I'm jealous of a friend that I inspired.

d2footballJRC
d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
in Chit-Chat
Not sure where to put this... Anyways... I'm jealous of a guy I inspired to lose weight.

A friend of mine 2 years ago saw me lose over 100lbs of weight, I was running 5k's and 10k's. He told me that it inspired him to take up a weight loss competition for a fitness magazine. He did awesome, he actually won his division and he in turn decided to change his focus on life and lost over 140 lbs in 10 months and is now trying to become a trainer. Now seeing how I bounced back into some bad habits I'm incredibly jealous of him.

I almost despise him for it and I know I shouldn't. He's a great guy and I really helped nudge him into making a better choice, sadly I didn't keep making those choices for myself.
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Replies

  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    Well you can talk about it or you can do something about it.

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  • Sovictorrious
    Sovictorrious Posts: 770 Member
    Sabotage bro!
  • JefferyArnold
    JefferyArnold Posts: 1,479 Member
    Take this jealousy as a chance to re-inspire yourself and get the competitive juices flowing. Take everything that he has achieved, because of you, and put it towards re-inventing yourself again and working on your progress.

    I find that we need to continuously invent a new version of us to keep up with all of our good habits while reducing bad habits.

    Show yourself that you can do exactly what he did, and step it up one notch and do it better.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I think that is pretty common. Use it as motivation if you can!!
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    Can you like Tanya Harding him?
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    you know what you have to do...

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  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    Can you like Tanya Harding him?

    I'd be lying if I didn't say I wished he would injure himself. He's still a friend, I know this is my issue to overcome.
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    Well you can talk about it or you can do something about it.

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    Working on the second part. Just wondering if anyone else ever ran into this.
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    Well you can talk about it or you can do something about it.

    zbiNj.gif

    Working on the second part. Just wondering if anyone else ever ran into this.

    No...I've always been proud and happy of any/all success that my friends have had. I think you need to refocus and channel those feelings positively.

    PS...I think this is the first time I've ever said something serious in the chit-chat section of these forums.
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
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  • CompressedCarbon
    CompressedCarbon Posts: 357 Member
    Not so much my issue. When my friends succeed, I try to figure out what they are doing that works and see if it will work for me. I'm not a competitive person by nature so maybe that's why. But can you use his success as an additional motivator for you?
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    Well you can talk about it or you can do something about it.

    zbiNj.gif

    Working on the second part. Just wondering if anyone else ever ran into this.

    No...I've always been proud and happy of any/all success that my friends have had. I think you need to refocus and channel those feelings positively.

    PS...I think this is the first time I've ever said something serious in the chit-chat section of these forums.

    Yeah I debated on where to post this.. Chit-Chat was probably not the best spot.
  • Unknown
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  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    Not so much my issue. When my friends succeed, I try to figure out what they are doing that works and see if it will work for me. I'm not a competitive person by nature so maybe that's why. But can you use his success as an additional motivator for you?

    Yeah, I am trying to use it.. I'm WAY to competitive of a person.
  • Muddy_Yogi
    Muddy_Yogi Posts: 1,459 Member
    Awww there there sweetie....here's a tissue...NOW SUCK IT UP!
  • 1PatientBear
    1PatientBear Posts: 2,089 Member
    Can you like Tanya Harding him?

    I'd be lying if I didn't say I wished he would injure himself. He's still a friend, I know this is my issue to overcome.

    So you're jealous of him and you hope he gets hurt. Got it. Sounds like he's lucky to have you as a "friend"
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    So you're jealous of him and you hope he gets hurt. Got it. Sounds like he's lucky to have you as a "friend"

    I said I've hoped he would get hurt before.. You know those little jealous bugs people get from time to time. I never said it was right, nor would I really want him to really get hurt. Thus why I said my issue to overcome.
  • sassyrayofsunshine
    sassyrayofsunshine Posts: 499 Member
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[/img]
  • KrazyDaizy
    KrazyDaizy Posts: 815 Member
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    Ummm, no, never experienced wanting something bad for my friend...evah. I'm a lifer with friends and they have my heart until I'm gone from this earth. I always want the absolute best for them. You may need to get some help with this since it appears you do recognize it as an issue.
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member
    Can you like Tanya Harding him?

    I'd be lying if I didn't say I wished he would injure himself. He's still a friend, I know this is my issue to overcome.

    This is going to sound kind of harsh. But this seems rather sadistic that you wish harm on another successful human for no other reason than they worked hard and accomplished a goal, even worse to wish it on a "friend". Sorry, if I were that person and ran across this thread, "friend" is not a word I would use to describe you.
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    wut_zps6ef6a223.gif

    Ummm, no, never experienced wanting something bad for my friend...evah. I'm a lifer with friends and they have my heart until I'm gone from this earth. I always want the absolute best for them. You may need to get some help with this since it appears you do recognize it as an issue.

    Maybe, its the first time I've felt like this. It's an odd feeling and I know it's not right. I know I'm competitive but I've never despised a friend like this before. I blame part of it on facebook, I see every day his posts on his progress as he posts pictures and his workouts on facebook every dang day.
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    Can you like Tanya Harding him?

    I'd be lying if I didn't say I wished he would injure himself. He's still a friend, I know this is my issue to overcome.

    This is going to sound kind of harsh. But this seems rather sadistic that you wish harm on another successful human for no other reason than they worked hard and accomplished a goal, even worse to wish it on a "friend". Sorry, if I were that person and ran across this thread, "friend" is not a word I would use to describe you.

    Not harsh in the least. Trust me I've dolled out tough love on these boards over the years. I posted it as this isn't normal for me. It's hard to describe, I am happy for him yet same time something inside me is jealous. Just weird. I don't get why he makes me jealous so much. I do think the facebook posts is really what gets to me. I hate seeing them every day, maybe it's my own guilt slapping me in the face. Hell if I know.
  • LivKerr_x
    LivKerr_x Posts: 2
    I wouldn't say that I get jealous, but more intrigued of their motivational methods and then imitate that. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, remember ;)
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    I wouldn't say that I get jealous, but more intrigued of their motivational methods and then imitate that. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, remember ;)

    Finding a magazine fitness competition will be hard :-D. (I kid). I play basketball with the guy every Sunday. heck his kids and mine are friends. I'd never admit this openly to the guy. Just one of those you get to be anon on the internet about it things.
  • singlefemalelawyer
    singlefemalelawyer Posts: 382 Member
    Obviously you recognize that you don't really hate your friend, but really you hate yourself for letting yourself go. Use that anger/frustration and recommit and refocus on your goals and you won't care about what your friend is doing because you're doing something good for yourself. And stay off facebook or hide his updates if it's really getting to you.
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    Can you like Tanya Harding him?

    I'd be lying if I didn't say I wished he would injure himself. He's still a friend, I know this is my issue to overcome.

    So you're jealous of him and you hope he gets hurt. Got it. Sounds like he's lucky to have you as a "friend"
    man, I need friends like that. Not.

    Irony is you have 50 shades of gray as your profile pic... talking about hurting others. ;-)
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    Obviously you recognize that you don't really hate your friend, but really you hate yourself for letting yourself go. Use that anger/frustration and recommit and refocus on your goals and you won't care about what your friend is doing because you're doing something good for yourself. And stay off facebook or hide his updates if it's really getting to you.

    This was probably the way I should of phrased it. Like I said.. I'm happy for him, but something about the situation just eats me up inside. He is a great guy and his family is awesome people. I'm blessed to know them.
  • CorlissaEats
    CorlissaEats Posts: 493 Member
    Either use his success to get yourself back on track, or talk to him. Although I am not too sure how talking to him is going to help unless you've been an *kitten*. Technically, jealousy is YOUR attitude problem not his. Has he been rubbing it in your face? Trying to make you feel bad? In that case, maybe its also his fault and requires a tete-a-tete. Do men have heart to hearts?

    Honestly, say this out loud to yourself: Someone else's success does not equal my failure.
    Now repeat. Truly, someone doing great things for their body does not automatically take away some of your hard work. Your loss/work to date does not become less. At best, your laziness makes it less. Jealousy dishonors yourself and the other person. Compete with yourself not others.
  • blindcode
    blindcode Posts: 34
    Take this jealousy as a chance to re-inspire yourself and get the competitive juices flowing. Take everything that he has achieved, because of you, and put it towards re-inventing yourself again and working on your progress.

    I find that we need to continuously invent a new version of us to keep up with all of our good habits while reducing bad habits.

    Show yourself that you can do exactly what he did, and step it up one notch and do it better.

    I agree with this advice too. I'm having to do this myself because people really get motivated. I'm glad though - makes me feel accomplished for their sake, but a little fear resides that I have to step it up a notch - so I am. You can too!
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,267 Member
    Obviously you recognize that you don't really hate your friend, but really you hate yourself for letting yourself go. Use that anger/frustration and recommit and refocus on your goals and you won't care about what your friend is doing because you're doing something good for yourself. And stay off facebook or hide his updates if it's really getting to you.

    This was probably the way I should of phrased it. Like I said.. I'm happy for him, but something about the situation just eats me up inside. He is a great guy and his family is awesome people. I'm blessed to know them.

    Yah get up off your butt stop making the wrong decision and use him as a motivator and when you are where you want to be thank him...

    suck it up buttercup...been there...I did what I suggested...now Im smaller then her and she is the jelly belly.

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