I'm jealous of a friend that I inspired.

24

Replies

  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    Can you like Tanya Harding him?

    I'd be lying if I didn't say I wished he would injure himself. He's still a friend, I know this is my issue to overcome.

    This is going to sound kind of harsh. But this seems rather sadistic that you wish harm on another successful human for no other reason than they worked hard and accomplished a goal, even worse to wish it on a "friend". Sorry, if I were that person and ran across this thread, "friend" is not a word I would use to describe you.

    Not harsh in the least. Trust me I've dolled out tough love on these boards over the years. I posted it as this isn't normal for me. It's hard to describe, I am happy for him yet same time something inside me is jealous. Just weird. I don't get why he makes me jealous so much. I do think the facebook posts is really what gets to me. I hate seeing them every day, maybe it's my own guilt slapping me in the face. Hell if I know.
  • LivKerr_x
    LivKerr_x Posts: 2
    I wouldn't say that I get jealous, but more intrigued of their motivational methods and then imitate that. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, remember ;)
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    I wouldn't say that I get jealous, but more intrigued of their motivational methods and then imitate that. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, remember ;)

    Finding a magazine fitness competition will be hard :-D. (I kid). I play basketball with the guy every Sunday. heck his kids and mine are friends. I'd never admit this openly to the guy. Just one of those you get to be anon on the internet about it things.
  • singlefemalelawyer
    singlefemalelawyer Posts: 382 Member
    Obviously you recognize that you don't really hate your friend, but really you hate yourself for letting yourself go. Use that anger/frustration and recommit and refocus on your goals and you won't care about what your friend is doing because you're doing something good for yourself. And stay off facebook or hide his updates if it's really getting to you.
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    Can you like Tanya Harding him?

    I'd be lying if I didn't say I wished he would injure himself. He's still a friend, I know this is my issue to overcome.

    So you're jealous of him and you hope he gets hurt. Got it. Sounds like he's lucky to have you as a "friend"
    man, I need friends like that. Not.

    Irony is you have 50 shades of gray as your profile pic... talking about hurting others. ;-)
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    Obviously you recognize that you don't really hate your friend, but really you hate yourself for letting yourself go. Use that anger/frustration and recommit and refocus on your goals and you won't care about what your friend is doing because you're doing something good for yourself. And stay off facebook or hide his updates if it's really getting to you.

    This was probably the way I should of phrased it. Like I said.. I'm happy for him, but something about the situation just eats me up inside. He is a great guy and his family is awesome people. I'm blessed to know them.
  • CorlissaEats
    CorlissaEats Posts: 493 Member
    Either use his success to get yourself back on track, or talk to him. Although I am not too sure how talking to him is going to help unless you've been an *kitten*. Technically, jealousy is YOUR attitude problem not his. Has he been rubbing it in your face? Trying to make you feel bad? In that case, maybe its also his fault and requires a tete-a-tete. Do men have heart to hearts?

    Honestly, say this out loud to yourself: Someone else's success does not equal my failure.
    Now repeat. Truly, someone doing great things for their body does not automatically take away some of your hard work. Your loss/work to date does not become less. At best, your laziness makes it less. Jealousy dishonors yourself and the other person. Compete with yourself not others.
  • blindcode
    blindcode Posts: 34
    Take this jealousy as a chance to re-inspire yourself and get the competitive juices flowing. Take everything that he has achieved, because of you, and put it towards re-inventing yourself again and working on your progress.

    I find that we need to continuously invent a new version of us to keep up with all of our good habits while reducing bad habits.

    Show yourself that you can do exactly what he did, and step it up one notch and do it better.

    I agree with this advice too. I'm having to do this myself because people really get motivated. I'm glad though - makes me feel accomplished for their sake, but a little fear resides that I have to step it up a notch - so I am. You can too!
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
    Obviously you recognize that you don't really hate your friend, but really you hate yourself for letting yourself go. Use that anger/frustration and recommit and refocus on your goals and you won't care about what your friend is doing because you're doing something good for yourself. And stay off facebook or hide his updates if it's really getting to you.

    This was probably the way I should of phrased it. Like I said.. I'm happy for him, but something about the situation just eats me up inside. He is a great guy and his family is awesome people. I'm blessed to know them.

    Yah get up off your butt stop making the wrong decision and use him as a motivator and when you are where you want to be thank him...

    suck it up buttercup...been there...I did what I suggested...now Im smaller then her and she is the jelly belly.
  • christinemadden0223
    christinemadden0223 Posts: 175 Member
    Generally the things we despise in others reflect the flaws we see in ourselves. It's hard to take, but the only thing that will make you feel better is ignoring him and refocusing on yourself. Do things that make you proud of YOU and you'll feel less irritated with him =)
    Good luck!
    (and yes, I am going to attempt to take my own advice as well ;) we all do it!)
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    wut_zps6ef6a223.gif

    Ummm, no, never experienced wanting something bad for my friend...evah. I'm a lifer with friends and they have my heart until I'm gone from this earth. I always want the absolute best for them. You may need to get some help with this since it appears you do recognize it as an issue.

    Maybe, its the first time I've felt like this. It's an odd feeling and I know it's not right. I know I'm competitive but I've never despised a friend like this before. I blame part of it on facebook, I see every day his posts on his progress as he posts pictures and his workouts on facebook every dang day.

    It's time to stop logging into Facebook then.
  • seren1ty74
    seren1ty74 Posts: 171 Member
    who cares? it sucks. build a bridge. you aren't competing against him and you never will be. you are your own competitor.
  • Yogaqueen
    Yogaqueen Posts: 4 Member
    Thats kind of crazy, I can see your point as I would be pissed if one of my chubby friends suddenly got skinnier than me after being inspired by me and I would be bummed, but I would be happy for them, and use that jealousy as fuel to better myself. Do it. Use your anger/jealousy to fuel you! AND FYI jealousy is not attractive so if you have a GF keep it to yourself lol.
  • Stripeness
    Stripeness Posts: 511 Member
    Ok, I'll play armchair psychologist ;-)

    Your jealousy isn't really about your friend. It's about what you think you *should* be, and knowing you're not there. Your friend's just a mirror, and right now you want to smash it because you don't like what you see.

    And you get that it is your issue, which is an important first step. Now take that second step and see how it's really self-loathing. And work on that. I don't know what your goals are, so I can't advise you to one-up this guy. It's not about him anyway. It's about what YOU really want and where you are now, and how you feel about all that.

    Re-focus. What do YOU want? Really? Okay. Now how are you going to get there?

    And btw, pretty ballsy to put it out there in the forums like that.
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    Ok, I'll play armchair psychologist ;-)

    Your jealousy isn't really about your friend. It's about what you think you *should* be, and knowing you're not there. Your friend's just a mirror, and right now you want to smash it because you don't like what you see.

    And you get that it is your issue, which is an important first step. Now take that second step and see how it's really self-loathing. And work on that. I don't know what your goals are, so I can't advise you to one-up this guy. It's not about him anyway. It's about what YOU really want and where you are now, and how you feel about all that.

    Re-focus. What do YOU want? Really? Okay. Now how are you going to get there?

    And btw, pretty ballsy to put it out there in the forums like that.

    Well damn, not only do you get calorie counting with this web site...you get free psych eval!

    I luh this site!
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member

    It's time to stop logging into Facebook then.

    Probably good advice.. It's how I keep my family up to date with my kids and so forth. Dang facebook :-D
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    Ok, I'll play armchair psychologist ;-)

    Your jealousy isn't really about your friend. It's about what you think you *should* be, and knowing you're not there. Your friend's just a mirror, and right now you want to smash it because you don't like what you see.

    And you get that it is your issue, which is an important first step. Now take that second step and see how it's really self-loathing. And work on that. I don't know what your goals are, so I can't advise you to one-up this guy. It's not about him anyway. It's about what YOU really want and where you are now, and how you feel about all that.

    Re-focus. What do YOU want? Really? Okay. Now how are you going to get there?

    And btw, pretty ballsy to put it out there in the forums like that.

    Well damn, not only do you get calorie counting with this web site...you get free psych eval!

    I luh this site!

    Should be a donate button so I could buy them a beer!
  • FindingMyPerfection
    FindingMyPerfection Posts: 702 Member
    wut_zps6ef6a223.gif

    Ummm, no, never experienced wanting something bad for my friend...evah. I'm a lifer with friends and they have my heart until I'm gone from this earth. I always want the absolute best for them. You may need to get some help with this since it appears you do recognize it as an issue.

    Maybe, its the first time I've felt like this. It's an odd feeling and I know it's not right. I know I'm competitive but I've never despised a friend like this before. I blame part of it on facebook, I see every day his posts on his progress as he posts pictures and his workouts on facebook every dang day.
    Take a page from his book.
    Use FB and post
    goals
    Accomplishments
    Pics
    Motivational quotes

    You may feel silly at first but the likes and encouraging comments from friends can be powerful fuel to continue.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    YmfUVIm.gif
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member

    Take a page from his book.
    Use FB and post
    goals
    Accomplishments
    Pics
    Motivational quotes

    You may feel silly at first but the likes and encouraging comments from friends can be powerful fuel to continue.

    I always thought people thought those people were annoying. That's why I never really posted anything about it on facebook. Add in if you rebound you look kind of silly.

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