I'm on a diet, but my husband isn't

hubn8147

Hi! My name is Brenda, I just recently joined MFP - and I hope I'm not the only person here who has this problem!

Since joining, I have been obviously eating less and eating healthier. I do awesome while I'm at work, I bring my breakfast, lunch, and snacks with me. But dinner.... I've been married for 3 years now and my husband is a carnivor! He eats a lot (but never gains anything!). I've tried to make our regular dinners (i.e. fettichini alfredo) and only having a small portion (eating the chicken and broccoli, but not eating the noodles) but since the food is right there in front of me I always seem to eat it. I really want to make smaller and/or healthier dinners but I don't want to make my husband go hungry either.

Any suggestions for recipes or ideas for a successful dinner?

climbing_trees

Try replacing noodles with zucchini. Use a mandoline or julienne peeler or spiral slicer to get interesting shapes. You can get so full off zucchini noodles and only make a tiny dent in your calorie allowance.

mygrl4meee

My husband is thin and I am on a diet. I refuse to cook separate meals. I do make dinner mt biggest meal. Use portion control and I tend to get more veggies and smaller servings on rice, bread ECT. I freeze leftovers so not eating everything up gives me meals for another day. You can make it work.

Shuuma

Hi Brenda and welcome!

I'm in the same situation you are. My fiancee seems to always be ravenous. I just made a few decisions that help meals fit into my macros. I use ground turkey instead of ground beef in recipes and eat what he eats, but I eat a smaller portion, weigh it, and log it. I know that dinner will be heavier, calorie-wise, so I eat lighter during the day (if possible).

I've decided I won't deny myself anything, but I just eat calorie-appropriate portions. These are just things that work for me:

Adding a salad, lots of steamed or baked veggies, and replacing beef with lower fat portions of chicken and turkey helps lower the calories of meals and gives you a filler that will help stave off the impulse to eat more than you want of any one thing.

If you go out for a meal, ask for a to-go box when your dinner arrives, cut everything in half, and take it home for another meal another day.

Making a huge crock pot full of soup or turkey chili (just replace beef in your favorite recipe with turkey) and freezing in smaller portions helps. (He can heat up two or more and I'll just eat my one.)

Instead of stressing about what the main portion of your dinner is, just add a ton of veggies for side dishes to fill up on and sample the main course.

ecw3780

you have to let yourself eat what your husband is eating or you will go crazy. I weigh and measure everything. If you make pasta, make exactly how much you need for the 2 of you. Measure out your portion, and the rest goes on his plate. If you make something with multiple servings, decide it out into smaller containers when you serve it. If there is nothing left in the pot, you can't go back for seconds.

pmumble

Hey Brenda,

I'm in a similar situation in that my partner is not tracking their food and does not want to, but I need to in order to make progress. She's also mostly vegetarian while I am omnivore. Unfortunately the way we've resolved this is to buy separate groceries and cook our own meals. I guess this works well for us because I don't mind making my own food and I eat very differently than she does.

Have you considered trying to modularize the meals a bit and have rich sauces and foods swappable with an alternate food that is better for your plan? This is a little bit more cooking for you but if you can share 75% of the meal (vegetables/grains/whatnot) perhaps it would work.

Or, what if you slightly reduce the richness of the food to strike a compromise between your desires and his? This would allow you to eat a little more. Those familiar dishes might change a bit, but perhaps he'd be ok with that.

Another suggestion would be to add in exercise on your side so that you could eat more. (But you might already be doing this.)

Or maybe he could cook his own food? (I'm just jealous hehe)

And finally.. have you talked with him about this? Having those familiar dishes might not be as big of a deal to him as you think. He won't go hungry eating healthy food.

Good luck!

mccindy72

Hi! My name is Brenda, I just recently joined MFP - and I hope I'm not the only person here who has this problem!

Since joining, I have been obviously eating less and eating healthier. I do awesome while I'm at work, I bring my breakfast, lunch, and snacks with me. But dinner.... I've been married for 3 years now and my husband is a carnivor! He eats a lot (but never gains anything!). I've tried to make our regular dinners (i.e. fettichini alfredo) and only having a small portion (eating the chicken and broccoli, but not eating the noodles) but since the food is right there in front of me I always seem to eat it. I really want to make smaller and/or healthier dinners but I don't want to make my husband go hungry either.

Any suggestions for recipes or ideas for a successful dinner?

I'm gluten- and dairy-intolerant and my husband is not, so I have to make us separate meals each night. It can be a pain, but you do get used to it after a while. It takes a bit of work. And it won't hurt to remind your husband that just because he's thin, doesn't mean he's as healthy as he could be if he were eating healthier!

sue_stef

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/alfredo-light/

use a light alfredo sauce I also decrease the salt in it by using unsalted chicken stock
I want to try zucchini noodles I keep hearing great things about them

TheGymGypsy

My boyfriend and I are polar opposites in the food department. I am a mostly raw vegan/ vegetarian. He is a southern cookin' carnivore. We each make our own dinners. Occasionally when he doesn't want to make anything he'll eat what I'm having, and on special occasions I will cook him something he likes. But for the most part, we fend for ourselves.

stormbornkraken

I completely understand your concern. It is a fine line but you are on the right track with portion control and choosing healthier sides. Keep that up. Another idea is if you make it ahead you can keep the portions frozen until use and just take out what will be used that night. No need for extras sitting in bowls right in front of your face. Just warm up your portion and his larger portion to keep it controlled.

Hope you figure out what works.

Cheers!

cwolfman13

just weigh and measure appropriate portions of the same stuff you're cooking for you husband. Keep in mind that he will also need far more calories than you as well...even if he was dieting, but particularly as he is not. Making him eat spaghetti squash or whatever instead of pasta because you're cutting calories is going to leave him very much wanting and hungry.

I also like "@ pmumble's ideal of modularizing the meals...my wife do this quite often...I will make my ragu bolognese for example, and she will have her portion over spaghetti squash and I will have mine over pasta...stuff like that.

ninerbuff

My wife eats much less than I do and doesn't eat certain foods due to sensitivity. I do all the cooking and will cook separate for her daily. To me it's not a big deal. IMO, people shouldn't force their eating habit issues on others in the family. It's your issue.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

TheMrsCole

Try making some of the recipes on skinnytaste.com! My husband loves them and doesn't even know it is good for him! lol

ren_ascent

you have to let yourself eat what your husband is eating or you will go crazy. I weigh and measure everything. If you make pasta, make exactly how much you need for the 2 of you. Measure out your portion, and the rest goes on his plate. If you make something with multiple servings, decide it out into smaller containers when you serve it. If there is nothing left in the pot, you can't go back for seconds.

Ya know, this is simply genius. Kudos on the great idea!

cmartin709

My husband is over a foot taller than me, so even when we're both eating super healthy he needs a ton more food. We usually make lighter meals. I use skinnytaste.com a lot--she has lightened up a lot of traditional meals so it's not a huge jump in taste for him and it's less calories for me. I also will buy higher calorie snacks for him to have throughout the day so that he still feels full. We find that if he eats enough during the day the lighter dinner meal isn't such a big deal, and he can always have a bigger portion of dinner. I usually cook for 4-6 and bring leftovers for lunch the next day, so there's always extra if he wants more.

Bella0531

I totally know how you feel. My husband is trying to bulk and I'm trying to slim down (if only I could give him my 'excess').

If I'm making a big pot of something I will portion out one serving for me, two for him and immediately (even before sitting down to eat) put the rest in tupperware containers for lunches or another dinner.

If I'm making something that is only supposed to be for one night, I will make three portions - one for me and two for him - this way I literally cannot have more. I always make tons of veggies, though. You can return for seconds or thirds on those if it fits into your day.

GL!

GingerLolita

I cook for myself and my boyfriend often; I always cook healthy meals and he always loves them. Find some healthy recipes that will appeal to your husband. Even if he doesn't need to lose weight, there's no reason he can't eat healthier. You could always make three portions, one for yourself and two for him, if you're concerned about him not being full. But your healthy meals should include plenty of filling and nutritious foods. My boyfriend is extremely supportive, even refusing to bring dairy into our apartment because I can't eat it, but if your husband is not supportive, that's an even bigger issue.

Ramen237

Hi Brenda!

When I visit my family, they always offer me foods that I know will take me beyond my calorie allowance. While there are times I give in to temptation, I use a few strategies to eat less. Sometimes I drink a cup of tea or seltzer water before a big meal (like dinner), so that I don't feel as hungry, and compelled to eat all the homemade goodness my mom puts in front of me! I also try to start my meal with something filling, but low-calorie, like some salad, roasted vegetables, and the like. This means that I get volume, but not too many calories. Also, if I know that I'm going to have a rich meal for dinner (pasta with a creamy sauce, dessert, steak, anything fried or with a high-ish fat content, etc), I'll make my other meals lighter, so that I can have just a little extra at dinner and not be crushed by the guilt.

I also find that if I'm cooking for the family, it's a good idea to make soups with beans or lentils. Sometimes I add pork or chicken to the soup, or grains like buckwheat, quinoa, or even oats. Then, when it's time to serve it, different family members request that I give them "more meat" or "more veggies" so everyone ends up with a customized dish, and I can serve my own portion with no meat or no potatoes if I want to hold off on the calories. As long as you don't add too much butter or oil into the soup, the broth itself is delicious and filling too!

When steak is served, we usually slice it up, that way I can have just one slice a.k.a. serving, and not a whole slab of meat that I feel obligated to finish!

When making pasta, my family requests how much they want on their plate, and then one of us serves everyone according to their wishes. So if I ask for just a little, I will be served just that, and then the pot is taken away. When a bowl full of second helpings is sitting in front of me, i'm constantly eyeing it, eventually giving in to the pull, but if it's out of sight I do better!

Like other people have mentioned, portion control is really important. It can be tough sometimes, but I use these "tricks" to cut back on the calories, and they work for me

I hope you figure out a strategy that works for you. I know that it's really tough being in that situation, when food that you can't have is available like that... But you can do it! I hope we've given you some ideas that you can maybe implement

Ramen237

I totally know how you feel. My husband is trying to bulk and I'm trying to slim down (if only I could give him my 'excess').

If I'm making a big pot of something I will portion out one serving for me, two for him and immediately (even before sitting down to eat) put the rest in tupperware containers for lunches or another dinner.

If I'm making something that is only supposed to be for one night, I will make three portions - one for me and two for him - this way I literally cannot have more. I always make tons of veggies, though. You can return for seconds or thirds on those if it fits into your day.

GL!

Agreed! This works for me and my family as well. You definitely can't eat it if it's already in the fridge! Too much work

spoons81

I'm in the same boat - my boyfriend can eat like a horse and gain nothing. I am the one cooking the meals, however, so he eats what I make for dinner. I usually do a lean meat like chicken, or fish, and then a vegatable. I eat a lot of baked sweet potatoes and buy him the regular potatoes with all the fixings he likes. On nights where I go without a starch, I'll whip him up a side of his choice, which is usually instant mashed potatoes or Stove Top. When he wants pasta I make a sauce with ground turkey, and then he gets ziti and I use spaghetti Squash instead. There's ways to make meals that are yummy and satisfying for him without being unhealthy for you. My boyfriend never complains about being hungry - just gotta keep the meals interesting and not too "diety."

Zelinna

My husband is the main cook and not on a diet, so I did not have control over my dinners for the entire time I lost weight. We ate pretty much normal dinners the entire time.

I just learned to eat smaller portions and make sure I left enough room in my day for a 500-700 cal dinner.

MinnieInMaine

My Hubs isn't on board with lighter eating either. He's getting better about the healthier options but still tends to have an automatic "ick" reaction when I bring home things like whole wheat pasta. I actually got to the point early on where I'd just hide ingredients from him, wait for his reaction and then tell him that it was the healthier version. In most cases, he had absolutely no clue. The one major disaster was fat free shredded cheese - that stuff is just evil! Melted cheese should not look like plastic! LOL!

Anyway, like others have said, ultimately you can still eat the things you both like. Maybe try to lighten up the recipes a bit with leaner/less meat, a little less pasta/rice/potato and a little more veggies. I tend to add extra bell peppers, mushrooms, broccoli and sometimes carrots to a lot of my favorite recipes. Or like some have said, have a smaller portion of the decadant dish (all of it, pasta, sauce etc so you're not feeling like you're missing out) and fill the rest of your plate with steamed veggies or salad. Just make sure to keep your portions light.

One other trick I've been trying to do is slow down my eating. I used to keep pace with Hubs and I think that was part of the problem with eating so much - it was like a contest. Now I eat slowly, taking time with each bite, cutting meat into little pieces, etc and although I eat less, we usually finish around the same time or he might even finish before me.

FYI, for alfredo, if you go with jarred sauce, I discovered Classico makes a good light alfredo sauce. Or you can search for recipes online that are lighter. The ones I used to make used low fat, low sodium cream of mushroom soup with a little milk and a little parm and hubby was pretty fond of it but I like the jarred sauce better.

It can be done! Best of luck!

kbolton322

I cook one meal for me and my family... I ask my husband what he would like and then I make it when I can eat it.. I was doing two diffenent meals but I was going crazy trying to keep up with it so I just do it like this... If my husband don't like he can either cook his own meals or just not eat...

k8blujay2

I too just cook one meal for the family... I eat what I cook... noodles, sauce, chicken... whatever... but I put it on a salad plate and try to fill half of it with vegetables... that way I still feel satisfied by eating what I want... but not eating it all.

Kitship

Same boat! My fiance is 6'10 so he needs a lot of food just to survive. I make hearty meals but just give myself a smaller portion. It's difficult because he LOVES pasta, and watching him eat his heaping bowl while I munch on my measly cup of pasta sucks, but you get used to it. I also try to eat lighter during the day to save room for a larger dinner.

radioonemike

My wife often diets much more than I do. While I have to exercise a bit and diet a little to lose some weight.

What usually works when I am trying to support her (and eat better myself), here's what we try to do.


-If you are making more involved dishes that have sauces or other types of caloric goodness, either just make enough for his regular portion and your smaller portion. Or make a batch and individually freeze both your portion sizes. Out of sight and mind, but they servings are there when you don't have the time to cook.

-If you grill or bbq (I know they are not the same!) trying using leaner cuts of meat, or leaner options for just yourself. And if you must and want to eat a better cut of meat (and who doesn't) adjust your side dishes to include more vegetables and less starchy carbohydrates.

-Try to get rid of as much starchy carbs as you can stand. Replace with vegetables. I am part Italian in heritage. So every Sunday I usually make macaroni, gravy, meatballs and sausage or a lasagna. But last night instead of eating more pasta for dinner, I cooked up some frozen zucchini and had that with the meatballs and sausage instead. Or sometimes when I make a lasagna i use eggplant as the noodles.

It might be difficult at first, but if you use MFP, you can realize all sorts of tweaks you can do to your foods that will add up. And don't forget to cheat! Having a big cheat meal once a week is great way to feel like your are not limiting yourself.

I'd also pickup a Fitbit or another fitness tracker to see how much activity you are doing and how that can affect your caloric ceiling. Maybe you can eat a little more if your activity level is higher.

Everything does add up... Good luck!

DeltaZero

Stop dieting.


Make a life change.



done.

JustAnotherGirlSuzanne

My husband is 6'7" and a bricklayer. He's in great shape and needs to keep up his calorie intake because in his job he's basically lifting heavy all day long. When he gets home from work he eats a sandwich before dinner because he's hungry and dinner's not ready yet for the both of us since we're both working. Since he's already eaten 200-300 calories, we don't make as much for dinner and our portion sizes end up being about the same.

It works for us.

rml_16

Are there foods he really likes and you don't? Maybe try making those the main course and sides that you like and will eat less of.

cici1028

Sure, I've been there! I was overweight and my husband wasn't so we tackled this by making separate meals. IF there was a meal we agreed on (example: tacos) we made them lean and healthy with turkey and then he just ate double what I did. Portion control! That's all willpower, and you will have to get used to saying no even if it is in front of you. You can, it just takes time.

ryry_

I'm just happy we are on page 2 and it hasn't devolved into "I know girlfriend! I know how you can lose 180 lbs quick, right, and in a hurry!"