I'm on a diet, but my husband isn't

battybecks

My bf and I take it in turns to cook - I have a cooking week, then he does.

He tries his best to make his weeks relatively healthy, and he's getting better at it, but calorie counting is sooo much easier when it's me doing the cooking!

Either way, I eat a very small breakfast and lunch, and save dinner as my main big meal (as other people were saying). I cook LOADS of food - but with veggies making up the bulk, and lean meat and fewer carbs than I used to. I use less cheese and less oil when cooking and I make substitutions like crème fraiche for cream, etc. He also gets bigger portions. He never goes hungry - but we realised recently that he had lost some weight with all the healthy food, and he's started having bigger lunches to balance it out.

It's totally doable. Good luck!

gelendestrasse

I'm with the "cook what you like but eat less" thought. The idea of substituting some things for noodles or potato is good too. Just eat slowly and enjoy what you've got and let him chow down as he pleases. You can also suggest exercise things you can do together, walks, bikes, etc. that will get the metabolism up for both of you.

dzlilo

My fiance isn't following the same diet as I am either. He's a meat and potatoes kind of man!. I have to watch my carb intake and sodium levels. The meals that fit both of our needs so far involve a protein with one or two veggies. We eat a lot of chicken breasts! We tend to roast or "oven fry" to reduce the calories. For pasta dishes, he'll get real pasta while I use shirataki. It looks like a noodle so I don't feel deprived seeing his big plate of yumminess. I did buy a thing to make "noodles" out of veggies, but haven't used it yet. When I serve anything with potatoes, I'll set aside a small, plain one for me and fix the rest as usual for him. I tried to fight it, but I gave in to trying the "riced cauliflower." It's not that bad. I sauteed some in a tiny bit of seasame oil with a sprinkle of black pepper. It was good with some homemade Chinese stir fry. It's gotten to the point where I don't want to eat what he eats though.

beattie1

I totally know how you feel. My husband is trying to bulk and I'm trying to slim down (if only I could give him my 'excess').

If I'm making a big pot of something I will portion out one serving for me, two for him and immediately (even before sitting down to eat) put the rest in tupperware containers for lunches or another dinner.

If I'm making something that is only supposed to be for one night, I will make three portions - one for me and two for him - this way I literally cannot have more. I always make tons of veggies, though. You can return for seconds or thirds on those if it fits into your day.

GL!

This is what I do. Or when cooking for non-dieting husband AND adult son, I make 5 small portions and have just one while they have 2 each.

RosieRaz

Yeah, my husband and I get into conversations about the dinner food as well. He's a laborer and could probably eat 2000-3000 calories a day and argues that just because I'm on a diet, he doesn't need to be too. I've found two things that work...

1. Make meals that are not one dish meals (Crockpot meals, cassaroles, skillets etc. ). These used to be my standby because they were easy. Now I ususally make something on the grill, have one carb side and one veggie side.

2. Either make enough for just one meal or portion out the leftovers into tupperware to use as my lunches for work. (The husband also doesn't eat leftovers... )

Smeltzer2

It is none of our business what others eat. Make dinner, take your pirtion eat moderately wgatever it is. He may ecen enjoy any leftovers for lunch the next day. If you are eating healthy the rest of the day, just eat a regular dinner and keep your goaks, but don't deprive him. Does his job get him lots of exercise. He is probably burning more calories.

DeliriumCanBeFun

Not only do I have a husband that can eat anything he wants, I also have 2 teenage/preteen boys who can also and 2 younger step kids who are pickier. I do all the cooking, and planning ahead is is the absolute most important part. I make healthier versions of the favorites, and everyone has gotten accustomed to it. There is no reason for anyone to suffer. I have a great version of alfredo that is made with chicken broth, fat free greek yogurt, parmesean and a few other things and my family loves it! I never fry anything, use the leanest cuts of meat possible and always have loads of veggies on which to fill up even if no one else wants that. It's hard to pass up the treats that i provide for them, but I was able to allow myself a piece of king cake yesterday because I know it's important for me to leave some extra calories for an evening dessert on some days.

aimeedavids13

I am so on the same boat. My husband has the metabolism of a 12 year old school girl. And a huge sweet tooth. I begged him to keep the sweets out of sight but just to tell you how bad it is. I did so good all week last week, lost 4 lbs. Spent 2 days with my husband and our 6 years old and then her school was canceled due to inclement weather and there I was at home with her all day with a full bag of Oreos! I weighed this a.m. as I typically do on Monday a.m. and I weighed 4 lbs heavier after just 3 days! It's like I diet all week just so I don't gain any additional weight over the weekend. My husband typically cooks dinner for him and my daughter because he is a school teacher and they both get home earlier than me (I don't get home until 7:00) so I think I am just going to try to go by the gym while they are eating dinner and then when I get home from the gym I can have a protein banana smoothie and the temptation should be out of the way by that time. Now to figure out what to do on the weekends. My husband will not adopt to my way of eating and he will encourage me any way he can as long as he doesn't have to change his eating/exercising lifestyle. ;-)

hananah89

When my boyfriend is over for dinner, he knows I'm going to do something healthy. I prelog what I plan to eat. I dish out what I want then he can go at it (he is also one that can eat whatever he wants). Then if there are leftovers I save them for my lunch the next day or he takes them for lunch.

I agree about skinnytaste, I made this one twice in a week awhile back it was so good. The bf definitely didn't think it was low calorie! http://www.skinnytaste.com/2012/04/cheesy-jalapeno-popper-baked-stuffed.html

ETA: my bf is asian and grew up with rice as a staple. If he needs more filler we'll make rice for him and I just won't have any.

pawoodhull

I had weight loss surgery 2.5 years ago and my diet is drasticly different than my husband's. And, because of our different work schedules, he cooks most of our meals. So, I take what I can of the meals either of us cook, and he eats what he wants. Simple. I do not do fast food anymore by choice. He respects that and doesn't have that if I need to eat too. He's gotten quite good a grilling or broiling meats and having a green vegetable or salad with the protein. We make it work, but really it's all about respecting each other. He wants me to be healthy, which translates for me to being smaller. He doesn't eat exactly like I do, but he does respect what I'm doing and doesn't try to change me.

As for eating it if it's there, I totally relate to that. Change up what you make so you can fill up on healthy food. Feeling deprived or always hungry I believe leads to failure. And remember, even though your husband doesn't gain weight from what he's eating right now, that will most likely change on him in a few years. My husband is 6'8" and was skinny as a rail until he hit 40 and then he started gaining weight. Making healthy changes in your household diet now will benefit you right now as you try to lose, but also benefit your husband as time goes on. Having a healthier diet is only a plus for you both.

lolagurlx0x0

Same thing at my house. I either cook something I don't like- or cook something I do like and modify it to be healthy. If my SO doesnt like it he can always figure out what to eat lol. IE Fried Chicken. Yummy right? I made that last night with pork rinds for breading- he gets something good and so do I! High in protein (both the chicken and pork rinds) low in carbs. And then I would pair that with corn cooked with pepper. and maybe some mashed potatoes. Or hamburgers- I have a recipe for bread that is low calorie and low to no carb- Oopsie bread- Ill make those- and then make big juicy burgers.

Also- heres a key to my madness- I will ONLY make enough to feed the 2 of us. No left overs if I can help it, no second portions. I will put double on my SO's plate if I think he will eat 2- but only make enough for a meal for each of us.

tabbyxxcat

Same here with my boyfriend!!!! Thankfully, I do all of the choosing then cooking so we always have plentiful meats and frozen veggies in the house for nights when we are both home together ) I get to cook my meat in the oven instead of fryed with oil, etc. like my former, larger self

The key is to portion your plates out beforehand. I always scoop out what we're having for dinner using measuring cups onto my plate, then put a hearty amount of each onto my boyfriend's plate, and bring them out to the table for us to eat. If he wants more, he can go to the kitchen himself and get himself some of the leftovers, but I make sure to not eat more calories than I can afford

Also drink lots of water. Helps you know when you're actually full so that you don't keep putting more food on your plate ^^

Best of luck

Fit_Mama84

Most of my advice is the same as everyone else has already suggested, but here's one thing I do with my husband. I look up brand new recipes that are in line with my eating goals but would be appealing to him as well. We both win with this approach. We get to try new things, we get to enjoy the same meals, and we're both healthier without feeling deprived of anything. Eventually we'll both have so many favorite meals out of the new recipes that the high calorie/low nutrient food we used to eat won't be so appealing.

the1dergirl

This is the same problem that I have!! He's starting to come around now that I have explained how important it is to me that I hit my fitness goal. I find that if he is craving something that is way off track like Alfredo or fried chicken, we go out to dinner. That allows him to order that not so healthy option but allows me to order something that is on my plan and there is not a huge pan of leftovers that I am tempted to eat!

animatorswearbras

For evening meals I just cook less and give him his regular "man" portion and myself a smaller diet portion which I usually put on a big bed of salad to pad it out (I need to pad mine out so we finish eating at the same time, otherwise I'll eat it and then stare at his like a dog until he's finished even if I'm not hungry anymore lol) ;D

I try not to make meals that will have left overs either because they don't get left.

RhonndaJ

I very rarely cook, my husband does it and he's not going to change the way he cooks or eats for me, nor would I consider asking him to.

I simply choose to go with portion control. Thankfully he loves vegetables.

saradord

Stop dieting.


Make a life change.




done.

exactly!!!!! :happy:

pocketmole

I think you can make portion control work for you. You mentioned that you've tried it and you can't resist eating seconds - this is something that I do as well. My solution has been to make just enough food that seconds isn't an option. Someone else mentioned something I do, which is to make 3 portions and let him have 2. I have a thin friend that eats with me a lot and this is often how I handle it. Similarly there are times when my boyfriend wants to go strict low carb or non dairy, so I just make recipes where I can split things up. For instance if you make tacos put your taco filling on a salad and give him a couple of taco shells or tortillas. Finally I'm sure there are lots of great healthy recipes that your husband will enjoy. Healthy food doesn't immediately mean terrible food.

hubn8147

Wow, thanks for all the ideas! I checked out www.skinnytaste.com and I've already found several recipes that I'm excited to try! Some I'm sure my husband will love (he's a picky eater) and some I may just have to serve without telling him what I'm making .

It seems that the most common answer to my problem is self-control, which I know is a huge obstacle for me. But there are definately some great ideas you guys gave on how to overcome it!

If there are any other ideas/recipes I'd love to hear them!

McMehu

my husband likes these frozen pizzas that I think STINK they give me heartburn. He loves them. So when I am making something low calorie that he wouldnt like he usually eats that. Sometimes we eat similar meals except I add more cheese/bigger portions for him.

Francl27

We make whatever and he eats more than me (and snacks after dinner too). Problem solved.

hubn8147

So good news! I talked to my husband about my concern trying to eat healthy without "punishing" him, and he told me that he would like to start eating healthier too! In fact, I tried a new recipe from skinnytaste.com and we ate healthy all weekend - and today he told me he felt much better today and not as sluggish. He said he wanted to get in the habit of eating healthier. Success! I'm so happy he's on board! It will make it easier for both of us.