I am the woman in the freeweights section of the gym

QueenOSpades

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shanaber

How do people get over the fear of going in the mens weight room?

I am a fat woman and I already feel completely horrible in the gym, but when I notice that men are staring at me it makes me so uncomfortable that I can't concentrate on working out.

I really enjoy weight lifting. I've been going to Body Pump and enjoy it but I want to try "proper" weight lifting.

My initial plan was to focus on diet and cardio and just try to get slim enough that I can go in the weight room.

I tried to find a ladies only gym. But there is only one and it's so expensive.

My other alternative is to try and find a time when nobody else is in there, but difficult as I work full time.

What I have done in the past is run into the weight room, grab some dumbells as quickly as I can then leg it over to the stretches section where I weight lift with a swiss ball (I find it more comfortable than the bench) but even then I get stared at when I dare set foot...

My biggest problem is that I find a lot of the guys in the weightroom are the kind of guys that think being fat is absolutely the worst thing in the world, and that any female who dares be overweight should be ostracised from society. I've had sneery comments just being /near/ the weight section. I just don't know how people do it.

I am sorry that you feel so uncomfortable in your gym! I too used to be terribly uncomfortable just going to the gym for cardio never mind doing weights. I would sign up for a membership, go once or twice and then stop because I knew I didn't look like all of those 'fit' people. But you know what you are awesome because you are going and you are doing something to better yourself. You may have a bigger challenge and it may not be as easy for you as for many of them which makes you even more awesome. I know it is hard but I would say just ignore the people that stare or make comments and tell yourself that you are awesome and that you can do this - over and over if need be. It may surprise you that some of those people may respect what you are doing especially if they too made a journey to get fit too. I know I admire the people at my gym who are there trying to improve because I know how hard it is. I also know that some may look at me now as one of those judgmental 'fit' people. Hold your head up high and do whatever you need to do for you!

franhaselden

I think it stems from my insecurity about doing anything to draw attention to myself. Having been fat since I was a kid, I've tried my hardest to blend in and not be noticed. I can't even get the courage to stand up in front of friends and family and do something silly. I remember a few xmas's ago my boyfriends Mum bought one of those "Just Dance" videos and thought it would be funny to get everyone playing it. I couldn't bear it, my BF tried to drag me up to the TV to do it but I just couldn't. It's like stage fright. In fact just typing this out has given me a lump in my throat!

I try my hardest when I'm out and about to keep my head down and be quiet in the hopes that no one will notice me. I hate walking past the pub near my house as people (mainly men) stare at me, I don't know why.

I think it's the idea that going into the weight room is like saying "hey, look at me! I'm different! I'm something of note that will register in your brain!" I don't want to register with anyone, I just want to be invisible. I feel a lot more invisible in the more female dominated areas of the gym.

Luckily on my gym tour I noticed that the stretching area has dumbells. I can't lift that much so it should be good enough for me. I think I'm going to focus on trying to shift the weight with diet mainly and cardio to supplement. Hopefully one day I will be slim enough for the weights room.

NinaSharp

Thank you! I am usually that lone woman myself and I find myself super annoyed when men look at me. I can't tell if my form is horrible or if they are surprised. I really needed this post!

ShellF415

I used to be really intimidated by the fit guys in the weight area until I realized that they are focused on their work out and don't really care what I'm doing. Now I just do my thing.

brisingr86

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hnsaunde

I recently started branching out from the women's only location in my area to the coed ones closer to home (they've got better/different equipment). I used to get anxiety attacks just walking into the building (fast breathing, heart rate skyrocketing, shaking etc.) but I've forced myself to keep going.

I finally reached a point where I realized I shouldn't be holding myself back because I'm intimidated by lifting around men, but it took me a long time to get there. I was paranoid about looks at first, but then I realized no one was really looking at me, they were doing their own thing.

shanaber

I think it stems from my insecurity about doing anything to draw attention to myself. Having been fat since I was a kid, I've tried my hardest to blend in and not be noticed. I can't even get the courage to stand up in front of friends and family and do something silly. I remember a few xmas's ago my boyfriends Mum bought one of those "Just Dance" videos and thought it would be funny to get everyone playing it. I couldn't bear it, my BF tried to drag me up to the TV to do it but I just couldn't. It's like stage fright. In fact just typing this out has given me a lump in my throat!

I try my hardest when I'm out and about to keep my head down and be quiet in the hopes that no one will notice me. I hate walking past the pub near my house as people (mainly men) stare at me, I don't know why.

I think it's the idea that going into the weight room is like saying "hey, look at me! I'm different! I'm something of note that will register in your brain!" I don't want to register with anyone, I just want to be invisible. I feel a lot more invisible in the more female dominated areas of the gym.

Luckily on my gym tour I noticed that the stretching area has dumbells. I can't lift that much so it should be good enough for me. I think I'm going to focus on trying to shift the weight with diet mainly and cardio to supplement. Hopefully one day I will be slim enough for the weights room.

Starting in an area you feel more comfortable in may make the gym overall less intimidating and when you are ready for it the regular weight room will be there. I hope that as you become more fit your self confidence will rise a bit so you are more comfortable with you and those who care about you. I think maybe the folks at the pub are looking to see that beautiful face and wondering why she never looks up.

jenbroussard71

Bump - Reading New Rules right now.

NextPage

Great post. I'm lucky that my gym has quite a few women that lift heavy and there doesn't seem to be any isues with feeling comfortable or being accepted. Most people are just there to get the job done.

I'm 51 and have always strength trained but I'm just a recent convert to heavier lifting. It is just so darn effective and efficient. Less time in the gym with more visible results is a formula hard to argue with. Frankly us older women are fighting against the natural loss of muscle tone and lower metabolism and it is great to get ahead of the game.

Your comment that a guy once said "I have a really good two person ab workout I'd like to show you" was too funny - can't say I have ever heard anything that lacking in subtlety.

SemperAnticus1643

NICE!!! Love the post.

lulu150

bumping for later

maranarasauce93

I'm seeing more and more women by the free weights and it's a beautiful thing! I used to do the standard bicep curls, tricep curls, tricep extensions blahblah with 10-15 lb dumbells. Now--thanks to Crossfit--I am moving on to the big bad powercages. I feel even more awkward in this area now though because here I am with 2.5lbs on each side working on my powerclean motion and I'm stuck here and I just want to get stronger and stronger but it's so hard. However, I did PR on my front squat recently with 95lbs for 2reps lol so it's been an exciting week for me!

mizzcasual

I've quite like being in the weights area and the trx . At the start I was a little intimidated more when I wasn't sure exactly what I was doing i. I like being there now I just do my own thing don't pay too much attention sometimes the guys motivate me more . Occasionally there's times I've gone I've been the only girl thats always strange the only time I might feel a little intimidated but I don't mind so much anymore I always have my ipod with me.

sculli123

Good post OP. It's usually the women who lift real weights that end up with the best bodies. The ones afraid to do it because 'weights will make me big' are losing out.

sculli123

How do people get over the fear of going in the mens weight room?

You just have to realize that it's not the "mens" weight room at all. It's everyone's weight room. 99% of the time nobody cares about what anyone else is doing unless they're hogging the equipment or being annoying for some reason.

Fitfully_me

How do people get over the fear of going in the mens weight room?

You just have to realize that it's not the "mens" weight room at all. It's everyone's weight room. 99% of the time nobody cares about what anyone else is doing unless they're hogging the equipment or being annoying for some reason.

I definitely agree. Its everyone's weight room, and I find the men are quite encouraging to us women in there doing our thing.

CallMeCupcakeDammit

In for the roll!

csi4us

I am also the women in the free-weights section at the gym. Like most women I've talked to, I too was intimated to enter that section. If I was unsure of a certain lifting exercise, I looked on You Tube before trying to attempt it in the gym. I got in front of my mirror at home and mimicked the movements in front of the mirror.

For many months I just did the elliptical machine. I was not happy with the results of just losing weight, I wanted to tone up and lean up! That's when I decided to conquer my fear of entering the weight room and started lifting heavy weights. For the most part the men at my gym don't bother you. They are actually impressed that I can lift heavy and with good form.(which at the beginning wasn't the case I could barely deadlift 45lbs. They are polite and willing to help out if you need it. If you don't want to talk to anyone, consider wearing headphones and listening to music. I wish I know how to post pictures on here. but if you wish to see some of me lifting and of my process you can check out my instagram @3kidsmomma.

Grnhouse

I agree. The weight room belongs to all members not just the men.

candyinmyheels

I try to go when it is least busy-- I am forever searching for times when it is close to empty (lately this has been early in the morning).
And then i just try to tune out anyone else. Focus on whatever I am doing and ignore anyone else (unless they need to work in between sets where i am) and hopefully they are not just throwing weights on the ground.

meganreinsch

I have chosen to workout at 6:00am. First of all because it works into my scheduled. Secondly, because the gym is quiet - I have learned to not be intimated in the "weight section". However, when I am fighting with the big guy hogging all the dumbbells for one square ft of space it can be intimidating. I enjoy my peace and quiet in order to lift those weights to the best of my abilities !

woodml1

I run a gym at a college rec center and I'm actually THRILLED to see that the ladies are taking over our weight room!

We have the highest number of female participants in the morning, before it gets too busy/crowded. This morning (8:00 am) there were probably 4-5 women and only 2-3 men!

I'm not sure why this is happening on our campus but I am so pumped! I've been here for 4 years and have never seen the tables turn. During our busy times during the semester, I've seen 150 men on the floor with NO women at all. I hope some of the trend sticks (and expands) once the fall semester rolls back around!

RGreenthumb

Right, I've decided to give it a go. I've got an induction at my gym (where I mostly do classes) to ask how to use the weights. I'm currently imagining all manner of ways that I could make myself look stupid and be laughed put of town, but hopefully they're all pretty unlikely.

I'll report back, unless a great pit of shame opens up and swallows me whole because I ask a really stupid question.

RGreenthumb

Well I went and I asked to be shown the free weights. What did I get shown? The treadmill? I asked a second time and got shown the bike. I asked a third time and got told women don't really lift weights so he couldn't show me them. What the actual hell?! I kicke up a fuss and I have an appointment with someone who might be able to help on Thursday, but I'm not that hopeful, particularly as this gym seems to mainly just have weights machines.

Argh! I definitely need to do this now, so that I have muscles big enough to punch people who say this type of thing.

riadhdeb

Men like it when girls are in the weight room, as oppose to just waking around the gym. Beside, you do what ever necessary to achieve your goals any where any time.

sjbtiger

Well I went and I asked to be shown the free weights. What did I get shown? The treadmill? I asked a second time and got shown the bike. I asked a third time and got told women don't really lift weights so he couldn't show me them. What the actual hell?! I kicke up a fuss and I have an appointment with someone who might be able to help on Thursday, but I'm not that hopeful, particularly as this gym seems to mainly just have weights machines.

Argh! I definitely need to do this now, so that I have muscles big enough to punch people who say this type of thing.

Yikes, that is awful. I would definitely switch gyms, if that is an option.

You know who first told me that women needed to lift weights? An aerobic instructor! We were in the middle of a class and she said, "You know ladies, this will help you lose weight, but if you want to really firm up, y'all are going to have to start lifting." Due to her influence, the weight room at our YMCA is usually populated by both genders. It's awesome.

RGreenthumb

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Yikes, that is awful. I would definitely switch gyms, if that is an option.

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Well I've paid for the year at my gym since it was a really good deal to do so. It's part of a group of local fitness centres, so I've Facebooked to ask if they have more equipment hidden at my local gym, or if they have more at any of the others, so hopefully someone will reply to that. Otherwise, I've found another gym that's pretty reasonable and offers a pay as you go option so I'll look into that a bit more. It'd be annoying to have to go to two different places, but at least I've already almost made my money back from all the classes I've been to (a couple of which I love so want to keep doing regardless of whether I like lifting or not) and a pay as you go option will at least let me test out cheaply whether I like it or not.

Who knew it would be so difficult to find somewhere to lift heavy things!

rebeccalee1986

I just want to say thank you for this thread, I have been reading endless posts about heavy lifting and was really interested in starting it. I was so nervous to go into the free weights section of the gym as it is a separate room, only men in there. I was so frightened to look stupid in front of the other gym goers. I had been considering getting a personal trainer just once so I could get him to take me in there and show me the weights, how ridiculous is that?!

Well yesterday I just could not be bothered to keep admiring the weights section, so after two failed attempts I went in the room. Guess what no one even looked at me, All that build up for nothing! Thanks for the thread it really helped me

Schirminator86

Nicely written and so true.

I started weightlifting 6 months ago and at the beginning it was a daily drag to the gym for me. Meanwhile I switched gym. My new one is a powerlifting only gym.

I have a new hobby! It is so much fun and such a big achievement when you go up in weights.