Sins of Our Parents

dicoveringwhoIam

. Really? I could make a mile long list of all the things my parents did wrong on regards to food, hoe my dad was always absent, and how my mom took diet pills all her life (which I am certain was a reason not the reason she developed stomach cancer). I could keep going. Anyhow, when do you start taking responsibility for yourself? When do you forgive your parents? When do you give your patents grace? When do you take responsibility for yourself??? NOW!! We are all adults and control what we buy and what we put into our mouths! In this day and age we have access to a plethora of information good and bad. Most of us are discerning adults and can read and do research. Start today and forgive your parents and known they did the best they could at that time with what they had. Forgiveness is good for your soul and that alone will make you feel that much lighter. In the process remember to forgive yourself and give yourself grace each day, just as we are given a clean slate each day!

red_mage

Being the child of a likely borderline or narcissistic mother (b**** was CRAZY), I'd definitely say that there was influence on my body image and how I related to food. The "junk" meals (frozen dinners, box dinners, etc.) that I cooked for myself at 8 while waiting on her to get home from work- sure, the best she could do in that situation. However, the hurtful comments ("sure, your stepdad can eat a box of ice cream bars in one sitting- he's skinny, you're not"), "girls' day out" (a weekly Saturday trip to the mall starring an unwilling red_mage and Dairy Queen blizzards for lunch), and zero chance for true parental approval led to me having issues with sugary and sweet treats for most of my life. I used to equate desserts/sweets with times my mother was actually treating me like a daughter- I weighed close to 180-190 all the way through high school.

Now she's dead, I'm doing keto (no desire for sweet treats), I'm down to the lowest weight I've been in my adult life, and I could gladly deadlift her corpse back into the grave a thousand times over.

riginthering

I think its interesting that people take a question and use it as a platform. I did say we're all adults and make our own choices, but some of us had to get to this point before those choices were actually made.

I didn't know there was anything wrong with my eating until I hit 250 a couple years after I was married. My husband didn't think it was a big deal (he likes his women with a little thick on them, and honestly never saw me as overweight, even at my heaviest). I had always been over 200, but I had always been healthy and active.

At some point, my appendix burst, and I dropped from 230 to 207 over three weeks, because I felt so ill I couldn't eat. While I was recovering from surgery and learning to walk again, I was staying with my mom (my husband couldn't deal with the bandage changing), and I realized that not only did she make kind of awful food choices, but that I couldn't physically stop myself from eating what was in front of me. It was a big awakening for me. Unfortunately, post-surgery I didn't really have the wherewithal to do anything about it.

My sister's solution to this is to always pour hot sauce on anything once she's reached her portion limit, because she hates spicy things and won't touch it afterwards. Its kind of extreme, but we both still kind of eat without being conscious of it.

happysherri

I have an overweight teen girl. She grew up doing at home workout out videos with me, going to practices to play ball when i coached an older team, riding bikes and eating junk in moderation. She's built bigger.

I can't lose weight for her. She does eat soup and salad while her girlfriends eat pizza. She tries but she's a teenager.

She has been in show choir for past 3 yrs and Loves it! They have choreography and conditioning for hours about 5-6 days a week and this lasts for about 5 months out of the year.

As a parent all i can do is supply her with knowledge, healthy choices when she's with me and positive encouragement. The rest is in her hands.

DMZ_1

It is the opposite. My mom is rather fit.

seltzermint555

eh yes and no.

I grew up in a middle class 80s Midwestern household where it was very normal to eat little to no veggies, go out to Pizza Hut and Burger King a few times a week, pack Lunchables and cans of Coke for lunch, sit inside watching TV, etc. So yeah, still kind of overcoming that. I still feel like I'm supposed to have dessert after a meal. It STILL feels weird to buy and eat so many vegetables and drink so much water, even though I've been working toward my current lifestyle for about 15 years now at age 37! I don't feel like my parents were BAD though. They were often ignorant of the proper choices. They made efforts to help me like lowfat milk, lean meat, etc. We did get exercise as a family like bike riding and swimming and just generally being out & about instead of sitting on the couch every night. My mom had disordered eating (laxative habit, way too few calories, poor nutrition) but she never passed that on to me. My dad was quite overweight for most of his life as well, so a lot of the time my weight issues were attributed to that tendency to be "big" (at age 10, I was 5'6" and around 130 lb, so proportional but enormous for my age).

Honestly I feel like my parents' supportive and encouraging attitude in all areas of life, even if sometimes overly indulgent and/or accepting of my obesity when I was a teenager (You look beautiful!) is still 100 times better than if they hadn't been so encouraging and accepting. As a result I have a positive attitude and good self-esteem. I have always loved myself. Yeah, that kept me pretty carefree when I was 260-300 lb in the past...but I'd still prefer it over being taunted or abused due to my weight. I have managed to escape many of the body image issues and confidence hurdles that many of my (even much smaller) peers have had to overcome.

ponycyndi

My mother is a die-hard "clean plate club" member. So she did force me to eat every bite on my plate before I could leave the table. Also, we never did sports or exercise. Working out was limited to her Richard Simmons videos, and doing those was an admission that you were fat.

On the other hand, my dad was "naturally" thin. So I learned that being thin was something you were born with, and dieting and exercise never made anyone thin.

Edited to add: yes these things did affect me, but I have worked past these things, along with a sh*tton of other backwards thinking I learned from my family.

ninerbuff

I had always been over 200, but I had always been healthy and active.

It's not likely for most males under 6 feet to be 200lbs to not be overweight. So not sure how you thought this was a healthy weight.

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LetChaosReign

Absolutely. My whole family is overweight... a big part of it is that our family eating habits are/were atrocious; fast food for lunch followed by Chili dogs for dinner wasn't a rare occurrence. combine that with the fact that I was never really pushed at all to be active as a child.

riginthering

It's not likely for most males under 6 feet to be 200lbs to not be overweight. So not sure how you thought this was a healthy weight.

I think it was the part where I'm 5'10", really broad-shouldered, and dancing 7 hours a week at the top of my classes, along with a sparkling clean blood panel.

ThickMcRunFast

Eh, I'm in my 30s. I have the ability to read. If I don't eat well, I can't put that on my parents. At some point, you have to take responsibility for yourself.

And yes, my mom's traditional way of making vegetables is to boil the crap out of them and then top with butter. I didn't learn great eating habits, but I'm an adult. My life is up to me.

RllyGudTweetr

Once I hit age 18, and certainly once I went off to college, any "sins of my parents" regarding my weight and activity level ceased to matter. As an adult, it became my responsibility to manage my weight in a healthy manner, and my fault when that didn't happen.

PunkyRachel

My parents are the reason I became overweight. My mom is a 3rd generation baker. So there was always cake, cookies, fudge, brownies, homemade candies, etc etc. My dad is Irish and we ate meat and potatoes all the time. Typical meal is something like Chuck roast, mash potatoes with gravy, green beans. Of course then there's my mom baked 4 cheese mac & cheese, and other pastas. My parents rarely ever had fruit available, the only veggies in cans. My mom also saved bacon grease and then fried stuff in it, or popped stove-top popcorn in the bacon grease. So yea, I was a chubby kid just like my brother and both my parents.

ninerbuff

It's not likely for most males under 6 feet to be 200lbs to not be overweight. So not sure how you thought this was a healthy weight.

I think it was the part where I'm 5'10", really broad-shouldered, and dancing 7 hours a week at the top of my classes, along with a sparkling clean blood panel.

Even then a 5'10" male with broad shoulders tipping the scales at 180lb would be above average. And we're talking weight here, not your activity level or blood profiles. Weight is the NUMBER 1 risk factor for health issues. So again confused at how you thought that 200lbs was a normal weight for a female under 6 feet tall.

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IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

QuietBloom

I am thankful that both my parents are naturally slim. They always made us taste our food, and if we really didn't like it, we could have a pb&j. Neither my sister or I are picky eaters to this day. And we never had to clean our plates. To this day, it doesn't seem right to me unless I have food left on my plate!

seltzermint555

It's not likely for most males under 6 feet to be 200lbs to not be overweight. So not sure how you thought this was a healthy weight.

I think it was the part where I'm 5'10", really broad-shouldered, and dancing 7 hours a week at the top of my classes, along with a sparkling clean blood panel.

Even then a 5'10" male with broad shoulders tipping the scales at 180lb would be above average. And we're talking weight here, not your activity level or blood profiles. Weight is the NUMBER 1 risk factor for health issues. So again confused at how you thought that 200lbs was a normal weight for a female under 6 feet tall.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Ugh just leave her alone wouldya?!?

_SABOTEUR_

I think the excuse falls flat when you're about 16.

Ed98043

Eh, I'm in my 30s. I have the ability to read. If I don't eat well, I can't put that on my parents. At some point, you have to take responsibility for yourself.

And yes, my mom's traditional way of making vegetables is to boil the crap out of them and then top with butter. I didn't learn great eating habits, but I'm an adult. My life is up to me.

Agreed. Once you're old enough to know that too much food makes you fat, your weight is your own responsibility. My mom has always been overweight and I suppose I got some of those genes - but it's my hands, not hers, putting food into my mouth.

DavPul

.......So. We all make our own choices, we're all adults, blah blah blah. But underneath all of that, is there some part of you that is still dealing with how you were raised?

NO

DavPul

.......So. We all make our own choices, we're all adults, blah blah blah. But underneath all of that, is there some part of you that is still dealing with how you were raised?

NO

agreed. because