How do you know it is time to settle down?
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I was told by someone (after I was married) that you should marry the person you can't live without not the person you can live with. Wish I was told that before I got married.0
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He will? I think he did in his own way.She will tell you when.0 -
I think it differs from person to person. I think a person who is an over thinker may know in a different way than some one who just rolls with the waves.
For me, it was the person at the beginning of our relationship I didn't see it blossoming further than "fun while it lasted". That transformed into "dang, he is pretty awesome", to "ah dang I love this dude" all the way to " I am going to marry this guy and torture him for the rest of his life".
I think the moment I realized that he was the one to settle down with was when I realized that no matter how much he pisses me off or no matter how much I wanted to shoot him in the foot, I was willing to work through it. That I was willing to compromise, and so was he, on certain things to take our relationship further and better it. I didn't know what exactly my future held, but I could see him in mine, getting married, having children, living every moment together like it was our last.0 -
wow quite a few beautiful answers! thank you very much.
The thing is "I just know" I want him for the rest of my life and he has said the same thing, we talk about growing old together and some other romantic silly stuff that come with time, even children which turn to be a joke because none of us like to change diapers...
I just ask because I was the type of guy who used to say would be single until his mid 30s and just **** whomever I wanted, but it all changed some time ago, and now that I have my partner I just picture Us in every situation (And position for those sexaholics out there).0 -
wow quite a few beautiful answers! thank you very much.
The thing is "I just know" I want him for the rest of my life and he has said the same thing, we talk about growing old together and some other romantic silly stuff that come with time, even children which turn to be a joke because none of us like to change diapers...
I just ask because I was the type of guy who used to say would be single until his mid 30s and just **** whomever I wanted, but it all changed some time ago, and now that I have my partner I just picture Us in every situation (And position for those sexaholics out there).
Awww, that is super sweet! Are you going to do anything about it?0 -
wow quite a few beautiful answers! thank you very much.
The thing is "I just know" I want him for the rest of my life and he has said the same thing, we talk about growing old together and some other romantic silly stuff that come with time, even children which turn to be a joke because none of us like to change diapers...
I just ask because I was the type of guy who used to say would be single until his mid 30s and just **** whomever I wanted, but it all changed some time ago, and now that I have my partner I just picture Us in every situation (And position for those sexaholics out there).
Thank you for your honesty and frankness. We need more of that. My son (25) is gay and has a wonderful partner unfortunately for them marriage isn't possible where we live. Soooo sad.0 -
wow quite a few beautiful answers! thank you very much.
The thing is "I just know" I want him for the rest of my life and he has said the same thing, we talk about growing old together and some other romantic silly stuff that come with time, even children which turn to be a joke because none of us like to change diapers...
I just ask because I was the type of guy who used to say would be single until his mid 30s and just **** whomever I wanted, but it all changed some time ago, and now that I have my partner I just picture Us in every situation (And position for those sexaholics out there).
Thank you for your honesty and frankness. We need more of that. My son (25) is gay and has a wonderful partner unfortunately for them marriage isn't possible where we live. Soooo sad.
Here we are allowed to have a "Civil Partnership" which pretty much is "the same" [rights are almost 90% the same, we are not allowed to use surrogacy though...] I would like it, I haven't asked him, because if I ask I would like to do it with a big Flashmob Musical Number (which takes time).0 -
wow quite a few beautiful answers! thank you very much.
The thing is "I just know" I want him for the rest of my life and he has said the same thing, we talk about growing old together and some other romantic silly stuff that come with time, even children which turn to be a joke because none of us like to change diapers...
I just ask because I was the type of guy who used to say would be single until his mid 30s and just **** whomever I wanted, but it all changed some time ago, and now that I have my partner I just picture Us in every situation (And position for those sexaholics out there).
I guess there can be people that come along that totally flip your direction around
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It's interesting that everyone assumes "settle down" = "getting married".
I know plenty of people I'd say have "settled down" but who aren't married (or permanently partnered up) on the other hand even if I do one day marry I hope it won't involve "settling down".
Settling down doesn't equal settling.0 -
take it from someone who never thought they would get married or have kids.....when you find someone worth it, you will do it......the best way to put it is you don't know until you know
^^THIS!
Never ever thought I would get married again. We talked on our first date about how we were never getting married again, lol. He proposed 3 months later. . . you just know!!0 -
so it is not too soon if we have been together 2 months? great! whomever may see us would say we have been together for yearstake it from someone who never thought they would get married or have kids.....when you find someone worth it, you will do it......the best way to put it is you don't know until you know
^^THIS!
Never ever thought I would get married again. We talked on our first date about how we were never getting married again, lol. He proposed 3 months later. . . you just know!!0 -
so it is not too soon if we have been together 2 months? great! whomever may see us would say we have been together for yearstake it from someone who never thought they would get married or have kids.....when you find someone worth it, you will do it......the best way to put it is you don't know until you know
^^THIS!
Never ever thought I would get married again. We talked on our first date about how we were never getting married again, lol. He proposed 3 months later. . . you just know!!
I married my husband after knowing him 6 months. I never thought I'd want to be married or have children. I got pregnant unexpectedly and we were like "let's do this". I wasn't 100% sure, but I don't think I would have been 100% with anyone. We've been married 5 years now and are pretty awesome together.0 -
You work with your own timeline. I dropped the big L word at 3 weeks, about a month in to it, I knew I would spend the rest of my life with him. . . the proposal came after about 2 months of him dropping hints that he was "making plans". Everyone thought we were crazy, but when you know you know. We had both been with the wrong people before.
Do not let anyone tell you that its too soon, or your are rushing it. When you know, you know. When its meant to be forever, you can start forever right now!
We have waited 18 month to get married (because even my 15 yr old said we were rushing it), but I would have married him the next day, we are 6 weeks away, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him.0 -
wow quite a few beautiful answers! thank you very much.
The thing is "I just know" I want him for the rest of my life and he has said the same thing, we talk about growing old together and some other romantic silly stuff that come with time, even children which turn to be a joke because none of us like to change diapers...
I just ask because I was the type of guy who used to say would be single until his mid 30s and just **** whomever I wanted, but it all changed some time ago, and now that I have my partner I just picture Us in every situation (And position for those sexaholics out there).
That's pretty great. Sounds like you found the one. And hey, if you don't wanna change diapers, you can adopt a slightly older child who is already potty trained! My son and his bf have talked about having kids and are debating whether to try to have a biological or adopt. Years in the future for now, so they have time to figure it out.0 -
omg! so excited for you gorgeusYou work with your own timeline. I dropped the big L word at 3 weeks, about a month in to it, I knew I would spend the rest of my life with him. . . the proposal came after about 2 months of him dropping hints that he was "making plans". Everyone thought we were crazy, but when you know you know. We had both been with the wrong people before.
Do not let anyone tell you that its too soon, or your are rushing it. When you know, you know. When its meant to be forever, you can start forever right now!
We have waited 18 month to get married (because even my 15 yr old said we were rushing it), but I would have married him the next day, we are 6 weeks away, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him.
you will look amazing in that dress 0 -
Oh yeah if we have babies they come in 10 yearswow quite a few beautiful answers! thank you very much.
The thing is "I just know" I want him for the rest of my life and he has said the same thing, we talk about growing old together and some other romantic silly stuff that come with time, even children which turn to be a joke because none of us like to change diapers...
I just ask because I was the type of guy who used to say would be single until his mid 30s and just **** whomever I wanted, but it all changed some time ago, and now that I have my partner I just picture Us in every situation (And position for those sexaholics out there).
That's pretty great. Sounds like you found the one. And hey, if you don't wanna change diapers, you can adopt a slightly older child who is already potty trained! My son and his bf have talked about having kids and are debating whether to try to have a biological or adopt. Years in the future for now, so they have time to figure it out.
maybe then it will be possible to have an engineered baby with both or DNA's if not, we would ask his sister for an egg. 0 -
Oh yeah if we have babies they come in 10 yearswow quite a few beautiful answers! thank you very much.
The thing is "I just know" I want him for the rest of my life and he has said the same thing, we talk about growing old together and some other romantic silly stuff that come with time, even children which turn to be a joke because none of us like to change diapers...
I just ask because I was the type of guy who used to say would be single until his mid 30s and just **** whomever I wanted, but it all changed some time ago, and now that I have my partner I just picture Us in every situation (And position for those sexaholics out there).
That's pretty great. Sounds like you found the one. And hey, if you don't wanna change diapers, you can adopt a slightly older child who is already potty trained! My son and his bf have talked about having kids and are debating whether to try to have a biological or adopt. Years in the future for now, so they have time to figure it out. maybe then it will be possible to have an engineered baby with both or DNA's if not, we would ask his sister for an egg.
:flowerforyou: good idea!0 -
You don't know.... you live & learn and just go with what you want0
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When you don't want to have any more adventures.0
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I didn't know it was time, honestly. But I knew I felt differently about my husband, than all the others that came before him and felt like if I was going to make it work with anyone, it would be him. I was 27 at the time and lived been on my own enough and been in enough "this isn't going to work" relationships to know what I needed and what I didn't. Husband fit those requirements, so I jumped.
Didn't you mention in another thread that you got pregnant and then decided to get married? I'm sure this had to have at least a little influence in your decision to settle down.
As the other half of the story, I am going to go ahead and say that it didn't. We both had the option of either settling down with each other, or going our separate ways. We chose the former because we genuinely liked and loved one another. She didn't settle for me because she needed someone to help her, and I didn't settle for her out of some sense of obligation.
Always remember that when you assume, you end up making an a** out of you... but not me.0
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