My boyfriend not supporting me--

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Replies

  • hararayne
    hararayne Posts: 261 Member
    OP never came back ….

    level 2 troll alert...

    2nd that.
  • donald149
    donald149 Posts: 211 Member
    It's necessary to know that not everyone will follow your vision. The more you listen to others, the more you'll doubt yourself. You have to know within your mind that you must accomplish this even if others don't believe. You can't concern yourself with others because this is for you. Congrats on the progress you've made so far...
  • potatovine
    potatovine Posts: 21
    Your money, you do with it as you please.
    Maybe that is a bit simplistic but its how I see it.
    I have personally lived with my partner for 8 years. We have our own money. Yes I do the shopping for the whole house but we both put in. I get what I want, he also adds to the list of things I don't want or need. It all works out in the wash.
  • embaudin
    embaudin Posts: 45 Member
    OP never came back ….

    level 2 troll alert...

    2nd that.

    Am a newbie when it comes to message board abbreviations.... 'OP' is original poster yes?
  • j67867
    j67867 Posts: 27
    You need to sit down with him and tell him what is on your mind.Motivation relies heavily upon the people you surround yourself with.It makes a huge difference to you emotionally .It's not necessary to see eye to eye on everything but mutual respect in a relationship is needed for each other interests and passions for it to work.And good communication is paramount.
  • sloth3toes
    sloth3toes Posts: 2,212 Member
    Are you spending your money on Shakeology or something?

    Just popped in to see how many people told her to just break up. Then found your response. Inquiring minds wanna know.
  • hstoblish
    hstoblish Posts: 234 Member
    Having shared priorities is key to making a relationship work over the long term.

    Hubs and I have an agreement that putting money into our health and fitness is a priority. If we can't afford those thing, then we need to make cute elsewhere.

    So, a couple of suggestions:

    Don't share money until you guys are ready. And by ready, I mean until you have developed a good set of shared financial priorities.

    And maybe not even then. Some couples work best if they have a shared fun savings account, but split their incomes and each contribute equally to the household expenses. Others share everything. Others still have a shared chequing but separate visas and savings if they have different savings goals. There is no one right way to deal with this and don't let anyone try to tell you that there is. You guys make the rules.

    The other thing is this: if you're doing all the food prep, purchasing etc., then he has to deal with the fact that if you're doing the work, he doesn't get as much as a vote if you weren't doing it together.

    Also - prepared meals and unhealthy stuff tends to be more expensive than you might think, so I'd suggest that you go out to a store together and each of you load up on what you think is a week's worth of groceries, then run it all through the till. See what's actually more expensive and by how much.

    Here's the thing, if you're letting good foods go bad, you're wasting money. If you're buying packaged food that is labelled as "healthy" or whatever, you're wasting money. Buy fresh, buy as close to the store as possible and you'll probably spending less, but even if you're not, calorie for calorie you're getting more nutrients.

    (PS - I found that as soon as my husband moved in with me and we started splitting food costs 50/50, my food bill went up by about 150%, no exaggeration, just due to the fact that he ate meat and more than twice as much as me.)
  • hararayne
    hararayne Posts: 261 Member
    OP never came back ….

    level 2 troll alert...

    2nd that.

    Am a newbie when it comes to message board abbreviations.... 'OP' is original poster yes?

    yep

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