How to overcome "all or nothing" thinking with food?
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What matters is: calories in and calories burned. As long as you use the energy you consume, you wont gain weight. I find that 1 slice of pizza/cake is okay on the scale, but the cravings kick in. For me it's easier to stay away from these than to limit myself to a single serving.
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I can relate 100%! I was just like this for years and years.
I started doing intermittent fasting and IIFYM (if it fits your macros) for me it made me realize that if I eat something deemed "bad" it doesn't actually mean I have ruined my day. I can still fit my macros and my calories.
Maybe google and read a bit about it. You can do IIFYM without fasting. For me it just means I can eat a bigger meal which I like.
And stop beating yourself up! 0 -
I would take all the other peoples suggestions. I have done such things as preplan the "bad" meal ahead of time so that I make room for it. Or make room for it by exercising more. My biggest thing I try to do is that realize that for me I will be over on the days I work and don't exercise. I just try to watch how far over. I don't always succeed because I don't do well when free food is offered and it is good food. Or if there is any sweets around.
Right now at our house I am having trouble with the fact that my favorite snack foods are in the house. But once those are gone, it will get easier. I do try and do extra good on my days at home because I control the food and have access to exercise.0 -
I agree that logging every bite works. If you pig out, record it anyway, and then adjust over the next few days.
Also, and I'm not joking here, eat with skinny people. Order what they order and stop eating when they do. For instance, I learned from one skinny friend how to eat salad dressing. She orders it on the side and dips her fork in it before digging into the salad for each bite. So the first taste in each bit is the salad dressing, but there is actually very little on the fork, and she seldom eats more than a teaspoon of dressing with the salad.
And motivation -- I've finally gotten into the habit of reminding myself how much my knees hurt before I order. If I lose weight my knees won't hurt as much.0 -
I'm also an all or nothing person
I'm learning to deal with it in this way: If you do eat a high calorie meal or food log it instantly. Have a look at how many calories were actually in it, and how many calories you have left to play with. Chances are that one or two slices of pizza will still leave you room for dinner.
This is a way to mentally switch the black and white/perfectionist thinking you have about high calorie 'bad' foods and lower calorie 'good' foods to one where you focus on staying within budget or at least avoiding heavy calorie debt.0 -
Forbid yourself the foods that cause you to binge for long enough to build new habits (for me, that's 3 months), then gradually reintroduce them in moderation.0
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Try planning ahead of time. It works for me. I have the same problem as you, and even with planning, I fall off the wagon too sometimes. When that happens, I just tell myself that everyday is a new day and just start over again. I'm serious about the planning a day before though. Before I go to sleep or when I'm eating dinner, I will plan out the next days meals and snacks and have the ready. That way, even if I'm offered something, I will know to say no as to not go over my daily limit.0
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Hmm... Not to preAch, but u dhould try doing IF... That way if you only ate dinner you would be able to hold ur cals for one meal and eat that zza or chocolate in moderation. I have the same mindset and weakness as yu so i do a 22:2 IF. I fast for 22 hours and 2 hours of eating ! U jst find ur min cal intake and eat that in 2 hour window or howver u choose to use IF. Plus its great to work out fasted! Just a thought. Only thing that has ever wrked for me!0
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I'm having some success overcoming it by realizing it's lazy and convenient for me to think this way. I used to label myself a perfectionist and a 'black or white' thinker but look how many benefits that gives me (in the eating dept.)? All I have to do to have carte blanche for a whole day is have one tiny slip-up.
Watch people who manage their weight intuitively. They don't skip the pizza entirely and they don't let one slice trigger a day long free-for-all. They live in the gray area, like our bodies do. A slice of pizza is rarely any disaster, but our reaction to it can make it one, and that's rather handy for the part of our mind that wants to eat without considering the consequences.0 -
Lots of great information here. This is something I struggle with almost everyday. Once I got a few months of tracking under my belt, I've been able to see how letting loose every now and then won't hurt long term progress. It's when you fall out of saddle for weeks and months on end that you'll run into trouble.
Good luck!0 -
I haven't read the other posts so sorry if I end up repeating what someone else said...do not deprive yourself of any food!! For me, if I tell myself I absolutely will NOT eat pizza, eventually I am going to binge on pizza. Instead, I plan my higher calorie meals for the days I know I am going to the gym. I never eat back all the calories I burn, but I do burn enough that I can enjoy some "junk" food. For example, every Sunday my dad makes breakfast and we all go over and eat as a family. His breakfasts usually include french toast, eggs, bacon, and sausage. By the end I end up eating around 1000 in one meal. When I went to the gym yesterday, I burned 600 calories. I still enjoyed by father's breakfast and was still under my calories Planning ahead is the key!! Once you've been doing it for a while, look for lower calorie recipes for your favorite foods 0
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So I eat a slice and think "well, I blew it for today"
That right there is your problem. Thinking that because you had one slice of pizza meant that you "blew it" for the day and therefore you figured "Well heck. Since I blew it on that slice, might as well just gorge myself because there's no recovering from that" and that isn't true. Pizza isn't bad for you and one slice -- heck even two slices -- wouldn't have killed you. We all have those foods where when we eat them we think we "blew it" but you need to just shake it off, record the food you ate, and do better on your next meal.0 -
What if, instead of looking at your calories daily, you take them weekly? Just make sure by the end of the week, your average daily intake hits your goal. That way, even if you go over one day, you'll have the rest of the week to burn some extra calories or eat a little less and still make your weekly goal. This might help you to stop seeing a piece of pizza as a failure which may help you not to give up.0
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In, wanna come back to this one....0
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Failing isn't failing. Not adjusting is failing. You eat more pizza than you wanted, eh? How real cares. Eat less of something else later. Or maybe an extra work out.
Is possible for you to not catastrophize it as mush? If you feel like it is an OMG moment, your reaction will be much greater and more punishing. If you just take it in stride, you can adjust more easily.
3 slices of pizza never got someone overweight. Not having a healthy approach to food does.
Best!0 -
BUMPING to hear this advice....i need it!0
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OP,
Imagine if I kidnapped you and locked you up in my basement (bear with me here...) I feed you nothing but stale bread and murky water for weeks on end. Then one day you are liberated and I am thrown in jail (boooooo!)
What would you go out and eat and in what quantities?
The jailer in reality is yourself and you have put yourself in a mental prison. Every time you think about food you run through that scenario. Feelings of deprivation and loss of freedom of choice decimates willpower. You have set yourself up to fail.
Let go of your idea of absolute success and you let go of your idea of absolute failure. What you have to understand is that if you make consistently good choices a slip up here or there doesn't matter.
There are many ways of getting round this but considering we are on a calorie counting site I would recommend: planning what you are going to eat consciously, letting go of the idea of "good" and "bad" food and leaving some wiggle room to factor in some "treats".0 -
Hi
I am by no means an expert ...and I struggle so much with food and this mindset!
So for 2014, I am changing the way I do things.
There are some real bright sparks on here, who have subconsciously changed my approach to weight loss and exercise.
This year, I actually started Dec19th (!)....I am determined to go to the gym every alternate day.....believe me, that is a feat, as I thought I hated the gym!
But, I was wrong! I love the feeling a gym session gives me! More energy, less feeling low mood !
4 weeks in and I like the gym!
So..I hear you ask, what has this got to do with the post, the all or nothing with food!
Well, I have noticed that I don't want to put just anything in, when I've spent an hour working myself really hard at the gym!
I like that there are muscles under the flab... And I want it to continue!
When the gym becomes a habit for me......I'm having to coax myself to get there sometimes..and have to dig deep to remember how good it makes me feel!...I will go into the kitchen and make my abs, if I've not done it by then!
So, I hope this can help you to try to overcome this "ok, diet spoilt today,I may as well have......." Maybe give my approach a go....break yor goals and desires down into more manageable bits! Change your focus, like I have from food to exercise!0 -
Think of it this way, when you get one flat tire do you go around poking holes in the other three? No, you try to fix it and keep going. So whenever you eat the unplanned X amounts of pizza, cookies..etc. you have the choice to stop and eat right for the rest of the day. And btw eating two-three slices of pizza is definitely NOT the end of the world, just enjoy them and move on!0
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One slice of pizza would not ruin one's day. I would suggest you do some research and read the introduction forums to understand the macros, especially carbs, protein, and fat. You can customize these in the settings as you learn more about them because I personally think MFP sets the protein way too low. I have mine set at 40 % carbs, 30% protein, and 30% fat. None of these is the enemy and there are no good or bad foods. Eating more than you burn is what causes you to gain weight. Your body needs carbs for energy, protein for muscle maintenance and yes it needs fat too.
Also, most people do not need to eat 1200 calories to lose weight. I can't see your diary or your goals so I don't know what your daily intake is so I can't give more detailed suggestions. From your ticker it looks like you only have 20 lbs to lose so you should only be trying to lose 1 lb a week at most, 1/2 lb is probably better. This will allow you to eat more and thus help you overcome the "all or nothing" concept with food.
Weigh all your food on a food scale and measure all of your liquids. Measuring cups and spoons are not accurate for solid food. And log everything, even if you have a bad day. We all have bad days, but they are just a day. We all have bad meals, just let it be a meal. Heck I had rice crispy treats for breakfast but I will make it up with lunch and dinner, it's not a big deal. I just think about it as I need to get a lot of protein for the rest of the day so I need to adjust.
This is a lifestyle change, not a diet so while you are eating at a deficit you want to develop healthy habits that you can maintain once the weight is gone. Start thinking about it like that or the weight will come back on. This is a marathon not a race. Good luck.0 -
I'm working on healing my mindset when it comes to perfection. Only a few weeks in and I've had some bumps in the road but I am like you and super tempted at lunch! I am a social eater and who doesn't want to leave the office? I've found that if I bring more nutritious alternatives to typical lunch fare, I am fine staying at the office with a good book. So I'll bring a whole wheat pita pizza that I made. Today, I actually have 2 bean burritos, with fresh made refried beans and whole wheat tortillas and a sparkling water. Try a good ol sandwich and some baked chips (the baked kettle brand is SO GOOD and still real potatoes, not that weird stuff like baked doritos) or make a stir fry with a spicy peanut sauce. Rachel Ray has a great recipe. Hope this helps! And now I'm putting that stir fry on my grocery list lol.0
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One suggestion is to plan out your day's menu and log it. Knowing that you have a plan may help you stick to it. I try to "write it BEFORE I bite it" so I know in advance how much damage I'm doing if I indulge.0
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OP,
Imagine if I kidnapped you and locked you up in my basement (bear with me here...) I feed you nothing but stale bread and murky water for weeks on end. Then one day you are liberated and I am thrown in jail (boooooo!)
What would you go out and eat and in what quantities?
The jailer in reality is yourself and you have put yourself in a mental prison. Every time you think about food you run through that scenario. Feelings of deprivation and loss of freedom of choice decimates willpower. You have set yourself up to fail.
Let go of your idea of absolute success and you let go of your idea of absolute failure. What you have to understand is that if you make consistently good choices a slip up here or there doesn't matter.
There are many ways of getting round this but considering we are on a calorie counting site I would recommend: planning what you are going to eat consciously, letting go of the idea of "good" and "bad" food and leaving some wiggle room to factor in some "treats".
^^THIS is good!!! :flowerforyou:0 -
William Shakespeare.
"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so"0 -
Well you say you eat a "healthy" breakfast. I assume that means fairly large. I'd cut back there and eat a light breakfast with a light snack later on. Now--you're weakness is pizza which is difficult to weigh and estimate calories. Weigh pieces of pizza at home so you can eyeball acurately at work--you don't know how many calories you're really eating there. Do a little homework weighing things people usually bring in and tempt you with at home. When you see this stuff coming you will know how much you can allow yourself. For your evening meal cut back and have some soup or grilled chicken breast. Now--are you excercising? On days that you have a treat or two plan on working it off. Even an hours walk will help. I love this site because it's given me back control of my food and my life. I used to be anxious around the holidays with all the treats and rich food. This year I calmly worked it in to my macros and I ate special things, went for long walks and didn't gain an ounce. I am now in the drivers seat. You can be too. Just take it slow and calm and see how your body works. Try new things. If you follow the threads you'll learn alot. Good luck--and NEVER give up.0
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One suggestion is to plan out your day's menu and log it. Knowing that you have a plan may help you stick to it. I try to "write it BEFORE I bite it" so I know in advance how much damage I'm doing if I indulge.
This is good advice but I would add to it.
When you overindulge don't beat yourself up about it. If it's done, it's done. If your food is planned out in advance, add in the extras you've had. Then look at the rest of the day and see where you might be able to save a few calories such as substitute more veg for dinner instead of potatoes or rice or delete the dessert you were going to have.
Remember that if you are set for a 2lb a week loss, your goal is 1000 calories below what you need to maintain. If you can stay only 500 calories above your target, you're still on target to lose weight.
Another way to make up some of the difference is to try to add in a bit more exercise.
Don't sweat it. If you get all upset about it, you won't want continue with your programme because it because it makes you feel bad. Just minimise the damage and carry on!
Good luck! :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm the same, sometimes. Like last night - I eat 1 piece chocolate, then 2 second and I was like "I blew it, today" then I got two cookies and more sweets.0
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For example, I will start off with a healthy breakfast, and then I get offered pizza for lunch. Food is my weakness, I can't turn down pizza! So I eat a slice and think "well, I blew it for today" and end up eating 3 more slices, a cupcake, chips, french fries, whatever else! It is so hard to maintain a healthy weight when I am constantly thinking like that. I know I can't be the only one, is there anyone else who can help me understand this and how to get over it? What can I say to myself again? I did weight watchers about two years ago and lost 30 pounds, it really did teach me how to eat right, but I had to stop because it got expensive so I have been using myfitnesspal to track my food, but I have gained about 10-15 pounds back since stopping weight watchers (about 5 months ago) because I keep thinking like this. I had the same all or nothing thinking while on weight watchers, but I always pulled it together the next day and would keep it up for a few weeks and maybe have one bad day, but now it seems like this is every day. I wake up, have a healthy breakfast, and then I blow it by lunch. Can anyone give me advice? What else can I say to myself so I can "recover" on the next meal (it is very hard for me to do, because I will track it and I ended up going way over my calories on the "bad" meal and then I just feel like I failed.) I just need some advice and support!!!
Are you kidding me?
Pizza provides nourishment for your body. Where did you get the idea that it isn't? I eat pizza on a regular basis. There is no such thing as "healthy" or "unhealthy" food items, individually. It's your diet as a whole that is either healthy or unhealthy. And you claim that if you have one slice, then it will cause to to mentally justify a big sugar binge? It sounds like your problem is entirely mental. When I want pizza, I eat pizza. I will generally eat 400-700 calories of it, depending on the rest of my intake for that day. But enjoying food is not justification to pig out.
Tough love:
Create a top ten list of what you find to be your "weakness," learn the macronutrient and caloric content of each, then plan a week of meals around those items and ENJOY them. If you can't do that, then you may want to seek a counselor or someone who specializes in eating disorders.0 -
I sometimes think I struggle with food addiction, because I feel the same way and have often done the same things. I've tried to focus that addictive behavior on logging my food faithfully and if I decide to splurge, I do it at dinner time. Since it's the end of the day, I feel like I am less likely to pig out and I can also reflect on the day's progress - if I've exercised, I decide it's not worth it to ruin all that work. Sometimes that means drinking water to be full, LOL.0
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My mantras when I first started:
1) "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."
2) "You're eating to live now--not living to eat."
Those are exactly the type of phrases that prevented me from even trying. First, "skinny" really sucks compared to things like pizza and chocolate, and being skinny has never been a goal for me -- and never will. Second, yes, you will die without food, but there's no penalty for feeling pleasure as you nourish your body.
Keeping a food diary is your evidence to yourself that you can please your palate every day while properly nourishing your body. Think, plan, log. Repeat.0
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