Stop Making Excuses, Start Making Choices
Desterknee
Posts: 1,056 Member
I am posting an old blog of mine here for the community. Changing my mindset in this way has helped me immensely and it may help you too. I re-read it this morning because I needed to be reminded that I am the only person in control of my actions. I have to make the right choices.
Please note, injury, illness, and disability do not fall under the umbrella of excuses.
Stop Making Excuses, Start Making Choices (Edit Post)
Posted on 1/28/2013 by Desterknee
In order to make better choices, we first have to realize that with everything we do, we make a choice. There are so few, very extreme, circumstances in which we are forced to do something against our will. You got up to go to work today? You made a choice to do so. You fed your children breakfast? You made a choice to do so. You took a shower this morning? You made a choice to do so. We've conditioned ourselves to think these are things we have to do, and in a way they are, but we still have the choice not to do them.
There is an undeniable power in one's mindset. Mindset changes everything. The language of excuses implies a powerlessness in the speaker.
"I can't do this."
"I couldn't do that."
"X stopped me from doing this."
"Y won't let me do that."
Do you want to be powerless or do you want to be in control of what happens in your life? Change your mindset. Change your language. Who sounds more in control?
Person A: "I couldn't work out because I had to visit my relative in the hospital."
or
Person B: "I decided visiting my sick relative was more important than today's work out."
Both people are doing the same thing: skipping a workout in favor of visiting a sick relative. However, their mindset about the situation is completely different. You may say it's just semantics, you may say it makes no difference but there is a huge difference. It's the language of someone who is consciously making decisions versus a victim of circumstance. Let's look at a few more examples:
Person A: "I had to get fast food for the kids last night because after karate practice we were all so tired and I had to get the kids to bed."
Person B: "I chose to get fast food last night because I decided that convenience and getting the kids to bed on time was more important than a home cooked meal."
Person A: "I can't work out tonight because I have to spend time with my wife/husband/GF/BF since we don't get much time together."
Person B: "I decided that caring for my relationship takes priority over my work out tonight."
Person A: "I can't join a gym because I am too scared of people." <
(totally me, BTW)
Person B: "I am choosing to stay in my emotional comfort zone because I've decided it's not a priority to challenge myself in ways that are not physical."
Person A: "I can't 'eat healthy' because it's too expensive."
Person B: "I've decided not to change my eating habits because I don't want to put the time or effort in researching how to do it in an affordable way."
I hope you see where I am going with this. Person A is going to have a harder time making better choices because Person A does not feel that he is making choices at all. Person B on the other hand understands that he is always making choices and is able to better assess the situation at hand, and see where his priorities lie by looking at the choices he's made. Person A will probably be quicker to complain about his lack of progress. Person B may also complain but understands that it's in his power to change the decisions he is making. Things always happen to Person A. Person B makes things happen by his choices. Like I said, mindset changes everything.
Once we start recognizing that we have a choice in everything we do, we can start changing our choices. We are better equipped to analyze our situations.
"I couldn't work out tonight, the season finale of my favorite show was on."
"I decided that a television show has priority over my body."
Now that we've changed the language we can better analyze the situation: Is that TV show really more important than taking care of my body? How important is it to watch this show as it airs? What will be more easy, watching the re-run or fitting in a make-up work out where there isn't usually one?
We also have to remember to test ourselves and make sure we are being honest about how we view our choices. I'll use a real example I've dealt with lately. I'm not a tidy person, and neither is my boyfriend, so cleaning would sometimes interfere with my ability to work out.
So at first it was:
"I can't work out tonight because I have to clean."
Then it became:
"I've decided that it's a higher priority to clean my home than to improve my body."
I was happy thinking I wasn't making excuses. Then came a day when I was badly in need of a work out, and my apartment was a freaking mess. This time I chose to work out because my brain desperately needed it. So I didn't clean and I worked out. Then, I cleaned after the work out. As it turns out, I had been lying to myself the whole time when I thought I had to choose between the two. When I chose to clean first, by the time I was done I had no energy for working out. After working out I had extra energy to clean and did an overall better job of cleaning. The point of this anecdote is to show that sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking we have to choose at all. Now I won't ever think I have to choose between the two. I debunked my own excuse. I WIN.
This is how we come to make better choices by changing our mindset.
Own your actions. Own your choices. Own your body.
Please note, injury, illness, and disability do not fall under the umbrella of excuses.
Stop Making Excuses, Start Making Choices (Edit Post)
Posted on 1/28/2013 by Desterknee
In order to make better choices, we first have to realize that with everything we do, we make a choice. There are so few, very extreme, circumstances in which we are forced to do something against our will. You got up to go to work today? You made a choice to do so. You fed your children breakfast? You made a choice to do so. You took a shower this morning? You made a choice to do so. We've conditioned ourselves to think these are things we have to do, and in a way they are, but we still have the choice not to do them.
There is an undeniable power in one's mindset. Mindset changes everything. The language of excuses implies a powerlessness in the speaker.
"I can't do this."
"I couldn't do that."
"X stopped me from doing this."
"Y won't let me do that."
Do you want to be powerless or do you want to be in control of what happens in your life? Change your mindset. Change your language. Who sounds more in control?
Person A: "I couldn't work out because I had to visit my relative in the hospital."
or
Person B: "I decided visiting my sick relative was more important than today's work out."
Both people are doing the same thing: skipping a workout in favor of visiting a sick relative. However, their mindset about the situation is completely different. You may say it's just semantics, you may say it makes no difference but there is a huge difference. It's the language of someone who is consciously making decisions versus a victim of circumstance. Let's look at a few more examples:
Person A: "I had to get fast food for the kids last night because after karate practice we were all so tired and I had to get the kids to bed."
Person B: "I chose to get fast food last night because I decided that convenience and getting the kids to bed on time was more important than a home cooked meal."
Person A: "I can't work out tonight because I have to spend time with my wife/husband/GF/BF since we don't get much time together."
Person B: "I decided that caring for my relationship takes priority over my work out tonight."
Person A: "I can't join a gym because I am too scared of people." <
(totally me, BTW)
Person B: "I am choosing to stay in my emotional comfort zone because I've decided it's not a priority to challenge myself in ways that are not physical."
Person A: "I can't 'eat healthy' because it's too expensive."
Person B: "I've decided not to change my eating habits because I don't want to put the time or effort in researching how to do it in an affordable way."
I hope you see where I am going with this. Person A is going to have a harder time making better choices because Person A does not feel that he is making choices at all. Person B on the other hand understands that he is always making choices and is able to better assess the situation at hand, and see where his priorities lie by looking at the choices he's made. Person A will probably be quicker to complain about his lack of progress. Person B may also complain but understands that it's in his power to change the decisions he is making. Things always happen to Person A. Person B makes things happen by his choices. Like I said, mindset changes everything.
Once we start recognizing that we have a choice in everything we do, we can start changing our choices. We are better equipped to analyze our situations.
"I couldn't work out tonight, the season finale of my favorite show was on."
"I decided that a television show has priority over my body."
Now that we've changed the language we can better analyze the situation: Is that TV show really more important than taking care of my body? How important is it to watch this show as it airs? What will be more easy, watching the re-run or fitting in a make-up work out where there isn't usually one?
We also have to remember to test ourselves and make sure we are being honest about how we view our choices. I'll use a real example I've dealt with lately. I'm not a tidy person, and neither is my boyfriend, so cleaning would sometimes interfere with my ability to work out.
So at first it was:
"I can't work out tonight because I have to clean."
Then it became:
"I've decided that it's a higher priority to clean my home than to improve my body."
I was happy thinking I wasn't making excuses. Then came a day when I was badly in need of a work out, and my apartment was a freaking mess. This time I chose to work out because my brain desperately needed it. So I didn't clean and I worked out. Then, I cleaned after the work out. As it turns out, I had been lying to myself the whole time when I thought I had to choose between the two. When I chose to clean first, by the time I was done I had no energy for working out. After working out I had extra energy to clean and did an overall better job of cleaning. The point of this anecdote is to show that sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking we have to choose at all. Now I won't ever think I have to choose between the two. I debunked my own excuse. I WIN.
This is how we come to make better choices by changing our mindset.
Own your actions. Own your choices. Own your body.
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Replies
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Love this! A great reminder that we are in control of our thoughts and emotions. Mindset is everything.0
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Love.0
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Hells yeah.
Like last night I decided I had to go to the gym no matter what and THEN I got other stuff done with time leftover to play. And it felt great.
It helps that you generally feel better when you feel like you are in control of your choices.0 -
Great post!!0
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AWESOME post! you ROCK!
and here's a bump for your thread
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Des - How'd you know I needed that? ♥0
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Just the thing I needed to read!0
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Awesome. You are brilliant, dear. :flowerforyou:0
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I love this and you! And I totally needed this this month. :drinker: 0
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Love that. Thanks!0
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Wonderful post.
As you think so shall you become.0 -
"A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results."0
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Awesome post! Very true and inspiring! Definitely needed that this morning. Thanks!0
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Thanks for the reminder! Ever since you first shared this, it has made a huge difference in my attitude. It's not always easy to do, but even small amounts of success with it snowball into huge results (for me). As I answered that question you asked earlier, I was thinking of my struggles as challenges to overcome instead of excuses to keep me from my goals. It's an encouraging difference
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Incredible... Needed this today! Thank you!!!!0
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Good stuff. It is amazing how changing your mindset changes your options (or at least reveals them). I think everyone gets frustrated to the point of thinking "I can't do X because I have to do Y, and I'm miserable, and there's nothing I can do about it." But if you stop and remind yourself that you CAN choose to do something differently, it forces you to think more carefully about your goals and what's most important to you. I try to do that myself every so often ... just stop and ask myself "WHY are you doing this instead of that?" If the answer is something stupid like "Because I'm imposing some dumb rule on myself that I don't even believe in anymore," then I can finally make a positive change. If you won't be honest with yourself, you never get that chance.0
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:drinker:0
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Great post!0
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I really needed this, thank you
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Also... this:
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Yes yes yes yes yes yes.
Yes!0 -
Great post! Thanks for sharing again!0
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Excellent post! It truly is about making choices.
I chose to skip my morning workout this morning so my fiance could get to work early (we carpool). Most likely I will choose to let him make dinner so I can get it in later tonight. :laugh:0 -
Great post! Definitely helps when you change your mindset to be accountable to yourself for your own choices. Last night, I decided that watching Downton Abbey with a friend was more important than kickboxing class (it wasn't and now I regret not going to the gym).0
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Definitely need to read this every so often as a reminder. thanks for posting.0
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Bravo! Thanks for sharing!0
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I wholeheartedly agree! Thank you for posting.0
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