Reducing parental concern over my diet

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Replies

  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
    I'm a parent to 5 kids ages 7-22. The only time I get concerned about any of their eating habits is when something appears extreme. (My oldest learned about calories in 7th grade and basically went on a hunger strike for 2-3 months....he looked awful!!!) None of my kids are even close to overweight, but if I had a child that was and they wanted to be mindful about their eating, I'd be very supportive. That being said, you probably need to explain, thoroughly, what you are up to to your parents so they see that you are not "starving" yourself or being drastic.

    Once I would hear the reasoned and methodic approach, I think I would encourage the healthy choices, not try to discourage them.

    Edit: If you are being extreme....it's a parent's job to try to redirect. If you are skipping meals and trying to achieve some weight goal in a blatantly damaging way....I'd be all over you if you were my kiddo!
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,654 Member
    Maybe not more pasta, but definitely more protein and more calories. Your parents love you and are concerned for your health, with good reason. Talk to your parents about some nutritional counseling for all of you, so you can work as a team to form some good mental and physical health habits.
  • MG_Fit
    MG_Fit Posts: 1,143 Member
    Judging from your diary, I'm going to have to agree with Casey on this one.
  • Commander_Keen
    Commander_Keen Posts: 1,179 Member
    Did you ask them why pasta vs Rice or Protien ( chicken, fish, ext?)
  • jonnythan
    jonnythan Posts: 10,161 Member
    Did you ask them why pasta vs Rice or Protien ( chicken, fish, ext?)

    I doubt her parents are really up on macro ratios. They just want to see their daughter eating food instead of starving herself and developing an eating disorder.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    Did you ask them why pasta vs Rice or Protien ( chicken, fish, ext?)

    I doubt her parents are really up on macro ratios. They just want to see their daughter eating food instead of starving herself and developing an eating disorder.
    Based on her profile, I'd say they know she has one. But yes, I totally agree.
  • AllyBooMommyof2
    AllyBooMommyof2 Posts: 171
    A quick look at your profile and diary suggests that you are already a healthy body weight, and that you state you have a history of disordered eating and a desire to control your body. You are consistently eating below goal and missing (or not logging) meals.

    As a parent I would be worried too.

    Agree
  • MorgueBabe
    MorgueBabe Posts: 1,188 Member
    Eh parents are parents. I've been a vegetarian since 1995. My mother and extended family still offers me meat.
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,654 Member
    Eh parents are parents. I've been a vegetarian since 1995. My mother and extended family still offers me meat.

    But do you eat super low calories and if you do eat a normal meal, then throw it up afterwards?

    ETA- perhaps the OP could look at your diary for some healthy tips on getting calories and macros in, while eating vegetarian.
  • blably
    blably Posts: 490 Member
    i think it wouldnt be wrong to talk with a doctor.

    cause with what youre doing, youre just harming your body. you may not care right now, and might be gettin the ''high'' feeling from being hungry as F, but in a few years, youll remmeber our words.
  • Vegan_85
    Vegan_85 Posts: 40 Member
    You have a BMI of 23.3, so you're already in the healthy range.

    These statements on your profile concern me:

    "i'm tired of the lack of control i feel over my body. i've dealt with unhealthy eating patterns my entire life"

    and:

    "when my metabolism slows down the dietary adjustments needed will be smaller"

    - Your parents are probably just being cautious because they know you have a history of (potentially) disordered eating. It's a good thing that they're looking out for you.

    EDIT: You ate only 182 calories one day. You appeared to log some food for every meal. Then 212 calories worth of exercise on top of that: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/diary/intheaeroplaneoverthesea?date=2014-01-08
  • twixlepennie
    twixlepennie Posts: 1,074 Member
    The other day, I went out to eat with my parents and was originally going to order a vegetable soup and a garden salad, however my parents became concerned and insisted that I had to get a pasta, which I ended up doing to avoid creating drama, however, this of course disrupted the meals I had planned out for the day and I ended up going over my caloric limit, and the only thing that saved me was that I had done more exercise than usual that day, reducing the adverse impact of the pasta. Since I go out to eat with them a lot, how can I stick to my diet without my parents becoming overly worried about the fact that I'm actually eating healthily?

    From your profile it sounds like you may have had issues with an ED in the past? If so, then they're probably just worried about you.

    ETA: just looked at your food diary. ED counseling would probably be a really good idea.
  • intheaeroplaneoverthesea
    intheaeroplaneoverthesea Posts: 7
    Keep in mind that I do have a busy schedule, so many days I don't actually get to log all of my meals, and when something says it has zero calories, it's mainly just me calculating things on my phone and then not knowing how to delete them on iOS. So it seems worse than it is, but any illusion that I'm consistently under my goal is mainly caused by the fact that I don't always get the opportunity to log everything. Also, I have a binge eating disorder, so my weight loss goal is a means of monitoring my portion sizes while also being able to look good in a swimsuit instead of eating thousands of calories a day, because that could lead to obesity in the future and has already caused me to gain significant amounts of weight. I have a small frame, and many of my family members are also in that height-weight range, so it's pretty normal for my build, and at the weight I'm at right now I have significant amounts of extra chub that I'd like to see go away. Anyways, I do live with my parents, but they can be pretty overbearing about food with us, which is why I like to cook my own food, and I was wondering what to do because on Friday I'm going out with them for pizza and I know they'll want me to eat a full pizza, whereas I'd rather eat a soup or a salad.
  • 19TaraLynn84
    19TaraLynn84 Posts: 739 Member
    Tell them you don't want pizza and would prefer a salad and soup? Seems oddly simple for an 18-year-old to tell her parents she doesn't want to eat a whole pizza. I'm not trying to be snarky. Please don't read it that way. But in all seriousness, if you are really 18, this shouldn't be that hard.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I'm certainly not an expert on what other people should or shouldn't eat, and I am not a parent. I suppose you may well have disordered eating that needs to be addressed.

    However, with that said...I am curious about your parents' involvement in your life. Are they extremely controlling? Do you live with them? Perhaps a change of scenery and becoming more independent, whether living on your own, with roommates, or in a school/dorm situation, would help you feel more in control.

    There's a lot of concern in this thread and I'd imagine it sounds like judging to you. Please understand that the majority of people (MFP posters and quite possibly your parents) really DO have your best interests in mind.

    I wish you the best.
  • Arydria
    Arydria Posts: 179 Member
    *deleted* once I read your response.

    You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Your parents are concerned because they love you.

    For pizza... eat 1 slice.. make them happy. Then enjoy salad and soup.
  • jonnythan
    jonnythan Posts: 10,161 Member
    I have a binge eating disorder

    This is the important part.

    Your parents will worry. They are concerned about your eating habits, as they should be.

    The best way to ease their concern is to involve them in your disorder and what you are doing about it. The more they know, and the more they are convinced that you are doing everything in your power to fight your disorder, the less concerned they will be. If you keep them locked out, and they see you starving yourself at dinner, they will rightly be very concerned.
  • Nessiechickie
    Nessiechickie Posts: 1,392 Member
    My parents tell me to go to the gym if I gain 5 lbs
    and if I lose 5 lbs they tell me to eat more.
    Its a lose-lose battle.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    *deleted* once I read your response.

    You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Your parents are concerned because they love you.

    For pizza... eat 1 slice.. make them happy. Then enjoy salad and soup.

    I think this is good advice and if that doesn't satisfy OP's parents, they are being a bit ridiculous.

    Maybe I'm wayyy off target but to me it sounds like the problem is more with the dynamics of family. It can be extremely difficult to live with your parents beyond the onset of adulthood if you're very independent and they are very controlling.
  • Smashley1947
    Smashley1947 Posts: 129
    I would highly recommend going to a registered dietician or find a counselor through school or your parents employee assistance program (EAP). I stress a registered dietician and one that is familiar with working with people who have struggled with ED's. There is also a lot of misinformation available online and available through 'nutritionists' who are not registered on what exactly is healthy eating.

    With them you can sit down and go through your meal plan and find out if it is right for you. As someone who struggles with ED it is important to remember to eat a balanced diet.

    You may or may not be eating healthy and you may struggle to find the right balance of healthy eatings vs weight control.

    Also a very important part of losing fat is actually increasing your muscle. I would add weight training to your exercise regimen (and with that added calorie (fats and protein)).

    With the information from the dietican/counselor you will be able to go to your parents and be able to show them that they have nothing to worry about.

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