Asked how far along I am... not pregnant, normal weight!

dc5385

This is my first post. I just want to get some reactions from others. I am a 28-year-old female, 5'6" and 133 lbs. That's a BMI of 21.5, which is right in the normal range. Today, I ran into an office assistant at my old company when I stopped by the old office. I hadn't seen him in about 3 years. It's true that I've gained a few pounds since then. But then he asked me how far along I am. I'm not pregnant!! I may have been wearing unflattering pants and a blouse that hits right at the pant line, and maybe I was bloated and/or carry a little extra in the tummy area. But I am just wondering if I am crazy, or if even then, with my height and weight, it is a totally bizarre question. Or is the standard for being skinny so skewed these days that now that I'm more in the normal size (as opposed to being on the somewhat lower end), I look pregnant. I have read on forums people having this experience as a size 10 or 12, but I am a size 2 on top, 4 on bottom. What do others think about this?

knra_grl

That happened to me once *sigh* :ohwell:

But I have to admit I had the extra weight to make people wonder.

kimosabe1

lol... that happened to me at Costco one day by a 400 pound woman. I started crying & walked away & my husband that she should go on a diet also-

jewel22887

The smaller you are the more you notice extra weight. It was very stupid of him to ask though period. And I've been asked before but I looked it honestly.

gertudejekyl

It happened to me once- I had a friend that had it happen all the time..she was thin but big belly - terrible! I never, ever, ever say something about pregnancy unless they mention it !:grumble: :grumble: :noway:

meshashesha2012

when i was in grad school there was a guy who would ask me this. i was gaining weight at the time. he was foreign so the first time he asked me i just told him i wasnt pregnant and didnt think anything of i because a) i knew i was gaining weight b) i figured his lack of tact was because his being male and being foreign.

then he asked it again, then i found it he was doing it because he thought it funny in front of his friends to be a jerk to me. then he did it a third time and i ripped him a new one, in front of his friends and made him feel so incredibly small in front of them he never asked me ANYTHING ever again.


so i guess for me, i dont take things personally especially if i know them to true. people are entitled to their opinions and those opinions are open to be ones i dont like. BUT if i know the person is saying stuff to be an a*hole, or trying to make themselves feel better by attempting to make me look worse, then :devil: that *kitten* i do not let go and the odds of them ever repeating the mistake to my face at least, are very very low

NKoz82

If it makes you feel any better no one would ask me even when I thought it was very obvious because I think people thought it was just fat :-/ I almost had a shirt made that said yes I am pregnant but I thought that would lead to belly touching and I wanted no part of that.

TheRealParisLove

I'm the same size as the OP and I had someone ask me that last year. I'm busty, and that may be part of it. I was also wearing a top that wasn't the most flattering. I got rid of the top after that. :laugh:

MinimalistShoeAddict

Don't worry, I doubt the person who asked you was being serious.

This is a common prank right now. In my opinion it is pretty mean, but YouTube has many examples of it:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UK0HEwVbSB8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQrXXRdKoxU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQHgvRBcN3g

cafeaulait7

I got asked when I was a very normal weight. It was a CVS clerk, so it was really none of her business, lol. But I was wearing one of those kangaroo-pocket sweatshirts (and was probably bloated that day). My lower belly can pooch out, but you'd think people would have seen women with bulgy lower bellies before (with us having periods and all, especially).

I guess not. Or everyone else in the world like me just wears spanx constantly, even while bloated

avimar28

If someone is 9 months along, and you know it, you still don'y ask that question!!

I also get bloated and often see people eyeing out my stomach.

Mrsallypants

You could distribute a lot of your fat on your stomach, that and you probably have a anterior pelvic tilt.

BonnieandClyde29

Literally all my weight goes to my stomach i swear! And I hate hate hate it!!! Even when I was smaller and constantly active, I always had a "pooch" and still to this day, even then got asked if i was pregnant since middle school!!! It's so humiliating and embarrassing!!! Usually it is embarrassing to for the person asking when they find out that you're not pregnant, so normally I don't get too mad much just irritated...

Just the other day my husband's cousin came up to me, put one hand on my belly and looked at me and smiled, and I just said, No I'm not pregnant but thanks. She felt like an *kitten* after that, but it didn't make me feel any better, it is also my fault, but to me because of my experiences unless someone knows you are pregnant or it is completely obvious then to me it is rude.

Allterrain_Lady

Nobody should ever ask a woman how far along she is. Like, never. Especially someone they don't know. Holy crap, would they ask a friend if she's pregnant because she seems a little bit bloated?! Hell no!

If you want to ask, you wait until you know for sure someone's pregnant. Being sure means she ACTUALLY told you she's having a baby. Any question before that talk is uncalled for. Period.

A friend of mine got pregnant and she didn't tell anyone. She put on some weight and we suspected something (giving up smocking, alcohol and sushis was a huge hint too...)
She lost the baby after 4 months. And somebody she didn't know asked her when she was due while waiting on line at the post office.
How awful is that?!

That woman and the one who asked you should have kept their mouth shut. End of story.

alisonlynn1976

I'm in the normal weight range now, and people on the internet still tell me I'm fat, as recently as yesterday. I think there's something going on with public perception of body image where the ideal in magazines is moving really far away from the actual average. Anyway, really sorry that happened to you.

dc5385

Thank you everyone!! This makes me feel a lot better. It sounds like we all agree it is a totally inappropriate question at any time and it reflects worse on them than me It did make me realize that there may be things I ask people or assume that may be incorrect, so I'll be more careful in the future too!

Smashley1947

I have gotten this question before.

When I was thin before I had gained any weight while in college.

The thing is my stomach is naturally convex, it curves out and it does look like I'm pregnant. Even if I am underweight (I grew up being underweight). And wearing the right(wrong) clothes made it look even more like I was pregnant.

Depending on your body type it may always look like you are a few months along. Its normal.

I also got it this summer by my friends 6 year old. lol.

He was giving me a hug with his head in my belly. His mother was nice and said it was because all his aunties were pregnant at the time. (Yay for me, 2 new babies to play with) but I knew it was because I had gained weight this time.

32sami

I would have said 7-8 months and asked about her pregnancy. lol

Doctorpurple

Don't worry. I'm sure you don't look overweight. There's plenty of women who are slim and pregnant so they only have tummy and no extra weight anywhere else. I would blame in on the clothes. That happened to me too I was wearing really unflattering clothes like an empire cut shirt and I was kinda bloated in the face or maybe my arms and I have flat stomach so don't worry about it.

tempehforever

I just wanted to reply to say that I am exactly your age, height, and weight (to the pound, haha)--and I have the same problem. A man once offered his seat to me on the metro because he thought I was pregnant. No joke.

I have a disproportionally short torso and that is where I carry all my "weight" (not that I have much of it, with a healthy BMI). Honestly, at some point I have to laugh about it.--I mean, it IS a little funny. Even when I'm super fit, this is just how my body is. Eh. I can deal.

Also it is a fun way to freak out guys you're dating.

erulasse

fyrefly1981

At my skinniest (5'3" 125# ) i got asked how far along i was a t work...I worked at a restaurant and the apron i wore hung straight off my chest (which is NOT small) I think it made it look like i was preggers. So you're definitely not alone!!!

sarafischbach9

I am not sure! People think crazy things!

I have had a co-worker ask me if I lost weight a few months ago. It was when I was on my second day of my period. By the second day of my period my body usually flushes out the excess water weight by then and I look a lot thinner in the stomach area. When I told her I lost a few water weight pounds due to ending PMS, she acted surprised and said she thought I was in my second trimester. It kind of made me feel bad... At that point, I speculate I was around my low 130's ( pushed mid-130s this past Xmas and this happened in October-ish ). I am 5'3.5" so a little shorter than you by a couple inches. I was a size 4-6 and by Xmas it was actually worse definitely getting into a 6 by that point. But even so a size 6 isn't big.

I had really bad bloating problems prior to my period, but in all honesty I was giving into salty and meat cravings, which was causing the water bloating to be worse. I am about to get my period in 10 days and usually by ths time I'm starting to get bloated. I have no bloating, other than from what I ate, which will go away by the morning.

But I'm taking control of it...

But yes when you have several water weight pounds added due to your period.... people can sometimes think that even when you're fairly slender.

Leaping_Lemur

Dave Barry once wrote something along the lines of "Unless you actually see a baby physically exiting a woman at that moment, never ask a woman if she is pregnant." Good advice.

NinjaJinja

My mother carries all her weight in her stomach so she basically looks 9 months pregnant perpetually. She says that whenever she dyed her hair, she would always get asked how far along she was. This is one of the reasons she doesn't bother to dye her hair - no one asks when her whole head is grey!

Also her favorite response to that question was "About x years ago!" where x is the current age of my sister, lol.

bheathfit

I should seriously start selling Tazers. If everyone had a high quality tazer on them at all times, life would be much simpler. It may not kill off the stupid people, but at least it would shut them up after getting fried for asking stupid questions.

NYgirl1990

Yeah I once went to CVS to buy lotion or something with my husband and the cash register lady (never seen her in my life) just asked me "so when are you due?" I don't understand why anyone would ever ask that to anyone without knowing FOR SURE first.

NYgirl1990

Literally all my weight goes to my stomach i swear! And I hate hate hate it!!! Even when I was smaller and constantly active, I always had a "pooch" and still to this day, even then got asked if i was pregnant since middle school!!! It's so humiliating and embarrassing!!! Usually it is embarrassing to for the person asking when they find out that you're not pregnant, so normally I don't get too mad much just irritated...

Just the other day my husband's cousin came up to me, put one hand on my belly and looked at me and smiled, and I just said, No I'm not pregnant but thanks. She felt like an *kitten* after that, but it didn't make me feel any better, it is also my fault, but to me because of my experiences unless someone knows you are pregnant or it is completely obvious then to me it is rude.

Same here! No matter what I can't lose the pooch. I'm thinking about doing coffee enemas frequently to see if that helps...

NYgirl1990

I would have said 7-8 months and asked about her pregnancy. lol

LOL!

cafeaulait7

Yeah I once went to CVS to buy lotion or something with my husband and the cash register lady (never seen her in my life) just asked me "so when are you due?" I don't understand why anyone would ever ask that to anyone without knowing FOR SURE first.

That is so weird, because that's who asked me that time. Maybe it was a mean CVS joke before youtube, lol! Or you are from NC and it's just the one strange woman

benefiting

LOLOL!