Born this way

Rhozelyn

Ok It's only the 16th day into a new year and I'm fed up of logging and not losing a single pound of weight. I have gained 2lb.

It's going to take longer. Be patient.

I'm frustrated that I need to log in my food and I am sick to death of hearing about TDEE and BMR! How can some calculation be accurate about my body? Plus my body seems to do whatever it wants whatever I do. I can stick to the TDEE and workout and lose NOTHING. It simply wants to fulfil its potential and what I am attempting to do is not nature's plan. Nature wants me to be fatter…my mind even plays tricks on me…

Calories in = calories out. It is that simple. I would give you advise about what you should do, but I think you need to realise first that you A) need to be patient and really have to track what goes in your mouth. If you are underestimating what you eat, you won't lose. It's that simple, really. Nature does not want you to be fat...

I can't connect with my body. It has so much fat yet it can't use it as an energy source. I even still have hunger pangs when I'm carrying around 80lb of fat! (my body fat is apparently about 41%).

Our bodies pretty much work in the same way. Be careful with blaming your body, because I fear you might be in denial. I'm trying to say this in the nicest way possible.

Is my life going to be about logging every morsel of food that passes my lips???? Really????!!!! If I'm not prepared to do this for life then why bother??? Is this sustainable???

Do you REALLY want it? If so, DO IT. Log the food. For me, after a year I can say that I pretty much know what I can eat and be on target (because I know how much calories are in my brekkie, lunch and dinner).

Maybe I'm not giving it 100%….ok I'm not. I have to make a decision now…because I sure as hell am not going to be logging every bloody morsel and finding myself still fat in 3 months' time!!!!! I CAN'T!!!!

Well, there ya go...

So I AM going to stop logging in pretend calories(who know?? the numbers and and weights all vary!) I am the queen of guestimating!!

Stop being upset. Get a foodscale and weigh the damn food. The box of oats says 40 grams is x amount of calories, so I log exactly that amount. The almond milk says it has x amount of calories per 100ml, so I measure and log that. It's not that hard! You just don't want it enough!

To top it off I have just seen some amazing success stories…"pic only success thread"….Am I jealous?? No! I keep wondering HOW DID THEY DO IT????

By measuring their food, logging it, eating at a deficit and being patient.

I really loved your post and I will have to read it again and engage my brain in the right way. Thank you for taking the time to really analyse my post and also thanks to EVERYONE who posted because you didn't just ignore my rant! Sometimes medicine is a bitter pill to swallow.

Rhozelyn

Hi there I started with a similar amount of weight to lose, I'm not nearly there yet but there's no doubt in my mind that I will get there. It's going to take time, dedication and consistency and I'm more than willing to give that. I have spent the last number of years losing and gaining weight, beating myself up about my failures, feeling very bad about myself, telling myself that for me losing weight was harder than other people generally making excuses. I have set my weightless on here to lose one pound per week, I weigh what needs to be weighed and I count calories. I got a fitbit so I can see just how active or inactive I am, no more going for a Walk and thinking "job done" And sitting on my behind for the rest of the day. Basically I'm taking responsibility and it's working. The best thing about all of this is how I no longer feel bad about my weight of my eating habits, there's no guilt. Between a moderate calorie deficit and exercise I eat very well am never hungry, never deprived and I'm not on a diet. I used to rebel against spending the rest of my life counting calories, now I embrace it, counting calories will be the tool I use to keep my weight in check. I don't begrudge my 20 min drive to work or similar time spent showering and getting dressed, why would I begrudge the 15 or so minutes it takes to weigh my food and log it on here?

I don't have days off, everything is logged even when I go over, doing that has allowed me to see a true reflection of my eating habits and my subsequent weightloss.
Take ownership for your eating and exercise and you will see the results, good luck.

Thank you too for your encouraging post. I have doubts and that is what makes me "cheat" but I am only cheating myself. The body doesn't lie. The evidence is apparent by my failure to drop the pounds. So here goes…self belief needs to reign!

pds06

If you haven't lost you are doing something wrong. Are you eating your exercise calories back. Are you writing everything you put in your mouth. Drinking a ton of water. Is your diary public so people can make suggestions?

neandermagnon

First of all you need to be willing to change long term. If you are frustrated after only 16 days maybe you aren't ready to put in the work it takes to lose the weight, you most likely are still eating too much.

this............. although the usual mistake that people make when they give up after a short time, is having an all-or-nothing mentality and making it way too difficult and complicated

OP: it may take some trial and error to get the maths right, but what you want to aim for is to find the highest number of calories that you can eat and still lose weight slowly and steadily. That gives you more calories to be able to include more interesting and varied foods, including all the "must have" foods (just weigh and log calorie dense foods carefully so you don't go over your calorie goal). Don't be puritanical about food, this is for the long term, so eat in a way that enables you to enjoy all the foods you want to enjoy. It's just a matter of getting the right size portions so you don't go over your goal.

Yes it's drudgery at first logging everything, but try to be systematic about it and get into the habit of doing it, and it becomes second nature and much easier. You have to put the effort in at first to make it a habit, but it gets easier when you're in the habit, especially if you're eating foods that you enjoy. Most people don't need to log foods forever, once you're at maintenance you should be in habits of eating the right sized portions of everything, so you may be able to maintain without logging.

Re exercise... focus on long term. Do some form of exercise that you'll enjoy and not find a chore so you can keep that up. Again, once you're in the habit, it should get easier.

Don't get stuck in an all or nothing mentality. You don't have to be perfect, you don't have to be "good" all the time.... you just have to stick to your calorie goal (which means accurate measuring and logging) most of the time (meals off for parties etc are fine but just don't do that all the time) and do some kind of exercise you enjoy.

Ang108

Yesterday was my 295th day of logging. I started out on April 10th , 2012 logging my food and walking five minutes before I became breathless.
I was told I could not lose weight, because I don't have a thyroid ( and therefore am extremely hypo thyroid ), have active Lupus ( an auto immune disease ) and am 66 years old.
Today I walked almost an hour, am feeling much better in general, have in all that time never done a cheat day and got used to the calories I eat and have lost over 45 pounds. None of that would have happened had I given in and given up after 16 days.
Good Luck to you !ª

Ang108

Yesterday was my 295th day of logging. I started out on April 10th , 2012 logging my food and walking five minutes before I became breathless.
I was told I could not lose weight, because I don't have a thyroid ( and therefore am extremely hypo thyroid ), have active Lupus ( an auto immune disease ) and am 66 years old.
Today I walked almost an hour, am feeling much better in general, have in all that time never done a cheat day and got used to the calories I eat and have lost over 45 pounds. None of that would have happened had I given in and given up after 16 days.
Good Luck to you !ª

CanadianRunaway

I wish that people could be more positive. Everyone seems to have an opinion to give but very few have any support to offer. Everyone is different and so is their journey. That being said even those who have lost a great deal of weight can relate. We all have moments where we hit a wall, whether it's the beginning of our journey or the plateau down the road. Why we can't take a moment to relate and show some understanding instead of whipping out the finger pointing just goes to show how self-motivated and selfish we can be.

That being said, I'm sorry your journey has not been as planned. I have always had a pretty dang good diet (in my opinion) but saw that year after year I was gaining. I felt the same feelings of frustration and confusion. Finally, I too had one of those "it just hit me" moments and decided to hit the gym. I used to be very fit and loved the gym, so I knew it was something I could get back into if I would just let myself. Low and behold all it took was some exercise. I literally didn't change anything in my diet (which is probably not the norm) with the exception of taking in protein directly after my workout.
Dieting and tracking your food is important and proven that people are more successful and likely to maintain their healthy lifestyle when they do keep a food diary. But the exercise is what makes all that food tracking worth it. Because at the end of the day the more you workout and gain muscle the more calories that little body of yours is going to burn all on it's bad little self

So here is what I can recommend:
- Fill out that food diary, I am not a every gram girl (I know that goes against what a lot of people have said) but the foods I consume won't make or break me based on a single gram, i.e. that apple that was actually a bit heavier than I logged will not be my demise. Just remember you can journal your heart out but what matters most is what you are journaling. What foods you are eating. And if not anything else journaling keeps you honest.
- Find an exercise you love. Whether it be walking, yoga, zumba or jazzercise find something you can see yourself doing and will want to do. Running on pavement might not be your thing, and you have got to like what you are doing or you wont do it. Just start somewhere... your local library or even streaming sites nowadays have workout videos you can try. And you might be all nasty after 4 minutes or barely breathing but hey it's more than you were doing.
- Learn to let go. The reason I never hit the gym was because the last time I was in the gym I looked like I worked out, not that I needed to be there so to speak. I was afraid everyone around me was staring at me. Truth in the matter people don't give two sticks that you are there. You are there for yourself. You are going to keep this diary and work out a little for yourself. Let go of the pain and frustration it's what's holding you back. Start replacing it with "I got this" and "I deserve more."

It's all about you. Remember that. Ignore others who bring you down or create doubt. You are the one that will get you were you want to be and only you. But also know you got this!

CanadianRunaway

I wish that people could be more positive. Everyone seems to have an opinion to give but very few have any support to offer. Everyone is different and so is their journey. That being said even those who have lost a great deal of weight can relate. We all have moments where we hit a wall, whether it's the beginning of our journey or the plateau down the road. Why we can't take a moment to relate and show some understanding instead of whipping out the finger pointing just goes to show how self-motivated and selfish we can be.

That being said, I'm sorry your journey has not been as planned. I have always had a pretty dang good diet (in my opinion) but saw that year after year I was gaining. I felt the same feelings of frustration and confusion. Finally, I too had one of those "it just hit me" moments and decided to hit the gym. I used to be very fit and loved the gym, so I knew it was something I could get back into if I would just let myself. Low and behold all it took was some exercise. I literally didn't change anything in my diet (which is probably not the norm) with the exception of taking in protein directly after my workout.
Dieting and tracking your food is important and proven that people are more successful and likely to maintain their healthy lifestyle when they do keep a food diary. But the exercise is what makes all that food tracking worth it. Because at the end of the day the more you workout and gain muscle the more calories that little body of yours is going to burn all on it's bad little self

So here is what I can recommend:
- Fill out that food diary, I am not a every gram girl (I know that goes against what a lot of people have said) but the foods I consume won't make or break me based on a single gram, i.e. that apple that was actually a bit heavier than I logged will not be my demise. Just remember you can journal your heart out but what matters most is what you are journaling. What foods you are eating. And if not anything else journaling keeps you honest.
- Find an exercise you love. Whether it be walking, yoga, zumba or jazzercise find something you can see yourself doing and will want to do. Running on pavement might not be your thing, and you have got to like what you are doing or you wont do it. Just start somewhere... your local library or even streaming sites nowadays have workout videos you can try. And you might be all nasty after 4 minutes or barely breathing but hey it's more than you were doing.
- Learn to let go. The reason I never hit the gym was because the last time I was in the gym I looked like I worked out, not that I needed to be there so to speak. I was afraid everyone around me was staring at me. Truth in the matter people don't give two sticks that you are there. You are there for yourself. You are going to keep this diary and work out a little for yourself. Let go of the pain and frustration it's what's holding you back. Start replacing it with "I got this" and "I deserve more."

It's all about you. Remember that. Ignore others who bring you down or create doubt. You are the one that will get you were you want to be and only you. But also know you got this!

amandakev88

Hey--I love what canadian runaway said up there. People get so stuck up with 'holding each other accountable', that they often forget how tough it is when you first start out.

So to add my two cents....

It takes 12 consecutive days to break a habit. I know logging is often a pain. I'm still pretty new to this, but i have found it has almost become second nature. I eat--I think 'log in mfp'. I have it installed to my phone and put on the home screen. I know you said youi've been doing this for 16 days, but if you missed even a single day logging somewhere in there, you've probably broken the habit you were trying to form.

I assume once you get into maintenance mode, after you learn what a proper portion size is, what a serving of X looks like, etc, you won't have to be so anal with your logging. But as i said, by then, it'll probably be NBD.

I semi-agree with opening up your diary, but at the same time, I understand that some people keep it closed in order to be more honest in their logging. If you feel like you'll be more honest if you keep it closed, then by all means, keep it closed. A compromise would be to have it open to friends only, and make sure your MFP friends are actually helpful.

Have you seen your physician for some blood tests and whatnot? If you have been accurate with your logging and have been doing this properly and STILL aren't losing weight, have them check you out. Many things can affect weight loss. Thyroid, anemia, metabolic syndrome, various meds, etc. Always good just to rule it out, right?

Dont give up. It's more miserable to hate your body than it is to log food, honestly. If you really like to eat, and you like to eat big portions, exercise more! It allows you more calories--honesty, time, i had 30 ikea meatballs yesterday. Yep you read that right. But i had a solid workout at the gym and im trying to eat more protein so it was ok. I logged it. And i got on with my day.--Even half an hour of moderate effort on the elliptical while watching tv, at your BF% and weight, will probably burn upwards of 400 calories.

Biggest thing im learning--slow and steady wins the race, really. Its gradual. Don't deprive yourself. Make it enjoyable. Treat yourself, but log it. Calories in calories out, that's all. Forgive yourself if you gain a pound. If you're losing weight the right way its probably better than you gain a pound first--muscle.

Speaking of which, just focus on bringing that body fat percentage down, little by little. Adding muscle will increase your metabolism, so that even if you do jack **** all day, you're still burning more calories than you would without said muscle.

good luck. ignore the jerks, and logging aint so bad =] just tell yourself.. you gotta! its like putting on pants.. its just gotta happen if you want to get anywhere.

oh--and eat more veggies! and eat them BEFORE you eat everything else. aim for 5-10 a day. its a LOT of food, you wont feel hungry. eat what you want, just eat the veggies first!!

slouw10

MFP does work, logging is tedious, I agree. But if you want it badly enough, you will do it. Guessing your portions does not work, weigh it. I fell off the wagon in December, in January started fresh, and lost by just staying in my calorie goal.

It is a lifestyle, not just a thing you can do for a month, then eat like always - then the weight will come back.

Trust me, if you weigh your food, log accurately, from the oil you use to the sugar in your coffee, it will work!

Blokeypoo

I was a proper little miss negative (now an old boiler of 46 but you get my drift....). I lost 28lbs and have been stable for over a year despite not being able to change violent childhood/bereavement/divorce etc. By that I mean that your past (for those affected) doesn't have to be your future.

30 yrs of yo-yo dieting - I was a great wt loser but rubbish at really changing - and I finally realised it really was all in the head. Now I pretend that I can do anything I please and guess what, it really comes good.

These have helped me, you might feel a plum but I recommend remembering them or printing them and putting posters around where you can see them:

"The harder I work the luckier I get"

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.” (that is soooo true)

“You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!”

Good luck - weigh everything (it really does become second nature).

misschoppo

Would you scream at a flashlight for not working if you refused to put batteries in it?:huh:

This ^

Stop guesstimating, actually weigh your food accurately & eat at a deficit. Pointless to rant that something doesn't work if you are not actually doing it properly.

CanadianRunaway

Sorry I think my computer spazzed when previously posting

liloldDee

One of the best bits of advice I can give you is to get active dedicated friends, people who are 100% committed to losing weight. You will learn so much from them and will probably change your whole attitude a lot quicker than you will on your own.

I had no intention of logging on over Christmas, but the whole family had a tummy bug, including myself so since I ate very little I decided to log. To say I was blown away by quiet a lot of my friends commitment is an understatement. Some stayed under calories, some went over but they logged, didn't eat for the sake of it or made no excuses, this carried on throughout the Christmas period and I kept going with them and lost weight that week. I had received a fitbit and planned to start using it in January but I set it up and got it going straight away.

If you would like add me as a friend, you can see my diary and I am very interactive:-)

Rhozelyn

I wish that people could be more positive. Everyone seems to have an opinion to give but very few have any support to offer. Everyone is different and so is their journey. That being said even those who have lost a great deal of weight can relate. We all have moments where we hit a wall, whether it's the beginning of our journey or the plateau down the road. Why we can't take a moment to relate and show some understanding instead of whipping out the finger pointing just goes to show how self-motivated and selfish we can be.

That being said, I'm sorry your journey has not been as planned. I have always had a pretty dang good diet (in my opinion) but saw that year after year I was gaining. I felt the same feelings of frustration and confusion. Finally, I too had one of those "it just hit me" moments and decided to hit the gym. I used to be very fit and loved the gym, so I knew it was something I could get back into if I would just let myself. Low and behold all it took was some exercise. I literally didn't change anything in my diet (which is probably not the norm) with the exception of taking in protein directly after my workout.
Dieting and tracking your food is important and proven that people are more successful and likely to maintain their healthy lifestyle when they do keep a food diary. But the exercise is what makes all that food tracking worth it. Because at the end of the day the more you workout and gain muscle the more calories that little body of yours is going to burn all on it's bad little self

So here is what I can recommend:
- Fill out that food diary, I am not a every gram girl (I know that goes against what a lot of people have said) but the foods I consume won't make or break me based on a single gram, i.e. that apple that was actually a bit heavier than I logged will not be my demise. Just remember you can journal your heart out but what matters most is what you are journaling. What foods you are eating. And if not anything else journaling keeps you honest.
- Find an exercise you love. Whether it be walking, yoga, zumba or jazzercise find something you can see yourself doing and will want to do. Running on pavement might not be your thing, and you have got to like what you are doing or you wont do it. Just start somewhere... your local library or even streaming sites nowadays have workout videos you can try. And you might be all nasty after 4 minutes or barely breathing but hey it's more than you were doing.
- Learn to let go. The reason I never hit the gym was because the last time I was in the gym I looked like I worked out, not that I needed to be there so to speak. I was afraid everyone around me was staring at me. Truth in the matter people don't give two sticks that you are there. You are there for yourself. You are going to keep this diary and work out a little for yourself. Let go of the pain and frustration it's what's holding you back. Start replacing it with "I got this" and "I deserve more."

It's all about you. Remember that. Ignore others who bring you down or create doubt. You are the one that will get you were you want to be and only you. But also know you got this!

Of all the replies I have had THIS post really resonates with me! I live in the real world. There are days of binge eating for no reasons, hormones, time away from home with work where logging is impossible but I too used to work out and that is what I am really trying to do. I understand the value of logging food. For me it is to have some control of how much I eat. The reason I have gained weight is because I have been over eating. I think my body needs exercise whatever else I do. Thank you for your encouraging and positive post. There is this assumption that I have given up after 16 days....I'm not silly or stupid. But after 16days of dieting it is not unreasonable to expect a pound or two off!

Rhozelyn

Hey--I love what canadian runaway said up there. People get so stuck up with 'holding each other accountable', that they often forget how tough it is when you first start out.

So to add my two cents....

It takes 12 consecutive days to break a habit. I know logging is often a pain. I'm still pretty new to this, but i have found it has almost become second nature. I eat--I think 'log in mfp'. I have it installed to my phone and put on the home screen. I know you said youi've been doing this for 16 days, but if you missed even a single day logging somewhere in there, you've probably broken the habit you were trying to form.

I assume once you get into maintenance mode, after you learn what a proper portion size is, what a serving of X looks like, etc, you won't have to be so anal with your logging. But as i said, by then, it'll probably be NBD.

I semi-agree with opening up your diary, but at the same time, I understand that some people keep it closed in order to be more honest in their logging. If you feel like you'll be more honest if you keep it closed, then by all means, keep it closed. A compromise would be to have it open to friends only, and make sure your MFP friends are actually helpful.

Have you seen your physician for some blood tests and whatnot? If you have been accurate with your logging and have been doing this properly and STILL aren't losing weight, have them check you out. Many things can affect weight loss. Thyroid, anemia, metabolic syndrome, various meds, etc. Always good just to rule it out, right?

Dont give up. It's more miserable to hate your body than it is to log food, honestly. If you really like to eat, and you like to eat big portions, exercise more! It allows you more calories--honesty, time, i had 30 ikea meatballs yesterday. Yep you read that right. But i had a solid workout at the gym and im trying to eat more protein so it was ok. I logged it. And i got on with my day.--Even half an hour of moderate effort on the elliptical while watching tv, at your BF% and weight, will probably burn upwards of 400 calories.

Biggest thing im learning--slow and steady wins the race, really. Its gradual. Don't deprive yourself. Make it enjoyable. Treat yourself, but log it. Calories in calories out, that's all. Forgive yourself if you gain a pound. If you're losing weight the right way its probably better than you gain a pound first--muscle.

Speaking of which, just focus on bringing that body fat percentage down, little by little. Adding muscle will increase your metabolism, so that even if you do jack **** all day, you're still burning more calories than you would without said muscle.

good luck. ignore the jerks, and logging aint so bad =] just tell yourself.. you gotta! its like putting on pants.. its just gotta happen if you want to get anywhere.

oh--and eat more veggies! and eat them BEFORE you eat everything else. aim for 5-10 a day. its a LOT of food, you wont feel hungry. eat what you want, just eat the veggies first!!

Again so wonderful and helpful. The things I can definitely try and do is add veg and exercise. Thanks!

Rhozelyn

No one can just eat what they want and not gain weight. I get so tired of reading that crap. You can do it if you set your mind to it, but the first thing you need to do is stop thinking that you were "born this way," that it's impossible, or that everyone else some magical body that allows them to defy science.

Science is a theory, an experiment and a result. My whole existence is not like a lab experiment which "science" usually employs. I understand the basics. I am just trying to understand my body as I am getting older. There is a whole range of "normal"....a distribution curve with extremes at either end. I am somewhere under that curve and just need to find out where.

Rhozelyn

I know I might sound like a very defensive and self righteous person only because sometimes I get frustrated by the same old messages from some well meaning people who can't think understand what I am about. I don't expect to be understood by all but I have had some great responses mostly and I am grateful. If there are others who have been struggling in their own way then hopefully you have read some helpful hints in this thread.

I have no "lose by date". I want to be healthy. I love life and I am glad to be trying. I just have to change what I have been doing if I want different results! Good luck to all :-)))