How are some parents parents?

ninerbuff
ninerbuff Posts: 49,023 Member
in Chit-Chat
So while out on a walk, I came across two females both pushing strollers. We were walking over a highway overpass, so the sidewalks are a bit higher than regular sidewalks.
Anyway, one of the girls is pushing her stroller while texting. She inadvertantly then pushes the stroller OFF of the side of the sidewalk (which is about 16 inches high) and is now holding on to the stroller for dear life so it doesn't tip over and her kids (it was a dual stroller) don't fall out. The other female starts yelling "OMG, OMG, OMG!!!" because on coming traffic is coming from behind. I run over and help them with the stroller to put it back up on the side walk and say "Probably not a good idea to be texting and pushing a stroller around in heavy traffic". She said thanks and as I left I could hear her saying "but it was Michael texting me and I didn't want to upset him."
Sigh.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Replies

  • Jersey_Devil
    Jersey_Devil Posts: 4,142 Member
    i think Michael was the guy driving the oncoming car.
  • heylookitsval
    heylookitsval Posts: 1,141 Member
    I have kids just to sell them on the black market...do you know how much white babies are going for these days?!
  • TX_Thundercat
    TX_Thundercat Posts: 2,437 Member
    I have kids just to sell them on the black market...do you know how much white babies are going for these days?!

    No idea but I hear they are delicious.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Low card and Paleo
  • bd0027
    bd0027 Posts: 1,053 Member
    Michael must be good in bed.
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    The level of stupid is strong in this planet. That's all.
  • LishLash79
    LishLash79 Posts: 562 Member
    I have five kids... and I had them so that they can do more work around the house and I can do less.. mwa ha ha ha ha (i mean.. i loves them)
  • Fitnin6280
    Fitnin6280 Posts: 618 Member
    OMG, sounds like it is a miracle she can dress herself in the morning.
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,487 Member
    Michael is probably tired of the kids getting in the way of his action anyway.
  • TX_Rhon
    TX_Rhon Posts: 1,549 Member
    You have to have a license to run a business, drive a car or be a nail technician. There is no training required for parenthood.

    Note: I am not advocating gov't intervention before having children. There are millions of good parents out there!! Me being one of them, ha!!
  • 1longroad
    1longroad Posts: 642 Member
    Well, parents become parents, when in the heat of passion, or the throes of love, they have s-e-x-!!!! Suddenly, the egg and sperm become a baby, who is born 9 months or so later. Problem is, the baby comes without a user manual, there is no test for common sense prior to conception and some parents just don't care enough to do a good job. ;-)
  • kateanne27
    kateanne27 Posts: 275 Member
    In my work I have come across a lot of people who don't get what many other people call common sense. Think about what underlying knowledge or skill that leads you to the conclusion that not paying attention as you push a stroller is more important than a text. Most of us would say we value the life of our kids. But think deeper, there is a system of prioritizing mental and physical activities and demands that you learned as you grew up, or did not and learned out in the cruel world. The point is, this was ingrained in you from someone or some circumstances. Not everyone is exposed to the same people and circumstances and then where are they going to learn it? is it their fault that they did not have the privileged that many others of us have had? Not mentally prioritizing the safety of children of a text from Michael is not the same as not valuing the life of those kids. It works out differently in the brain.
    The judgement that many of us pass on those we see as stupid or unfit or whatever other label we use is nothing more than a reflection of our privilege. Who are we to decide whether someone else should or could procreate.
    Also, we don't know if this person has untreated ADHD, or is in an abusive relationship or what.

    For the record, I am not saying its OK to neglect children for the sake of a text. But ask yourself why you are posting, and why we are passing judgement, your motives aren't for the sake of the children either.
  • kateanne27
    kateanne27 Posts: 275 Member
    I have five kids... and I had them so that they can do more work around the house and I can do less.. mwa ha ha ha ha (i mean.. i loves them)
    My mom used to say that she had kids so someone else would do the dishes. Now the amount of other crap she had to do multiplied because of us, but she never did the dishes.... :)
  • HawkeyeTy
    HawkeyeTy Posts: 681 Member
    Meh.

    You're example isn't horrible...
  • hearthemelody
    hearthemelody Posts: 1,025 Member
    Well, parents become parents, when in the heat of passion, or the throes of love, they have s-e-x-!!!! Suddenly, the egg and sperm become a baby, who is born 9 months or so later. Problem is, the baby comes without a user manual, there is no test for common sense prior to conception and some parents just don't care enough to do a good job. ;-)

    http://www.amazon.com/The-Baby-Owners-Manual-Trouble-Shooting/dp/1594745978
  • Qskim
    Qskim Posts: 1,145 Member
    We all can lack good judgement as parents sometimes. Learn a lot from hindsight. It doesn't mean we aren't good parents.
  • Mr_Bad_Example
    Mr_Bad_Example Posts: 2,403 Member
    Meh.

    You're example isn't horrible...

    Actually... it kind of is.
  • melb_alex
    melb_alex Posts: 1,154 Member
    just like leaving your kids in the car even 'briefly'.

    The stats are high here; literally one kid every hour is dying as it's <40 degrees!

    Stupidity.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Scary!

    And if she is in abusive relationship and that was what led to her being unsafe with her children, then she needs to get help from a domestic violence center or the police or whatever she needs. There are resources and she is the adult/parent making the choices for her children. Just speaking as a former child that's been there (now a parent). I never blame the victim, but I do try to educate when I can.

    Whatever the circumstances, that should have been a wake-up call.
  • ladytinkerbell99
    ladytinkerbell99 Posts: 970 Member
    I ask this question often.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    Some people are parents because of irresponsible sexual practices.
  • ItsMeGee3
    ItsMeGee3 Posts: 13,254 Member
    You wouldn't believe what I see on a daily basis. Moms bring their kids to Court to "see Daddy," "Wave to Daddy" Daddy is the one chained up with an orange jumpsuit on. Disgusting
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,023 Member
    For the record, I am not saying its OK to neglect children for the sake of a text. But ask yourself why you are posting, and why we are passing judgement, your motives aren't for the sake of the children either.
    I posted it because I was appalled that a text was that important vs ensuring her children were safe. I observed it and gave my opinion. Whether or not you agree it was asinine or not doesn't change my opinion of it since if it were my own kids, I'd have waited to at least stop in a safer area before texting back.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
    For the record, I am not saying its OK to neglect children for the sake of a text. But ask yourself why you are posting, and why we are passing judgement, your motives aren't for the sake of the children either.
    I posted it because I was appalled that a text was that important vs ensuring her children were safe. I observed it and gave my opinion. Whether or not you agree it was asinine or not doesn't change my opinion of it since if it were my own kids, I'd have waited to at least stop in a safer area before texting back.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    From what I've seen of ninerbuff over the last year or so I totally believe he was doing it because of those children that were being totally neglected. She could have killed them and he tried to help. You are so wrong.
  • HealthyVitamins
    HealthyVitamins Posts: 432 Member
    The judgement that many of us pass on those we see as stupid or unfit or whatever other label we use is nothing more than a reflection of our privilege. Who are we to decide whether someone else should or could procreate.
    Also, we don't know if this person has untreated ADHD, or is in an abusive relationship or what.

    For the record, I am not saying its OK to neglect children for the sake of a text. But ask yourself why you are posting, and why we are passing judgement, your motives aren't for the sake of the children either.

    here comes the PC brigade...
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
    The judgement that many of us pass on those we see as stupid or unfit or whatever other label we use is nothing more than a reflection of our privilege. Who are we to decide whether someone else should or could procreate.
    Also, we don't know if this person has untreated ADHD, or is in an abusive relationship or what.

    For the record, I am not saying its OK to neglect children for the sake of a text. But ask yourself why you are posting, and why we are passing judgement, your motives aren't for the sake of the children either.

    here comes the PC brigade...

    The children should come first. If She has ADHD then get on medication, if in an abusive relationship....well guess what there is help out there and you don't need to risk your childrens lives because of that either. FFS.
  • HealthyVitamins
    HealthyVitamins Posts: 432 Member
    The judgement that many of us pass on those we see as stupid or unfit or whatever other label we use is nothing more than a reflection of our privilege. Who are we to decide whether someone else should or could procreate.
    Also, we don't know if this person has untreated ADHD, or is in an abusive relationship or what.

    For the record, I am not saying its OK to neglect children for the sake of a text. But ask yourself why you are posting, and why we are passing judgement, your motives aren't for the sake of the children either.

    here comes the PC brigade...

    The children should come first. If She has ADHD then get on medication, if in an abusive relationship....well guess what there is help out there and you don't need to risk your childrens lives because of that either. FFS.

    Not sure if your quote was directed at me, or the person I quoted?

    I said here comes the PC brigade about the person I quoted because there is always one person who has to bring possibilities of ADHD or abusive relationships into a topic to be politically correct and everyone's friend.
  • rubixcyoob
    rubixcyoob Posts: 395
    I'll admit I have texted someone while pushing my sons pram - but in places like public parks, or stopped at the side of the indoor shopping centre etc. Never near a road or anything of the likes.

    I wouldn't say the girl was neglecting her children based on that sole piece of information, and maybe it was a completely one-off isolated incident and it was unfortunate to happen at that moment in time, but I would say she needs to be more careful.

    One incident like that does not mean she doesn't care about her children; doesn't do her utmost to ensure their safety and well-being: it doesn't mean she is a terrible parent. What it does mean is that she needs to have a look at her priorities at given times, and rearrange them.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    First of all it happened. And then second of all she responded by defending her actions.

    Thankfully ninerbuff was there to save her children. And I'm sure it was unsettling to see and experience that, to say the least. It's not "privileged judgement" to talk about that (in response to the other poster that said so), not by any stretch. What if he had not been there to save her children! Think about that. His "motives" were for saving the children.

    I don't think it's any different from texting and driving. And there are PSA's about that. You can't be focused on texting while in motion and not encounter potential disaster. I've seen people walk right in front of my car doing that, fall over top my baby stroller. And videos of people falling into fountains. It's funny when it's just a person falling in a fountain. Not funny when it's children falling into traffic.
  • rubixcyoob
    rubixcyoob Posts: 395
    First of all it happened. And then second of all she responded by defending her actions.

    Thankfully ninerbuff was there to save her children. And I'm sure it was unsettling to see and experience that, to say the least. It's not "privileged judgement" to talk about that (in response to the other poster that said so), not by any stretch. What if he had not been there to save her children! Think about that. His "motives" were for saving the children.

    I don't think it's any different from texting and driving. And there are PSA's about that. You can't be focused on texting while in motion and not encounter potential disaster. I've seen people walk right in front of my car doing that, fall over top my baby stroller. And videos of people falling into fountains. It's funny when it's just a person falling in a fountain. Not funny when it's children falling into traffic.

    If aimed at me I completely agree. Thankfully someone was there to help, and god forbid she was alone. However, that one incident may be the only incident she's ever had, or will ever have, and that alone cannot justify people saying she shouldn't be a parent, is neglectful etc.

    Being on a phone while pushing a stroller takes just as much attention as talking on a phone, talking to someone else etc - just as it does in a car.

    She isn't a neglectful parent, she isn't a bad parent (and based on that one incident I don't see why she shouldn't be a parent) but she does need to become a more careful, prioritised person in general - even if she weren't pushing a stroller, she may have wandered into busy traffic alone because she was texting.

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