How are some parents parents?

ninerbuff

I'll admit I have texted someone while pushing my sons pram - but in places like public parks, or stopped at the side of the indoor shopping centre etc. Never near a road or anything of the likes.

I wouldn't say the girl was neglecting her children based on that sole piece of information, and maybe it was a completely one-off isolated incident and it was unfortunate to happen at that moment in time, but I would say she needs to be more careful.

One incident like that does not mean she doesn't care about her children; doesn't do her utmost to ensure their safety and well-being: it doesn't mean she is a terrible parent. What it does mean is that she needs to have a look at her priorities at given times, and rearrange them.

I don't know the person. I don't know her situation. I just responded to the incident I encountered and heard. For all I know she could be a good parent, but what happened indicated to me that her kids safety wasn't entirely on her mind at the time.

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rubixcyoob

I'll admit I have texted someone while pushing my sons pram - but in places like public parks, or stopped at the side of the indoor shopping centre etc. Never near a road or anything of the likes.

I wouldn't say the girl was neglecting her children based on that sole piece of information, and maybe it was a completely one-off isolated incident and it was unfortunate to happen at that moment in time, but I would say she needs to be more careful.

One incident like that does not mean she doesn't care about her children; doesn't do her utmost to ensure their safety and well-being: it doesn't mean she is a terrible parent. What it does mean is that she needs to have a look at her priorities at given times, and rearrange them.

I don't know the person. I don't know her situation. I just responded to the incident I encountered and heard. For all I know she could be a good parent, but what happened indicated to me that her kids safety wasn't entirely on her mind at the time.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

I wasn't having a go at you per say, more the people who are making the negative comments. Thankfully you were there to help the girl, but I just feel it is wrong for everyone to jump on the negative, labeling bandwagon.

kateanne27

The judgement that many of us pass on those we see as stupid or unfit or whatever other label we use is nothing more than a reflection of our privilege. Who are we to decide whether someone else should or could procreate.
Also, we don't know if this person has untreated ADHD, or is in an abusive relationship or what.

For the record, I am not saying its OK to neglect children for the sake of a text. But ask yourself why you are posting, and why we are passing judgement, your motives aren't for the sake of the children either.

here comes the PC brigade...

The children should come first. If She has ADHD then get on medication, if in an abusive relationship....well guess what there is help out there and you don't need to risk your childrens lives because of that either. FFS.

Not sure if your quote was directed at me, or the person I quoted?

I said here comes the PC brigade about the person I quoted because there is always one person who has to bring possibilities of ADHD or abusive relationships into a topic to be politically correct and everyone's friend.

I assumed it was directed at my response. I agree there is always someone who brings in other possibilities, I am fine with that being me.
In my work I have become familiar with very diverse socioeconomic communities and undeserved populations, it has been my experience that everyone who does something like this girl did, which we view, rightly so as irresponsible, has a story, and generally that irresponsibility comes from a lack of something much more fundamental, which they are at no fault for lacking. Knowledge, the ability to prioritize, certain types of mental skills and values, and smooth functioning neurological connections are in fact privileges, I have learned. Privileges denied those in marginalized or undeserved populations as a symptom of poverty or lack of community resources.
That's why I am passionate about not judging, judging the poor or otherwise marginalized is very trendy right now, but it only serves to further marginalize, creating greater problems. Too often we fail to recognize our own privileged and how it impacts our views on others who are less privileged.

kateanne27

For the record, I am not saying its OK to neglect children for the sake of a text. But ask yourself why you are posting, and why we are passing judgement, your motives aren't for the sake of the children either.

I posted it because I was appalled that a text was that important vs ensuring her children were safe. I observed it and gave my opinion. Whether or not you agree it was asinine or not doesn't change my opinion of it since if it were my own kids, I'd have waited to at least stop in a safer area before texting back.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

From what I've seen of ninerbuff over the last year or so I totally believe he was doing it because of those children that were being totally neglected. She could have killed them and he tried to help. You are so wrong.

It is good he was there to help, obviously intervening at the time was good for those children, my qualm was posting the incident under the title 'how are some people parents?' Posing the incident here with that connotation does nothing to help the children, all it does is give people an outlet to judge an incident that is over.

Rak0ribz

Some people are parents because of irresponsible sexual practices.

Actually, my irresponsible sexual practices have gone _waaaay_ down since I became a parent.

BinaryPulsar

I agree that we can't judge a person's entire ability to be a parent based on one incident. And too often in very benign situations people do that.

k8blujay2

I ask myself that question all the time... I swear the movie Idiocracy is a prophecy...

BinaryPulsar

The judgement that many of us pass on those we see as stupid or unfit or whatever other label we use is nothing more than a reflection of our privilege. Who are we to decide whether someone else should or could procreate.
Also, we don't know if this person has untreated ADHD, or is in an abusive relationship or what.

For the record, I am not saying its OK to neglect children for the sake of a text. But ask yourself why you are posting, and why we are passing judgement, your motives aren't for the sake of the children either.

here comes the PC brigade...

The children should come first. If She has ADHD then get on medication, if in an abusive relationship....well guess what there is help out there and you don't need to risk your childrens lives because of that either. FFS.

Not sure if your quote was directed at me, or the person I quoted?

I said here comes the PC brigade about the person I quoted because there is always one person who has to bring possibilities of ADHD or abusive relationships into a topic to be politically correct and everyone's friend.

I assumed it was directed at my response. I agree there is always someone who brings in other possibilities, I am fine with that being me.
In my work I have become familiar with very diverse socioeconomic communities and undeserved populations, it has been my experience that everyone who does something like this girl did, which we view, rightly so as irresponsible, has a story, and generally that irresponsibility comes from a lack of something much more fundamental, which they are at no fault for lacking. Knowledge, the ability to prioritize, certain types of mental skills and values, and smooth functioning neurological connections are in fact privileges, I have learned. Privileges denied those in marginalized or undeserved populations as a symptom of poverty or lack of community resources.
That's why I am passionate about not judging, judging the poor or otherwise marginalized is very trendy right now, but it only serves to further marginalize, creating greater problems. Too often we fail to recognize our own privileged and how it impacts our views on others who are less privileged.

I understand where you are coming from. It is extremely presumptuous to assume you know the background of others, though.

My only points were:

1) There is help out there for parents to utilize when needed. Please consider it. I say this having grown up in a low income and abusive home.
2) Don't text and walk. Don't text and drive.
3) When things like this happen take it as a wake up call. Everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes are to learn from.