Excuses? How not to cause offence?

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  • Maggie1960
    Maggie1960 Posts: 322
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    Brilliant replies - thanks everyone!:flowerforyou: I won't be guilt-tripped into putting bad stuff into my body to save someone from getting hurt feelings. It is MY body and I am working hard to get slender and healthy. No-one is going to sabotage my plans!:smile:
  • CeleryStalker
    CeleryStalker Posts: 665 Member
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    LOL thanks Kminor!

    I'm just baffled. Why on earth would the woman be majorly offended? I'd be tempted to find out about her own dietary restrictions or dislikes, then make a special dish consisting of nothing but stuff she either can't eat due to health reasons or finds absolutely disgusting, push it on her, and the act like a buffoon when she declined the offer.

    Then I might be so inclined to leave it on the hood of her car, but that's just me. LOL
  • bellinachuchina
    bellinachuchina Posts: 498 Member
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    When I was working in an office last year, I found it difficult at first to not be the "weirdo dieter". People would bring any junk food you can think of, in abundance, all the time! The first 10-20 times I declined their offers, I would get made fun of, talked about, etc. It bothered me a bit, but I knew that I was the only one with self control. Eventually, they began to respect my willpower, and wouldn't even ask me as frequently as they had before. They would say, "Wow, I wish I had your determination!", and some even embarked on their own weight loss journeys. So don't worry, be open about it, maybe your example will inspire your coworkers, as it did mine!
  • Jenks
    Jenks Posts: 349
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    Wish I would have had your willpower today....
    You See what would feel worse to YOU offending the baker or giving in and feeling like Jenks!?

    OUCH....but true :grumble:
  • baker_c
    baker_c Posts: 251 Member
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    I had the same issue at work - The cake and goodies were brought in and I was given a slice of cake, all I said - I can't eat it, it will raise my blood sugar. Now, if I don't eat - no one forces the issue - everyone thinks I'm a diabetic, but at least they are not focing the issue and nobody is disappointed if I don't eat their goodies.
  • iplayoutside19
    iplayoutside19 Posts: 2,304 Member
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    Just say no thanks.

    If they persist I tell them it's not apart of the plan. Since I have been a big guy all of my life, groups that I'm apart of tend to expect me to clean up what's left. I haven't been like that in 18 months but it still happens.
  • jennylynn84
    jennylynn84 Posts: 659
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    Just say no. And I wouldn't worry about letting them know you're on a diet, it will save this problem in the future. They may all think you're nuts because you're "so skinny!" (I get this sometimes - comparatively, I guess I am, but not really.) But after a while you'll just be "the thin lady on a diet" and they'll move on from pushing it on you. It's pretty expected at my office these days that when we have birthday cake (we have a WHOLE cake for every INDIVIDUAL birthday) I'm probably not partaking, especially if its cookie cake (most innocent-looking yet evil cake we've ever had). Sometimes I bring my granola bar or afternoon snack into the conference room to eat while they have cake. I'm sure they think I'm completely bonkers.
  • NH_1970
    NH_1970 Posts: 544 Member
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    Stick to your guns. You handled it well.

    I just say, "No thank you." 90% of the time, people can accept that. The other 10% of the time, my resistance increases in direct proportion to their persistence.
    You are wise oh, Obiwan. I love this!

    and I would have told the truth, I'm dieting that's filled with calories I'm sure it's great but if I even give in a little it will make the way for a whole range of giving ins, Thank You so much it looks so good, it smells so good, but I have to do what's right for me and my health.

    and if they're all overweight I don't think I've ever run into another fat woman who has said -You suck for losing weight, usually they want to know how I'm doing it. Maybe I've just been lucky with that.
  • islandnutshel
    islandnutshel Posts: 1,143 Member
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    I am gluten free, so that comes in handy. But would "my stomach is feeling a little touchy right now" work? It's vauge enough. or "that looks fantastic but I am off sweets for now". Or blunt, honest and friendly: "You were very generous to make that for us but I am trying to change my eating habits and am avoiding temptations right now, but thaks I appreciate the gesture." Some people don't want to hear it, because they feel it is a judgment regarding what they eat. So be it.
  • Suedre
    Suedre Posts: 435 Member
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    I get this about once a week. Somebody wants to go eat pizza or BBQ for lunch or its doughnut week. Yeah, they make fun of me for grabbing a sandwich at the grocery store next door and brining it in the BBQ place, but quite frankly I do not enjoy eating like that anymore. It isn't even about being on a diet. It's about gourging on BBQ and Texas toast only to get back to my desk with a queasy stomach and heavy eyes. When I say that that I'm allergic to BBQ, I'm not kidding! :)

    As a side note, I also turn down the homemade cookies, brownies, and other sweets by not even acknowledging them. I never say things like "I sure wish I could eat that" or "must be nice not to worry about calories" If people directly ask, I go with a simple no thank you. I have taken and thrown it away when they weren't looking, but that was Christmas time and I just felt wrong dissing it when I had just told her how much I loved chocolate chip cookies! :)
  • CeleryStalker
    CeleryStalker Posts: 665 Member
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    lol Sue, you know me in real life....verify I'd have sought the revenge I described below.... mwah hahahahaha
  • Paige1108
    Paige1108 Posts: 432 Member
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    When I quite eating sugar I had this problem all the time. "But it's my birthday, have just one piece of cake with me.". And I just stuck to my "No, thank you". I knew I wanted this change to be for the rest of my life and I didn't want to spend my life thinking up excuses and coming up with little white lies. So it was always just the simple truth "No Thank you, I don't eat sugar." Now, 8 years later, it's just accepted that I won't have the b-day cake or split the dessert.
  • kaeelle
    kaeelle Posts: 24 Member
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    You know what, they may be overweight as well, but you've made a choice for what's best for your body. Just because you're more slim than they are doesn't mean that you're as healthy as you'd like to be. Just let them know you're dieting, be upfront, and ask them to join you, or at least be supportive. I've done the same at my work. If negative comments come? Just say "hey, I don't tell you guys what you should eat." and let them know that you've made the decision to get healthy for yourself. Maybe, if you let them know that you want to be healthier, you'll inspire them to do so as well. That's what it took for me... was an extra nudge in the right direction.
  • Suedre
    Suedre Posts: 435 Member
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    lol Sue, you know me in real life....verify I'd have sought the revenge I described below.... mwah hahahahaha

    Yep, it's true.
  • Suedre
    Suedre Posts: 435 Member
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    lol Sue, you know me in real life....verify I'd have sought the revenge I described below.... mwah hahahahaha

    Yep, it's true.
  • Skinnytime
    Skinnytime Posts: 279
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    Ditto SallyLunn and anyone else who said take it, take one bite, praise it to high heaven and then hide it until you can trash it. I don't like hurt feelings, and this way, no one is offended and you get to keep your calories for something else.
  • gnrshelton
    gnrshelton Posts: 358 Member
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    If you really hate saying your on a diet and you know they react badly you could always say it causes migraines. Which by the way chocolate really does give some migraines. Your not saying it gives YOU migraines just that it does. You wouldn't be lying.:happy: I personally don't care I say I'm trying to eat better. But Thank You anyway. I don't say diet because its not.
    I think she was either jealous that you had will power and wanted to break you or she to darn sensitive. Good for you that you resisted temptation.
  • LotusF1ower
    LotusF1ower Posts: 1,259 Member
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    I am also in a similar situation, I am the 'slim one' out of the 3 of us women in our office and it's always tough when I am dieting as they just don't understand.

    Earlier I tried the 'I don't eat biscuits anymore' line because I know if I have one, I'll want another and another. Maybe you could try something similar?

    Spot on what I was going to suggest! Also, it is true isn't it, eat carb stuff and it makes more cravings (well it does for me anyway), that in itself is enough of a reason I think.

    To the OP, I know it is difficult and people (especially if they are bigger than you) do not understand, but stick to your guns, because if you don't, it is you who will have to sort your weight out in the end, not them. :flowerforyou:
  • PJilly
    PJilly Posts: 21,743 Member
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    ...maybe your reason is none of her business...
    My favorite response ever! :happy:
  • SaveTheDrama
    SaveTheDrama Posts: 62
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    I think you did well. You do not owe anyone an explanantion. I have blood sugar issues so my excuse is easy and they can't really get mad for me not wanting to make myself sick.

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