Unhelpful work colleagues

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  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
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    Beware - these are the very same people who, when a time comes that you decide "yes, I will have a treat today" (for whatever your reasons may be), will then start with all the "I thought you were watching what you eat" blah blah blah ...

    Develop a thick skin and stick to your convictions.
  • kjoy_
    kjoy_ Posts: 316 Member
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    lol yeah but i just put it back on the table. it happens. people think that they're being nice when they do things like that so i wouldn't worry too much about it. if it's a willpower issue, tell them exactly why you are not eating it instead of just "no thanks"
  • spickard34
    spickard34 Posts: 303 Member
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    A coworker of mine does this she knows I always watch what I eat and kept bring them. I would just take it and give it to one of the guys at my work or go as far as throw it out. I am the type one sweet things especially early in the day throws my whole day off wack. I know its a head thing but it still messes with me. The last time she left it on my desk and I returned it to her and said sorry but I wont eat this but thanks for thinking of me. She responded but you aren't fat you don't need a diet who cares it is just one snack and I told her why do you think Im not fat now because I don't eat this stuff anymore and walked away.
  • sassyjae21
    sassyjae21 Posts: 1,217 Member
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    They aren't there to help you.

    But they shouldn't be intentionally trying to set you up for failure either; RUDE. Just throw it out. Or just eat it sometimes. :D
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
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    I have had a brilliant idea. Get a can of that rotted shark stuff from Denmark/ Iceland or wherever, offer them the closed can. When they decline, open the can and throw it on their desk. Run away shouting 'I'm only trying to be nice!'

    :laugh: You're awesome.

    If I didn't want whatever it was they put on my desk, I'd put it right back where they got it. Let someone else have it.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    Does anyone work with someone who, despite them thinking they are being helpful and keeping you cheerful by bringing in cakes, and despite them knowing you have been carefully eating for the last two weeks to keep within your respective calorie counts, still insist on putting them on your desk even after you've said "no thankyou"...?

    I think bringing cake to your co-workers is a nice thing to do. But "unhelpful" is another way to look at it, I suppose ...

    Look, I have been and am on both sides of this. I've lost a lot of weight, so I've had to say no to free food at the office on many occasions (and still do). I also love to bake, so I bring stuff to work all the time. So I'm going to explain to you what goes through the mind of someone who likes to bake things for other people. We are care-takers by nature. We enjoy giving things to people. We tend to consider the needs and wants and feelings of everyone. And we think that even though you've said "no, thanks" many times, there still might be a day when you wish we had brought enough for you. So we always bring enough for you, and we always make sure you know you are welcome to have some.

    While it is certainly possible to fit cake into your diet, I am not going to be that person who says "Oh, you can do it every now and then" because I understand that "every now and then" becomes "all the time." So you're under no obligation of any kind to eat the cake. Throw it away or leave it in the break room for someone else. But try to understand they aren't intentionally being "unhelpful" to you. They are trying to show kindness to you.
  • aNewYear123
    aNewYear123 Posts: 279 Member
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    Does anyone work with someone who, despite them thinking they are being helpful and keeping you cheerful by bringing in cakes, and despite them knowing you have been carefully eating for the last two weeks to keep within your respective calorie counts, still insist on putting them on your desk even after you've said "no thankyou"...?

    I think bringing cake to your co-workers is a nice thing to do. But "unhelpful" is another way to look at it, I suppose ...

    Look, I have been and am on both sides of this. I've lost a lot of weight, so I've had to say no to free food at the office on many occasions (and still do). I also love to bake, so I bring stuff to work all the time. So I'm going to explain to you what goes through the mind of someone who likes to bake things for other people. We are care-takers by nature. We enjoy giving things to people. We tend to consider the needs and wants and feelings of everyone. And we think that even though you've said "no, thanks" many times, there still might be a day when you wish we had brought enough for you. So we always bring enough for you, and we always make sure you know you are welcome to have some.

    While it is certainly possible to fit cake into your diet, I am not going to be that person who says "Oh, you can do it every now and then" because I understand that "every now and then" becomes "all the time." So you're under no obligation of any kind to eat the cake. Throw it away or leave it in the break room for someone else. But try to understand they aren't intentionally being "unhelpful" to you. They are trying to show kindness to you.

    ^^This

    I tend to just bring in the baked goods and leave them in the break room, if you want it take it. If I did hand items out individually (which seems weird to me) I would offer to everyone, even if I know you are on a diet, because I am not the food police to tell you not to eat something and maybe today is the day you feel like a treat.
  • 1shauna1
    1shauna1 Posts: 993 Member
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    They know you are clearly not happy, that is why you are trying to change. So they are not doing it to be nice. They don't want you succeeding and reminding them of all the failures in their own lives.
    I don't know if I'd go THAT far, maybe some people. I just think some people are truly clueless that what they do doesn't help. So just politely say no thank you, and if they say, well I'll just leave it here for you, let them. You can decide if you want to throw it out or give it away later.
  • therealblackdahlia
    therealblackdahlia Posts: 3,110 Member
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    Yes, yes and yes. There are plenty of food pushers at work. I don't accept the food and I get 'it will personally offend me if you don't have something.'

    I don't eat white four and they continually try to get me to eat doughnuts! What gives?

    Sometimes I just except the item and throw it in the trash. I'd rather they respected that I eat what I want and when I want. I'm an adult!

    Best,
    BD
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
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    Does anyone work with someone who, despite them thinking they are being helpful and keeping you cheerful by bringing in cakes, and despite them knowing you have been carefully eating for the last two weeks to keep within your respective calorie counts, still insist on putting them on your desk even after you've said "no thankyou"...?

    I think bringing cake to your co-workers is a nice thing to do. But "unhelpful" is another way to look at it, I suppose ...

    Look, I have been and am on both sides of this. I've lost a lot of weight, so I've had to say no to free food at the office on many occasions (and still do). I also love to bake, so I bring stuff to work all the time. So I'm going to explain to you what goes through the mind of someone who likes to bake things for other people. We are care-takers by nature. We enjoy giving things to people. We tend to consider the needs and wants and feelings of everyone. And we think that even though you've said "no, thanks" many times, there still might be a day when you wish we had brought enough for you. So we always bring enough for you, and we always make sure you know you are welcome to have some.

    While it is certainly possible to fit cake into your diet, I am not going to be that person who says "Oh, you can do it every now and then" because I understand that "every now and then" becomes "all the time." So you're under no obligation of any kind to eat the cake. Throw it away or leave it in the break room for someone else. But try to understand they aren't intentionally being "unhelpful" to you. They are trying to show kindness to you.

    ^^This

    I tend to just bring in the baked goods and leave them in the break room, if you want it take it. If I did hand items out individually (which seems weird to me) I would offer to everyone, even if I know you are on a diet, because I am not the food police to tell you not to eat something and maybe today is the day you feel like a treat.

    quite true. I've had coworkers who just love to bake (I do myself), and then bring in the goodies and leave 'em out for whoever chooses to partake. Those who are dieting choose not to. I do think it's rude to just put it on someone's desk after they've politely refused, though.
  • asianmonkie
    asianmonkie Posts: 264
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    Make yourself look skinny by making the people around you fat :D

    I have learned the art of pawning my goodies to other people especially during the holidays. If I got the goodies from work, I'd bring it home for everyone else to eat. If I got the goodies from home, I'd bring it to work for my co-workers to eat. Problem solved! :D
  • chopper_pilot
    chopper_pilot Posts: 191 Member
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    Part of changing your lifestyle is accepting personal responsibility.

    You ever see someone practicing shooting a bow and arrow- i mean when they first learn?

    There is always a teacher there standing on their right, watching them aim... breathe.... and just before they let loose... the instructor leans in and blows on their ear or makes a noise or startles them... and they miss their mark on their shot.

    And this happens over and over and over until the apprentice can aim shoot and hit their target amid distraction.

    Because you don't live in a controlled environment, whether at war or on a diet. There will be distractions always. You have to learn how to aim, shoot and hit your mark, no matter who is distracting you.

    You have to hone your own skills so that you can still thrive and advance amid distractions.

    Because if you concentrate on eliminating all the distractions or blaming all the distractions, instead of learning to work with them... then you'll never run out of enemies.

    Stop fighting distraction. Spend that effort perfecting your focus and determination.
  • jennybennypenny
    jennybennypenny Posts: 90 Member
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    I have a coworker/friend who bakes A LOT, and she's really good at it--I mean, salted caramel brownie cookie sandwiches? And made from scratch? Wow. Generally she's really proud of whatever she bakes, and will tell me about it and then bring me in one the next day. Sometimes these things are HUGE calorie bombs. What do I do? *If* I want to eat it I check my diary to see if I can swap out a few things to make it fit. Or even half of whatever it is to make it fit and leave the other half at work to eat the next day. (I'll put it in my desk drawer or the office fridge or something so it's not staring me in the face all day.) Or take it home and give it to my husband. Or take it to [sports] and give it to a teammate. If I don't think it's worth it or I don't really like whatever it is she baked, I won't eat it. You ultimately control what goes in your mouth.

    The person who's giving you food is doing it because that's what they used to do and you used to like them doing it. You need to figure out how you are you going to handle it. If that means throwing it away, throw it away. If that means taking one bite and throwing it away, do that. It was really hard for me at first, but don't feel like the food is taking you hostage :)
  • JasonAxelrod
    JasonAxelrod Posts: 58 Member
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    If you've made it very clear to this person that this is not acceptable because it does the exact opposite of support your efforts, and they are STILL doing it, go and speak with HR and let them handle it.

    No, that is not an overreaction.

    You don't need to deal with this and if you can't get it through their head that they are being disruptive to your comfort of living and your workplace environment, HR definitely will.
  • chopper_pilot
    chopper_pilot Posts: 191 Member
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    SMDH

    SMDH
  • chopper_pilot
    chopper_pilot Posts: 191 Member
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    people will use any excuse to blame others for their own lack of willpower.
  • 9chimera11
    9chimera11 Posts: 40 Member
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    No one really understand what it is like to be on a weight-loss journey unless they have taken it themselves. So don't be too harsh on your colleagues if they do a nice thing such as sharing a piece of cake with you.

    Instead why not just take it, say 'thank you' and then just throw it away discreetly. This way everyone's happy. :)
  • Chezzie84
    Chezzie84 Posts: 873 Member
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    Does anyone work with someone who, despite them thinking they are being helpful and keeping you cheerful by bringing in cakes, and despite them knowing you have been carefully eating for the last two weeks to keep within your respective calorie counts, still insist on putting them on your desk even after you've said "no thankyou"...?

    Fortunately I have extremely supportive colleagues who do not tempt me with things I don't want to have.
    Unfortunately I am not so lucky with members of my family.
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
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    No idea what your stats are but if you're too skinny, it could be a polite attempt at a hint.
  • mtikky
    mtikky Posts: 53 Member
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    No idea what your stats are but if you're too skinny, it could be a polite attempt at a hint.

    5' 10", 279lb when I weighed myself six days ago, XXXL polo shirts.

    Thanks for the mostly positive feedback from everyone. "Just say no" seems to be the predominant answer.

    chopper_pilot I have no issue with willpower... it's when cakes are brought in and put directly onto your desk even after saying no thankyou, is what I was debating about. I know I don't need or want cake, I want less X's in my shirt size. I can however understand that you may have been sceptical about my OP. Since I ended up speaking to my work colleague, I haven't been offered any more 'bad' foods, and it seems to have cleared the air and made for a better working environment. Plus I cut another 25 seconds off my 2000m row time in the office gym this morning...

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