Going on a date with someone I'm not interested in?

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Replies

  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
    haha... no girl! If they ask you, they pay!!! U didn't know that?
  • transmute
    transmute Posts: 50 Member
    The last time I was honest with a guy about not being interested, he called me ugly and fat lol. I'm not too good at this.

    That's when you laugh your *kitten* off and say "and you're such a catch that even UGLY FAT GIRLS are rejecting you!" and then continue to laugh your *kitten* off until you need to be hospitalized for an inability to breathe. The insecurity of *kitten* is hilarious (but damn, doesn't it make you wish you HAD gone on that date with him... not)
  • HealthWoke0ish
    HealthWoke0ish Posts: 2,078 Member
    You can be kind, but make sure you are clear.

    Otherwise...
    image.png
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    just say no if you arent interested.


    what if he did this with sex? would you eventually give in to his steve urkel "i'm gonna wear you down, baby" approach? :laugh:
  • bd0027
    bd0027 Posts: 1,053 Member
    haha... no girl! If they ask you, they pay!!! U didn't know that?

    I don't wanna make him pay for my meal if I'm not interested though. I'm too nice I guess lol.
    That's when you laugh your *kitten* off and say "and you're such a catch that even UGLY FAT GIRLS are rejecting you!" and then continue to laugh your *kitten* off until you need to be hospitalized for an inability to breathe. The insecurity of *kitten* is hilarious (but damn, doesn't it make you wish you HAD gone on that date with him... not)


    I always say something similar to, "and this is why we're NEVER going on a date. (:"
    You can be kind, but make sure you are clear.

    I'll keep that in mind so I don't end up getting endless texts about a second date haha.
    just say no if you arent interested.
    what if he did this with sex? would you eventually give in to his steve urkel "i'm gonna wear you down, baby" approach?

    Yes. Yes I would.
  • Sweetnothing78
    Sweetnothing78 Posts: 86 Member
    Put him in the friend zone.

    scrubs-friend-zone-o.gif
  • Okapi42
    Okapi42 Posts: 495 Member
    I have a similar problem with a friend at the moment. The worst part is, he's also my housemate, so he's always right there!
  • davert123
    davert123 Posts: 1,568 Member
    If you have been pretty obvious you are not interested then I would keep saying no to him because he isn't respecting what you want and therefore perhaps he isn't as nice as he seems. If you have been wooly about it then that may be different. Is there any chance you would go on another date after the first if you didn't feel anything just because he nagged you senseless. If there is a chance of this I would suggest you just say no now and repeat it as many times as you need to.

    good luck
  • nytrifisoul
    nytrifisoul Posts: 499 Member
    I don't want to hurt his feelings but I don't want to lead him on. That's why I suggested that I go on the date but pay for my part of it. I feel bad.

    Im a guy so i know some guys can be persistent. Just tell him you aint into him like that, but if he wants to go out to eat or whatever that you will but he is paying and dont expect anything in return. He will either respect that and you get a free meal, or he will give up and leave you alone.....Win/Win
  • the_dude00
    the_dude00 Posts: 1,056 Member
    Just tell him straight up you're not interested. One shot to head and it will kill his hope to catch you and let me immediately move one. Sometimes girls try to be too nice in their rejections and end up letting the guy emotionally bleed to death over a couple or few months months before they'll let the feeling go
  • ModernNerd
    ModernNerd Posts: 336 Member
    Downvoting this idea big time. I've got a twin brother so I've seen the guy's side of this, and in my opinion it's not particularly respectful. Man up, tell him clearly that you're not interested, and leave him be. You'd be playing him for a fool by leading him on (and telling yourself it isn't a date despite his obvious interest in you is just silly), and you'd be wasting both your time.

    Credentials: 21 years of experience as executive guard-dog twin sister :flowerforyou:
  • tumblyweed
    tumblyweed Posts: 416 Member
    Just...say...no
  • thatonegirlwiththestuff
    thatonegirlwiththestuff Posts: 1,171 Member
    tell him you can't because you're moving to yemen.

    tumblr_mrzqycHCXR1rb97lyo3_250.gif

    :laugh:
  • bd0027
    bd0027 Posts: 1,053 Member
    Just tell him straight up you're not interested. One shot to head and it will kill his hope to catch you and let me immediately move one. Sometimes girls try to be too nice in their rejections and end up letting the guy emotionally bleed to death over a couple or few months months before they'll let the feeling go

    He's asked me out multiple times over the past year I'd say. Makes me feel really crappy now lol.
  • vienna_h
    vienna_h Posts: 428 Member
    Noooo. I've done that too, NOT WORTH IT.

    You don't have to be 'nice' to these kinds of people. You need to cut all ties. They get all obsessed and somehow it becomes 'your fault' and there is something wrong with 'you' instead of them. You've been nice already and have made yourself clear: you are not interested - yet they persist. It's a huge red flag alert of someone not mentally balanced.

    People like this are selfish and make you feel bad for doing nothing wrong. Stop communicating with him. Delete from facebook.
  • trainingman123
    trainingman123 Posts: 58 Member
    I would break the news to him, and nip a potential problem in the bud. No point in leading him on if you are not interested. Same goes with other facts of life, like a salesman selling you stuff you don't want. Do you say "sure come in and tell me about the stuff you're selling that no one wants" or do you say "goodbye"? Same thing.
  • Tigg_er
    Tigg_er Posts: 22,001 Member
    The last time I was honest with a guy about not being interested, he called me ugly and fat lol. I'm not too good at this.

    If he said that it should make you feel good that you made the right choice. What a dirtbag ! Trust yourself , you will be happier in the long run.
  • spacelump
    spacelump Posts: 233 Member
    You never know. Try and be honest after you give him a chance, I say.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    usually when someone does not take my simple "no"

    I then tell them how not attracted to them I am so they leave me alone (but most of the time they insult my appearance like the vile maggot I knew they were ) and then stomp off ..confirming my initial feeling of them being disgusting
  • bd0027
    bd0027 Posts: 1,053 Member
    I would break the news to him, and nip a potential problem in the bud. No point in leading him on if you are not interested. Same goes with other facts of life, like a salesman selling you stuff you don't want. Do you say "sure come in and tell me about the stuff you're selling that no one wants" or do you say "goodbye"? Same thing.

    I actually let the salesman tell me about the product and then reply with something like, "maybe next time." lol. I'm too nice I guess. Thanks for all the replies though. (:
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    This means you're going to the date, right? :laugh: :laugh:

    I'm joking, I'm joking.
    Unless you're going to the date? :tongue:
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    well, what's wrong with him, why AREN'T you interested in him.

    She said he was a nice guy in the original post. That's the reason. Nice guys don't excite women from an emotional standpoint. They are the khaki pants of people.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    Considering the original question, don't bother going on the date. If you are not into him, and you've made up your mind already, it is going to be a waste of time for both of you. Just say that you are not interested and you are never going to be interested. Say you'd rather him spend his time focused on better prospects.
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    She said he was a nice guy in the original post. That's the reason. Nice guys don't excite women from an emotional standpoint. They are the khaki pants of people.

    once again, you've missed another golden opportunity to keep your piehole shut.

    :yawn:
  • snowbear1005
    snowbear1005 Posts: 79 Member
    Stop making excuses and just tell him you're not interested. Be direct, be clear, and be firm. Otherwise, you'll never see the end of him.
  • Sapphire3002
    Sapphire3002 Posts: 112 Member
    In my opinion it is better to be clear that you are not interested instead of letting him get his hopes up by going out with him. If he has asked you out that many times you saying yes to the date will put him on a high and he may get frantic when you let him down on the date because of all the hope he's coming down off of. If you really do want to still go out let it be known you are going to hang out as friends so there's less pressure on both ends. You sound like a really nice person I'm sure that is why he's so into you, but don't feel bad about going for what you want as well. That is what he is doing right? :)
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
    Don't go. Just be honest, it's so much better that way. Why make the guy think there might be a chance?
  • kelly_e_montana
    kelly_e_montana Posts: 1,999 Member
    Don't do it, because it gives them hope when there isn't any. Then he starts to bother you even more because there's that glimmer of hope. I know from experience.

    ^^^^^^This.
  • kelly_e_montana
    kelly_e_montana Posts: 1,999 Member
    I would break the news to him, and nip a potential problem in the bud. No point in leading him on if you are not interested. Same goes with other facts of life, like a salesman selling you stuff you don't want. Do you say "sure come in and tell me about the stuff you're selling that no one wants" or do you say "goodbye"? Same thing.

    I actually let the salesman tell me about the product and then reply with something like, "maybe next time." lol. I'm too nice I guess. Thanks for all the replies though. (:

    Having been in sales and having been on dates, that's not actually the nicest way to go about it. Being nice is helping other people avoid putting effort into something that isn't going to work. Be direct; it's much more kind.
  • MsJulielicious
    MsJulielicious Posts: 708 Member
    It's not about being too nice. It's about a fear of confrontation.
    You don't want him. Be direct.
    That is "being nice"

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