fifty shades of grey

rml_16

Why will this not die? DIE!!!

I've never been one for banning or burning books until this one came along. Talk about dumbing down. GAH.

rml_16

this is not what a dominant and submissive relationship are supposed to reflect. it was an abusive relationship more than anything.

Theres a difference between a healthy Dominant sexual relationship and an Abusive relationship. If it gets your rocks off though, go for it. lol

x1!!!

With the history of domestic violence not being recognized as a crime, i'm surprised soooo many women love this series. HUGE difference between dominant and being a bully.

I have a friend who's constantly posting on FB about her husband being a narcissist, jealous, controlling and emotionally abusive. She read these books a few weeks ago and gushed about the "love story."

SMH

PikaKnight

Hate it for this reason. Mind you I am Ina D/s relationship.......those book are not about a sane BDSM relationship, it romanticize abuse

Following text not mine but reflex how I feel.
Wanna know the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.

So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.

Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive *kitten* who really can’t take no for an answer.

Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN ****ING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should ****ing know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.

Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a ****ing contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her *kitten* and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me ****ing started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.

****. This. book. It’s written in a ****ty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstand, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.

There were many posts I wanted to quote, but I'm going with Yanicka's. ^THIS. So much the above.^ I think this post (and the ones prior to this explaining just how bad both the scenes, writing, and the overall misrepresentation that book just released upon the world) pretty much says it all.

vjohn04

I found it dull & repetitive.. :yawn:

^this.

PikaKnight

Also, if you want bdsm erotica I can recommend Jacqueline Carey's Kushiel series. Now that is HAWT

Hi-freaking-five! I love that series!!! :drinking:

just_Jennie1

So let me get this right, everyone who read this series hated it? The author sure made a lot of money off of people who hate her work.

It's called hype and marketing.

I bought the first book because so many people were talking about it and I"m sure that's the reason a lot of people bought the book. I did not buy the subsequent installments because it sucked so bad. I barely read the first one it was so awful.

I would love to know who she had as her marketing agent for when I get published. Whether or not someone likes the book isn't the reason she's making money it's the fact that people talked about it and bought it that put the money in her pocket.

arghbowl

It's also just a very badly written book.

^ This.

*poorly written

SunofaBeach14

Why will this not die? DIE!!!

I've never been one for banning or burning books until this one came along. Talk about dumbing down. GAH.

Nazi

rml_16

with love ladies, you aren't really reading it to critique the writing are you:huh: ... I personally enjoyed it for what it was, smut, easy read with a hot kinky control freak male lead! I dig that lol and I will be going to see the film version when it arrives in the sunny UK!

It certainly wasn't meant to be critically acclaimed so enjoy it for what it was...

If you want to read smut and there's plenty of well-written smut with even likable characters out in the world, why would you give your time and money to the worst-written drivel about obnoxious, insecure, abusive creeps ever published?

Go read something good.

rml_16

Why will this not die? DIE!!!

I've never been one for banning or burning books until this one came along. Talk about dumbing down. GAH.

Nazi

:bigsmile:

amyniceneasy

I liked it but I think the Crossfire serie by Sylvia Day is much much better.

I ready the first 50shades and part of book two...couldn't do anymore than that because it was just getting too repetitive and I was annoyed with the poor writing.

I too enjoyed the Crossfire series better.

heylookitsval

Terrible book...nobody has sex that much or that rough the first time.

Fiery_Vixen

For sure however I already have a medium size dragon down my back so I will just live vicariously through you and demand pictures if you ever do

Did you read the Imriel and Naamah trilogies too?

Yes I did...I also read Carey's Sundering Duology as well

sassypants0923

Love me some Christian -Swooooon-

Lesa_Sass

I read the trilogy on vacation. It was hard for me to like the first one because the mere thought of being a submissive for anyone made me angry, (plus I think it was written for simple minds) but then I really liked the idea of HAVING a submissive, then I read the second and liked it better. I read the third because, well I just did........

Had I not been on vacation with my husband I probably would have been angry about spending the money on them. But there were times that it did work to my advantage.

RachelX04

I heard about it, but never read it. just didn't seem realistic to me based on what I've heard.

roxylola

Terrible book...nobody has sex that much or that rough the first time.

Well, not that rough the first time but there in comes Yannickas post about why Christian Grey is a bully and a narcissist not a dominant. But that much? Yep

SuzieLynn, I read Imriel - glad I stuck with it as he really hacked me off in the first book but he grew on me and that was a great love story too. I read the first Naamah book and it blew me away but the others were not published way back when I got it. I never got around to reading the next two, and had no idea there was another book. I have such a lot of respect for the author though. Terrific writer!

rml_16

I love to read. I read all three of the Fifty Shades of Grey books, they were quick easy reads with some *exciting* parts. I didn't love it, but it kept me entertained. Unlike a lot of James Patterson books where the writing makes the book too painful to read. Those are absolutely different genres, by the way.

Favorite series of all time: The Dark Tower series by Stephen King. Amazing.

Yeah ... James Patterson isn't a good writer, either. He's nearly as bad as EL.

roxylola

I read the trilogy on vacation. It was hard for me to like the first one because the mere thought of being a submissive for anyone made me angry, (plus I think it was written for simple minds) but then I really liked the idea of HAVING a submissive, then I read the second and liked it better. I read the third because, well I just did........

Had I not been on vacation with my husband I probably would have been angry about spending the money on them. But there were times that it did work to my advantage.

Thing about being a sub really is that you hold the power, you set your own hard and soft limits, you can give or withold your safe word the dom wants to make you give the safe word and will see how far they can push to make you. You get to play and see how far you can make them go to make you use your safe word. The doms only think they have the upper hand...

Maria_Cutie

this is not what a dominant and submissive relationship are supposed to reflect. it was an abusive relationship more than anything.

Theres a difference between a healthy Dominant sexual relationship and an Abusive relationship. If it gets your rocks off though, go for it. lol

^Amen. This book is trash. Twilight fanfiction, nope.

PikaKnight

I read the trilogy on vacation. It was hard for me to like the first one because the mere thought of being a submissive for anyone made me angry, (plus I think it was written for simple minds) but then I really liked the idea of HAVING a submissive, then I read the second and liked it better. I read the third because, well I just did........

Had I not been on vacation with my husband I probably would have been angry about spending the money on them. But there were times that it did work to my advantage.

Thing about being a sub really is that you hold the power, you set your own hard and soft limits, you can give or withold your safe word the dom wants to make you give the safe word and will see how far they can push to make you. You get to play and see how far you can make them go to make you use your safe word. The doms only think they have the upper hand...

I would say experienced doms "know" they don't have the upper hand..but then again, I don't feel that subs do either. I'd more say it comes down to a relationship based on equal responsibility and trust. Really a give and take on both sides.

GeeWillickers

I read the trilogy on vacation. It was hard for me to like the first one because the mere thought of being a submissive for anyone made me angry, (plus I think it was written for simple minds) but then I really liked the idea of HAVING a submissive, then I read the second and liked it better. I read the third because, well I just did........

Had I not been on vacation with my husband I probably would have been angry about spending the money on them. But there were times that it did work to my advantage.

Thing about being a sub really is that you hold the power, you set your own hard and soft limits, you can give or withold your safe word the dom wants to make you give the safe word and will see how far they can push to make you. You get to play and see how far you can make them go to make you use your safe word. The doms only think they have the upper hand...

I would say experienced doms "know" they don't have the upper hand..but then again, I don't feel that subs do either. I'd more say it comes down to a relationship based on equal responsibility and trust. Really a give and take on both sides.

Exactly. Most of the people who claim that one or the other person have an upper hand aren't grasping the overall concept. It's not as simple as that and never will be in terms of a D/s relationship, perhaps in pure Top/bottom play.

Also, the original suggestion that all Dom's are trying to get a sub to safe word is 100% false. They push your limits and the safe word is in place for *cough* "safety", go figure.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

Lesa_Sass

I read the trilogy on vacation. It was hard for me to like the first one because the mere thought of being a submissive for anyone made me angry, (plus I think it was written for simple minds) but then I really liked the idea of HAVING a submissive, then I read the second and liked it better. I read the third because, well I just did........

Had I not been on vacation with my husband I probably would have been angry about spending the money on them. But there were times that it did work to my advantage.

Thing about being a sub really is that you hold the power, you set your own hard and soft limits, you can give or withold your safe word the dom wants to make you give the safe word and will see how far they can push to make you. You get to play and see how far you can make them go to make you use your safe word. The doms only think they have the upper hand...

I understand what you are saying but I still can not wrap my head around someone telling me what to do. I think this is the reason my husband married me. He can be controlling and domineering, he tried that crap with me and I told him to go f*&^ himself. He absolutely loves and hates that I am independent and do not allow anyone to run over me.

Although I do not mind a good spankin every once and a while.

rml_16

Not at all. I'm not even fully committed to the lifestyle. I just don't like it when total vanilla people make comments like "omg why do you have freaking weird toys, that wrong" and then read 50 Shade and all of a sudden forget about your freaky toys, "omg I love s&m it's hot."

Why are all these people seeing your sex toys?

CharbyOttawa

If you hated it so much why did you keep reading? That's like someone who sends a meal back at a restaurant after they've eaten 90% of it, lol.

I didn't keep reading it. I picked up the book out of morbid curiosity, as it was on sale in the remnants bin at my local library for 2$.

I got to the scene where Anastasia lost her virginity to Christian, and she had three orgasms. I flung the book across the room, and called bull****. I don't care who you are, nobody believes that tripe.

Oh, and the writing hurt my brain. Bad grammar, bad sentence structure, bad research, repeaated use of "OH MY!!!!:" and lip-biting. I could go on, but I didn't even make it halfway through the book before giving up. Life's too short to read bad fan-fiction.

rml_16

So let me get this right, everyone who read this series hated it? The author sure made a lot of money off of people who hate her work.

I read the books. They were a quick, easy, entertaining read. So they don't depict a healthy BDSM relationship. So she didn't research the topic enough. Author made a but-load of money. I was entertained for a few hours along with thousands of other people. win/win

If you hated it so much why did you keep reading? That's like someone who sends a meal back at a restaurant after they've eaten 90% of it, lol.

I listened to the audiobooks on YouTube and didn't pay a dime for the books. I finished them for a few reasons: They became so absurb it was like trying to look away from a horrible accident. The audiobooks, while not trying to be, are hysterically funny due to the way the readers do the voices -- especially the male voices. And because I didn't want to publicly trash them and be told, "You didn't read them so you don't know what you're talking about.

just_Jennie1

Not at all. I'm not even fully committed to the lifestyle. I just don't like it when total vanilla people make comments like "omg why do you have freaking weird toys, that wrong" and then read 50 Shade and all of a sudden forget about your freaky toys, "omg I love s&m it's hot."

Why are all these people seeing your sex toys?

:laugh: Inquiring minds want to know!!

rml_16

there's NO WAY that book (let alone two more, plus movie deals!) got published without her greasing a publisher or two's wheels

It got published because of its online success. Sadly, it got published not because of sexual favors but because apparently millions of people thought it was that good.

Soon we'll be seeing the walls of the Met covered in drawings by 3-year-olds because that is the fine arts world equivalent to a major publisher putting these books into print.

roxylola

I read the trilogy on vacation. It was hard for me to like the first one because the mere thought of being a submissive for anyone made me angry, (plus I think it was written for simple minds) but then I really liked the idea of HAVING a submissive, then I read the second and liked it better. I read the third because, well I just did........

Had I not been on vacation with my husband I probably would have been angry about spending the money on them. But there were times that it did work to my advantage.

Thing about being a sub really is that you hold the power, you set your own hard and soft limits, you can give or withold your safe word the dom wants to make you give the safe word and will see how far they can push to make you. You get to play and see how far you can make them go to make you use your safe word. The doms only think they have the upper hand...

I would say experienced doms "know" they don't have the upper hand..but then again, I don't feel that subs do either. I'd more say it comes down to a relationship based on equal responsibility and trust. Really a give and take on both sides.

Exactly. Most of the people who claim that one or the other person have an upper hand aren't grasping the overall concept. It's not as simple as that and never will be in terms of a D/s relationship, perhaps in pure Top/bottom play.

Also, the original suggestion that all Dom's are trying to get a sub to safe word is 100% false. They push your limits and the safe word is in place for *cough* "safety", go figure.

Yes I was oversimplistic and possibly control would be a better word than power but a dom does want to see how far they can push you within your limits and I know plenty of Doms who would admit that a sub using a safe word gives them a buzz. These people know the rules and I am not talking about abusing limits here but they like making a sub use it.

And truly yes it is about balance and trust but it's too easy to think that a Dom has all the power and control when in reality it is at least as much in the Subs hands as the Doms.

Lesa Sass it's not the controlling or domineering, believe me nobody gets to try that carp with me either. But when my OH was giving me a bit of grief about something and I stuck out my tongue so he said if you do that again I will spank you, so I did, and he did and I stuck my tongue out again and again and again at him. This sort of power play is more of a turn on than any of the 50 junk, who will stop first? how hard will he spank me this time? will I do it again? should I back off?