He wants gain while I lose - ideas please

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Bellusion
Bellusion Posts: 23
in Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
So I just started trying to lose weight. When I met my husband, I weighed 170 and now around 200! I am 5'6". My husband is also 5'6" and weighs 120 pounds.. he wants to gain 10-15 pounds simply so he doesn't look so skinny, he's not all that concerned about muscles.

So here's the thing.. I'm a stay at home mom so I cook all the meals (he comes home for lunch, so all 3). I will not cook separate meals (too busy and too tempting for me). He's enjoying this new healthy way of eating but I am concerned about him losing even more weight. Does anyone have any suggestions to alter his meal so that it's more calories than mine without making him a separate meal?

Thanks!
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Replies

  • mrsamanda86
    mrsamanda86 Posts: 869 Member
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    Add butter/sour cream/extra cheese/etc. to his plate. Make him bigger portions than what you use. Just add in high calorie easy foods to his dishes, not too difficult.
  • ChayB
    ChayB Posts: 50 Member
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    I just read this and can't believe the similarities, I'm 191 and my partner 119 and we have exactly the same problem, I cook all the meals and am also struggling to find ways to bulk out his foods, I'll be watching this one with interest!
  • nicola1141
    nicola1141 Posts: 613 Member
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    I'll usually add a starch/carb to hubby's and kiddos' meals that I won't eat. (Not that I"m anti-starch/carb, I eat plenty of them, but at dinner I'd usually prefer to have a larger serving of meat and veggies than "waste" my calories on rice/pasta). So last night was salmon, brocolli and couscous. I ate lots of salmon and broccoli, skipped the couscous.
  • perfectflightisbeingthere
    perfectflightisbeingthere Posts: 66 Member
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    Perhaps you could suggest that he adds a couple of protein shakes a day, and that otherwise you eat the same?
  • meganjcallaghan
    meganjcallaghan Posts: 949 Member
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    Seems like it should be as simple as giving him bigger portions. Give him 2/3 of whatever you make and you take 1/3. If you need more than that for him you can easily add ''good'' fat calories by throwing a few tablespoons of chia seed or hemp hearts onto whatever you made.
  • Bellusion
    Bellusion Posts: 23
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    Guess I should've mentioned that I did try and give bigger portions to him but he never finishes it, lol. Like last night, I made chicken stir fry (tons of veggies, not a lot of chicken) and brown rice. I measured out a 1/2 cup of rice for me and gave him prob twice that amount (didn't measure)... but he ended up eating about the same as me.

    I will definitely suggest protein shakes to him! I don't know if that would be something he would do or not. And yea, I don't know why I didn't think about adding more condiments to his (butter, etc).
  • RockWarrior84
    RockWarrior84 Posts: 840 Member
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    have him make his own protein shakes after working out and eat bigger portions. Have him snake more during the day.
  • Zomb1eMummy
    Zomb1eMummy Posts: 104 Member
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    My husband and I are in a similar boat. He has always been 130 to 140 pounds. When we first got together I was about 160. Before I got pregnant with my first I was 190 and after I was 210. Then I got pregnant with our second and I was 240 after. Now I am at 226.

    I find it super difficult to eat healthy around my husband because he desn't care, nor does he have to, about what he eats. And he eats A LOT! But basically we all have the same meals and I just add a salad usually or have significantly smaller servings. :)
  • Acg67
    Acg67 Posts: 12,142 Member
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    So I just started trying to lose weight. When I met my husband, I weighed 170 and now around 200! I am 5'6". My husband is also 5'6" and weighs 120 pounds.. he wants to gain 10-15 pounds simply so he doesn't look so skinny, he's not all that concerned about muscles.

    So here's the thing.. I'm a stay at home mom so I cook all the meals (he comes home for lunch, so all 3). I will not cook separate meals (too busy and too tempting for me). He's enjoying this new healthy way of eating but I am concerned about him losing even more weight. Does anyone have any suggestions to alter his meal so that it's more calories than mine without making him a separate meal?

    Thanks!

    Cook things you both like, you eat less and he eats more.
  • idundidit
    idundidit Posts: 20
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    Beer and cheese.
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
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    If he can't or doesn't want to eat more volume, you want to start adding high-calorie, low-volume foods to his meals. Olive oil, coconut oil, butter, avocado, nut butter, things like that. If you do a lot of stir-fries, maybe you could make a peanut sauce or something like that for his meal? If he drinks coffee, see if he likes half-and-half or heavy cream instead of milk. Sprinkling chia or flax seeds over his food would be good too.
  • da_bears10089
    da_bears10089 Posts: 1,791 Member
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    Make double the recipe and he eats twice as much?

    ETA: He needs to start forcing himself to eat more. My husband was a small eater, but while he was bulking, he became accustomed to eating over 4000 a day. Your body adapts.
  • terizius
    terizius Posts: 425 Member
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    My wife and I are in a similar situation, I'm trying to gain about 20lbs, she's trying to lose that much. Dinner is usually the only meal my wife and I eat together (and I have left overs for lunch). When we eat together, I find that we eat a similar amount. They key for me is eating more often.

    I found that forcing myself to eat more was extremely difficult for the first few days, but now I've gotten quite used to it (I'm at about 3500 calories a day now and actually get hungry every few hours now). I take a weight gainer shake a few times a day. Actually, I take partial servings of weight gainer throughout the day.. 1/3 scoop with 8oz milk first thing in the morning, another at lunch, and depending on my calories for the day, or if I went to the gym, a 3rd one a night. Since this is my "beverage", it takes the place of my tea or whatever else I may be drinking and since I'm drinking it with my other meals, it doesn't "pre-fill" my stomach and make me not want to eat actual food. Also, I started bringing a lot more food to work.. some nuts/seeds, greek yogurt, fruit, etc. My normal eating schedule now is

    6:30 - 1/3 scoop weight gainer in 8 oz milk
    8:00 - 5-6 boiled eggs
    10:30 - Lunch (leftovers)
    1:00 - 1/3 scoop weight gainer in 8 oz milk
    2:30 - Greek yogurt or nuts/seeds or fruit
    4:45 - Sandwich or anything else my wife has cooked that day (fairly decent sized meal)
    8:30 - Post workout weight gain shake (1/3 to 1/2 shake depending on how many more calories I need for the day)
    and dinner
    10:00 - Ice cream or weight gain shake depending on where I'm at with my calories for the day.

    This is a rough estimate of my typical day.. like I said, was very tough the first few days, now its just normal for me.

    If you/he are interested, the weight gainer I use is Optimum Nutrition Pro Complex. Its low fat, high protein/carbs. Like I said, I mix 1/3 scoop with 8 oz of milk to make my shakes and help me meet my calorie goals. Good luck!
  • RoseGoldDinosaur
    RoseGoldDinosaur Posts: 133 Member
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    My fiancé and I are in exactly the same situation! I want to lose those pesky last 10-15 and he overdid his weight loss and now wants to gain 10-15. It's difficult because we have to eat the same groceries and meals together.

    One of the big things that's working for us is chocolate milk. I don't eat much dairy and he LOVES chocolate milk. So I pour him a large glass of full-fat chocolate milk with his dinner and I drink water. In general I will simply serve him more at dinner, healthy lean meats and veg, but he gets as much as he can eat while I try to watch my portions.

    For lunch I throw leftover meat/veg over salad for me. For him I'll usually pack a full leftover plate or a sandwich which I make with extra meat, avocado, and ranch dressing (load up the healthy fats and protein). And I pack healthy snacks for me like apples or grapefruit or celery with peanut butter. His snacks usually look more like trail mix (because it's high calorie), potato chips, granola bars, or cheese.

    Hope this helps! I know it's hard to watch him eat while you try not to eat. It's helpful to find things that he likes but you don't to add to his meals while not taking anything away from yours. Essentially you're eating the same foods. He just gets extra with fatty snacks and you get the regular serving with more healthful snacks.
  • CircusDance
    CircusDance Posts: 1
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    He should be eating more protein and a little more healthy carbs (brown rice, etc) than you. Protein shakes are certainly an option, be aware and educate yourself on their contents. Pea + Rice protein mixture is my preference for the complete compliment of amino acids (protein building block for your body). A lot of people like to use whey protein but I am 100% dairy free so its just not for me. I recommend staying away from the dairy to everyone though. You will gain weight, but it will be fat and it is not good for your digestive tract. Get your calcium from supplements, dairy replacements (nut milk), and dark green veggies. Add calories with nut butter, healthy fats like olive oil and avocados, and more protein. These are easily added components for his plate that you can leave off of yours. Also, adding weight lifting focused routines to his workout schedule will help tremendously. I recommend getting a trainer to start out so you don't hurt yourself.
  • StunningLegerity
    StunningLegerity Posts: 193 Member
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    Wow can't believe how many other people are in the same boat as me! My boyfriend is 120 lbs and I am 170 lbs. I have the same problems, OP, I cook but won't cook two separate meals. Definitely portion helps, and I always pack on the protein since I never get enough anyway! We eat a whole lot of meat and veggies and the occasional starch dinners. Wish I had more insight than that, but there are some great suggestions on here already! Definitely going to come back and see when there's more :-)
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
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    Does anyone have any suggestions to alter his meal so that it's more calories than mine without making him a separate meal?

    What if you gave him more of the same thing and you ate less? There's nothing wrong with him having ice cream after dinner if he needs more calories.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
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    Have him drink a milkshake, malt, etc after each meal.
    PS give him lots of sex as well.:flowerforyou:
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    eat the same stuff only you eat less of it than he does and he eats more of it than you
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    My husband has been trying to gain most of the time that I've been losing and with that in mind OP I"m gonna give you the best advice I was given on the subject: Milkshakes. A nice big frothy milkshake after lunch and another after dinner and you've easily bumped his calories up 400-700 calories depending on what's in there.

    other than that feed him bigger portions of what you feed yourself. Full fat cheese and milk, butter, peanut butter...stuff like that.

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