He wants gain while I lose - ideas please

PikaKnight

Guess I should've mentioned that I did try and give bigger portions to him but he never finishes it, lol. Like last night, I made chicken stir fry (tons of veggies, not a lot of chicken) and brown rice. I measured out a 1/2 cup of rice for me and gave him prob twice that amount (didn't measure)... but he ended up eating about the same as me.

I will definitely suggest protein shakes to him! I don't know if that would be something he would do or not. And yea, I don't know why I didn't think about adding more condiments to his (butter, etc).

If he's finding gaining is hard eating certain meals, then he can look into snacks that are higher calorie or adding things to the meals that add calories to just his portion of food (maybe a higher calorie dressing, cheeses, a glass of milk, etc). If all else fails, maybe he can try having some ice cream later...great for the fat macro anyways

Shreddingit84

My husband is on a 4500 cal diet and i do it all... Im on a 2000... And yes i cook separate meals... Gotta just do it!

takumaku

Drinking the calories is the easiest, imho, to gain weight. Other options are high calorie, low fiber (i.e. low bulking), high fat and/or high gi foods. E.g. peanut butter and bananas; poptarts (favorite iifym); bullet coffee; Irish coffee; etc.

concordancia

My husband adds to meals and has additional meals/snacks. For example, he might add an extra serving at meal time. He will also have healthy snacks: he eats a hot breakfast every morning, but enjoys milk and cereal in the evenings.

Is he exercising? Strength training will make him hungrier, while ensuring that the extra weight is healthy.

NRBreit

Same here. I'm trying to gain while the wife is trying to lose. We eat the same major meals, I just eat more/bigger servings. She also skips the carbs (rice, sweet potato, whatever I decide to make with the meal). The only tough part is keeping her away from my ice cream.

Fithealthyforlife

A few quick things to add...

It's important to remember the basics and always keep them in the forefront of our mind.

-On average, guys need more calories than their wives/girlfriends. It's especially true when the guy is gaining and the girl is losing. It may seem like the guy eats a lot, but it might still not be enough.

-In order to support muscle gain, there must be enough protein to synthesize muscle and enough carbs for energy. Fat is also needed in rough proportion. Low protein/low carb is the enemy of muscle gain.

-Veggies alone won't supply enough carbs in most cases to gain or even maintain weight for a man.

-Protein powders probably won't supply the missing calories needed. They're simply not calorie-rich. They can help if the person isn't getting enough protein, though.

-I believe the old adage that stomachs shrink and stretch over time. Studies have shown it's true; I've read them. Because of this, you can have a situation where the husband/boyfriend has a small stomach and the wife/girlfriend has a larger stomach. In this case, it's a self-perpetuating thing unless something is done to correct the weight loss/gain, since the woman will actually out-eat her man. In this case, assuming equal proportionate energy expenditure, she'll keep gaining and he'll keep losing, which isn't good.

-Once anyone gets below a certain bodyfat percentage (mid to high single digits for a man, probably) and below a certain weight, his lean body mass is going to be very low. OP, your husband likely has very low physical strength because of this at 5'6 and 120 lbs, assuming he's not exercising. For some people in this situation, resistance training coupled with eating enough is the ONLY way to gain weight, because the body is accustomed to being thin, and can fight weight gain by causing extra energy expenditure by non-exercise thermogenesis. That's the current theory as to why some people with low LBM are perpetually skinny even when they overeat consistently for short periods of time...the NEAT ramps up, and the body tries to burn the exrtra calories by making the person move more, making the person more physically nervous, etc. Resistance training will make sure those calories are going toward muscle repair rather than being burned off and wasted.

agthorn

Simplest way to bulk solo: GOMAD. You both eat the same things, he drinks a gallon of milk a day. Instantly adds 120+ grams of protein and 1600 calories to his diet.

He could even go halvsies and two QOMAD, still gets him 60g and 800 calories.

otter090812

My husband and I weigh about the same (woohoo!), but he's 9" taller (boooo!). Bigger portions works pretty well with him, but if that's not working for you then I would increase the frequency of his food intake - I don't mean to make him sound like a domestic pet. Hubby has extra, tasty (this is key) snacks during the day. He also has a dessert after dinner, which I don't.

CaitlinW19

Add a good amount of nuts to his salads and a banana with his breakfast. Add things that are high in protien and healthy fat to his diet, in addition to the healthy things you are all already eating (since he is enjoying that). Avacados are really good too. Get him on MFP if he's not already, so he can set his own weight gain goals and track everything.

dswolverine

I too have a partner who wants to gain while I try to lose- though he weighs 170 and is 6' and I am 5'9 and 152. We used to weigh about the same thing, until I started losing. I make low calorie foods for me like vegetable soups and butternut squash mac and cheese, which is not optimal for his weight gain. He will eat what I make, but then supplement it with other food such as additional protein (chicken breasts or steaks) or many times before dinner he will snack on a whole avocado with chips. You definitely don't have to cook him something separate!

MinnieInMaine

I'll usually add a starch/carb to hubby's and kiddos' meals that I won't eat. (Not that I"m anti-starch/carb, I eat plenty of them, but at dinner I'd usually prefer to have a larger serving of meat and veggies than "waste" my calories on rice/pasta). So last night was salmon, brocolli and couscous. I ate lots of salmon and broccoli, skipped the couscous.

This is pretty much what I do too. I'll still eat the potato, rice, pasta but take a lot less than I give to Hubby to save on calories and fill up on the meat and veg.

OP, don't forget there are many other meals in the day. Encourage him to eat calorie dense foods like nuts, seeds, peanut butter, trail mix, eggs, lean meats, avocado, some fruits (especially dried ones), pasta, whole milk, chocolate milk. If he goes with protein shakes, make sure he's using some of these things like whole milk and peanut butter and banana to really bulk it up.

oc1timoco

Taking into consideration his size he sounds like a carbohydrate burning machine, undaunted by the perils of pasta. If you are in the camp of eating protein, good fats and veggies then serve him walnuts, avocado and more protein from your stuff and cut his pasta and spuds back a bit.

chani8

My DH needs almost twice as many calories as me, so I understand your dilemma.

I read that most of our excess calories come from snacking. When we cut snacks, we cut calories, so the inverse may be the solution. Encourage your DH to eat high calorie snacks, like nuts, cheese, cream, peanut butter, pretzels. Rice is packed with calories, so maybe offer rice pudding as a snack or dessert, and keep it far away from you.

kaotik26

I think he could do with more protein, I know you said he's not big on building muscle but a little bit more meat plus some time with the weights will give him a healthy gain.

lauren3101

If he's not a big eater, you can easily make a smoothie,

Yogurt ½ cup
Protein powder 2 tbsp
Peanut or
Almond butter 1 tbsp
Ground flaxseeds 1 tbsp
Canola, Almond, or
Avocado oil 1 tbsp
Banana 1
= 870 calories

Strawberries: 1 cup ~50 cals
One whole banana ~100 cals
Oats: 1 cup, ~300
Milk: 3 cups ~300
Banana Muscle Milk: 1 scoop ~150
Whey Vanilla: 1 scoop ~130
= 1030 calories

They are just two I found by googling 'high calorie smoothies'.

SuzyLy

I don't change our meals, however, I cut back or cut out/switch out foods to fit in my daily count. I'll make him a sandwich & put cheese on it, mine will be 1/2 sandwich without cheese and some roast peppers or salsa instead of mayo. I drastically cut back on rice, potatos & pasta -- try 1/4 cup & 1/2 cup if you have enough in your daily calories. I sort out my portion of those veggies prior to adding any butter or cheese. Measure or weight your portions. Plan your meal portions and enter them on your diary prior to actually sitting down to eat. It is definitely do-able. Good luck.

JoRocka

Cook things you both like, you eat less and he eats more.

+ ice cream.

but what this guy said.

JoRocka

Simplest way to bulk solo: GOMAD. You both eat the same things, he drinks a gallon of milk a day. Instantly adds 120+ grams of protein and 1600 calories to his diet.

He could even go halvsies and two QOMAD, still gets him 60g and 800 calories.

That's what I started doing- and my 2% is closer to 900 calories. it's a crap load of milk.

wmahunter

Give him snacks to eat during the day. Like said before protein shake, or yogurt or something additional besides just the 3 meals.

Time will catch up with him eventually.

katorihanzo

If you don't find that he eats a ton but he still wants to gain weight (which you do since you said he eats about the same as you and you're losing weight) there are things that are very high in calories that you can get him to snack on that will pack on the calories (and nutrition) without filling him up. Almonds are a good example (even better covered in a high cocoa% dark chocolate if he likes it). Pack a ziploc bag full of almonds and give it to him in the morning when he goes to work and tell him to snack on them throughout the day.

Try drizzling a little bit of olive oil over each of his dishes too - the stir fry for example, or over fish/meat/pasta anything really. A couple tbsp of olive oil is a couple extra hundred calories.

If he drinks coffee, ask him to use high fat% coffee cream or if he loves yogurt buy him a full fat greek yogurt (they're so delicious - my boyfriend sometimes sits down and eats an entire one. He's a yogurt fiend.)