This is my story! IM SORRY IF YOUR OFFENDED READING THIS

rorymason

I could have wrote this post myself, it describes me to the tee. Im 5'3 and was 236 pounds. Was wondering if anyone else had that where they look in the mirror and it doesnt really look like they are THAT big. I felt like I was the opposite of an anorexic who looks in the mirror and always sees themselves as fat. I also would try to gage how heavy I looked compared to other people instead of focusing on how I looked/felt.

The only difference between us is that I am twice your age. I kept putting it off..I dont want to be 30 and be this weight, dont want to be 40 and be this weight, Dont want to now be 50 and be this weight! All I can say is that I wish I had addressed it MANY years ago and I applaud and encourage you for addressing it now, because time does go fast and its easy to allow things to go on the same.

Good luck to you and you friend me if you want

redflamelily

No apolgies needed and no offence taken. You've taken the first steps to changing you, you go girl. It' funny how it just takes one little thing to make us sit up and take notice. Keep up the good work.

cooky_monster

I too felt like my weight wasn't too bad and I used to compare myself to friends and colleagues and say "Im not THAT fat...am I?". well in actual fact I WAS that fat and after a quick check of my own BMI I too found myself at the obese category at the ripe old age of 21 :frown: So I am here for the same reasons as you are and I wish you all the very best with your weight loss journey :flowerforyou: We can do it :happy:

sassy9111

I am certainly not offended. I give you credit for telling your story.
Plus, your no different then a lot of people.

When I look in the mirror, I don't see a 223 pound woman, that is my problem.
I keep starting and stopping, looking for a new diet, buying more "diet books".

I wish you luck and much happiness.

jetlag

Seeing yourself as thinner than you are is a pretty common thing here. I call it body pro-morphia (no, that's not a real thing, I don't think lol).

But, it's a good thing, in a way, because at least you don't have self-esteem issues in that way.

Congratulations on getting started :-)

Eleonora91

I think it's very hard to understand yourself and your own body at such an early age... it's not your fault. But it's great that you've finally realized that you needed to do something for your health first you're young and you've got the chance to change your whole life now. It's not going to be easy but I'm sure you're full of energy and hope and this is going to help you a lot! Good luck with your journey

Rundmc1981

Firstly, Congratulations and well done for joining MFP. There are some truely amazing people on here that will help you through your journey (including me ) Your very brave for telling your story, and i dont believe that any of these fab people would judge you. Now that your on the right path, the goal is to stay there, keep motivated and never give up!!!!.....this journey will be emotional, draining at times and not at all easy, but we've all been there, done that!! I wish you all the best hunni. If you need my support, im right here.

Good Luck

D.x

tsaari77

Well, you are in the right place! There is a lot of motivation floating around MFP! Congratulations on taking the first steps!:)

TwelveSticks

Great, brave post! The denial thing is a huge obstacle for you to have realised and overcome! I suggest that you take photos of yourself and make sure you look at them - they don't need to be for anyone else to see (yet). I always found that I could easily convince myself that I wasn't "that fat" when catching sight of myself in the mirror, or in a shop window etc. But in a photo? No - it's much harder to ignore the truth in a photo. Use it as motivation, and you'll continue to be successful.

Only recently, having lost the weight I wanted to lose, have I been comfortable at looking at the photos of me from when I was at my heaviest (e.g. the before-and-after photos on my profile).

mmartinez_az

There are the ones that think about it, want it etc. I am the one that does something about it. You can too.

gisela0704

My story is similar to yours. For years I just didn't look in the mirror or take pictures. I didn't listen to what others were whispering about me. I chose to deny it and shove it deep down inside and to act happy and as if it didn't bother me. I guess I am really stubborn but in a way I feel like if I lost weight that it would make every one else right or make me feel like I gave in. In the end, I want to look better and feel better and be healthier. It's a pretty emotional roller coaster. I didn't realize how much losing weight can make me cry. I realized I hide a lot of emotions with eating in which I thought people talked crap about when they said that. Dealing with my emotions as well as losing weight has allowed me to understand myself better but it's not easy. Now that I am more self-aware, I tend to criticize myself a lot more. Now I am back to my old way of thinking which is that I constantly thinking that everyone is talking crap about me or even worse that people just simply ignore me. Sometimes I get very discouraged but when I come on here and read other's stories it keeps me motivated and allows me to understand that I am not the only person going through this. Thanks for your encouragement!

sbk204

Our situations are very similar. I too was in denial about the pounds creeping up. I always see the "thin" me in the mirror even though I am 50 lbs more than I was. I recently had to buy larger pants because I couldn't squeeze into my "fat" pants anymore. I'm quite a bit older than you are (a "young" 53) but have too much life left to waste any of it fretting over my weight and trying to cover it up. Good for you for taking this journey. Stay focused and don't beat yourself up. Be patient. Good luck to you!! You can do it!

lindagullikson

Listen, don't beat yourself up...we all are fighting the same battles. Start a new chapter...a new you. Get your head in the game, and I promise you it can be done. You made a step in the right direction when you logged on the site! Get rid of all the negative voices, because you are worth it!

Friend me and we can help each other reach our goals.

Linda G

disasterman

Best of luck to you in meeting your goals and changing your life for the better! So many people here have done it and you can too!

sargessexyone

Your post has touched me in more ways than you could possibly imagine. I am 5'2" and at my heaviest was 250. I, like you did not think I was that fat. My philosophy used to be, if you don't like the way look then don't look at me. The problem then becomes what happens when you no longer can look at yourself? Well, 2 yrs ago I took the first step on my journey and am happy to report that I am now 70 lbs lighter but I still have a long way to go. I'm not gonna lie, it won't be easy but it will be worth it. Sending a friend request in hopes that we can help motivate each other.

Chieflrg

tootoop224

You're in the right place. Don't be too hard on yourself. I think comparing yourself to others is a normal human trait. Keep at the logging and eating at a caloric deficit and you will see the results. Make sure not to deprive yourself of foods you like, just understand the calories in them, control portions and fit them into your goals. Depriving yourself of these foods is not sustainable, and you can end up craving and eating more after awhile. Try to fit in some exercise too. Even just walking a little bit and then increase it as you start to feel better. This will help with overall health and how your body will look when you finally get to your goal weight. Good luck!

br1twaslyke

sent you a friend request girl! we are almost exactly in the same boat, I'm 20, 5'3 and my weight's been fluctuating between 230-250 for the past 3 years.. Even at this weight, I thought I was hot *kitten* and always judging all the "fat" people around me.. When I joined this site I found out my bmi was also at 41, eek! I'm down to 223 and counting right now, and bmi is down to 38, we can def. motivate each other!

Mellyajc

Congratulations, that first step is HARD. Deciding to pursue a goal is scary!

Losing weight will feel AWESOME, and all the NSV progress will help! AND please don't think losing weight will make 'all' problems go away. Being more active definitely helps, but it's not a miracle cure, either. Self-acceptance isn't that easy. And...just as hard as it was to accept you were the weight you were...it can be hard to shift the identity afterwards, too. I've been in normal BMI for a while now, but I still see myself as overweight..maybe I always will. Fortunately I focus more on the strength goals and what I can DO so it matters less, but it's hard to take credit for progress effected, too!

Welcome to a challenging but REWARDING journey! You're awesome!

palmerdanielle

I can totally relate to this! It's amazing how we don't realise how big we are...I've gained a good 30 lbs in the last year and a half, and I still thought of myself as prior to that gain. Then I saw the scale and was in for a rude awakening. I've judge others in the past thinking yeah I'm kinda fat but I'd never let myself get that big...and here I am. I took my before pictures this past weekend and I can't wait until I look at those when I've lost 100+ Lbs and see what I've accomplished. I just need to actually lose that 100+ first
Anyone is welcome to add me to go through this journey together. I'm at about 3 weeks now logging food and being active on this site, would love others support, and to give mine back as well!

annastasia_82

I completely understand you, in my case, I refuse to put pictures on social media unless its only of my face... And then there is this amazing guy telling me how beautiful I am and how he loves me and I always feel like he's lying to me because in my mind, i don't deserve to be loved because im obese and who would love me like this anyway?''.... I think i need to work on my confidence throughout all this but I'm pretty sure most of it will come naturally when i get comfortable with my body..

I know exactly how you feel here. My fiancé tells me how he thinks I have a nice *kitten* and am so pretty, and I want to believe it so bad. Then I look in the mirror and figure that he's just saying it to be nice. It is totally possible that he really does find me attractive, but for me I just don't see it because I don't feel it. As I have packed on the pounds I have packed away any self confidence that I ever had. I never had a lot of confidence or self esteem to begin with, but then I've always been heavy. Even at 130lbs at 5' tall, I felt so much "bigger" than all the other girls. So as the years went on and the pounds came with it I managed to feel worse and worse about myself. I knew I had gained weight by what the scale read and the size tag on my clothing but I never realized my actual size until I saw a picture of myself 40lbs lighter and I thought to myself"'omg, I look so fat in that picture, that was x # of years ago, omg, I was only 160lbs in that picture" <paused as it sank in> "I must look absolutely horrible now" Then of course came the tears, and how did I let myself get to this point. But I'm here now and working hard at changing the old bad habits, not only with eating but with my outlook on things. Like you I used to judge others, I'd look at them and think how the hell did they let themselves get to that point. Well, the same way I got to this point.

If you ever need motivation or just someone to vent to, I'm totally here for you along with so many other.

Copper1111

Keep it up Valerie, desire and effort are the solutions to most of the issues you encounter in life.

SRobinson20

Okay so my BIGGEST suggestion is take pictures every month.... and measurements every week... personally i found this is THE BEST way to see the progress!

Also Make sure you are eating every 2-3 hours... healthier meals and snacks... your stomach is considered empty after 2 hours. you want to make sure you keep eating every couple of hours because this is how you will speed up your Metabolism. Make sure you are drinking at least 120oz of water a day!

as my boyfriend says you want to feed that fire.... you shouldn't throw a bunch of wood onto the fire and expect it to burn for 5-7 hours.... it will get really hot really fast and burn really quick, not all the wood will be burned and you will be left with wood that is charcoaled and not able to burn. you should put small pieces of wood into the fire every little bit, it will help you to have a fire that is hot but will keep burning for hours!

DeniseBarone

Hang in there, kiddo!

whitneyas

Your story is similar to mine- whenever I look at a photo I think, "Wow I look worse than I thought!" I am 5'5" and 252 pounds. (Just gave birth to our first baby 9 weeks ago and am 6 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight- yuck!)

Jenny8511

I can relate to everything you wrote! I thought the same thing about other people. "I'll never let myself get that big" or "My life would be over if I made it to ____ pounds" I didn't know I even made it this far until I saw pictures of myself and I just wanted to crawl in bed and never come out. Now we know better. One step at a time, we've got this Everyone feel free to add me, we could use all the support we can get!

SLLRunner

Welcome.

I'm not offended. When I was overweight, I recall comparing myself to others as well. The thing is that you've come to realize how comparing yourself to others was keeping you in denial about your weight. Now you are out of denial and not comparing yourself to others, correct?

To me, that's the beauty of realizing how looking at others and judging them for anything is our own stuff and has nothing to do with them. It seems to be you've switched the focus to yourself in an effort to become the best you can be.

sloth3toes

There are many, many links to valuable posts to help you. I didn't see this one in your thread... if it's already been shared, my apologies. This is probably the single most useful, and most shared link at MFP.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants?hl=sexypants

elyelyse

Girl, go on On Demand and watch last night's Biggest Loser - It's the only time I've seen the show and it was the makeover show. These people had lost anywhere from 75-150 pounds and you could not even recognize them.

but please keep in mind, if you do watch this show, that it is not reality. It's a television show that gets ratings by being dramatic. I'm not saying that to discourage anyone, yes, absolutely is is possible to lose that much weight, but the WAY they do it on that show is not only unhealthy, it's misleading because you are only seeing the parts they want to show, not to mention that those people are taken out of their homes and their day to day life to focus on nothing but weight loss.

Having said that...good on you for seeing what you needed to see, and deciding to address it instead of continuing to deny it. You can do this.

determinedbutlazy

My offended?