The day after - who should contact who?

Dgydad

Who cares? Not me; I've been married almost 34 years! And what, pray tell, has this to do with fitness or weight loss? Maybe you should take this to Facebook........

randomtai

Who cares? Not me; I've been married almost 34 years! And what, pray tell, has this to do with fitness or weight loss? Maybe you should take this to Facebook........

You must be new around here. This is the chit-chat section. Maybe you should stick to the other sections. :flowerforyou:

ImpishVanity

If I like the guy and actually want to continue the relationship, be it romantic or just a casual situation, I will call or text the next day, unless he beats me to it. Honestly I don't care if it makes me seem "needy". So what? I have needs. If the guy doesn't want to fulfill them, he won't reply. A good guy won't care if you called first.

rml_16

So really now. What are the rules?

Is this really a topic for discussion??? I mean we are all adults... If someone has issues with this then I worry about how our society is doing downhill fast. *SMH

No matter your age, relationships -- especially new ones -- are difficult to navigate. People give mixed signlas, they bring previous experiences into it ...

It's a mess.

If it were easy, everyone would be happily married and no one would ever get divorced.

And for what it's worth, I will fight to hold onto my relationship because I sure as hell don't want to date again!

bd0027

Don't text first.

Never text first.

GetSoda

The rule is this:

You're 35, not 19. Assuming he isn't 19 either, then text/call whenever.

Capt_Apollo

guys do like to persue, and women do want to be wanted. but guys also like to be wanted. and women also like the chase. if it was fun, and you'd like to have sex again, does it really matter who texts who first?

Sinisterly

I usually do not get texts from a woman unless she is a little

-Doesn't text-

Call me old fashioned... but a text? No way.


Sex or a good date deserves a phone call if there is an interest in seeing someone again. No interest? No call. End of story.

Hear hear, vj! Another reason why vj rocks!

If you want to call, call. Don't play games and you will find someone else who doesn't play games, eventually.

Wish the rest of the world thought like you!

_John_

Maybe its just me.........but I don't **** just anything so I dont have to worry about this.......

sad, that I am a guy saying this....

seriously....

tibby531

the rules change, depending on which game you're playing.

if it's "just for fun," typically the first person who wants another round makes contact.

if it's something more emotionally attached, like you were talking (not just flirting, but actually talking) beforehand, then just stick to the same routine.

and women seem to be famous for being fickle, so don't worry about seeming "clingy" now, you can always seem "detached" later.

_Waffle_

So really now. What are the rules?

I always make sure her pimp gives it to me in writing before so I don't need to worry about this crap.

_SABOTEUR_

Lol, straight people.

Danny_Boy13

So really now. What are the rules?

Is this really a topic for discussion??? I mean we are all adults... If someone has issues with this then I worry about how our society is doing downhill fast. *SMH

No matter your age, relationships -- especially new ones -- are difficult to navigate. People give mixed signlas, they bring previous experiences into it ...

It's a mess.

If it were easy, everyone would be happily married and no one would ever get divorced.

And for what it's worth, I will fight to hold onto my relationship because I sure as hell don't want to date again!

I am going to respond with another quote the GetSoda said that could not have summed this up any better:

The rule is this:

You're 35, not 19. Assuming he isn't 19 either, then text/call whenever.

I mean it is just that simple.... all whom are having thoughts about who should contact who first should try this out... works wonders in all situations. If you attempt to make contact and do not get a response then there you have your answer from the other party. #firstworldproblems *SMH again... :flowerforyou:

rml_16

So really now. What are the rules?

Is this really a topic for discussion??? I mean we are all adults... If someone has issues with this then I worry about how our society is doing downhill fast. *SMH

No matter your age, relationships -- especially new ones -- are difficult to navigate. People give mixed signlas, they bring previous experiences into it ...

It's a mess.

If it were easy, everyone would be happily married and no one would ever get divorced.

And for what it's worth, I will fight to hold onto my relationship because I sure as hell don't want to date again!

I am going to respond with another quote the GetSoda said that could not have summed this up any better:

The rule is this:

You're 35, not 19. Assuming he isn't 19 either, then text/call whenever.

I mean it is just that simple.... all whom are having thoughts about who should contact who first should try this out... works wonders in all situations. If you attempt to make contact and do not get a response then there you have your answer from the other party. #firstworldproblems *SMH again... :flowerforyou:

Good to know you have it all figured out. :flowerforyou:

Ferrous_Female_Dog

Teddy_B

Call me old fashioned... but a text? No way.


Sex or a good date deserves a phone call if there is an interest in seeing someone again. No interest? No call. End of story.

calling doesn't always work, though


Like, alot of people have work in the mornings, and if they do then... like....


do you really want to be leaving THAT voicemail? And you can't really call back if they can't answer, right?


Text and then the ball's in their court when they have time to respond (or to change their number)

Brianna716

Why does it have to be awkward? I honestly can't remember if it was me or the guy that would usually contact the other first. I guess it would depend on your relationship beforehand though.

da_bears10089

Stop being such a girl!

Some_Watery_Tart

Ok, I hate to be *that girl* BUT: if I've slept with someone it's because we were already in a committed relationship, and we took it to the next level. So there wasn't that "do I call or not" question hanging over my head.

That being said, if this was not the case for you, there really are no rules. This is the 21st century. If you're the type of woman who goes after what she wants, GO GET IT! If not, wait. That's it. Do what your personality dictates and don't worry about rules.

nm212

You are all over-thinking it. If he likes you, he will call or text. Sometimes it's the same night, the next day, or in the next 3 days. There's no big difference if you ask me. You know he's really into you if it's the same or next day though. I wouldn't call first. Why do you feel the need to? Also, text is part of our world now whether you like it or not. If he texts instead of calls, I think it's okay...as long as he follows up with a call later. It shows you his level of interest if you let him pursue you. Don't you want the power girl? Don't call first...his actions speak loud...you just gotta let him show you. If he doesn't call you, it's his loss. That's why I only do that with men who I am already emotionally on that level and I know where they are at with me. If you don't feel secure in the first place, then you shouldn't sleep with him. At least that's my motto. Otherwise, you are bound to get hurt and be kept guessing, which sucks.

nutellabrah

I think biologically women generally will have that "the robber just ran off with the goods didn't he" vibe afterwards and is a very significant indicator of the guys actual intent. They are forever in a state of paranoia for the idea that everyone is out to hit it and quit it and it becomes challenging to figure out who likes them for them or just their vagina.

So knowing this...

Its only common courtesy to show a good will gesture of "Im not ignoring you now btw, we are still cool even though i got the prize" kind of note the day after. The absence of which can mean too many stressful possibilities.

Its also a thing where if the sex was really amazing and exciting you would be thinking about it at least the next day. The absence of that is a also rude because any woman her worth in theory should at least have the ability to make a guy go crazy a little. So its really an insult if you're not showing a sense of satisfaction and slight "obsession" with what happened because any girl her worth should make a guy go nuts and want to contact her after the "euphoria."

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

A whole lot of derp going on in the dating scene apparently. Just do what you want. Do you want to talk to the person? Call them. Do you not want to talk to the person? Don't call.

If they call you, great. If you call them, great. Why read anything into something that may not be there. You may be destroying what could be a great relationship by looking for hidden meaning in everybody's actions.

_HeartsOnFire_

Yeah yeah, in a perfect world it wouldn't / shouldn't matter but it does. The day after the first time sleeping with a guy, if she texts him, she's needy. If he texts her, he's demanding. So they just ignore each other.

I'm sure there will flow a stream of posts "I don't play games like that," but you can say what you want, the games are there like 'em or not.

So really now. What are the rules?

I guy friend of mine gave me some great advice...I was going over what to do in my head, over and over and over, as us girls tend to do. He said the only thing you can control is whether you text him or not. What's wrong with texting him and asking how he's doing? Nothing. No one knows what they are doing. Forget the gamification. If you want to text him text him. So I did. And I didn't seem needy, he responded with how he was. We've been talking/dating since.

nm212

Ok, I hate to be *that girl* BUT: if I've slept with someone it's because we were already in a committed relationship, and we took it to the next level. So there wasn't that "do I call or not" question hanging over my head.

That being said, if this was not the case for you, there really are no rules. This is the 21st century. If you're the type of woman who goes after what she wants, GO GET IT! If not, wait. That's it. Do what your personality dictates and don't worry about rules.

THIS

DMZ_1

After our first time, I got up in the morning and made him a full English breakfast in bed. We are getting married in 4 months. :laugh:

That's awesome! I would like that.

mmm_drop

I just hide out in his bushes and watch him and follow him three car lengths back until he finally texts me. Normal, right?

BeachGingerOnTheRocks

If I was in the dating world, I'd call when it seemed to work and text when it seemed to work.

Back when I was in the dating world, these things would have been figured out because the guy would have already contacted me for a few dates or outings. Besides, if it was taken to the next level, somebody's going to be fed breakfast from either my kitchen or an IHOP.

And if it was a ONS, don't call me or text me. The O stands for one for a reason. Although, I have little to no real world experience in that regard.

Unknown

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rml_16

And if it was a ONS, don't call me or text me. The O stands for one for a reason. Although, I have little to no real world experience in that regard.

Nine years ago I had a one night stand.

We're engaged now.

nutellabrah

And if it was a ONS, don't call me or text me. The O stands for one for a reason. Although, I have little to no real world experience in that regard.

Nine years ago I had a one night stand.

We're engaged now.

yeah but did he contact you the next day...