dating advice

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Replies

  • charliex2202
    charliex2202 Posts: 4,281 Member
    Enjoy getting to know someone, dont worry about anything heavy just enjoy been free to be yourself...

    Sounds to me that all in all the date went well...he showed up to begin with which is more than i can say about my date this week lol I got stood up twice...eek

    Just take things slow, flirt, laugh and most importantly live be you and no one else the rest is up to them

    Good luck

    Charlie
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
    He is definitely not over his ex. Proceed with extreme caution, or not at all.
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    He is definitely not over his ex. Proceed with extreme caution, or not at all.

    yeah... he's conflicted in his own head and sending you mixed signals. proceed with caution.
  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member
    I'm sure its been said already, but its just a time to relax and have fun. No need to think ahead at this point. Small talk, leave ex's out of the conversation.

    By all means, if your having a good time, smile about it. You have a gorgeous smile and sound like an awesome young lady.

    Enjoy...
  • FoxBean
    FoxBean Posts: 910 Member
    Um...yeah...I'd say he most certainly is not over his ex yet. In my experience, if a guy mentions his ex on the first date, that is bad. Here is an example

    Ex: I went on a few dates with a guy, he constantly talked about his ex who was his "best friend", we stopped dating after a few times, fast forward a year, they are married.

    The furniture shopping thing sounds odd to me, why were they shopping for furniture together?? Once two people are in a serious relationship as such, I do not see it as possible for them to be best friends. Maybe on rare occurrences, but highly doubt it.

    He also doesn't sound like much of a gentleman, and the being on the phone/internet thing is a definite sign, run! If he is acting rude of this first date, how do you think he is going to be a month down the road, or a year? A few years? Same goes with the complimenting. The idea of having a first date is "selling yourself", showing how great YOU are, and why they would want to date you. If they are selling themselves short, I would not invest anymore time into it.
  • FoxBean
    FoxBean Posts: 910 Member
    And getting to know one another of course...forgot to add that. But I agree, you should proceed with caution and have fun, that is what dating is all about, but if you want something more serious I would be careful.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    you are that combination of fun, quirky and adorable. I bet he finds you refreshing. You already know he finds you attractive, or he wouldn't have asked you out. Relax a little and have a great time!


    ETA: I only read the OP when I first commented. SO, take your fun, quirky adorable self out with someone whose not on his phone and/or Facebook all night and who isn't out furniture shopping with his ex-wife. No second date for him.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    The ex thing would worry me some. Do you know how long they have been divorced? Was it fairly recent? Are they really divorced or just separated?

    Hey, you got out there and had fun! That's the main thing.
  • bearkisses
    bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
    omg, you can ask him. Anyone that thinks this constitutes a serious question that you need to wait on is well, not thinking straight.

    It is a serious and TIME SENSITIVE question. If his relationship with his ex is going to be a deal breaker than you deserve to know. His ex, also, has every right to be close with him, as they have kids together. Kids aren't baggage, they are tiny people that have two biological parents someplace out there, and if those biological parents are great parents they will remain close and happy without turmoil to the kids.

    I would ask him. I would ask him as right away. "So, what about their mom, are they close? What are the custody arrangements like? blahblahblah"
  • wndrwmn86
    wndrwmn86 Posts: 507 Member
    I didn't ask about the ex at all so I am not sure how long they have been divorced but I know for at least 2 years because he mentioned other girls he had dated in the past 2 years. They are divorced though not seperated.

    Thanks again for all of yalls advice I guess maybe I shouldn't go on the second date with him if he's hung up on his ex. I think everyone deserves someone who is interested in them. I'd like to think I am a good woman and that I deserve that too.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    I didn't ask about the ex at all so I am not sure how long they have been divorced but I know for at least 2 years because he mentioned other girls he had dated in the past 2 years. They are divorced though not seperated.

    Thanks again for all of yalls advice I guess maybe I shouldn't go on the second date with him if he's hung up on his ex. I think everyone deserves someone who is interested in them. I'd like to think I am a good woman and that I deserve that too.

    you absolutely deserve to have someone show interest in you, who will respect you enough to put their phone away and focus on you during your date.
  • jogamaster
    jogamaster Posts: 5 Member
    Did you say he is divorced but not separated?? Does that mean that he and his ex are still living together?

    If that is the case, I would stay away from that situation. You are a nice person and what you dont need is to enter into that type of relationship.
  • wndrwmn86
    wndrwmn86 Posts: 507 Member
    Someone asked if I was sure they weren't just seperated, but they are divorced. I enjoy his company and we click relatively well but I decided to accept a date with a different guy on Saturday. I hope that doesn't make me cheap or anything because I am still talking to the first guy but I guess I just want to make sure I am not settling just because someone thinks I am pretty. I am working on my self confidence and self worth issues and it certainly helps my ego if not anything else that two guys have asked me out within a week span. :blushing: On the plus side on the date with the first guy I made an off the wall Star Wars reference/joke when I got nervous, not only did he get it, he thought it was cute. So I guess that's what yall meant by using my awkwardness instead of being embarrassed by it and maybe a new guy might think its cute too. Thanks again yall for not only your help but your support for a late bloomer :flowerforyou:
  • TrevNiel22
    TrevNiel22 Posts: 182
    I'm not the best when it comes to dating advice,
    but everything will work out for the best in the end :drinker:
  • Dan_Druff
    Dan_Druff Posts: 104
    You said he was super easy to talk to, maybe he felt the same way about you? I don't think him bringing up his ex is a deal breaker. If he didn't have a child connecting him to her it would be a different story. I think I might do the same thing if I were in his position and actually liked the person I was on a date with.

    IMO he was just getting it out there, letting you know so there are no surprises.
  • Dan_Druff
    Dan_Druff Posts: 104
    I didn't ask about the ex at all so I am not sure how long they have been divorced but I know for at least 2 years because he mentioned other girls he had dated in the past 2 years. They are divorced though not seperated.

    Thanks again for all of yalls advice I guess maybe I shouldn't go on the second date with him if he's hung up on his ex. I think everyone deserves someone who is interested in them. I'd like to think I am a good woman and that I deserve that too.

    you absolutely deserve to have someone show interest in you, who will respect you enough to put their phone away and focus on you during your date.

    I think that's a little harsh. He may have just been nervous and done it out of habit.
  • LFDBabs
    LFDBabs Posts: 297 Member
    Take a deep breath......calm down.

    Go out,
    BE YOURSELF,
    have FUN,
    don't ask personal questions unless HE initiates such conversation.

    DON'T think RELATIONSHIP, think new friend! if it turns into a relationship, great! If not, no biggie. You're beautiful, it will happen
  • just_Jennie1
    just_Jennie1 Posts: 1,233
    He is definitely not over his ex. Proceed with extreme caution, or not at all.

    Not necessarily.

    I met my husband when he was going through a divorce. While they never had kids he remained friends with her. They didn't go furniture shopping but when she moved out of state and he was on business trips where she lived he'd call her up and meet her for lunch or dinner. Nothing weird about that. In fact I like the fact that he's on speaking terms with her. She's actually one of my FB friends and is very nice.

    As far as saying he doesn't want to get married because the cards are stacked against him: He's jaded because he's divorced. Again, my husband was extremely jaded about marriage and relationships in general because of his divorce. I can't tell you how tired I got of hearing him say "Love is a 4-letter word for unhappiness". Over and over and over again. Gack! :sick:

    Obviously he got over those thoughts because he's now my husband. We've been together for 17 years, married for 8 and we couldn't be happier.

    OP: I wouldn't write him off 100% just yet. If he starts blowing you off to do things with the ex on a consistent basis then I'd say he's not over her and it's time to say good-bye. He could very well have brought her up innocently and maybe as a way to let you know that they're on speaking terms. I have more respect for a man who is on speaking terms with an ex and doesn't trash-talk her than one who does.

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