I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL

Confuzzled4ever

I first called certain days cheat days.. and I found myself over-over eating on those days because I only got them once a week. It's great to have a day where you know you are going to allow yourself to eat pizza, but eating the whole pizza is still not recommended nor is 3 or 4 or more bags of M&Ms along with that ridiculous super yummy, calorie laden breakfast sandwich,.

I don't think we should label our days. It's just our new way of eating and really it's just eating. some days I eat better then others. I just make sure the good days out weight the bad, by a lot. I actually find i have less "cheat" days this way and when I do, i'm normally on a date or wanting to go out for drinks. I found I am much happier because instead of making Saturday the day I can eat whatever I want and me putting everything I really want to eat off until Saturday I was eating double what i would have on Saturday. I was also in less control. As changing my cheat day on a whim happened or borrowing next weeks with the intention of not having on next week (which never happened of course). I also found a higher tendency to graze on my non-cheat days. I don't know why, but I did. I need to have control of my choice everyday. I need to be thinking about what i eat everyday or I end up on a slippery slope and the slope wins.

If having one works for you and you can still control it. That's great. Just another view point here.

(That being said.. I do enjoy myself at family functions, parties and when I'm going out with friends. Just because they order the chocolate molten lava volcano brownie cake, does not mean i have to or that i have to share it with them, I just politely say no thank you and continue on... it's really not that hard.. even if they try to push it on you. You are more important than that dessert and what you think of you is more important then what thye do, keep that in mind too)

soechsner09

It's because in our society we've developed a bad relationship with food. The guilt we feel when we splurge once in a great while can eat right through you ... I know. For the longest time I thought that if I was going to stick with a healthy lifestyle that there was no room for such splurges. If I allowed myself a "cheat meal" I would feel so guilty afterwards that it took all enjoyment away. When I stopped looking at it as "cheating" started to realize that one "treat" meal, or one off day wasn't going to derail me for life. You're over calories for a day? Big deal. Move on. Enjoy every moment at that restaurant with your friends/family. I think we're the only country that has placed such a stigma on food. Not that I can blame us since we see the obesity problems we have here. In Italy they sit down for 3 hour dinners with friends and family, and often at night well past what we would consider a normal dinner time. It's relaxing, destressing and a good part of their lives ... and it doesn't mean they're unhealthy at ALL. I personally feel we should take a lesson from them. But as for you, try not to stress yourself over one day now and thenn over your calories. It won't undo all the hard work you've put in ... in fact, I feel like from time to time my body thanks me for it. Best of luck in your fight with this demon ... you WILL win!

seltzermint555

I think "normal" judging by most people I know is having no clue at all about what you are actually putting into your body and just randomly eating whatever's at the fast food restaurant, buffet, convenience store, etc. Then feeling less than satisfied at all times and beating yourself up because you ate a bunch of junk. Or feeling entitled to more junky foods just because you "didn't eat that much...just a granola bar, ham & cheese Hot Pocket, and a latte" (to the tune of the entire day's calories).

So I don't want to be normal actually.

I've come to terms with the fact that I will probably never have a "normal" relationship with food. I'll never just eat without thinking and shop based on whatever's on sale or looks tasty. I have managed to get to 300+ lb in the past and that didn't involve any binge eating or crazy "bad" food...just eating what everyone else was having and indulging a couple of times a week in frozen custard, pizza, etc. So I am not gonna be able to just "eat when I'm hungry" and be a normal weight woman. No way.

I now weigh 198 and still losing, and I am eating all of the same food I did before...just empowered by the KNOWLEDGE of what I am eating and how it affects my body. I do make healthier choices, but not all of the time. I don't feel the need to have "cheat days" honestly because I eat little treats all of the time by fitting them into my cals/macros. I regularly eat more and richer, "worse" foods on the weekend when I am getting a LOT more exercise. That is a really easy way to do it, IMHO. I never feel out of control, honestly...and I have been doing this for 10 months.

I honestly never plan to stop logging and being "abnormal" about food - measuring etc - and if I do it would be many many years from now (after years of successful maintenance at my GW).

_rozamu

OP, thanks for starting this topic. I'm loving reading all the answers. Good luck in finding what works for you

fitnotskinnyxo

Keep the comments coming! They're so helpful! A big thank you to each and every one of you!

twixlepennie

Keep the comments coming! They're so helpful! A big thank you to each and every one of you!

For fun, I decided to aim for 1,740 calories tomorrow (Monday), and see what that looked liked. I just put my plan together and for 1,748 calories this is what I'm going to eat-

Breakfast-
Chobani - Greek Yogurt-Black Cherry, 6 oz

Lunch (celebrating sister's birthday and she chose the restaurant)

Noodle's & Company - Wisconsin Cheesesteak Sandwhich, 1 sandwich
Noodles & Company - Tomato Basil Bisque - Side, 1 side

Supper-Pork 'fried rice'

Eggs - Large Egg (Whole), 1 egg
Egg - Scrambled Egg White, 2 Egg (33g)
Meijer - Pork Shoulder Blade Country Boneless Ribs, 8 ounces
Aldi Fit & Active - Brown Instant Rice, 1/2 cup dry=about 1 cup cooked
Baby Button Mushrooms - Fresh Raw Mushrooms, 7 oz
Bell Pepper - Green Chopped, 1/4 cup chopped (74.5g)
Meijer - Soy Sauce, 0.75 Tbsp.
Fresh - Onion (White or Yellow) Raw, 0.25 small raw onion

Snack (7pm)
Nabisco - Oreo - Chocolate Sandwich Cookies - Classic, 2 cookies (34 g)


TOTAL: 1,748 calories; 119 protein, 79g fat, 151g carbs

I'm eating out and enjoying my sister's birthday, having a huge supper, eating cookies for a snack, hitting the calorie target, within a few calories, and also doing good with my macros :drinker:

(my actual calories goal is around 2,200 with exercise factored in, so I'll be eating at a deficit of around 452 calories, which I'll roll over to sometime later this week ).

Confuzzled4ever

I agree with the above. with some planning I can go out to eat and still stay under calorie goals. I usually land around 1700-1800 and I eat a lot. I go over when I drink or make bad choices. (like nachos! mmmmmm two billion calories of yumminess that my tummy yells at me for later lol)

But if you just look ahead and make a plan and stick to it..

who cares what the other say. Do what makes you happy!

allysteven880

Hi!
are you trying to maintain your body? If not, then you will definitely gain your weight because eating heavy items will definitely affect your health. doing regular exercise can help you a lot. you can then eat pizza and other food you like most.

Mischievous_Rascal

I love to eat healthy, don't get me wrong. i enjoy the feeling of being healthy, and more importantly, I am much more confident in the way that I look now. But, I also feel SO ANGRY when I eat everything in plain sight simply because I am letting "loose" one day. My friends/family are SO supportive, but I hate not being able to just go out for dinner with them and have a good time because there is no way that I could fit the food that they eat without eating NOTHING but that the entire day! I guess my point is, I just want to go out, eat what I want and when I want, not feel like a monster when I let loose, and still feel satisfied.

It just sucks because id love to order pizza, bake cookies and brownies, and slop around the entire day once in a while.

Just needed to vent. Thanks for reading.

try intermittent fasting, thats what i do. i eat whatever i want pretty much. ate a whole pizza the other day for dinner and still had cals to spare

Me too - I eat from noon to 10 pm, most of my calories from 6pm onward. And I didn't have time to read every suggestion, but are your protein and fat macros set high enough? And even if you can do some bodyweight stuff at home every couple of days, that will increase your LBM and increase your maintenance cals. Best of luck!.

sarahmoo12

try pre logging it all to see what itl come to then see how much exercise you need to burn it off over say 3 days ? That way your not guna kill yourself you just need to sweat it out a wee bit more for a couple days ?

msf74

I guess I am "normal" (well, only in eating terms perhaps...) I eat what I want, when I want, in whatever quantities I want. I don't track my intake, I am not preoccupied by food and if I do over eat one day (and I do) then I will quite naturally eat less the next day or the subsequent days without trying.

However, the weird thing is I had to work to get back to that place (this is how I spent all of my 20s and early 30s). Something happened in my early to mid 30s meaning I had to try a lot of different things, in a quite conscious and deliberate way, until the habits became unconscious as they had been before that time.

I big piece of the puzzle for me was intermittent fasting. It made me realise that hunger isn't scary (in fact it can be quite a nice experience) and that I will not automatically over eat or choose to over eat even if I get to that state (because natural hunger is like a wave - it gradually builds, peaks and then fades away. Cravings, which do not arise from natural hunger, are strong, intrusive and persistent on the other hand.)

After my IF experiment I have been using some intuitive / mindful eating techniques to solidify what I learned before but I don't think they are really necessary. It's just me being geeky. For the first time in almost a decade I feel truly free of any concern about food, weight or over eating. I give my body what it needs rather than my mind and I remain happy.

Eleonora91

I love to eat healthy, don't get me wrong. i enjoy the feeling of being healthy, and more importantly, I am much more confident in the way that I look now. But, I also feel SO ANGRY when I eat everything in plain sight simply because I am letting "loose" one day. My friends/family are SO supportive, but I hate not being able to just go out for dinner with them and have a good time because there is no way that I could fit the food that they eat without eating NOTHING but that the entire day! I guess my point is, I just want to go out, eat what I want and when I want, not feel like a monster when I let loose, and still feel satisfied.

It just sucks because id love to order pizza, bake cookies and brownies, and slop around the entire day once in a while.

Just needed to vent. Thanks for reading.

I feel exactly the same. I mean, I know I have to lose some kgs now, so, being on a diet it's normal that I have to eat less and so on. But I'm starting to understand that I could never have so many calories without gaining weight. Being on MFP showed me how much I really need to eat to maintain my weight, hence I can never go back to eat whatever I want (even if I'm not binging). I wonder how everyone else can eat without worrying I have lots of friends who are thin, normal weight or just a bit chubby, but they still can eat whatever they want. I mean, they can have pizza for dinner even if they didn't get ready for this meal for weeks. They can eat biscuits without counting how many they ate. They can eat a lot one day and just make up for it by eating a salad the next day. They can have a whole chocolate bar if they want, even if they don't necessarily have to do this everyday. I honestly think it's taking me too long to lose this weight, and even when I'm done I won't be "thin" enough to behave such way. I've tried eating whatever I wanted during Christmas time and I've gained 5 kgs in 3 weeks, that's why I've come to understand that eating what I want and need will definitely lead me to gain weight. I guess I'll have to keep on track forever, no matter if I've got to eat 2000 kcals to maintain.

GEMMA_2014

You and I have already been out to dinner and ate what we want. That is why we are fat. The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Normal is not over eating and being fat. If you and I want to be normal and average we need to act normal and average and control our intake of calories and exercise. You and I will not find weight loss in over eating. We will find what we have always found, being fat. Food is not our fiend, it is just something to eat.

You can still go out with your friends, but research the restaurant and and find dishes you can eat. If you keep feeling deprived and left out you will stop the plan because friendship and family is more powerful than a diet.

I go out to restaurants, but I have a rule that works for me when I go to restaurants. i have a part time job that requirea that I eat out 3 times a week. (Yes I get paid to eat at great restaurants). I have to plan so I can achieve the weight loss I want.

You have to set up some rules for yourself. Going to restaurant is not a license for you and I to eat as we always have done.
It now means self control and planning.