Okay guys, really, how bad is it?

MarKayDee

I need some objective opionons on just how bad of shape my stomach is in, because I feel like a humpback whale but my husband and friends are always telling me that it's "not that bad"
Right now I feel like I need to lose around 50lbs to get to a point where I wouldn't need to be embarrassed if my shirt rose up in public, or god forbid I wear a bathing suit, but is that gonna be enough? I am judging myself too hard? When I look at pictures of myself before I had my son and would starve myself thinking I was so fat, I realize I looked pretty good and was just judging my body with a fat girl's mentality.

So tell me guys, how bad is it? Feel free to be honest and even a little bit mean, also warning as with most pictures showing off a person's body for judgement I am in my underpants, and in the event you have a weird phobia, you can see my litter box in the background.

http://imgur.com/BwY3bql
http://imgur.com/UWTXYIw

Also what kinds of workouts do you recommend to help me get this toned up where it belongs once I manage to she'd the pounds/fat?

thekyleo

it's not as bad as you think. I really think you shouldn't worry too much about people's opinions. At the end of the day you have to be comfortable with who you are. I lost a lot of weight and I still don't like taking my shirt off. Just stick to your workout plan and diet and watch your body change

SymphonynSonata

I love that you used the word underpants. None of us can tell you how you look because all that matters is how you feel that you look. If you are unsatisfied, Christ can come down and tell you that you're beautiful, and you'll still be self conscious which is never mentally healthy or good. With all of that being said, give yourself a break, stop demonizing your tummy and instead start working today to take the steps needed to get yourself where you want to be. Best of luck!

jackpotclown

yeah, it's about being comfortable in your own skin....what leo said is spot on \m/

Phoenix_Warrior

I can't see the pictures but I was there. I highly recommend giving this a read and starting some form of resistance training. Heavy lifting is my everything now. I know just from reading this you're a beautiful person and you need to love yourself every step of the way. Don't be overly critical or impatient. Just give it time and love and all the hard work will pay off ♡

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

BusyRaeNOTBusty

Not that bad.

Seriously, stop beat yourself up. Don't worry about how bad it is, or how far you have to go. Just get started and you'll be there some day.

Briargrey

Wear a swimsuit whenever you damn well want to wear a swimsuit! Screw whether or not it meets some weird standard for being thin enough or in shape enough. It's a swimsuit. Rock it.

Also - you're being too hard on yourself. Do you have a gut? Sure, but as someone who had WAY more of one, doesn't seem that bad to me. It's just not something to stress over, trust me!

You can't spot reduce the fat on the abdomen, but a good strength training program will help strengthen your muscles all over, including in that area, and if you're eating at a deficit, you will also be losing fat (hopefully at a safe and sustainable rate, don't overdo it). Remember that the closer to goal you are, the slower it will go, so don't get discouraged.

I like to blend cardio (I do 20-30 minutes on a treadmill or elliptical most days) with strength training. I was doing machines until recently. Now I'm doing Stronglifts 5x5 and this should work all the major groups so I don't have to think about spending pointless hours on crunches or something wondering why they aren't working. I'd recommend that.

So yep - eat at a reasonable deficit, exercise, especially a good strength training workout, and don't let the mirror or scale or anyone else dictate whether or not you wear a swimsuit. We don't have to be perfect, just ourselves.

Lleldiranne

I'm no good at guessing how much one would need to lose, there are so many factors. Go ahead and keep that goal of 50 pounds for now (I assume that it is based on a pre-pregnancy weight or something?) but be willing to be flexible. Maybe you'll like what you are seeing before you lose 50; maybe you'll get to 50 pounds lost and decide you need to go a bit farther. For now, just stick with 1 lb or possibly 1 1/2 pound a week and don't worry to much about where the finish line is.

As far as workouts, the best thing is going to be a whole-body lifting program. Starting Strength and New Rules of Lifting for Women are two books which are good resources (I think the first might be better in actually setting up a program). Basically, you want compound lifts with "heavy" weights, meaning you can lift it 5-8 times in a set. The main compounds are bench press, squat, and deadlift; you can also add in over head press and some rows for the back. Compound lifts engage muscles throughout the body, especially the core, as well as the main muscles they work. The important thing to remember is that you won't be building tons of bulky muscle while eating at a deficit, and that by lifting (along with some cardio) you will maintain the muscle you have, so you will look better when you get to the weight you want (or get to the look you want with a higher weight, but it's muscle so you can still eat more than otherwise)

mnapier3

I'm sure you've heard this multiple times, but abs really are made in the kitchen. My favorite types of ab exercises are usually using the bosu ball, leg raises and a variety of planks. I must stress, though, your diet will play a major role in the appearance of your stomach/abs. Keep exercising and eating right and you'll see results soon enough.

skinnyinnotime

What does it matter what we think of your tummy?! You are the one who needs to be happy with your body.

People tell me all the time I don't need to workout, I don't listen to them as I want to look and feel better and do it for my health and to support my spine....it doesn't really matter what others think of our bodies, it's ourselves we need to please!

DamePiglet

Hi OP!
You're me back in August!
Guess who has her hip bones back? *this girl*
I can tuck in my shirts with confidence and I'm in the market for bikinis!

Check out the "success" forums on here and see what others have done!

I log everything I eat, eat fewer calories than I burn and I started out just walking for exercise.
Now I do a combination of fast walking (I can't high-impact because of my leg veins) along with resistance (in my case, weights, but body weight is really excellent, too)

Good luck!!!

JewelsinBigD

you cant spot reduce - get your bodyfat percentage taken and go from there - they will tell you what a fit bodyfat percentage will be - then try to get there. Weights are good but not the whole story - maybe alternate weights and cardio. But mainly diet- what you eat and how much is huge. Weigh everything, log everything and see where it takes you.

fannyfrost

Ok in all honesty its really not that bad, but I do know how you feel. I feel the same way. I feel like my stomach is huge.

The good news is that as you lose the weight it will go down. There are a lot of theories that say belly fat comes from too much sugar. I am beginning to believe it. You can tone the muscle too with ab exercises.

There is some bad news though. Your skin may never quite go back to how you want. At least not naturally. Everyone is different and age plays a factor, but unfortunately loose skin doesn't always bounce back to the way it was before. you can help with toning creams, etc.

I am 47 years old and gained 60lbs while pregnant, wicked stretch marks. I lost the weight and it was better, but had loose skin. Gained weight and belly got big again. At this point with my age, etc not much hope for it to go back to pre-pregnancy. However, if I really want to, can always go for a tummy tuck. I probably won't, but I do use different creams that help tone the skin and it does offer some improvement.

I am being blunt and want to tell the truth. In reality its not that bad and diet and exercise will help. However, depending upon your age the skin may not bounce back. (Oh and part is genetic)

mccindy72

I can't see your pics (I'm at work, they're blocked). But it doesn't really matter. It's all about how you feel. Once you know you're doing the work, and feel the endorphins from your workouts, you'll feel good about yourself. Don't worry about your belly; we've all been there. No one has a perfect body. We all have cellulite. Be pround of yourself and take the words of your family to heart - they really don't see what you see, as you are your own worst critic.

mccindy72

Ok in all honesty its really not that bad, but I do know how you feel. I feel the same way. I feel like my stomach is huge.

The good news is that as you lose the weight it will go down. There are a lot of theories that say belly fat comes from too much sugar. I am beginning to believe it. You can tone the muscle too with ab exercises.

There is some bad news though. Your skin may never quite go back to how you want. At least not naturally. Everyone is different and age plays a factor, but unfortunately loose skin doesn't always bounce back to the way it was before. you can help with toning creams, etc.

I am 47 years old and gained 60lbs while pregnant, wicked stretch marks. I lost the weight and it was better, but had loose skin. Gained weight and belly got big again. At this point with my age, etc not much hope for it to go back to pre-pregnancy. However, if I really want to, can always go for a tummy tuck. I probably won't, but I do use different creams that help tone the skin and it does offer some improvement.

I am being blunt and want to tell the truth. In reality its not that bad and diet and exercise will help. However, depending upon your age the skin may not bounce back. (Oh and part is genetic)

This is true. My skin stretched from two pregnancies. Tummy tuck? Don't need one.... I notice it, but it seems no one else does. I was self-conscious about my belly for a really long time, but now I realized none of us is perfect and I don't really care about it.

GiGiBeans

I agree with your husband and friends. Do a combo of aerobics and resistance training. Also, get some Palmers cocoa butter with firming cream for your tummy, it doesn't shrink and "tone" the area, it helps with skin elasticity.

Eleonora91

The side picture is not that bad! Also, if you had a son, I think it's completely normal to look like that. I don't know your weight, so I don't know if you really need to lose 50 lbs, you would probably find some strenght training very useful, but it's up to you how far you want to go

Francl27

I don't see at all where you want to lose the 50 lbs from. *maybe* 20.

twixlepennie

I need some objective opionons on just how bad of shape my stomach is in, because I feel like a humpback whale but my husband and friends are always telling me that it's "not that bad"
Right now I feel like I need to lose around 50lbs to get to a point where I wouldn't need to be embarrassed if my shirt rose up in public, or god forbid I wear a bathing suit, but is that gonna be enough? I am judging myself too hard? When I look at pictures of myself before I had my son and would starve myself thinking I was so fat, I realize I looked pretty good and was just judging my body with a fat girl's mentality.

So tell me guys, how bad is it? Feel free to be honest and even a little bit mean, also warning as with most pictures showing off a person's body for judgement I am in my underpants, and in the event you have a weird phobia, you can see my litter box in the background.

http://imgur.com/BwY3bql
http://imgur.com/UWTXYIw

Also what kinds of workouts do you recommend to help me get this toned up where it belongs once I manage to she'd the pounds/fat?

Your stomach is very similar to where I started (you can see my before pictures in profile). I've since lost 58lbs and now have a flat stomach-created by a calorie deficit/some walking and jogging as I transitioned into maintenance

scribb

The key is to start feeling better about the way you see yourself. We all have parts that we would like to change, but we also need to be happy with what we have.

goldfinger88

Your stomach is a normal stomach for someone who is considerably overweight. You probably have a good deal of dangerous visceral fat and you want to get rid of it.

Exercise is "not" the answer. You simply need to eat the right foods and the right amount of those foods. Do away with processed foods and eat natural and, if you can, organic foods. I don't know your height and weight but it looks like you might need to lose from 20 to 50 pounds. I may be way off on that.

But the key is in your diet. No junk food. No sodas, diet or otherwise. Eat clean. You can get rid of that stomach in perhaps a year but it will take effort.

MarKayDee

The side picture is not that bad! Also, if you had a son, I think it's completely normal to look like that. I don't know your weight, so I don't know if you really need to lose 50 lbs, you would probably find some strenght training very useful, but it's up to you how far you want to go

As of today I'm 173(.1)lbs and 5'4". I've been hippy since before puberty so I don't know if 50lbs is even possible with my frame, but it's the twenty extra I got from my son and the thirty I wanted to lose when I got pregnant with him (as in I started a diet and then became pregnant. Not that I was trying to lose while pregnant).

gurlygirlrcr80

Hey you are just fine. I rock out with my rolls out all the time. (as evidence by my profile picture) I'm a firm believer in "dont like it, dont look at it" but also, eat healthy for you...do your body and your future a favor and just be healthier but don't concentrate on the external and focus on the internal.

twixlepennie

The side picture is not that bad! Also, if you had a son, I think it's completely normal to look like that. I don't know your weight, so I don't know if you really need to lose 50 lbs, you would probably find some strenght training very useful, but it's up to you how far you want to go

As of today I'm 173(.1)lbs and 5'4". I've been hippy since before puberty so I don't know if 50lbs is even possible with my frame, but it's the twenty extra I got from my son and the thirty I wanted to lose when I got pregnant with him (as in I started a diet and then became pregnant. Not that I was trying to lose while pregnant).

Yep, we are a lot alike-I'm 5ft, 6in and I started at 175lbs (I've had three kids) Feel free to add me as a friend, I'd love to cheer you on

Followingsea

What answer are you looking for?

Are you looking for an "oh god, it's bad" to motivate you? Or are you looking for an "okay, that's not bad at all, you can totally lose that " ? My guess from your post is you're chasing the former.

Either way - yeah, you're overweight, and yes you're carrying a lot of it in your stomach. On the other hand, that's totally fixable! Go browse the success stories forum for a while - you'll see plenty of "before" images with stomachs that size and larger. Start eating at a deficit, find an exercise you like to do, and get this done!

jfsilverstein

I want to preface this by saying that I did not look at your imgur posts. I mean no offense, but it's just really not that important. The most important part of working out and eating healthy is that the goal ends there. The idea is not to lose weight or reduce clothing sizes. Those things will come as a byproduct. Just focus on feeling better physically, mentally and, most important, emotionally. When you put too much stock in how you look or what the scale says, the inevitability of failure can quickly begin to overwhelm. If your goal and focus is the process, rather than the result, then you can't fail. Over the years I've done more weight loss regimens than I can count on both hands and feet and have failed at each and every one of them. It wasn't until I stopped focusing on the ends and began focusing on the means that I actually began to enjoy what I was doing. Now I haven't lost immense amounts of weight, and I don't look like Hercules after a light swim across the globe, but I feel great and am assuredly healthier. Living healthy should be what you aim for. If you end up looking better in the process then so be it, but learn to be happy being healthy and nothing else should matter.

emirror

I think 50 will be doable for you, but that is considerably small. Try to look at it as a long term goal.

Everyone is different, so it is hard to say how you will look when you are done losing the weight.

How bad is it? It's probably not as bad as you think it is... it's hard to say exactly how bad you think it is... so while I wouldn't be walking around in a bikini (understand that I don't wear bikinis out in public anyway), I wouldn't miss out on taking my little ones swimming over it. In the mean time (while you are working on losing the weight) there is a variety of shapewear out there to help you feel more confident. A lot of bathing suits have tummy control panels, and personally I love swimdresses for hiding hips and tops of thighs.

Additionally, society cuts new moms a lot of slack for the first few years after the baby, so people will have a gentler opinion on "how bad" it is.

Overall, I would say you feel that you have some work to do, and you know where you want to get to. Chose a path, and stick with it. :flowerforyou:

SoLongAndThanksForAllTheFish

I don't see at all where you want to lose the 50 lbs from. *maybe* 20.

OK maybe I'll have to be the meany realist here. Its good to be comfortable in your own skin, but its also good to not pretend its "OK" and let people gloss over what you've already identified and it seems you are leaning towards letting people convince you you "look good". Its nothing to be ashamed about, stretch marks and weight gain happen through many pregnancies, and defining it as "bad" wont help you. Plus, its in the past, so relax and focus your energy on what you can do now to increase your health and situation. You have already noted that you need to lose 50lbs weight, and although you shouldn't beat yourself up about it, you also don't want to let people sway you to try to define a new increased weight "normal" for yourself that's not healthy or in your best interest. Just try to take a slow weight loss progress goal, focus on losing the weight and getting back into shape and see how you feel along the way instead, maybe its 30 or 40 lbs, maybe its 50, but you cant know till you get there and the number is not really important. Neither beating yourself up nor denial is productive!

Also, exercise is very key in increasing health, but all you have to do is 150 minutes light exercise per week to see the benefits shown in many studies in prevention of all kinds of common diseases. Something like just walking, you can even do it with your child, and get to spend time with him at the same time. Don't look at it as a weight loss necessity, but a health increaser and/or heart disease/diabetes/alzheimer's/disease risk reducer.

MarKayDee

I think 50 will be doable for you, but that is considerably small. Try to look at it as a long term goal.

Everyone is different, so it is hard to say how you will look when you are done losing the weight.

How bad is it? It's probably not as bad as you think it is... it's hard to say exactly how bad you think it is... so while I wouldn't be walking around in a bikini (understand that I don't wear bikinis out in public anyway), I wouldn't miss out on taking my little ones swimming over it. In the mean time (while you are working on losing the weight) there is a variety of shapewear out there to help you feel more confident. A lot of bathing suits have tummy control panels, and personally I love swimdresses for hiding hips and tops of thighs.

Additionally, society cuts new moms a lot of slack for the first few years after the baby, so people will have a gentler opinion on "how bad" it is.

Overall, I would say you feel that you have some work to do, and you know where you want to get to. Chose a path, and stick with it. :flowerforyou:

Thanks, I feel like there is a crazy amount of pressure to be the perfect fit/fun/adorable Pinterest hipster mom (I live in Portland Oregon, it's kinda 100% our thing) and I know I am hard on myself but i needed a little help to see just how hard I was being. 50 may not be my end game, it's really just my arbitrary goal, right now I'm trying to find a balance between eating at a deficit in a healthy way for me, without accidentally putting my son at a deficit (I don't want to tell my two year old that he can't have Mac and cheese anymore because mommy isn't eating pasta right now. Ya know?)

Actually thank you to everyone who responded whether you think it's not that bad, or pretty dang you've all been crazy helpful.

Eleonora91

The side picture is not that bad! Also, if you had a son, I think it's completely normal to look like that. I don't know your weight, so I don't know if you really need to lose 50 lbs, you would probably find some strenght training very useful, but it's up to you how far you want to go

As of today I'm 173(.1)lbs and 5'4". I've been hippy since before puberty so I don't know if 50lbs is even possible with my frame, but it's the twenty extra I got from my son and the thirty I wanted to lose when I got pregnant with him (as in I started a diet and then became pregnant. Not that I was trying to lose while pregnant).

123 lbs still sounds ok for your height, but I don't even think you need to lose that much. Obviously starting will give you an idea, after you've lost the first 10-20 lbs you'll start to see where you really want to come from. But I don't think it's that important to decide what's your goal now. I think it's more important to start and see how your body reacts. If you lose weight the healthy way you'll see result in a while, I don't think your situation is very serious at the moment, but you could use some diet and exercise

Francl27

I don't see at all where you want to lose the 50 lbs from. *maybe* 20.

OK maybe I'll have to be the meany realist here. Its good to be comfortable in your own skin, but its also good to not pretend its "OK" and let people gloss over what you've already identified and it seems you are leaning towards letting people convince you you "look good". Its nothing to be ashamed about, stretch marks and weight gain happen through many pregnancies, and defining it as "bad" wont help you. Plus, its in the past, so relax and focus your energy on what you can do now to increase your health and situation. You have already noted that you need to lose 50lbs weight, and although you shouldn't beat yourself up about it, you also don't want to let people sway you to try to define a new increased weight "normal" for yourself that's not healthy or in your best interest. Just try to take a slow weight loss progress goal, focus on losing the weight and getting back into shape and see how you feel along the way instead, maybe its 30 or 40 lbs, maybe its 50, but you cant know till you get there and the number is not really important. Neither beating yourself up nor denial is productive!

The thing though... Her back looks fine. Her hips look fine. She really mostly seems to carry her weight in her stomach. But I guess it's hard to tell with pictures. I missed that she's 175 lbs, so yeah she probably should lose 30+, but 50 still seems like a lot.