Question to grieving parents...

Marcellus_08

I'm not looking for a pity party or trying to be whiny, but I need some advice.
November of 2012, I lost my 2 day old little boy. After losing him I lost about 30lbs from working out and dieting.
I kept most of it off (added back about 6lbs) and now I find myself not caring at ALL what I eat!
I want to get healthy, be positive and try to get my life on track.
Is there any of you out there that found yourself doing the same thing? It's hard for me to find the drive to get back into dieting. To working out, when for some reason eating junk and crying makes me feel better. I NEED to get my life back, I so badly miss the feeling of losing weight and feeling happy about myself. But, when I get in a certain mood it's very hard for me to ignore the fact that I do turn to food for comfort...

Any advice would be great.

Thanks so much in advance.

-Donna:)

echoslug

Start with exercise and make sure it's outdoors. Multiple studies indicate that vitamin D and endorphins seem to have a positive impact on mood and can reduce depression. Plus getting outdoors and away from the norm helps me at least find a better head space.

Try switch just one go-to junk food for a piece of your favorite fruit or another healthy treat.

BlueBombers

So sorry for your loss

SueInAz

First of all, my sympathies to you. Have you tried grief counseling? It sounds like you might benefit from talking to someone about how you're feeling and your tendancy to use food to "feel better."

Best wishes to you!

srcardinal10

I'm so sorry for your loss. I have not experienced this but I can express my condolences to you.

BeautifulScarsWECHANGED

First of all, my sympathies to you. Have you tried grief counseling? It sounds like you might benefit from talking to someone about how you're feeling and your tendancy to use food to "feel better."

Best wishes to you!

I agree with this. I am so sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you.

I believe a grief counselor would be VERY helpful for your situation.

silvergurl518

i'm sorry for your loss. do you have a counselor or objective third party you can talk to so your mental health can be as radiant as your soon-to-be physical health? .

CTCMom2009

I was also going to suggest counseling... a friend of mine recently had his wife commit suicide (not the same, but... ) and he says it has really helped him having an unbiased person to talk to.

Marcellus_08

Thanks so much for being supportive.

I think I will try getting out more and stop staying inside so much. I use the Utah winter as my excuse to stay inside. Which I clearly need to stop doing.

SuelnAz, No I haven't done any counseling, I've tossed around the idea but I get nervous about following through with it. I would feel like my family would think I was crazy and be weird around me...

MichaelVRenner

Marcellus_08,

First off, many condolences for your loss.

It seems as if you are dealing with the pain and sorrow in a positive fashion if there every could be a positive that could come out of a loss such as yours. Nevertheless, I encourage you to continue on the path of a healthy lifestyle. Surround yourself with family and loved ones and know that health is wealth.

str8bowbabe

My sympathies for your loss. As for getting your life back, exercise helps kick in endorphins which help with depression. It sounds like to me you may have some depression issues and given what you have been thru we can all understand why. Try to stay busy and get those endorphins moving. I had a hard time kicking the "go to junk food when I felt bad" habit. I like the suggestion of reaching for fruit instead. I found I liked something crunchy like an apple or baby carrots. Good luck!!!

str8bowbabe

Thanks so much for being supportive.

I think I will try getting out more and stop staying inside so much. I use the Utah winter as my excuse to stay inside. Which I clearly need to stop doing.

SuelnAz, No I haven't done any counseling, I've tossed around the idea but I get nervous about following through with it. I would feel like my family would think I was crazy and be weird around me...

counseling can be very helpful and done in secret if that would make you feel better. You need to do what is best for you and not worry about what someone might think.

riyannah

to you and God.s guidance I hope to give you strenth further to go onwards and also my condonlence.. I also think expressing your emotions will assist you to explain "the comfort thing" .more expert is needed .which I am not.. BEST OF EVERTHING FOR YOU!

Chieflrg

So sorry for your loss.

Me personally I would and have used running/biking to clear my fog in my brain.

Its not for everyone, but it therapeutic for me for my body and soul.

It really doesn't matter what your doing, just get out and do it.

I would agree that counseling would help you and yours through this time as well.

SLLRunner

I'm not looking for a pity party or trying to be whiny, but I need some advice.
November of 2012, I lost my 2 day old little boy. After losing him I lost about 30lbs from working out and dieting.
I kept most of it off (added back about 6lbs) and now I find myself not caring at ALL what I eat!
I want to get healthy, be positive and try to get my life on track.
Is there any of you out there that found yourself doing the same thing? It's hard for me to find the drive to get back into dieting. To working out, when for some reason eating junk and crying makes me feel better. I NEED to get my life back, I so badly miss the feeling of losing weight and feeling happy about myself. But, when I get in a certain mood it's very hard for me to ignore the fact that I do turn to food for comfort...

Any advice would be great.

Thanks so much in advance.

-Donna:)

Donna,

I'm so sorry for your loss. For the grief, and I suspect depression,I urge you to speak to a counselor, or to see if your area has a grief group. Big hugs to you (and you don't sound whiny at all).

As for getting back to dieting--you said you've only gained six pounds back. That's not bad, considering the emotional turmoil you've been going through this year. Perhaps for now, set your goals to maintenance, log everything you eat, and just work on staying within your calorie allowance. Add in your exercise when you feel it's time.

Hang in there.

riyannah

STRENGTH!MY POOR SPELLING!

BeautifulScarsWECHANGED

Thanks so much for being supportive.

I think I will try getting out more and stop staying inside so much. I use the Utah winter as my excuse to stay inside. Which I clearly need to stop doing.

SuelnAz, No I haven't done any counseling, I've tossed around the idea but I get nervous about following through with it. I would feel like my family would think I was crazy and be weird around me...

I can't imagine anybody would judge you for seeking help for such a traumatic and devastating loss. If it still makes you uneasy, nobody has to know you're doing it. Sunshine can only do so much... this goes much deeper than that.

tesha_chandler

Your family doesn't have to know about it. If you don't want to seek counseling, I would suggest joining a support group online. Knowing that you aren't alone in what you're going through will really help you a lot. You would be able to express your emotions to someone who has been through exactly what you're going through.
Seriously though, your family wouldn't judge you. You just lost a child. You are entitled to seek help if you feel like you need it.

kbanzhaf

First of all, my sympathies for your loss.

I agree with those who have posted that perhaps the best place to look would be to a counselor. It could be a grief "group" of some sort if you feel that private counseling would be too difficult. I have a cousin who lost their 21-year-old "healthy" daughter after a routine surgery, and they found a lot of support from Compassionate Friends. Your doctor/local hospital should be able to tell you where you might be able to find a group. I am also fairly certain if you did a Google search, you could find online support for your grief, much in the same way we support each other here on MFP.

Blessings to you. I lost my 44-year-old husband to a brain tumor almost 14 years ago......life is certainly different than I ever expected it to be.

Kaye

SLLRunner

SuelnAz, No I haven't done any counseling, I've tossed around the idea but I get nervous about following through with it. I would feel like my family would think I was crazy and be weird around me...

You might be surprised. They might be very supportive. Besides this, you are not crazy, you are human.

DamePiglet

Thanks so much for being supportive.

I think I will try getting out more and stop staying inside so much. I use the Utah winter as my excuse to stay inside. Which I clearly need to stop doing.

SuelnAz, No I haven't done any counseling, I've tossed around the idea but I get nervous about following through with it. I would feel like my family would think I was crazy and be weird around me...

counseling can be very helpful and done in secret if that would make you feel better. You need to do what is best for you and not worry about what someone might think.

Definitely! Secret or otherwise.

And yeah, grief hurts worse than anything ever. I'm sorry for your loss and all the other feelings that you're having.