need help as husband brings alot of bad food!
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I am a very compulsive overeater with a bit of an addiction to chocolate. My boyfriend doesn't get it at all. He's naturally on the thin side... and I'm the first big girl he's EVER been with, so dealing with me and my weight issues is unknown territory for him. He is supportive with the "Way to go!" when I lose a few pounds on the scale... but thinks it's funny to eat junk food in front of me and watch me practically salivate like a starving dog looking at a steak!
I've asked him to not bring junk around me, at least not anything chocolate because that is where my lack of willpower kicks in. Most of the time he tries (and sometimes I have to remind him)... but there are times that he just doesn't think. I don't think it's a matter of not caring... at least in my boyfriends case. It's more of a lack of understanding because of not having the same issues as we do. For those people on here telling the OP to just not eat it... remember that for some of us it isnt that easy. If it were, we probably would have never gotten so fat in the first place!
Go to the community page on here and in the search box type in greek yogurt cheesecake, 3-2-1 cake, chocolate zucchini (muffins, cookies, and brownies all made with zucchini)... those are my go-to things that I keep all the ingredients on hand for. Remember there are still calories and fat and sugar in ANYTHING you make (unless you are living on cucumbers and celery!) so log everything. But if you can adapt your tastes to crave a healthier version of something you make at home, say egg rolls for example (another favorite of mine!)... While he eats his junk, you can appease yourself with something that is a better choice for you and kicks the craving in the *kitten*. Than if you do find that your will power is not so powerful that day - and you eat 3 servings instead of 1... you didn't blow through an entire day (or even week!) worth of calories/fat/carbs/etc.
For me, the "just have one" thing doesn't work, unless there is only one there to be had at all. No more of whatever it is even in the house, and even better when I'm in my pj's at night so I don't head to the store for more either!. I really am like an addict. "Just one" lets the monster inside me out and I have a hell of a time getting it contained again. I have to be very careful with "cheat days" even, because one cheat day leads to a cheat weekend leads to a cheat week leads to a cheat month leads to.... you get the idea. At best I will allow my normal 1200-1400 calorie goal to be up to 2000 on special occasions. But I have to be strict and stick to that just as if it was a regular day, and be strict with myself that it doesn't happen more than twice a month is my rule. That's just what works for me the best.
You don't have any right to tell your hubby that he can't have something or can't bring it in the house... but you can DEMAND that he RESPECT YOUR FEELINGS AND WHAT YOUR ARE TRYING TO DO TO BE HEALTHY. That means not parading it in front of you. If you know you have self control issues, tell him. Remember that they are YOUR issues, however he needs to be understanding and respectful of them.
Has his little soldier ever had a problem standing at attention? (Drunk, tired, stressed, etc.) Maybe he has, maybe he hasn't. LOL just saying... that is HIS issue (if it has or ever does happen), but how would he like it if you weren't so understanding of his (potential) issue? What if you started making fun of him (ok so some guys are into that lol) instead of saying "It's ok babe I am pretty tired tonight anyways..." or whatever, you get the point... even when in your head you aren't being nearly as nice!0 -
Toss them or put the items in his car.0
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If you really wanted to lose the weight you wouldn't eat it or blame your husband for bringing it into the house.
Will power is all I need.... My husband always brings junk home(MCD burgers/Donuts/Moon pies)... I just don't eat it--- WHY!? Because I know it isn't helping me get to my goals! I don't expect my husband to change his eating habits just because I have changed mine... I do not make two separate meals or anything like that but he will either eat it or not. He requires a heck of a lot more food than I do as he is weightlifting a lot (and is 6'7)--so he is always eating in front of me.0 -
It's amazing to me the lack of empathy on some of these posts. "Just don't eat it" or "Get some willpower". Not everyone can do that. If it was that simple, everyone would be thin. I don't see barring things from the house, but what would it hurt him to keep them hidden somewhere or not show her the food. Luckily, my husband and I are both watching our weight together, so neither of us brings junk into the house often, but we do for the kids and I tell them to immediately go hide it so it's not in my sight, or I buy things I don't like but they do. I am allergic to nuts, so I try to buy things with them so I won't be tempted at all, but if someone brought in a tray of brownies, I would have a really hard time not eating them if they were staring me in the face. It's just human nature. We aren't all these super strong committed people who can resist all temptations.0
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Honestly,
I would talk to him and tell him to help you out.
I talk to my husband and he is great. I mean, yes, sometimes he brings his hot cheetos, sweet cereals, but either I just have 1-2 or not have any... lately, I've been pretty good. After a while, you don't crave them anymore.
Also, my "fat" instagram helps me a lot. I have an instragram that it's only for fitness purposes.
I follow this girl "fitalicious_me" she is great, has a lot of recipes. Look for healthy options and when your husband eats his crap, you eat your healthy snack. At first the healthy snacks, don't taste as great, but your pallet gets used to them and then you enjoy them haha.
Good luck
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It's amazing to me the lack of empathy on some of these posts. "Just don't eat it" or "Get some willpower". Not everyone can do that. If it was that simple, everyone would be thin. I don't see barring things from the house, but what would it hurt him to keep them hidden somewhere or not show her the food. Luckily, my husband and I are both watching our weight together, so neither of us brings junk into the house often, but we do for the kids and I tell them to immediately go hide it so it's not in my sight, or I buy things I don't like but they do. I am allergic to nuts, so I try to buy things with them so I won't be tempted at all, but if someone brought in a tray of brownies, I would have a really hard time not eating them if they were staring me in the face. It's just human nature. We aren't all these super strong committed people who can resist all temptations.
Actually it is that simple. Don't confuse simplicity with lack of difficulty or the exertion of effort.0 -
does he sit, speak, and roll over on command too?
That's just silly. Some people are submissive and some people are dominant. Some relationships work because of this. Hey, I'm not saying it's for everyone, but we get along well like this.0 -
in almost the same situation..mine will seem to only seem to want junk when he knows i am trying to lose weight.I try to put the junk out of eye level w/myself b/c it's easier when it's not staring at you callin out to you. LOL Also if you aren't preplanning your meals,I would encourage that too.Good luck!0
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I agree with you.0
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I think it inconsiderate for your hubby to do all this eating stuff in front of you. If my spouse was an alcoholic I would not sit around drinking because I would not want to make it hard on him. I told my hubby to take that pizza to the other room or down to the basement especially in the beginning. I am doing better now and he has joined me but I can see where a skinny hubby would be difficult. I would just go into the other room if he doesn't or take a walk or something to not be in so much temptation.0
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does he sit, speak, and roll over on command too?
That's just silly. Some people are submissive and some people are dominant. Some relationships work because of this. Hey, I'm not saying it's for everyone, but we get along well like this.
glad you said relationship not partnership....
Cause that's what my husband and I have...a partnership. We are balanced and have equality in ours...
Glad yours works for now...but it does get tiring...man to have to be in control all the time...:yawn: be so tiring.0 -
does he sit, speak, and roll over on command too?
That's just silly. Some people are submissive and some people are dominant. Some relationships work because of this. Hey, I'm not saying it's for everyone, but we get along well like this.
glad you said relationship not partnership....
Cause that's what my husband and I have...a partnership. We are balanced and have equality in ours...
Glad yours works for now...but it does get tiring...man to have to be in control all the time...:yawn: be so tiring.
Lol! :laugh:0 -
does he sit, speak, and roll over on command too?
That's just silly. Some people are submissive and some people are dominant. Some relationships work because of this. Hey, I'm not saying it's for everyone, but we get along well like this.
glad you said relationship not partnership....
Cause that's what my husband and I have...a partnership. We are balanced and have equality in ours...
Glad yours works for now...but it does get tiring...man to have to be in control all the time...:yawn: be so tiring.
You're confusing "partnership" and "equal partnership." Not all partnerships are equal. Most, in fact, are not equal hence the need to modify with the term "equal."0 -
It's just a matter of willpower OP. Almond Roca is my absolute favorite candy, I have a tin of it in my man cave, and I have yet to even open it. A few weeks ago at a meeting at my church my Bishop offered me some and I was able to decline. It's simply a matter of taking control of what YOU choose to put in your mouth.
Now, that said, you don't have to avoid the stuff altogether, just control yourself.
Rigger0 -
does he sit, speak, and roll over on command too?
That's just silly. Some people are submissive and some people are dominant. Some relationships work because of this. Hey, I'm not saying it's for everyone, but we get along well like this.
glad you said relationship not partnership....
Cause that's what my husband and I have...a partnership. We are balanced and have equality in ours...
Glad yours works for now...but it does get tiring...man to have to be in control all the time...:yawn: be so tiring.
You're confusing "partnership" and "equal partnership." Not all partnerships are equal. Most, in fact, are not equal hence the need to modify with the term "equal."
no Im not
Partner is defined as A partner participates in a relationship in which each member has equal status ie Partner in a law firm...or partner in a relationship....
Partnership by definition is equal...you need to add words like "Junior" or "Senior" partnership to distinguish a non equal partnership.0 -
does he sit, speak, and roll over on command too?
That's just silly. Some people are submissive and some people are dominant. Some relationships work because of this. Hey, I'm not saying it's for everyone, but we get along well like this.
glad you said relationship not partnership....
Cause that's what my husband and I have...a partnership. We are balanced and have equality in ours...
Glad yours works for now...but it does get tiring...man to have to be in control all the time...:yawn: be so tiring.
You're confusing "partnership" and "equal partnership." Not all partnerships are equal. Most, in fact, are not equal hence the need to modify with the term "equal."
no Im not
Partner is defined as A partner participates in a relationship in which each member has equal status ie Partner in a law firm...or partner in a relationship....
Partnership by definition is equal...you need to add words like "Junior" or "Senior" partnership to distinguish a non equal partnership.
No.
Partnership is merely an association, participation, or companionship for personal gain or business. In Business (including law) , it's an association of two or more people as partners for the running of a business, with shared expenses, profit, and loss or the members of such an association collectively.
By definition, a partership is just an relationship wherein expenses, assets, and benefits are shared. Parternship does not dictate the relationship between the partners - that's the function of the modifiers.0 -
My husband is also skinny as a rail, and pretty much lives off of Pepsi and snack cakes/nutty buddies. He likes to take his snacks to work, so I put them in our room so the kids don't eat them all on him. Personally the things he likes, I don't love. I like them, but I don't love them, so I'm not overly concerned with trying to raid his stash. Anyway, we keep his stuff in a basket, in the corner of our bedroom. They're pretty much out of site, and out of my mind. Occasionally I might raid his stash, but if I do, I'll usually split it with the kids, 'cuz they're so high in calories. I recently bought a box of cinnamon rolls for a party, and they wound up sending them home with me. I kept them in a Walmart bag, so I wouldn't notice them. They're right on the counter, but I forgot they were even there. When I did remember them, I just had 1/4 of a piece, so I didn't go over my calories. When I do want a snack, and if it's worth using my calories on it, then I will have it. I usually eat ice cream just about every night. Lol.
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My husband does the same and I find it difficult but It's his house too and I personally don't think it's fair on him to ban all bad foods. He hasn't got any health or weight issues. Although we do come to a compromise because he knows i have such a sweet tooth. He buys most junk with nuts in it because I'm allergic to nuts haha. It works out well for us! If he orders pizza I'll save my cals for a slice! When we are out and about together he eats maybe and ice cream and anything he wants. It doesn't bother me but i know if there was a lot of junk food in without nuts I'd go mad and eat them all and he'd hate that
so nuts in stuff is our compromise 
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I would just buy lower calorie versions of his crap! And to be honest, he's not really supporting you and your efforts is he? That is very sad.0
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I think it inconsiderate for your hubby to do all this eating stuff in front of you. If my spouse was an alcoholic I would not sit around drinking because I would not want to make it hard on him. I told my hubby to take that pizza to the other room or down to the basement especially in the beginning. I am doing better now and he has joined me but I can see where a skinny hubby would be difficult. I would just go into the other room if he doesn't or take a walk or something to not be in so much temptation.
I agree!!0 -
First you are an adult, you made a choice to change your diet. That means you need to take personal responsibility for your diet and what goes into your mouth. Your husband made a choice that he wishes to continue eating the way he enjoys, he should not have to change everything he likes because of your choice.
Now back to the you are an adult part, as an adult you should have some self control, if you are around something that you can't make fit into your day make a choice of nope can't eat that today but I'll make it fit tomorrow cause damn it looked good, or no I don't want it, or eat it and go over your calories for a day. Worse things have happened.
My husband brings home food all the time, some days I eat it, some days I don't depends on if I want it or not. He's not the one that made a CHOICE to lose weight, that was my CHOICE so I'm the one that needs to change.
But grow up and stop blaming everyone else because you have no self control0 -
No.
Partnership is merely an association, participation, or companionship for personal gain or business. In Business (including law) , it's an association of two or more people as partners for the running of a business, with shared expenses, profit, and loss or the members of such an association collectively.
By definition, a partership is just an relationship wherein expenses, assets, and benefits are shared. Parternship does not dictate the relationship between the partners - that's the function of the modifiers.
well you have fun with this semantic game you are playing...I will bow out now...these are not fun nor are they productive...
cause aint nobody got time for that....0 -
How do you deal with any other issue that comes up in your relationship? Talk about it, and see if you can agree to a solution that works for both of you. You ultimately need to come up with strategies for being around trigger foods, because they are never going away. It's unreasonable to demand he give up what he likes, and that strategy will never work in the long term. But, it's okay to ASK him to help you with what you're going through. There should be plenty of room to compromise so that you're not constantly staring right at your trigger foods, and he's not being forced to eat the way you have decided you want to eat.0
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ok...first... I didn't read all the responses so if this has been said already...I agree with it! ha!
Second, when he goes out or to bed, I would throw it away and then when he comes back looking for it say..."Sorry, I told you if it was here it would tempt me. It tempted me and it's gone." Not really a lie, because it is gone. You just threw it away instead of eating it!! Good luck.0 -
If bingeing is an issue for you, this is probably the best compromise. Ask him (nicely) to hide it if it's something that tempts you or to load up on stuff you don't like anyway.Since getting married I've put on weight as my husband is constantly bringing bad food, sweets, chochs, crisps, cakes, you name it ! I always say I wont eat them but i end up eating them! how can i stop myself eating the crap he brings. and yes i've asked him to stop but he doesnt and hes skinny as hell too!!! ufair.
I tell my husband, He HAS to HIDE it. He can eat it, that is fine. But it has to be out of my sight. And I keep the healthier snacks around in view, fruits, yogurt, nuts. I also convince him to get the bad foods I don't like, that he likes.
However, telling him "You CAN'T have it" or "throwing it out" is not a recipe for keeping your relationship on good terms. If your husband loves you, he will try to meet you halfway and do things that will help you (while continuing to eat as he chooses). Ultimately, though, he is the person who decides what he eats and you will need to do the same...
And just to keep this non-sexist, I would say the same to a man trying to eat healthy who has the same issue with his wife/girlfriend...0 -
My ex would tell me I was too fat then he would bring home gallons of my favorite ice cream and eat it in front of me. I saw it for what it was: his way of controlling my behavior since he knew I was a compulsive overeater. For that and other reasons, I dumped him and the crap went with him (BTW, I'm not advocating this approach for everyone). I am still a COE and at times get out of control but nothing like before. Maybe if you explained it to him that way, he'll stop.
If he doesn't, how about this alternative worked out by me and my son: Give him a cabinet that can be locked and have him lock the crap in it. If it needs to be refrigerated or frozen, small fridges and freezers are obtainable and some can be locked, then have him lock up his junk food. Seriously, this compromise should make everyone happy. :bigsmile:
I like this advice0 -
It sounds like your an impulsive over eater like myself. I can relate to you 100%, I live with my parents. And my mom brings home cookies, candy bars, chips you name it EVERY DAY! She usually keeps asking me if I want some, and I always say yes. But recently when I started getting serious about weight loss, I looked in the mirror and said "you know what Megan, if you no longer want to see this chubby reflection, you did to not give in to temptation!
You see junk food, triggers dopamine a neurotransmitter the feel good chemical your brain releases! But fear not! Dopamine can also be triggered through healthy foods such as apples and blue berries. And did you know cinnamon is actually healthy for you!? Yes that's right! So, each time you have a craving grab that cinnamon and sprinkle it on an apple, to rid yourself of those craving. Or a bowl of blue berries. Craving chips? Try veggie chips instead!
Hope This helps!0 -
ok...first... I didn't read all the responses so if this has been said already...I agree with it! ha!
Second, when he goes out or to bed, I would throw it away and then when he comes back looking for it say..."Sorry, I told you if it was here it would tempt me. It tempted me and it's gone." Not really a lie, because it is gone. You just threw it away instead of eating it!! Good luck.
Love this! ha!0 -
my wife bring a lot of bad food as well. they don't like to be told to stop. the only way is to have a solid self control and don't eat them.0
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