7 Signs of Gluten Intolerance

Acg67

Lol

1. You love bandwagons
Trends define you. When every one was doing the Farrah Fawcett hair, you were right there at the stylist getting that same do, even though you’re a guy. When 300 came out, you started flipping tires until your back gave out because some magazine with the word “muscle” in the title said it was the secret to looking like one of Leonidas’s Spartans. When Gary Taubes graduated with his PhD in cherry picking and published his dissertation on “big, fat lies” in the New York Times, you started putting butter on your steak.

2. You weren’t in the cool crowd growing up
Teenagers are so mean. All it takes is wearing floods on the day everyone changed to bell bottoms and you were marked for life as a dweeb. If you were an S.E. Hinton caliber outsider, then this is your chance to finally get in with the cool crowd. And by cool crowd I mean gluten-hating celebrities like Kim Kardashian, Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga, Elizabeth Hasselbeck and Billy Bob Thornton.

3. You pooped, and it was different
That gas and diarrhea from last night’s Mexican restaurant? It’s because you made the mistake of getting the flour tortilla. The refried beans and nuclear hellfire hot sauce had nothing to do with it.

4. You get all your medical advice from Dr. Oz
Anyone who has been on the cover of so many magazines must be the best doctor ever. Especially since he’s made famous by Oprah, because she never promotes anything pseudoscientific. I mean, Dr. Oz has found 16 “miracle” cures for weight loss, which has to be at least 15 more than your average doctor discovers.

5. You recently escaped from Scientology
And it left a hole in your life. You need some other cult to latch onto.

6. You got a headache
It couldn’t possible be due to poor posture while sitting and staring at a computer screen all day, or that tequila bender you went on last night.

7. You yawned
It’s not that you have poor sleep hygiene; it’s gluten-induced chronic fatigue!

Listen, celiac is a real thing that affects 1% of the population. But 30% of Americans either want to cut or eliminate gluten, often at the expense of their health and their taste buds.

Do the math.

http://www.sixpackabs.com/7-signs-of-gluten-intolerance/

tattygun

LMFAO!

_JPunky

AWESOME!

Ainar

Having Gluten Intolerance is not cool. There are many tasty stuff I cant ate. Why people would wanna have it? Are they ****ing stupid? >:(

TavistockToad

in! this is not going to end well......

tegalicious

Yay for this!! Sad for the 1% that actually have gluten intolerance though

TheGirlsATimeBomb

wait, does gluten intolerance really not exist?

Derpes

mboromom

Now this is funny!!!! LOL

FredDoyle

in! this is not going to end well......

No, but it has begun perfectly. :laugh:

Escloflowne

b7bbs

HAHAHA. THIS IS FANTASTIC!

firstsip

This is really wrong, OP.

Lady Gaga totally gets up on that pasta.

BrainyBurro

my water is gluten free... you jealous, OP?

MercenaryNoetic26

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

:drinker:

GermanicKnight

FEAST ON THIS GLUTEN!!! Does it look angry?!?!

hammersoaps

Omg this GOLD!!! Gluten is the new sexy boogie man. Might as well jump on the bandwagon. My gram was diagnosed with Celiacs over 20 years ago. Back then it was REALLY hard to find commercially available gluten free stuff that didn't taste horrible. Now it's everywhere. This is the first time I am sort of happy for a new diet fad. It makes finding things for my gram so much easier.

ge105

Haha, I love people who are like "I just had a doughnut cake brownie cheese cake covered in Carmel chocolate hot fudge but its ok...its gluten free!"

KCoolBeanz

*gigglesnort*

ge105

Omg this GOLD!!! Gluten is the new sexy boogie man. Might as well jump on the bandwagon. My gram was diagnosed with Celiacs over 20 years ago. Back then it was REALLY hard to find commercially available gluten free stuff that didn't taste horrible. Now it's everywhere. This is the first time I am sort of happy for a new diet fad. It makes finding things for my gram so much easier.

Friend of mine is celiac and she was diagnosed about 15yrs ago. She HATEs the fad. Some of that stuff has landed her in the hospital because it wasn't truly gluten free. Now she doesn't eat at any restaurants or anything that is in a package.

ActuarialChef

FEAST ON THIS GLUTEN!!! Does it look angry?!?!

That looks SO GOOD.

Must. make. monkey-ball-cake. for. weekend.

eric_sg61

IN before 1%'ers

AmykinsCatfood

Lol

1. You love bandwagons
Trends define you. When every one was doing the Farrah Fawcett hair, you were right there at the stylist getting that same do, even though you’re a guy. When 300 came out, you started flipping tires until your back gave out because some magazine with the word “muscle” in the title said it was the secret to looking like one of Leonidas’s Spartans. When Gary Taubes graduated with his PhD in cherry picking and published his dissertation on “big, fat lies” in the New York Times, you started putting butter on your steak.

2. You weren’t in the cool crowd growing up
Teenagers are so mean. All it takes is wearing floods on the day everyone changed to bell bottoms and you were marked for life as a dweeb. If you were an S.E. Hinton caliber outsider, then this is your chance to finally get in with the cool crowd. And by cool crowd I mean gluten-hating celebrities like Kim Kardashian, Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga, Elizabeth Hasselbeck and Billy Bob Thornton.

3. You pooped, and it was different
That gas and diarrhea from last night’s Mexican restaurant? It’s because you made the mistake of getting the flour tortilla. The refried beans and nuclear hellfire hot sauce had nothing to do with it.

4. You get all your medical advice from Dr. Oz
Anyone who has been on the cover of so many magazines must be the best doctor ever. Especially since he’s made famous by Oprah, because she never promotes anything pseudoscientific. I mean, Dr. Oz has found 16 “miracle” cures for weight loss, which has to be at least 15 more than your average doctor discovers.

5. You recently escaped from Scientology
And it left a hole in your life. You need some other cult to latch onto.

6. You got a headache
It couldn’t possible be due to poor posture while sitting and staring at a computer screen all day, or that tequila bender you went on last night.

7. You yawned
It’s not that you have poor sleep hygiene; it’s gluten-induced chronic fatigue!

Listen, celiac is a real thing that affects 1% of the population. But 30% of Americans either want to cut or eliminate gluten, often at the expense of their health and their taste buds.

Do the math.

http://www.sixpackabs.com/7-signs-of-gluten-intolerance/

Preach!

violet791

on one hand I totally get where you're coming from - it's a trend, people think gluten free will help them lose weight.

We have a number of gluten free products in our home. My daughter was sick for a while with a lot of pain and digestive problems. She does not test positive for celiac. Upon going gluten-free (at the advice of her doctor), all of her pain is gone, her symptoms have completely disappeared. The medical community does recognize non-celiac gluten sensitivity, and that gluten sensitivity does affect more than the 1% of the population that is positive for celiac and that celiac is notoriously difficult to diagnose unless you fit the "classic" profile of symptoms and damage.

The notion that gluten-free is great for everyone and will help you lose weight is crazy - store-bought gluten free products are much, much higher in carbs and starches, many are low in fibre, and it is very common to have a lot of sugar added to "hide" the taste.

shining_light

FEAST ON THIS GLUTEN!!! Does it look angry?!?!

My intestines hurt just looking at this... Don't think I have any kind of food intolerances, but it is hellfire and brimstone when I eat things like this. *ahem*

MrsPong

I have horrible stomach issues for the past 8 month, in which they cant figure out anything. I have been tested for everything... the whole gluten thing also... yet they keep saying "I still think its gluten even if all your blood tests and such are negative"... It's a fad the Dr's are even blaming stomach problems on. I believe a lot of people may benefit from taking it out- and I may have to. But I would love for them to DIG deeper before giving me a BS answers. End Rant.

msf74

Lulz - James Fell is a great writer.

Escape_Artist

:drinker:

dbmata

Man, good to know that my sore joints when I eat too much bread is completely in my head.

I'm going to fire my doctor though... I bet that really wasn't gonorrhea after my last trip to thailand.

Blue801

Omg this GOLD!!! Gluten is the new sexy boogie man. Might as well jump on the bandwagon. My gram was diagnosed with Celiacs over 20 years ago. Back then it was REALLY hard to find commercially available gluten free stuff that didn't taste horrible. Now it's everywhere. This is the first time I am sort of happy for a new diet fad. It makes finding things for my gram so much easier.

Friend of mine is celiac and she was diagnosed about 15yrs ago. She HATEs the fad. Some of that stuff has landed her in the hospital because it wasn't truly gluten free. Now she doesn't eat at any restaurants or anything that is in a package.

I have several family members running into the same issue.

But truly funny post. Thanks for the laugh OP.

pianolover2012

Funny post as it seems that almost everyone is attempting to try the GF trend. As someone with Celiac, though, I must say that there is certainly NOTHING funny about my life and having to go GF. Hope you guys are sensitive to ppl who truly have a medical issue with gluten.