Call me IN§AN€..but I want MFP comedian/jokers to stand out
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What does and old woman have between her t i t s that a young woman doesn't?
A bellybutton!
:laugh: :laugh:0 -
From one of my favourite comedy's in the last year:
I actually bought the book The Bro Code just because i loved this show and especially Barney Stinson so much
Yepp I love the actor, he appears in lots of TV dramas..But I really love this gif so much!! Its Legen...Dary ,just like you, Gustaaf0 -
"Do radioactive cats have 18 half lives?"
-Steven Wright0 -
Me too! I want in on this. I love a good laugh!! :drinker:0
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Random thought: If you're riding your donkey and someone knocks you off by throwing a rock, are you stoned off your *kitten*?
Good one :drinker: :laugh:0 -
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Oh and i certainly can't let this gif slip by unnoticed:
Jensen Ackles in funniest episode of Supernatural EVER! Doing Eye of the tiger
Gustaaf..That Jensen looks like scratching his thigh and a§§. Now that really look like a monkey to me0 -
This thread:
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This thread:
Now thats what I call a great funny-looking face that look so surprised LOL!!! I cant stop laughing at the expression0 -
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
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Ok I got one.
Guy walks into a bar and sits down. He is an alcoholic and his disease is tearing the family apart.
Underrated.0 -
was surprised this lunchtime, when the wife managed to serve me up a banana that tasted of fish.
I never knew she had it in her
yes!!!0 -
My poor good buddy, was watching Super Bowl till late night. He woke up ,still tired,lack of sleep. He mentioned he wanna nap under his desk,but afraid his lady colleague,who sat in front of him,sharing same desk,may get excited or would have to file harassment.
My response was '0_o Why would a lady excited on his disappearance under his desk, its not like he gonna creep to her underneath..Lol!!'
(Hey..Great buddy,no offence,you sure are hilarious to me) :laugh::laugh:
I cant help laughing whenever think about it0 -
Guy sits at a bar and orders a drink. Tells the bartender he would also like to buy a drink for the douchbag sitting at the end of the bar.
Bartender says "where do you get off calling her that - she happens to be a very nice lady."
Guy says "Oh geez, don't get all butthurt, can you just ask that nice lady if she would like a drink on me?"
Bartender walks down and says to lady "ma'am, that man up there would like to buy you a drink. Would you like anything?"
Lady says, "mmmm....I'll have a vinegar and water."
Ba-dum-chhhhh!0 -
My poor good buddy, was watching Super Bowl till late night. He woke up ,still tired,lack of sleep. He mentioned he wanna nap under his desk,but afraid his lady colleague,who sat in front of him,sharing same desk,may get excited or would have to file harassment.
My response was '0_o Why would a lady excited on his disappearance under his desk, its not like he gonna creep to her underneath..Lol!!'
(Hey..Great buddy,no offence,you sure are hilarious to me) :laugh::laugh:
I cant help laughing whenever think about it
I remember this :laugh:
Ssshhhh!! He is not around..maybe later? LOL!!!0 -
A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order.
The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?" "I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich.
The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the man says "I'll have a beer," and the ostrich says "I'll have the same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This became a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the bartender."Well, it's close to last call, so I'll have a large Scotch" says the man. "Same for me" says the ostrich. "That will be $7.20" says the bartender. Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the bar.
The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found this old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever needed to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money will be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the bartender. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!""That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk, or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
"That's fantastic!" says the bartender. "You are a genius! ... Oh, one other thing sir, what's with the ostrich?"
The man replies, "Oh, my second wish was for a chick with long legs."
Ostrich..a chick with a long leg??!! LMAO!! Darn..Thats a good one0 -
Oh and i certainly can't let this gif slip by unnoticed:
Jensen Ackles in funniest episode of Supernatural EVER! Doing Eye of the tiger
I just watched this episode on Sunday. One of my favorites that I always go back to. And sweet jeebus, Jensen is soooo hot.
(insert joke here to keep myself from derailing the thread)
Seriously, Jensen Ackles
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Ssshhhh!! He is not around..maybe later? LOL!!!
I think he IS watching us, hahaha
OPPS...my Bad..Hehehe0 -
This thread:
Tru dat.
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Someone can sue you for that lawyer jokes ;P~0
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Two men walk into a bar. The first man orders H20. The second man says, "I'll have H20 too."
The second man died.
lewllll SCIENCE.0 -
A conservative is a politician who wants to keep what the liberals fought for a generation ago
from my father, retired cop:A conservative is a liberal before he/she has become the victim of a crime.0 -
Two men walk into a bar. The first man orders H20. The second man says, "I'll have H20 too."
The second man died.
lewllll SCIENCE.
That's weird...0 -
Hehe..we will have to try our best not to crack jokes too lewd with dirty-mind :bigsmile: :bigsmile:0
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does sarcasm count, or is this just a forum for want to be stand up jokesters/pranksters….0
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LMAO!!! Darn..What are you..Gustaaf? A walking joke book? Man..You are a Genius..I salute you!!! My great Buddy!!:drinker: :drinker: :drinker:0
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Laughter is the best medicine :happy::happy::drinker:0
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Okay, I've missed the last 3 pages, but here's mine:
So, it's 20 below zero and there's a wicked snow storm raging outside. Her husband has been pacing and staring at the window for hours. If it keeps up much longer, she may have to let him in.....0 -
I am a math instructor at a technical college. One time I had a female phone go off in class and started vibrating in her purse. I told her that her phone was vibrating and that she needed to turn it off. Then out loud in the middle of the class she said "how do you know that was my phone that was vibrating in my purse". I turned so red in front of the class. I have never said anything else to a student about their phone vibrating in class again!0
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TL:DR
^^ This
Busy with my box
Gotta go
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