Husband forgot a double anniversary!?!?!?

nostress123

My husband planned an anniversary outing, but forgot when our anniversary was and planned it on the wrong day... why does this bother me so much... because a year ago on our anniversary he was apprehended and questioned by investigators, regarding something I am not at liberty to talk about, and i remember how sad it made me because I had big plans for our day (luxury car, massage, spa, private room in a nice restaurant, night out in a nice hotel, etc... all cancelled). Therefore I asked him to plan this year, because of the fiasco of last year, I just wasn't feeling up for it. And so he planned, and even with that more recent reminder, he still forgot what day our anniversary is! Knowing how much it means to kind of make the day special again and happy, especially following last year's disaster.

I asked him when did we get married and he rattled off the date, the wrong one, with such confidence... I asked when did the investigators take you away, and he does the same thing...

He still thinks he has it right.

Now I will enjoy what he has planned and not give him an earful for this, I love him and the thought counts a ton. I'm simply trying to understand how he could've forgotten...

Lisa1971

My husband is the same way! We've been married for 15 years and he just recently remembered that my bday is Feb. 27th, not the 28th! (his ex gf was the 28th!) UGH! He does remember the kids' bday and our anniversary but I'm always the one to remind him of his parent's bdays and other important dates. I really think it's a "guy thing" not to offend any guys on here though!

spade117

Divorce.

Cali_Chica

just_Jennie1

Neither my husband nor I remember our anniversary. We got married on a boat so the day it happened was dependent upon the weather.

Thankfully I found out my best friends birthday is the same day so now it's easier to remember but when asked when it is I have to pause and think for a second. Heck, most of the time I don't remember what YEAR we were married! :laugh:

SGM_Adonis

People forget, it happens. At least he hasn't changed his mind half a million times per day.

knittnponder

I love my husband but remembering stuff was never his strong suit. I have no desire to get in a fight over every birthday or anniversary so I make it very clear when important dates are coming up. I mean, I practically have a parade through the living room to remind him that a birthday or anniversary is on the horizon. I have never "tested" him in this area because I just don't want to set us up for a fight. And guess what? After 22 years of marriage he has the dates memorized and doesn't even need my reminders. Which is good because I think my memory is going and he can remind me now. lol

neandermagnon

dyslexic tendencies?

This runs in my family, and my parents have been married for decades but my dad still thinks my mum's birthday's two days different to what it is, and got my date of birth wrong on several official documents, my date of birth is wrong on one of my GCSE certificates, was wrong at my high school (that was changed although the new date didn't make it onto *all* my GCSE certificates) it was wrong at my doctors and even the national insurance people had the wrong date, that was only discovered when I didn't get my national insurance card when I should have done'

I find it really difficult to remember any numbers, dates included, I have to have my address and phone number in a saved document on my laptop, I was without an ATM card for weeks because i forgot my PIN... I even forget how old I am sometimes.

(note: addresses in Bahrain include a whole bunch of numbers, i.e. flat number, building number, street number, block number... I can memorise UK addresses much more easily, because it's only the house number and postcode and I have aa system for making up mnemonics for British postcodes)

This is a disability, it's a form of dyscalculia (although actually I have quite mild dyscalculia compared to how bad it could be, I'm actually good at everything in maths other than mental arithmetic and remembering numbers) and I'm also diagnosed dyslexic, and qualifed for 10% extra time in university exams.

Anyway, even if your husband doesn't have "full" dyslexia or dyscalculia, many people can have dyslexic and/or dyscalulia tendencies, which may cause them difficulties in a few things but not bad enough to affect academic performance at school, so they're never diagnosed. If anyone in his family has dyslexia or a related condition, this is a strong possibily with your husband. It doesn't affect intelligence generally, people with high IQs can have these problems and it's not laziness, it's like some small pice of brain wiring is missing.

SGM_Adonis

I love my husband but remembering stuff was never his strong suit. I have no desire to get in a fight over every birthday or anniversary so I make it very clear when important dates are coming up. I mean, I practically have a parade through the living room to remind him that a birthday or anniversary is on the horizon. I have never "tested" him in this area because I just don't want to set us up for a fight. And guess what? After 22 years of marriage he has the dates memorized and doesn't even need my reminders. Which is good because I think my memory is going and he can remind me now. lol

What? You make it clear? How refreshing. You are a special, special woman.

*winks at Ms. Iwonderhowbigthepublicspeakeris*

Cali_Chica

People forget, it happens. At least he hasn't changed his mind half a million times per day.

PBsMommy

Our anniversary date is tattooed on both our arms.. It's really hard for us to forget.

Of course we both are weirdly awesome with date memorization. We both remember the date we started "dating", the proposal date, wedding date, etc. He even remembered the date we actually started talking to one another the other day. I remembered the year and the month, but he could actually remember the exact date.

Saying all that, even though my husband remembers all these dates, he doesn't do anything really spontaneous for any of them. He isn't a spontaneous or romantic person. Our first anniversary he didn't do anything except call me and tell me happy anniversary. I am okay with that. Because even though he doesn't have a romantic bone in his body (and sometimes I do wish he did), I know he still loves me.

I think if my husband planned a romantic night for us both for our anniversary, I wouldn't care if he put it in the wrong dang month just because I know he was going out of his way and way out of his norm just to make me happy.

SGM_Adonis

People forget, it happens. At least he hasn't changed his mind half a million times per day.

TR0berts

I really think it's a "guy thing" not to offend any guys on here though!

Nope. My wife can remember the date, but she can't remember the year - and thus, can't remember how long we've been married. BTW - it was 1998, so 15-1/2 years.


OP: It could be worse. He could forget he's married. :laugh:

1PatientBear

My husband planned an anniversary outing, but forgot when our anniversary was and planned it on the wrong day... why does this bother me so much... because a year ago on our anniversary he was apprehended and questioned by investigators, regarding something I am not at liberty to talk about, and i remember how sad it made me because I had big plans for our day (luxury car, massage, spa, private room in a nice restaurant, night out in a nice hotel, etc... all cancelled). Therefore I asked him to plan this year, because of the fiasco of last year, I just wasn't feeling up for it. And so he planned, and even with that more recent reminder, he still forgot what day our anniversary is! Knowing how much it means to kind of make the day special again and happy, especially following last year's disaster.

I asked him when did we get married and he rattled off the date, the wrong one, with such confidence... I asked when did the investigators take you away, and he does the same thing...

He still thinks he has it right.

Now I will enjoy what he has planned and not give him an earful for this, I love him and the thought counts a ton. I'm simply trying to understand how he could've forgotten...

So, let me get this straight...he was apprehended and question in what was likely one of the worst days of his life and you were sad because you had to cancel dinner???

_chiaroscuro

Was coming in here to make some dumb "Animal House" reference: "Was it a double SECRET anniversary?"

Then found out, it sort of was. Huh.

Fat2Fit145

I think some people just aren't good with dates..... if you realize this is a problem with your huzzy, just try and not make a big deal over it, even though its important to you. The main thing is that he DID DO SOMETHING SPECIAL for you... that shows that he cares about your anniversary and making you happy. Maybe you could drop a hint about the date next time... hope yall enjoy

Cali_Chica

People forget, it happens. At least he hasn't changed his mind half a million times per day.

bcattoes

My husband and I work at the same company, we were going out for a drink after work and asked a friend/collegue if wanted to join us. He said yes. A little later her told us that he guessed he would skip it because when he called to tell his wife he'd be a little late she reminded him that it was their anniversary. Their FIRST anniversary. :laugh:

nostress123

I really think it's a "guy thing" not to offend any guys on here though!

Nope. My wife can remember the date, but she can't remember the year - and thus, can't remember how long we've been married. BTW - it was 1998, so 15-1/2 years.


OP: It could be worse. He could forget he's married. :laugh:

He's cheated on me and taken his ring off... so not so funny. cause he did that already

TheSlorax

strong trolling OP!

sassyjae21

I really think it's a "guy thing" not to offend any guys on here though!

Nope. My wife can remember the date, but she can't remember the year - and thus, can't remember how long we've been married. BTW - it was 1998, so 15-1/2 years.


OP: It could be worse. He could forget he's married. :laugh:

He's cheated on me and taken his ring off... so not so funny. cause he did that already

He's been arrested, and has cheated on you. Not remembering an anniversary date seems to be the least of your/his troubles.

Muddy_Yogi

Just Break up....and bacon.

nostress123

strong trolling OP!

First off what is trolling?

Second off... I'm actually having a convo with my hubs about this right now and I was just wanting to get some more input on it... like WHY and HOW... And most of you have provided insight

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I would have to ask my husband what day we actually got married. I know it's one of two dates and I always guess wrong.

Myhaloslipped

"Men can't plan anything...unless it's a threesome. Then they become f****ng event planners." --from Amy Schumer's standup. Lol. She cracks me up!

SGM_Adonis

I really think it's a "guy thing" not to offend any guys on here though!

Nope. My wife can remember the date, but she can't remember the year - and thus, can't remember how long we've been married. BTW - it was 1998, so 15-1/2 years.


OP: It could be worse. He could forget he's married. :laugh:

He's cheated on me and taken his ring off... so not so funny. cause he did that already

rml_16

My fiance and I both forgot our anniversary last year ...

He planned a nice night for the two of you. You need to get over it.

nostress123

I guess I can sympathize, reading all of your posts I realize, I always get the date of my youngest daughter's birthday wrong, but HE always gets it right... hmmmmmm something to think about

nostress123

My fiance and I both forgot our anniversary last year ...

He planned a nice night for the two of you. You need to get over it.

In the process as we speak ;-)

Cali_Chica

strong trolling OP!

First off what is trolling?

Second off... I'm actually having a convo with my hubs about this right now and I was just wanting to get some more input on it... like WHY and HOW... And most of you have provided insight

Hi husband! Do you realize this site is primarily women? You don't have a shot in hell at winning this argument. Better call florist now.

threefancy

My husband and I both don't care about birthdays and anniversaries. I guess we are a good match that way. It's the interaction you have with him the other 364 days of the year that matters, not one particular day.