my son took down a bully today
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Kudos! I actually like to have the CPS number handy (although I've disciplined my 8 year son correctly and would no longer need it because I just have to use the "look") for those times in a store where if I swatted my child on his butt (once) that someone would have tried to claim child abuse. Takes a lot of steam out of the threat that way.
Based on the facts as seen, you son did right when all peaceful avenues were exhausted.0 -
I have an 11 year old daughter and when she was around that age right before spring break she got in trouble for teasing a kid on the bus. Now she didn't say anything to us during the entire spring break and after spring break I got a call from the principal apologizing that they didn't call sooner and explained the entire thing in detail.
When my daughter got home I asked her if anything had happened that she wanted to talk about and she kept saying no. Then I proceeded to call her names, push her, grabbing her(before people get carried away I wasn't hurting her just forcefully pushing her down on the couch). Obviously she was crying and screamed "why are you bullying me?" then I stopped and explained that the principal called and that was exactly what she had said/done to the little boy on the bus. She promptly was sent to her room and to write an apology to the boy in question and the bus driver. The next morning I accompanied her onto her bus and had her hand the letters over and publicly apologize to the boy.
My daughter 3 years later still remembers that and hopefully she will for the rest of her life. I've advised my children to never bully someone and always try to be a friend and if a bully is harassing them seek an adult and if the adult doesn't handle it they have full reign to do anything they can to stop them.
If my son (he's only 4 now) had done what yours did (waited numerous times, tried seeking an adult, then handled the issue) I'd be giving him ice-cream, hell I'd tell the principal he wouldn't be going to school the next day as it'd be a celebration day. I think your son is a hero and would treat him as such!!0 -
Your kid will remember that incident forever.0
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Your son rocks. That's all.
I'm with her!0 -
I'll go ahead and say it and take this into the "OH NO" direction of discussion.
IMO if parents would teach more coping skills, including how to deal with bullies themselves there wouldn't be so many suicides due to bullying.
Sorry but bullying has been going on FOREVER. And getting picked on is no reason to kill yourself.0 -
When will these pinheads learn that going to "tell" only makes it worse.......this infuriates me. Kudos to your boy!!!! Tell him that an old redneck from Alabama thinks he is a rockstar today!! I tell my 9yo that he is to never, ever start a fight but if provoked to fight with all he has and only stop when physically pulled off the bully. And then to promise the bully another one if he ever tries it again.
I told him the last time to NEVER let somebody beat on him. If he cant find help and the kid wont stop, to fight back. And explained its his job to end the confrontation, not beat him up, if he can help it. That was a month ago. Im surprised it took this long.0 -
My son, 8 years old, has been having issues with a particular kid all year. There have been 4 instances so far, with today being the 5th. The 4th incident is when the kid kept pushing him off the playground equipment. My son went to find the person who was supposed to be supervising recess. He couldnt find her, and the entire time the kid was following him around punching him in the back and pushing him, leaving my kid in tears. I raised hell, was told the staff were between shift change, it wouldnt happen again, and the kid was given a referral and made to sit out recess the next day.
Today, basically the same thing happened again. And yet again, the person who was supposed to be surpervising was in the bathroom. According to the principal, my kid and I quote "grabbed him around the neck and took him down". He was given a referral, which was expected, but she wanted to make sure I was going to punish him. I informed her that I certainly would NOT punish him for defending himself. And that if her staff were where they were supposed to be, we wouldnt be having this discussion. She seemed shocked, informed me that of I wont punish him, then they would make him miss recess. And that they dont condone using violence in response to violence. Then she gave me a veiled threat insinuating that a call to CPS may be warranted. I just responded with, "do what you feel is appropriate, as will I" and walked out.
High five son.... high five...
Now Im waiting for a call from CPS. Or do they just show up?? I guess I better pick up the house.
Get your son enrolled in self-defense, tae kwon do or karate lessons now so that he has the self confidence to defend himself. Tell him next time someone hits him do not even tell the teacher, hit them so hard that there will not be a next time, yes he will get into trouble, but guess what, the bully will know that he is off limits. Also tell him that a bully is nothing but a coward.0 -
When will these pinheads learn that going to "tell" only makes it worse.......this infuriates me. Kudos to your boy!!!! Tell him that an old redneck from Alabama thinks he is a rockstar today!! I tell my 9yo that he is to never, ever start a fight but if provoked to fight with all he has and only stop when physically pulled off the bully. And then to promise the bully another one if he ever tries it again.
Totally agree with you. Hit them so hard, that they will never attempt to bully anyone else.
I am sick to death of school officials not taking bullying seriously.0 -
I'll go ahead and say it and take this into the "OH NO" direction of discussion.
IMO if parents would teach more coping skills, including how to deal with bullies themselves there wouldn't be so many suicides due to bullying.
Sorry but bullying has been going on FOREVER. And getting picked on is no reason to kill yourself.
Some kids just arent that way. Im very surprised my son fought back. He is such an empthetic child. I could.never see him hitting anyone, evenif they deserve it. Which is why he is probably getting picked on in the first place. Dumb mive on the part of the bully. My son is a big stocky boy, and shockingly strong. Much bigger than this bully.
I also wanted to add. Bullying is much different now than when were kids. Especially in highschool. A rumor whichbused to take a week to circulate the school, now takes seconds, thanks to texting a facebook. And it doesnt end when the school bell rings. Add to that the ability to say hateful things while hiding behind a keyboard, its a recipe for disaster. Kids are.committing suicide over relentless verbal and emotional torture, not physical.0 -
the schools just protecting its own *kitten* by trying to place the blame on you. You can always contact the media to try to hold the school accountable.0
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Good for your son! *high fives*0
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They call first :bigsmile:0
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I had to deal with something similar with my Son.
He was terrified to fight back because he didn't want to get in trouble.
I finally explained to him that, if he fought back, he probably WOULD get suspended but, he would not get in trouble at home.
I would ask the teachers for all the schoolwork and he would do the work at home and turn it in.
Well, two weeks later, it happened.
Kid knocked him off his bike at the bike corral and the fight was on.
He got three days suspension.
True to my word, he did his schoolwork at home. Funny enough, it only took him a few hours to complete.
This year, he is home schooled.
That bully taught him several things:
1: Life isn't always fair.
2: Sometimes you need to defend yourself even if you will get in trouble for it.
3: Homeshcooling is WAY better then public schools.0 -
They call first :bigsmile:
Hahaha. Good to know. Im getting over food poisoning. My house is a wreck thanks to my 4 and 2 year old.0 -
Bully dynamics are so complicated. yes it is wrong to respond to violence with violence. But I remember my mom telling me a story about how she dealt with a girl who was taunting her when she was a school girl. Basically as you said, "she took her down" she had no more problems with that girl, nor her minions that were egging her (the bully) on. basically that is how my parent's generation dealt with stuff like that. You had to stand up for yourself or be marked. The other option was to bring your big brother/sister in to set things straight. Now things are so different, but I bet that kid won't mess with your kid anymore. Somethings never change
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My son, 8 years old, has been having issues with a particular kid all year. There have been 4 instances so far, with today being the 5th. The 4th incident is when the kid kept pushing him off the playground equipment. My son went to find the person who was supposed to be supervising recess. He couldnt find her, and the entire time the kid was following him around punching him in the back and pushing him, leaving my kid in tears. I raised hell, was told the staff were between shift change, it wouldnt happen again, and the kid was given a referral and made to sit out recess the next day.
Today, basically the same thing happened again. And yet again, the person who was supposed to be surpervising was in the bathroom. According to the principal, my kid and I quote "grabbed him around the neck and took him down". He was given a referral, which was expected, but she wanted to make sure I was going to punish him. I informed her that I certainly would NOT punish him for defending himself. And that if her staff were where they were supposed to be, we wouldnt be having this discussion. She seemed shocked, informed me that of I wont punish him, then they would make him miss recess. And that they dont condone using violence in response to violence. Then she gave me a veiled threat insinuating that a call to CPS may be warranted. I just responded with, "do what you feel is appropriate, as will I" and walked out.
High five son.... high five...
Now Im waiting for a call from CPS. Or do they just show up?? I guess I better pick up the house.
If no one was there, how did they see what your son did? Is it just hearsay from other kids? Well, kids often lie, especially to protect someone like that bully who would beat them up if they didn't.0 -
Awesome. Your son did the right thing, went for help, none was around then protected himself. The principle can shove it.0
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My son, 8 years old, has been having issues with a particular kid all year. There have been 4 instances so far, with today being the 5th. The 4th incident is when the kid kept pushing him off the playground equipment. My son went to find the person who was supposed to be supervising recess. He couldnt find her, and the entire time the kid was following him around punching him in the back and pushing him, leaving my kid in tears. I raised hell, was told the staff were between shift change, it wouldnt happen again, and the kid was given a referral and made to sit out recess the next day.
Today, basically the same thing happened again. And yet again, the person who was supposed to be surpervising was in the bathroom. According to the principal, my kid and I quote "grabbed him around the neck and took him down". He was given a referral, which was expected, but she wanted to make sure I was going to punish him. I informed her that I certainly would NOT punish him for defending himself. And that if her staff were where they were supposed to be, we wouldnt be having this discussion. She seemed shocked, informed me that of I wont punish him, then they would make him miss recess. And that they dont condone using violence in response to violence. Then she gave me a veiled threat insinuating that a call to CPS may be warranted. I just responded with, "do what you feel is appropriate, as will I" and walked out.
High five son.... high five...
Now Im waiting for a call from CPS. Or do they just show up?? I guess I better pick up the house.
If no one was there, how did they see what your son did? Is it just hearsay from other kids? Well, kids often lie, especially to protect someone like that bully who would beat them up if they didn't.
The principal said they both admitted to it.0 -
Great job to your son for standing up for himself! I think i would have missed recess next day too, since i would have punched the principal too0
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Good for your son ! and good for you !!!
My son has been bullied since Kindergarten , he is now in his last year of Middle school … I have gone to school to talk to teachers and here the same crap - it will not happen again . No tollerance for bullying yet we are to teach our kids to walk away when they are bullied… they poke you and poke you, pinch you and pinch you and you are to walk away ??? I WISH I HAD TAUGHT MY KIDS TO SWING BACK AND MAKE IT HURT DOUBLE ! I son has come home with more black and blues on his arms because of this non sense to just walk away rule crap.
I commend you for sticking up like that , I wish I had . All the trips and letters I wrote to the school where for nothing. The bully just kept on bullying more to the point my son was afraid to tell me because that would mean I would go to the school and the bullies would hurt him even more.
I have wondered if you could press charges on the kid?? with the police?
Do what you have to to protect your son!!0
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