I still see a fat boy in the mirror...

2

Replies

  • SexKittenlovesitrough
    SexKittenlovesitrough Posts: 486
    I always feel this way, too. My husband told me that mirrors above the bed don't make you feel this way so the installer is on the way to put them up now! YAH!


    Just a little tip for those that are feeling this way. You're welcome.

    do I detect a rage quit thread in your future about how new mirrors on your ceiling make you feel so _____ (insert word of choice here)?

    I certainly hope that works for you and if it does please report back!

    As for me, I had pictures taken with my lover's family and my daughter. I swear to g0d I looked like I was all 300 pounds again in those pictures.

    My lover couldn't understand why i was crying.

    I war with myself, but I know the reality of my clothes fitting and the tape measure and as long as I'm not looking in the mirror or staring at pics of myself, I can believe the reality.

    You'll get there OP. Small steps.
  • shaynepoole
    shaynepoole Posts: 493 Member
    I always feel this way, too. My husband told me that mirrors above the bed don't make you feel this way so the installer is on the way to put them up now! YAH!


    Just a little tip for those that are feeling this way. You're welcome.

    Hmmm... I'm going to have to try those mirrors on the ceiling then
  • MityMax96
    MityMax96 Posts: 5,778 Member
    I look in the mirror and see a 6'0", 135 pound kid, with a face full of acne.
  • KrazyDaizy
    KrazyDaizy Posts: 815 Member
    I always feel this way, too. My husband told me that mirrors above the bed don't make you feel this way so the installer is on the way to put them up now! YAH!


    Just a little tip for those that are feeling this way. You're welcome.

    do I detect a rage quit thread in your future about how new mirrors on your ceiling make you feel so _____ (insert word of choice here)?

    I certainly hope that works for you and if it does please report back!

    As for me, I had pictures taken with my lover's family and my daughter. I swear to g0d I looked like I was all 300 pounds again in those pictures.

    My lover couldn't understand why i was crying.

    I war with myself, but I know the reality of my clothes fitting and the tape measure and as long as I'm not looking in the mirror or staring at pics of myself, I can believe the reality.

    You'll get there OP. Small steps.

    I probably will rage quit after the mirrors make me feel like "a fat barbie doll" (inserted words of choice). I will report back to you when I do. Just PM your digits since I will hate MFP and mirrors after this.
  • heatherloveslifting
    heatherloveslifting Posts: 1,428 Member
    I know the feeling, but I suppose I am the opposite. I have always been thin and I thought once I hit 150 that I would be happy. Not even close and I am beginning to wonder when is it going to stop. I figure as long as I am gaining muscle the healthy way, it isn't that bad.

    That's why I said that I ALWAYS carry a bit of insecurity mixed with self confidence. Enough self confidence to continue to improve, and enough insecurity to always let me want more.

    Humility is key. Confidence without cockiness. What's the point in looking better if you just get uglier on the inside?

    Preach it brother. Amen!

    :heart: THIS is why you're amazing.
  • sklarbodds
    sklarbodds Posts: 608 Member
    Truth.

    I know for me...I'm always literally shocked when a good looking girl is interested in me still.

    It's complicated. I like looking in the mirror now and even though it's been 2.5 years...it's still a shock where I've come.

    But I still think of myself as what I was before.
  • Cali_Chica
    Cali_Chica Posts: 895 Member
    Very insightful post. Beauty/aesthetic appeal is as much a state of mind as it physical. However I think a little insecurity mixed with confidence keeps people humble and relatable. Either that or it makes them completely obnoxious.

    I was here before you. Neener.

    Yes but I made a post that was relevant to conversation before you so we are even :tongue:
  • johhunt47
    johhunt47 Posts: 30 Member
    Not that its good to see other people have this problem, it's just comforting to see that I'm not alone in this feeling. I some of the people I work with, although they have been great in supporting me, don't really understand why I feel this way and how it can change almost instantly.

    There are days when I look at myself and see the sexiest beast on earth and others when I still see the 360 lbs lard *kitten* thinking about his next 2-3 slices of pizza. There is a fine line between insecurity and confidence, and it seems like people who have gone through this kind of transformation are still trying find that balance.
  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
    Very insightful post. Beauty/aesthetic appeal is as much a state of mind as it physical. However I think a little insecurity mixed with confidence keeps people humble and relatable. Either that or it makes them completely obnoxious.

    I was here before you. Neener.

    Yes but I made a post that was relevant to conversation before you so we are even :tongue:

    But I was being completely obnoxious before you talked about it in your first post, so I win. :bigsmile:
  • lamarnnem
    lamarnnem Posts: 189
    Dude I understand, I've lost all this weight in 550 days or so, and I suppose it will take me 13 years at this weight or smaller to erase that "fat boy" mentality out of my mind. It's worth it, but it does bother me when people insist that I have lost enough or don't need to do anything else. I'm not out here losing muscle only fat. matter of fact im not losing fat, i'm getting rid of it.
  • ItsMeGee3
    ItsMeGee3 Posts: 13,254 Member
    I don't thik the feeling ever goes away. I know my mental image of myself is at least 15 lbs heavier. Somehow the skinny shorts that I can now fit in, still look fat on me.

    And the 35 lb. ticker below is my MFP starting weight. It's actually closer to 45 lbs. (on a 5' tall frame).
  • SGM_Adonis
    SGM_Adonis Posts: 1,565 Member
    Very insightful post. Beauty/aesthetic appeal is as much a state of mind as it physical. However I think a little insecurity mixed with confidence keeps people humble and relatable. Either that or it makes them completely obnoxious.

    Gracias Chica
  • SGM_Adonis
    SGM_Adonis Posts: 1,565 Member
    Not that its good to see other people have this problem, it's just comforting to see that I'm not alone in this feeling. I some of the people I work with, although they have been great in supporting me, don't really understand why I feel this way and how it can change almost instantly.

    There are days when I look at myself and see the sexiest beast on earth and others when I still see the 360 lbs lard *kitten* thinking about his next 2-3 slices of pizza. There is a fine line between insecurity and confidence, and it seems like people who have gone through this kind of transformation are still trying find that balance.

    Sexy beast....there you go man, you keep killing it. Bro fist.
  • SGM_Adonis
    SGM_Adonis Posts: 1,565 Member
    Dude I understand, I've lost all this weight in 550 days or so, and I suppose it will take me 13 years at this weight or smaller to erase that "fat boy" mentality out of my mind. It's worth it, but it does bother me when people insist that I have lost enough or don't need to do anything else. I'm not out here losing muscle only fat. matter of fact im not losing fat, i'm getting rid of it.

    And there you have it ladies and gentlemen. This guy right here is on my FL. He kills it every day. Trains like a beast, looks great. Looking at this guy, you'd think that he carries himself well, is put together, and doesn't struggle....

    Keep killing it Lamar.
  • TapouTFTW
    TapouTFTW Posts: 72
    I was at my heaviest at around 250 (pre Army). I joined the Army at 190... was fat. left Basic/AIT at 174, still felt fat. Left Kuwait at 162 and 12% body fat, still saw a fat person in the mirror. Don't know if that is ever going to change.
  • SGM_Adonis
    SGM_Adonis Posts: 1,565 Member
    I was at my heaviest at around 250 (pre Army). I joined the Army at 190... was fat. left Basic/AIT at 174, still felt fat. Left Kuwait at 162 and 12% body fat, still saw a fat person in the mirror. Don't know if that is ever going to change.

    A dozen Krispy Kreme in one hand, and a 45lb plate in the other is about best I can describe it bro.

    Thanks for serving. You retired yet? I'm out at Ft. Huachuca.
  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member
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  • ModernNerd
    ModernNerd Posts: 336 Member
    hugs and cauliflower for you OP, I'm right there with you. It's interesting how the comments that stay with us are always the negatives. I still see the gawky rail-thin girl with chipmunk cheeks, grasshopper legs and poofy hair, the girl who was titled "Ugliest Sophomore" that year high school. Yesh, I was a babe and a half... But yes it can feel remarkably ostracizing emotionally when people don't understand why you're not so believing of compliments and chalk it up to vanity when in fact it's the opposite.
  • _Terrapin_
    _Terrapin_ Posts: 4,301 Member
    take the coat off....is your favorite baseball team the Yankees?
  • FJcntdwn2sknyluv
    FJcntdwn2sknyluv Posts: 651 Member
    Yup!..

    I'm down 125lbs.. and I'm wondering what all the fuss is... granted I can see it in pictures.. but then when I look in the mirror I see who I've always seen..
  • SGM_Adonis
    SGM_Adonis Posts: 1,565 Member
    hugs and cauliflower for you OP, I'm right there with you. It's interesting how the comments that stay with us are always the negatives. I still see the gawky rail-thin girl with chipmunk cheeks, grasshopper legs and poofy hair, the girl who was titled "Ugliest Sophomore" that year high school. Yesh, I was a babe and a half... But yes it can feel remarkably ostracizing emotionally when people don't understand why you're not so believing of compliments and chalk it up to vanity when in fact it's the opposite.

    That is horrible...we can be harsh.
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
    Yup, totally get it.
  • odddrums
    odddrums Posts: 342 Member
    I feel you. I've heard it never really goes away, especially if you've seen yourself in a certain way for so long, but I feel like that sort of humility can only make you a stronger person in the end. I know I'm not where I want to be physically right now and that helps motivate me to keep working, but I also know that there might not be a magic number where I'm suddenly happy and everything is perfect which helps me remember to just accept myself.
  • greeneyes0809
    greeneyes0809 Posts: 422 Member
    Yup. I still am in complete shock if a guy comes up to me at a party and hits on me. My initial thought is, "who put you up to this?!". Even the other day, I had to borrow a skirt from a friend and I knew it wouldn't fit, she is way smaller than me after all. To my surprise, the skirt was about two sizes too big. Still didn't change anything. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to see my body how it really looks.
  • Sweetie_darling
    Sweetie_darling Posts: 123 Member
    Yup. I still am in complete shock if a guy comes up to me at a party and hits on me. My initial thought is, "who put you up to this?!". Even the other day, I had to borrow a skirt from a friend and I knew it wouldn't fit, she is way smaller than me after all. To my surprise, the skirt was about two sizes too big. Still didn't change anything. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to see my body how it really looks.

    Exactly!!!
  • Icelandic_Saga
    Icelandic_Saga Posts: 2,926 Member
    Thank goodness I don't see a fat boy in the mirror. That'd be pretty messed up
  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
    Thank goodness I don't see a fat boy in the mirror. That'd be pretty messed up

    :laugh: :laugh:
  • tlcarolinagirl
    tlcarolinagirl Posts: 1,700 Member
    I definitely still see a fat girl in the mirror and honestly, I hope I never lose that. I hope I gain a little bit of self confidence, but I never want to be considered conceited, ya know.
  • The_Aly_Wei
    The_Aly_Wei Posts: 844 Member
    There is beauty in the balance:)
  • SGM_Adonis
    SGM_Adonis Posts: 1,565 Member
    There is beauty in the balance:)

    Perfectly said.

    Gracias azucar.

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