Lamest/funniest excuses for calling in sick
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I have an Eye problem!! I just could not see myself coming to work today....0
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This is exactly that whenever I use a qtip, I tighten the end where the cotton is before using it. I don't trust them XD
It can happen! I got chalk stuck up my nose as a child.I had an employee call in sick bc the tip of her Q-tip got stuck in her ear.. To this day I'm still not sure what to think of it.. Still got a laugh out of it so I let it slide.
I'm sure it can, and it probably did, It was funny getting a call at 6am in a panic bc she was holding the Q-tip stick and couldnt find the end of it in her ear or on the ground, she also mentionned the next day that the Dr. told her it happens quite often. So beware...0 -
How do you tighten the end of a q-tip?
This is exactly that whenever I use a qtip, I tighten the end where the cotton is before using it. I don't trust them XD
It can happen! I got chalk stuck up my nose as a child.I had an employee call in sick bc the tip of her Q-tip got stuck in her ear.. To this day I'm still not sure what to think of it.. Still got a laugh out of it so I let it slide.
I'm sure it can, and it probably did, It was funny getting a call at 6am in a panic bc she was holding the Q-tip stick and couldnt find the end of it in her ear or on the ground, she also mentionned the next day that the Dr. told her it happens quite often. So beware...0 -
"My car is dead so I have to go car shopping"
I have done this0 -
One guy called in and said a squirrel had chewed the power lines so his alarm didn't go off... it could happen, I guess.
A lady that used to work here could've written the book on excuses A couple examples:
- claims she had a "mini-stroke", so she took a week off, but was perfectly recovered the next Monday.
- had food poisoning numerous times - strangely always after long weekends, or events like the Superbowl
- got into an accident where her friend was driving & swerved to the side, but somehow she hit her forehead on the windshield, claimed she had head trauma, but there was no bruising or anything0 -
my close friend said he fell asleep on the wrong train and it was express train to Florida from NYC.0
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True! I called into work because my wife was cleaning the pasta colander and got angel hair stuck under her nail bed and went to the hospital. didn't I fusilli!0
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not to long after that I had to leave work early one day I got a call from my kids that my wife was stuck in the ceiling , she was in the attic putting the Christmas stuff away and stepped between the beams and was hanging halfway through the ceiling in my sons room0
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I an see the cotton falling off those cheap ones
It can happen! I got chalk stuck up my nose as a child.I had an employee call in sick bc the tip of her Q-tip got stuck in her ear.. To this day I'm still not sure what to think of it.. Still got a laugh out of it so I let it slide.0 -
I was tempted to phone in sick because I had a brand new phone at home that I wanted to play with... Thought against it though
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well the excuse would had been someone called you on the new phone you bought and said that this phone was stolen and had to go back to the store the imei number came back stolen and there was a felony crime committed with the id and the fbi was investigating it , and if you don't bring it back you would be arrested for withholding valuable evidenceI was tempted to phone in sick because I had a brand new phone at home that I wanted to play with... Thought against it though0 -
I knew a guy who once worked for Verizon.
He didn't go to work- and DIDN'T call off- because he said he couldn't get a hold of them- No cell service.
...... here's the best part.....
He had a landline too.0 -
I had a coworker who point blank said she was calling in because she was on her period and having diarrhea. TMI.0
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I called off the day after the Blackhawks won both of their cups. Boss already knew I was hungover, so no big deal. Had one guy call off for "dry eye", what ever that is. Funny thing, he lives across town, I saw him driving to work, stop at the light, and then did a u-turn back home.0
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I had this one guy that worked on my project - his job was packing up laptops to ship back to users - not rocket science here or too strenuous. He called in sick at least once a week; the best when he called and left a message saying he hurt his neck and was calling me from the bath tub! WTF!?0
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I once told my boss I was not coming in because I did not feel like it. I was 22 and felt invincible. Now I kill off family members and had a ton of plumbing issues.0
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Best I heard was three days after a snow storm an employee could not come in because the sun had not melted the snow in his driveway yet.0
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I have a bad case of anal glaucoma and just can't see my *kitten* coming into work today :laugh:0
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I am certain my coworkers think I'm making some of my reasons for needing time off up. Many of them have to do with my cat. For example:
1. He once clawed open the draw to my nightstand and then somehow caused it to topple onto his head after that. He seemed sluggish so I took him to the vet and stayed home to monitor him the rest of the day
2. After a vet appointment, he was once extremely drowsy and kept falling off furniture. I had to stay home to keep him safe from himself.
3. I once had an infestation of box beetles from a printer I bought at best buy. The exterminator said we had to remove ourselves and our cats for 8 hours. I somehow got the apartment office to agree to let us use a conference room all day, so I stayed home and worked remotely from the conference room0 -
I called in once with Pinkeye because I wanted the weekend off. Considering how contagious it was I figure they wouldn't even want me coming in to see for themselves & by the next week "it would be gone" and I could go back to work!0
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Best one I ever used. Called in to the boss, whom I like. Told her I would not be coming in today. She said really why. I said because right now I hate you all and have nothing nice to say so I am just going to stay home and keep it to myself. Her reply...good idea.0
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I have an Eye problem!! I just could not see myself coming to work today....
Or you can have called anal glaucoma - you just can't see your *kitten* coming into work today.0 -
hemorrhoid exploded...one of my employees called in with that...I thought it was hilarious and LMFAO all day...I'm kinda still laughing.0
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Sort of related, kind of. My friend works with a guy who really wanted to go to a concert. He asked for time off and was denied. As such, he decided to call in sick that day. However, he knew he wouldn't get away with it since he'd already asked for time off, so he concocted a plan to use ipecac to induce vomiting at work in front of people. He even did a "dry run" (if you can call it that) to get the dosage and timing right.0
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These are both ones I have honestly had to use.
This one was in the states. It was so cold.. my garage wouldn't open more than 6 inches and my car clearly wouldn't fit through that. I literally could not get to work. Had to wait for a friend to take me. Haha. My boss got a kick out of that one.
In London.. I got a call that my flat was on fire. So I left half way through the day to find out one of our electrical plugs had caught fire and spread up the wall before one of my flatties (that thankfully was home) stopped it. My company never believed me. Even after I showed them pictures.
This one was one a co-worker used. She partied way too hard (often) and once got mugged outside a night club. No phone, no keys, and was pretty badly bruised with loads of broken bones. She had no way to call work in the morning and ended up just not coming in. She luckily didn't get fired.. but she nearly did. Bless her.0 -
I got a call from one of my employees that he had locked himself in his house. He had keyed deadbolts and his wife had HIS keys in her purse.
I also had a lady call in because her uncle had died. A few months later she called in citing the same uncle had died.
In school my mother would allow us to skip a day or two if we wanted and drafted some generic notes saying that we had diarrhea or severe sinus problems. Handed those to the teacher the next day and we were good.0 -
My friend and I worked together and often went to lunch together. One day we went to the candy store at lunch and bought a 1 lb. bag of sugar free chocolates and ate them all throughout the course of the afternoon. The next day we both called in sick with explosive diarrhea. Neither of us knew that the other had called in sick until the following day. Our boss was not amused.0
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This is all Duley noted!!! I'm sorry i'm on the other end of the coin and am fed up of my employees phoning in with excuses!! I'll remember some of these :grumble: :
The best one is an employee phoning in becasue his wife had toothache:huh:0 -
Had an employee use her 7 days sick time in the first 7 days of the year, so then relatives in Mexico started dying. She forged a letter from a real funeral home. Her supervisor called them up and was able to prove her forgery and lies. She was fired!0
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Fortunately, most of my jobs have been for family or friends' companies. So, if I didn't want to go in to work, it was pretty easy to get out of working because whatever I wanted to go do, they probably wanted to go do it with me.
Working for my friend, I'd frequently use, "I don't feel like working this weekend. Wanna go to Vegas?" We'd hop on a plane and go.
One time that I did work for a "corporation", I called in with...
I just adopted a new puppy. (truth - about 7 months old)
He's not housetrained yet. (truth - he could use the doggy door, but didn't know to "hold it" while he was inside)
I can't leave him out in the yard because we don't have a fence yet. (truth - we'd just moved in and hadn't put one up yet)
I tried to shut him in the bathroom, so he'd be somewhere that he wouldn't hurt anything if he did his business inside. When I shut the door, he freaked out... barking/howling and scratching through the 6-panel door. (truth - he got about half way through the door; BTW... I wouldn't suggest this option since I'm now an animal rescuer; I didn't know any better then)
I tried to block him in the kitchen, using baby gates, but he kept ripping them out of the doorway. (truth - it was kinda funny how strong this little guy was)
So, in order to keep my sanity and my house in 1 piece, I'm gonna need to stay home and work on housetraining my puppy.
Another time, once we got the fence put up, I called in because that same puppy had grown up and figured out how to dig his way out, under the fence and would roam the neighborhood. (I thought that was supposed to stop after they were neutered. Not with him.) He was pissed off about something and refused to stay in the yard. I had an asthma attack while chasing him down.
Man, I loved that dog, but he was a handful! Eventually, I learned when he escaped, I had to just jump in my car, to chase him down.0
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