Lamest/funniest excuses for calling in sick

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13

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  • BootCampC
    BootCampC Posts: 689 Member
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    I was tempted to phone in sick because I had a brand new phone at home that I wanted to play with... Thought against it though :)
    well the excuse would had been someone called you on the new phone you bought and said that this phone was stolen and had to go back to the store the imei number came back stolen and there was a felony crime committed with the id and the fbi was investigating it , and if you don't bring it back you would be arrested for withholding valuable evidence
  • Jill_newimprovedversion
    Jill_newimprovedversion Posts: 988 Member
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    I knew a guy who once worked for Verizon.
    He didn't go to work- and DIDN'T call off- because he said he couldn't get a hold of them- No cell service.
    ...... here's the best part.....
    He had a landline too.
  • Zumba365
    Zumba365 Posts: 10 Member
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    I had a coworker who point blank said she was calling in because she was on her period and having diarrhea. TMI.
  • Trad78
    Trad78 Posts: 22 Member
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    I called off the day after the Blackhawks won both of their cups. Boss already knew I was hungover, so no big deal. Had one guy call off for "dry eye", what ever that is. Funny thing, he lives across town, I saw him driving to work, stop at the light, and then did a u-turn back home.
  • disneygallagirl
    disneygallagirl Posts: 515 Member
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    I had this one guy that worked on my project - his job was packing up laptops to ship back to users - not rocket science here or too strenuous. He called in sick at least once a week; the best when he called and left a message saying he hurt his neck and was calling me from the bath tub! WTF!?
  • Sovi_
    Sovi_ Posts: 575 Member
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    I once told my boss I was not coming in because I did not feel like it. I was 22 and felt invincible. Now I kill off family members and had a ton of plumbing issues.
  • Monkey_Business
    Monkey_Business Posts: 1,800 Member
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    Best I heard was three days after a snow storm an employee could not come in because the sun had not melted the snow in his driveway yet.
  • fatboy235
    fatboy235 Posts: 147 Member
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    I have a bad case of anal glaucoma and just can't see my *kitten* coming into work today :laugh:
  • TAsunder
    TAsunder Posts: 423 Member
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    I am certain my coworkers think I'm making some of my reasons for needing time off up. Many of them have to do with my cat. For example:

    1. He once clawed open the draw to my nightstand and then somehow caused it to topple onto his head after that. He seemed sluggish so I took him to the vet and stayed home to monitor him the rest of the day

    2. After a vet appointment, he was once extremely drowsy and kept falling off furniture. I had to stay home to keep him safe from himself.

    3. I once had an infestation of box beetles from a printer I bought at best buy. The exterminator said we had to remove ourselves and our cats for 8 hours. I somehow got the apartment office to agree to let us use a conference room all day, so I stayed home and worked remotely from the conference room
  • monkeywizard
    monkeywizard Posts: 222 Member
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    I called in once with Pinkeye because I wanted the weekend off. Considering how contagious it was I figure they wouldn't even want me coming in to see for themselves & by the next week "it would be gone" and I could go back to work!
  • tired1015
    tired1015 Posts: 1
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    Best one I ever used. Called in to the boss, whom I like. Told her I would not be coming in today. She said really why. I said because right now I hate you all and have nothing nice to say so I am just going to stay home and keep it to myself. Her reply...good idea.
  • ShibaEars
    ShibaEars Posts: 3,928 Member
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    I have an Eye problem!! I just could not see myself coming to work today....

    Or you can have called anal glaucoma - you just can't see your *kitten* coming into work today.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,867 Member
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    hemorrhoid exploded...one of my employees called in with that...I thought it was hilarious and LMFAO all day...I'm kinda still laughing.
  • TAsunder
    TAsunder Posts: 423 Member
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    Sort of related, kind of. My friend works with a guy who really wanted to go to a concert. He asked for time off and was denied. As such, he decided to call in sick that day. However, he knew he wouldn't get away with it since he'd already asked for time off, so he concocted a plan to use ipecac to induce vomiting at work in front of people. He even did a "dry run" (if you can call it that) to get the dosage and timing right.
  • nmncare
    nmncare Posts: 168 Member
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    These are both ones I have honestly had to use.

    This one was in the states. It was so cold.. my garage wouldn't open more than 6 inches and my car clearly wouldn't fit through that. I literally could not get to work. Had to wait for a friend to take me. Haha. My boss got a kick out of that one.

    In London.. I got a call that my flat was on fire. So I left half way through the day to find out one of our electrical plugs had caught fire and spread up the wall before one of my flatties (that thankfully was home) stopped it. My company never believed me. Even after I showed them pictures.

    This one was one a co-worker used. She partied way too hard (often) and once got mugged outside a night club. No phone, no keys, and was pretty badly bruised with loads of broken bones. She had no way to call work in the morning and ended up just not coming in. She luckily didn't get fired.. but she nearly did. Bless her.
  • MagJam2004
    MagJam2004 Posts: 651 Member
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    I got a call from one of my employees that he had locked himself in his house. He had keyed deadbolts and his wife had HIS keys in her purse.

    I also had a lady call in because her uncle had died. A few months later she called in citing the same uncle had died.

    In school my mother would allow us to skip a day or two if we wanted and drafted some generic notes saying that we had diarrhea or severe sinus problems. Handed those to the teacher the next day and we were good.
  • magtart
    magtart Posts: 161 Member
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    My friend and I worked together and often went to lunch together. One day we went to the candy store at lunch and bought a 1 lb. bag of sugar free chocolates and ate them all throughout the course of the afternoon. The next day we both called in sick with explosive diarrhea. Neither of us knew that the other had called in sick until the following day. Our boss was not amused.
  • victal
    victal Posts: 1,375 Member
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    This is all Duley noted!!! I'm sorry i'm on the other end of the coin and am fed up of my employees phoning in with excuses!! I'll remember some of these :grumble: :

    The best one is an employee phoning in becasue his wife had toothache:huh:
  • CountDown321
    CountDown321 Posts: 117 Member
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    Had an employee use her 7 days sick time in the first 7 days of the year, so then relatives in Mexico started dying. She forged a letter from a real funeral home. Her supervisor called them up and was able to prove her forgery and lies. She was fired!
  • HealthyishWithMaggieG
    HealthyishWithMaggieG Posts: 397 Member
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    Fortunately, most of my jobs have been for family or friends' companies. So, if I didn't want to go in to work, it was pretty easy to get out of working because whatever I wanted to go do, they probably wanted to go do it with me.

    Working for my friend, I'd frequently use, "I don't feel like working this weekend. Wanna go to Vegas?" We'd hop on a plane and go.

    One time that I did work for a "corporation", I called in with...
    I just adopted a new puppy. (truth - about 7 months old)
    He's not housetrained yet. (truth - he could use the doggy door, but didn't know to "hold it" while he was inside)
    I can't leave him out in the yard because we don't have a fence yet. (truth - we'd just moved in and hadn't put one up yet)
    I tried to shut him in the bathroom, so he'd be somewhere that he wouldn't hurt anything if he did his business inside. When I shut the door, he freaked out... barking/howling and scratching through the 6-panel door. (truth - he got about half way through the door; BTW... I wouldn't suggest this option since I'm now an animal rescuer; I didn't know any better then)
    I tried to block him in the kitchen, using baby gates, but he kept ripping them out of the doorway. (truth - it was kinda funny how strong this little guy was)
    So, in order to keep my sanity and my house in 1 piece, I'm gonna need to stay home and work on housetraining my puppy.

    Another time, once we got the fence put up, I called in because that same puppy had grown up and figured out how to dig his way out, under the fence and would roam the neighborhood. (I thought that was supposed to stop after they were neutered. Not with him.) He was pissed off about something and refused to stay in the yard. I had an asthma attack while chasing him down.

    Man, I loved that dog, but he was a handful! Eventually, I learned when he escaped, I had to just jump in my car, to chase him down.

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