how to motivate my spouse

RllyGudTweetr

You can't be the food police or the exercise police. He has to want to take care of himself.

Ding ding. If you're (generic "you") exercising for anyone other than the person in the mirror, it seems to me you've got your priorities wrong and are more likely to fail.

KANGOOJUMPS

well, if you do not do it together
there are lots of other hotties out there that will.
giddy up.

spikrgrl503

I tried this. My husband joined the gym but never wanted to go when I wanted to go. I wound up going less because I didn't want to "force him" to go. Eventually he told me he just hates doing it and so I do my own thing now. You can't force somebody to do something they dont want to do. You'll both regret it.

ninerbuff

My husband and I are newlyweds - we have only been married for about 5 months! We have both gained some weight since the wedding, and I am trying to set a good example. I joined a gym, work out consistently, and do all the grocery shopping and cooking so that we can have a healthful meal at least 5 nights a week.

We both work the same amount of hours a week, and get home around the same time, so I have been encouraging him to join my gym with me. He usually claims that he's too tired or just wants to relax instead of going to the gym.

I want us both to be healthy so that we can have a long and happy life together - I also think that working out together would strengthen our marriage! How can I convince him that this is something we should do together?

You can't convince him. He has to do that on his own. And trust that mentioning it all the time isn't going to encourage him to go. Just do what you do. If he's interested, he'll end up going.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

fitphoenix

OP, it's admirable and very natural that you want your husband to be as healthy as he can be; we usually want the best for the ones we love, right? But like everyone else has said, motivation comes from within. Your profile says that you've been struggling with your weight since you were a teenager--so I'm going to go out on a limb and hope that means that at some point in your life someone else wanted *you* to lose the weight when you weren't at that place. Did you do it then? Probably not, or not for long. Did you need someone to tell you that you needed to lose weight? Probably not, because you already knew. Do you remember what it felt like to be told that (directly or indirectly)? Hold onto that feeling and apply it to the current situation.

That sort of pressure makes a lot of people rebel; we *know* what we need to do, but we might not be ready to do it, so laudable as it is to want your family to be healthy, all you can do is worry about your best health and keep leading by example. Your husband will join you when he's ready (which hopefully won't be long but could be, alas).

All the best to you and your family!

TXEXrunner

XO - I applaud your effort - your motives are exactly where they should be - a healthier you and your husband. Don't ever stop making that a priority in your marriage.
Change is hard (especially for us guys) but with marriage comes a lot of change (and compromise). Continue to impress upon him how important workouts and healthy eating are to you. Working out together also means time together - something important to all married couples (as you note strengthens the marriage). Especially as newlyweds (I expect y'all are still "stupid in love" about each other) time doing anything together is highly desirable. You may also consider inviting him to help prepare dinner with you, another opportunity at time together.
Perhaps walks around the neighborhood or other fitness activities outside the gym may be a near term "compromise" that meets your needs/ goals. Let him know you respect his decision, but continue to encourage him to join you in those activities you like to do. Best of luck.