I'm dying, 18,000 cal binge, final tommorow? :(

azyzzam

I clearly have problems, and therapy is not working but what can I do? I have an exam tommorow and on Thursday that I didn't study for bc I was stuffing my face today. Tommorow I might be able to pass with some review in a couple hours and some coffee bc I did the practice problems.

This is by far the worst binge I have ever ever ever had. It's clicked. I'm bingeing because I'm fat and want to get away from studying. I'm not going to do this ever again. But I feel hopeless right now about everything. The weight gain, the possible failed exams, looking like I'm pregnant tommorow...

Please help, anyone else been in this situation? My friends/family would be horrified if they found out I ate this much in one day, not supportive.

And it really was 20,000 cals. I ate an extra 2 bowls of granola last night and thought I had messed up anyway so I are everything I could get my hands on today.

-another 600 cals of granola with full fat milk
-20z buffalo fried chicken
-jar of chocolate spread
-peanut butter shake
-lobster roll
-2 packets ramen noodles w/ chicken
-turkey and veggies
-egg
-3 slices coffee cake
-6 cups yogurt with honey
-4 date and nut bars
-2 mugs hot chocolate
-4 slices of pizza
-1/2 liter coconut water
And I kept snacking back and forth

I obv not going to binge today and tommorow but I'm tempted to fast tommorow? Or should I eat normal even though I'm gaining like 6 pounds and more water weight??? But I always feel like bingeing again the next day.

Thank you

chefwrx

That's impressive. I have a hard time eating more than 3K and I weigh 180.

RadScorp

This is sad. Please be kind to yourself.

*Don't* starve yourself tomorrow. Don't torture yourself over one day of bad eating, just drink plenty of water and take some time for you. Treat yourself to a nice hot bath, or go out and buy something new for yourself. It sounds like you've been under a lot of pressure lately, it sounds like you need a break. The worst thing you could do is make tomorrow another fixation over food, it's a vicious cycle. I know it too well.

Be safe, and don't beat yourself up over it. You deserve better.

triciaaa17

hi:) i am a stress eater,binger,purger,anorexic (recovered)/starver myself too and i can tell you that yes recovering from that is not easy at all because i recently stopped binging for two month but one day i started binging and i binged very two day or everyday for two or three months now. this week i decided that i had enough of hating myself and i accepted that this is not a diet. this is about me feeling good about my body and being comfortable looking in the mirror in a bikini or shorts or whatever. only by not binging and eating as clean as i can like choosing porridge instead of fried dumpling, my stomach decreased. i know from my profile picture i might not look very fat or thin but you can only see it if i wear nothing or little clothing. its not as big as others i admit but it is for me. just telling you that if you need help lots of people helped me go through this. i dunno if you heard about blogilates, but u can search it in the app store and on youtube or blogilates.com. its a fitness community. there are anorexic bullimic recoverers and bingers and everything they know exactly how you might feel and how i felt and they helped me get through it. if i can you can because i have the will power of a homeless person i will eat anything

Fuzz610

Nothing you can do about the binge now. Forget about it, and start fresh tomorrow.
Everybody screws up once in a while.

MysteriousLdy

@_@ Dont get anxious, calm down. Tomorrow is a new day..You can start fresh

MissBabyJane

Start fresh, tomorrow. Workout a little bit harder, maybe cut 100/200 calories from your daily intake the next few days. At least that's what I would do. Good luck

michellemybelll

after eating 20,000 calories in one day, you're most likely not going to be hungry at all the next day. don't force yourself to eat if you're not hungry. honestly i don't think it would be bad if you fasted the next day. 20000 calories is a lot of ****en food; your body will be more than properly fueled for the next 24 hours.

mimieon

Can it be that you are scared of failure and you use food to avoid studying (if you don't study then you haven't really tried, so you haven't really failed?)? I notice this behavior in myself sometimes.

nenshali

I cannot recommend you to fast!
I'm in recovery for bulimia now, so I know abou those kind of binges as well. Don't fast, otherwise there is a high risk that you are getting into a vicious cycle where you'll binge again, starve again etc. ..
Listen to your body. Treat yourself in a nice manner.
I know you are angry about what happened, but it happened anyway and you cannot change it anymore. And there is no reason to punish yourself in any way for this.

Try to move on and to continue. Try not to compensate it too hard.
If you actually don't feel hungry at all, it's okay to eat something light only. But if you feel hungry (and I can confirm, that after >10000 kcal you still can feel very hungry the next day), treat yourself right. Don't fast, don't hunger.

Eat normally. Try not to focus on food too much. I know it's a welcome excuse not to focus on studying which is the real trigger for your stress. But if you tomorrow again can't focus on studying, instead of food, try to do some yoga or go out for a walk. Or even paint something. I know it seems contraproductive after you have so much to do, but you won't learn too much if you stare at your books for an hour and start your binges after that.

It's better to actively encourage yourself to do something nice (and food unrelated!) and maybe you can find the strength to start studying afterwards again.

Don't worry, you will overcome that

GertrudeHorse

The best way to avoid a binge/restriction cycle is to start eating normal intake the day after a binge. Do not try and restrict or compensate. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to punish yourself for the binge. Focus on nourishing your body and healing your mind. Try and be your own best friend

RyanJK85

thats crazy...but dont make it a habit...start new the next day...next time this is happening talk to your friends on here before going crazy...and do not fast....drink water, flush out your system, kick *kitten* tomorrow

eldamiano

Just eat normally.

msf74

Just eat normally.

Do this (do not fast) and then read this if traditional therapy isn't working:

http://www.brainoverbinge.com/

Play_outside

Eat normally, otherwise you might find it even harder to concentrate on your exams and such. Also, try to get some (extra) exercise! This is a great way to combat stress. Does your college offer counseling? Most offer free counseling to students (Canadian universities and colleges anyway, I don't know about the US but usually there are things available to students). You can likely request an emergency session. They can often help you work though issues and teach you some tools for stress management. Try and break things into manageable pieces and just go day to day. Don't try and tackle everything at once, and don't beat yourself up over binging-every day is an opportunity to be healthier. Instead of starting the binge cycle, try and do something productive-go for a walk, clean your room, call a friend. Break studying down into pieces-study for a bit and then go for a walk, watch a bit of tv or have some computer time-but set an alarm if you're doing tv or computer so you don't get sucked in and waste all of your study time! Good luck on your exams!

SlenderSelah

You are not alone, I've done this, usually when I am trying to avoid real life issues. Just listing all the food and working out the calories (logging it) is a positive step. My advice:

- Don't fast, eat healthy and treat yourself instead, realize that you're going through a stressful time, get a manicure, condition your hair, someone said go shopping...I agree. Treat yourself to something that has nothing to do with food.

-Drink lots of water/ green tea/ cranberry juice. You're body is stuffed full of junk, you need to flush it all out.

-Study for the exam (just do it!!) you will feel a lot more confident going in there.

-Exercise, it will help with the stress and help burn a few of those calories off.

-Start again "this is the first day of the rest of your life", press that mental "re-set" button

Hope this helps ((((big hug))) and good luck.

neandermagnon

Just to echo the advice about not fasting or restricting your calories tomorrow... just eat normally and don't get hungry. Undereating is in itself a trigger for binge eating. That's a major reason why it's a good idea for fat loss to have a small deficit and aim to lose the fat slowly, as it avoids being in a cycle of excessive restriction and binge eating. And if there are other factors that are triggering binge eating, e.g. stress, undereating just makes the whole thing much, much worse. So please just eat normally, and don't beat yourself up about it.

paperfiish

Be kind to yourself. Binge eating is a flawed coping mechanism, as is restricting/"punishing". You were stressed out about exams, and you turned to coping in an unhealthy manner, but that's ok: every moment is a new chance to try out healthy coping skills. If you fail this moment (whether it's eating a bowl of granola or eating 20K calories in a day) that doesn't mean you'll fail the next moment.

Just keep being kind to yourself, apply that kindness to yourself under stress, and give your body what it needs tomorrow regardless of today's binge, and try to be kind to yourself regardless of how you feel about or do on the exams. Certainly punishing yourself for binging won't help you study, so why waste the energy on it? If you need to destress before you take them, you might find something like the Meditation Oasis podcast to be a useful tool to use before the test (they have a like 5 minute destresser meditation that's really good for helping you focus). Also, for the future, you might also find some useful advice in Kati Morton's videos on youtube, she focuses on anxiety disorders with a strong emphasis on disordered eating and has a few videos on binge eating in her playlists.

Good luck with your exam!

LKArgh

I posted on another thread you made I think too. You need psychiatric help, there is no point in feeling guilty or looking for a way to fix things here. You are at an age where it is the most common time for behavioural and psychological issues to first appear or get serious and you need professional help. Get an appointment with a psychiatrist. There is help out there, if you look for it and you do not need to torture yourself. You cannot deal with this on your own, and it is ok. There is no shame in being ill, please talk to a dr.

ironanimal

I'm not going to do this ever again.

Then don't sweat it.

mamadon

I can really relate. When I go on a binge, I am truly amazed at the amount of food I can eat in a day. Binge eating can be an illness or an addiction and I agree with others, you could benefit with some help for it. It does no good to say you will never do it again. If your like me, chances are that you will. Just take it a day at a time. Tell yourself that today you will not binge eat. Also, at your weight, you are not fat.

ThinWhiteDuchess

I bet that took some guts to write and post - well done. You must have been stressed out of your mind to eat that way, but please, don't worry about it any further. The past is in the past and unless you're the Doctor, there's very little one can do about it now. One binge, no matter the size, cannot hinder your body in any way noticeable (apart from the full stomach and a bit of water retention, but that will disappear in a matter of a few hours, maybe a day).
When I first tried to recover on my own, I failed miserably - I would starve an entire day, then, I would eat around 10 000 - 15 000 calories the next day. I didn't visible gain weight, I stayed exactly the same because of the starving day ahead. And again, and again, and again. I failed exams, I had to pretend nothing was happening, I was so f*cking miserable. So I know, at least roughly, how you must be feeling.
The worst thing you can do is punish yourself and lock yourself away. You need to be around people who love you, people who care. If you feel ashamed, you don't have to tell them why you're sad - just express the need for company. A need to help another person when that person is in need of help is built firmly into the psyche of every human being.
Don't starve. Your body has just had a massive boost of just about every happy chemical food can provide and will be asking for more - eat until you feel satisfied, don't restrict.
Remind yourself it's a binge, not the apocalypse. The four horsemen won't come charging into your backyard just because you ate 20k.
Focus on something else, like the studying you need to get done. If you immerse yourself in something time-consuming and productive, you'll feel much better as the day goes on.
I wish you the best of luck, lovely lady.

lambchoplewis1

I have been there also!! It amazes me how much I can eat!! Then I feel sick and want to just sleep. I have learned to get on a routine as this is the only way I can stop this. Also, I have been know to out something in. Y mouth and spit it out in sink or garbage as I know it is not good. Once I start it is like an out of body experience.

I know this is controversial but, I weigh myself every morning as it does keep me from shoving things into my mouth. I know you have to be able to handle a 2-3 lb increase overnight when following your plan. Then I log my food and exercise, I read these post many times during the day to stay motivated.

Study for the exam even if u feel like crap. Start correct eating and just go for walk to exercise. U can do it!!

quirkytizzy

I have no advice to give, but just wanted to put in my support. I hope you feel better soon.

NatalieSkywalker

Today was bad, tomorrow will be better.
Just forget it happened and work towards not doing it again.

rsteinberg07

20K is a lot.

Your talking about 2 Weeks of calories.

If your not hungry the next day, i wouldnt force it.

If your hungry just try and watch it.

Sandytoes71

Bump to read. U r not alone!

andrejjorje

+1.

Nothing you can do about the binge now. Forget about it, and start fresh tomorrow.
Everybody screws up once in a while.

jkirby02

I think it speaks volumes that you are asking for help AANNDD that you realize why you are overeating. I just realized myself - both are the same - stress. Food is definitely a comfort while we are eating - then it turns stressful after we are done, like What in the World did I just DO!!! I think the more you stay on these boards (but don't take time away from studying) you will see many of us have the same issues and we are here to help! I noticed you lost 18 lbs so far - AWESOME!!! Keep going - go to the mall when you have a minute - the Spring line is out - see if those nice clothes motivate you. I am a Christian and I tend to pray and stop to focus on Jesus to help me. I don't know where your stand is on Jesus - but if you believe, cling to Him to get you through the rough times. It doesn't mean the rough times will end, it means you will find His strength to get you through the rough times. I hope you do really well on your exam and that this message helps. HAVE A GREAT DAY!!

korvyr

Wow um, what impels you to eat so much? And a good thing to note is

- People cannot be supportive of you if you are not of yourself. People cannot motivate another person, completely.
- A jar of chocolate...seriously? What even tells you to do that?
- Eating all those veggies and fruits along with horrible food does nothing for your body, except maybe trick yourself into thinking you did good.

I'd really think about what you want in life, I'm a week into a vegetarian lfiestyle and thoguh it's hard, the most I intake a day is 1200-1300 calories. My recommended is 1900. Low carbs, low everything.

It's hard but think about what you want in life ~ I wanna be healthy and fit, I wanna be able to do things without my knees hurting.

mscrystallee

I went though a stint with BED (Binge Eating Disorder) years ago, it was messy and I created a cycle of consuming so much food, feeling guilt and doing it all over again. I gained 75 lbs in one year, I was hiding food (like empty boxes of Little Debbie snacks) in my car. The only thing that worked for me was therapy,but it didn't help overnight. First you need to stop punishing yourself and start the process of healing before you can worry about the next step