I'm dying, 18,000 cal binge, final tommorow? :(

pattybate

Good God! You haave way too much time on your hands. Get busy with friends and family and why are those things at your reach in the first place?

I would guess food is at her disposal because she's an adult human in a first-world country.
I think you should probably re-think that whole, "I'm a Christian" thing based on this post, ma'am.

FYI: Jesus associated with people who made much worse choices.

"She's an adult human in a first-world country"- while I loved every single comment you posted, this one is my favourite. Well done friend.

To the young lady who originally posted, it gets better- don't stop trying. You will ALWAYS have bad days, it's how you react to them that needs to change.

ScottF83

Well, that, or the last few comments in yet another thread that was locked and forever forgotten.

*shrug*

Religion just got mentioned... so I fear the above

jofjltncb6

Well, that, or the last few comments in yet another thread that was locked and forever forgotten.

*shrug*

Religion just got mentioned... so I fear the above

Valid point.



Perhaps another day...

...another time...

...another thread.



Perhaps.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

That is a lot of food. I'm impressed. How can you afford it?! My housekeeping would be horrendous if I ate that much.
Seems you're in a vicious circle.Suggest you get out of it 'cos this isn't good.

You are impressed by an eating disorder and think other people's financial situation is your business? Right. And excellent call on this being a vicious circle -- why do you think the OP doesn't know that and seeking help to do that very thing with this post?

Unbelievable.

rhonda6373

It took a lot of courage to post that and I applaud you. I hope you are feeling better today. I actually have another issue that I go to support meetings for and I think I may be a borderline binge eater. I have thought about going to OA before. That might be something to consider -- you would have people around you with the same issues and the support you need. I get a great amount of support at my meetings and could not make it without them. 90% of the people in those meetings are compassionate and want to help. Please ignore any negative comments as people a lot of times just don't understand. I will send you a friend request and I wish you the best.

uconnwinsnc

That is a lot of food. I'm impressed. How can you afford it?! My housekeeping would be horrendous if I ate that much.

Irrelevant

Seems you're in a vicious circle.Suggest you get out of it 'cos this isn't good.

She obviously knows that - hence the post

Really? If I can't afford something, I can't get it. Simples.

She is a student so I assume she has access to a dining hall. Unlimited food whenever you want.

azyzzam

UPDATE:

Because all of you guys took the time to respond and help me out, I wanted to give an update. I am so thankful for all the help and support, don't know what would happen without it.

-I feel horrible, bloated, sickly, look pregnant. I look like a teletubby. I had to borrow my moms sweater today.
-I did well on my exam, I dont want to jinx myself but I think I got an A. For sure atleast a B+.
-I have another one tommorow, as well as a practical, that I didn't study at alll for so I'm going to study for those today.
-Wed. are usually my rest days, but I might workout idk. I do really need to study.

Last night I was supposed to study, but I fell asleep and woke up and reviewed for only an hour but still was able to do all the questions. It's physics btw. But I forgot my hmwk, which isn't too bad bc I can do it this weekend and turn it in on Monday or itll count as my "dropped" score.

I almost went to vons and picked up soda and chocolate on my way home, but I was lucky I forgot my wallet at home.
I just ate normal so far, eggs and veggies, coffee, yogurt, sandwich, and an apple, probably 800-900 cal

I really really need to study, but will respond more after tommorow. Exam is over 9:20pm, so have a while to go still. Thank you so sososososo much again, and I will respond to messages whenever I get the chance.

Also (bc I saw some comments):
-yes, its really me in the picture
-I'm actually 140 lbs now bc of all the bingeing
-I am actually pretty busy (for whoever said I have too much time on my hands)
-I volunteer 16 hrs a week, work 20 hrs, taking 12 units at college (live at home), and doing a bunch of other things on the side.

nenshali

That's awesome! You are doing great :flowerforyou:

Try not to do too much at once. You have a lot to study- so take that rest day. Do something relaxing while you are not studying!
Give yourself some free time.

http://8tracks.com/libbyschiller/concentration

If you need some music, I find this one quite useful while studying. Good luck!
Take care of yourself and if you need help- go for it! You are not alone

lambchoplewis1

Great job in exam and mental attitude. I always feel like crap after a binge but it does get better in a few days with eating right.
Ps-I love physics and chemistry and became a chemical engineer!!!

jkirby02

Yayeeee!!!! I'm so glad - great job ignoring all of the hurtful advice. You go GIRL!!! BRAVA!!!!

DamePiglet

Sandytoes71

Just eat normally.

THANK U for this link!! I totally get what the author is saying and it is right on for me!!

Do this (do not fast) and then read this if traditional therapy isn't working:

http://www.brainoverbinge.com/

Sandytoes71

Wow um, what impels you to eat so much? And a good thing to note is

- People cannot be supportive of you if you are not of yourself. People cannot motivate another person, completely.
- A jar of chocolate...seriously? What even tells you to do that?
- Eating all those veggies and fruits along with horrible food does nothing for your body, except maybe trick yourself into thinking you did good.

I'd really think about what you want in life, I'm a week into a vegetarian lfiestyle and thoguh it's hard, the most I intake a day is 1200-1300 calories. My recommended is 1900. Low carbs, low everything.

It's hard but think about what you want in life ~ I wanna be healthy and fit, I wanna be able to do things without my knees hurting.

Well, I guess you have all the answers huh? Sounds like you have it all just figured out? You seriously sound like a complete moron! And I am being nice!

Sandytoes71

Good God! You haave way too much time on your hands. Get busy with friends and family and why are those things at your reach in the first place?

Seriously??!! THIS is what your brain told your fingers to type??!! Of all the great things you could have typed......you chose THIS??!!!! Wow, great contribution.

blizzardsmom

The exam will come and you will write it no matter if you binge or not. I do understand stress eating, I have been there. I just started a book called 'The Promise", they mention accepting what has happened, and move on. Don't wish for change cause it won't happen. Be proactive! I'm glad you forgot your wallet and couldn't stop on the way home. Not going back out to get some thing was proactive. Clean your cupboards of all the nasty temptations. You are in control of you. I personally hate the feeling after a binge so I choose not to go there anymore. As well I don't keep my trigger foods in the house. I love ice cream, none in my fridge, if I want it I have to go out, and it is so expensive to just get a scoop, can almost by a carton in some cases the carton is cheeper. All things that I can think about while getting to that ice cream if I still want it once I get there.

Go easy on yourself it was 1 day in your life. Move past it. Give yourself a big hug and

Hit those books :-)

xscat

Oh girl... If it makes you feel better back in my school days I'd either gain 15lbs during final weeks from stress eating and no time to exercise or lose 10lbs from not eating or barely eating....

You are an overachiever, your own worst critic, trying everything to not be a failure (even though in other people's eyes you are the farthest thing away from a failure). I still struggle with that. But realizing its nature makes it easier for me to just laugh as my attempt of "trying to be less of a failure".

You are awesome, and you are NOT fat. Of course you know that. But the evil voice in your head just keeps telling you otherwise... So my advice would be, it is really OK.You need to keep reminding yourself that you are an awesome person who has achieved a LOT. Just because you binged doesn't mean you are less respectable of a person-- we all love food and most of us on this website at least at one point were either afraid of food or loved it too much. Being with someone who cares about you and loves you would help too.

Edit: HUGS

leannegray31

Something to keep in mind - if you struggle with bingeing during times of stress, you might want to aim for maintenance during times that you expect to feel overwhelmed (finals, exams, family events, whatever). You may not hit your weight loss goals as quickly as you might like, but you might have a better chance of not setting yourself back with bingeing. I know for myself that part of the problem can be trying to do too many things at once. If you have a lot on your plate, maybe focus on getting adequate exercise (whatever is fairly easy and simple to incorporate into your schedule) and aim to eat healthfully at whatever your TDEE is. Try to get on a schedule with eating - being a little more regimented (for instance, eating the same thing for breakfast at the same time most days of the week, etc.) might help you disconnect eating from your emotional triggers.

Then you can rededicate yourself to a weight loss plan when you have more emotional energy to support your efforts - like during breaks, or if you have a semester with a lighter course load. And if you're prone to binging it's probably a good idea to only pursue a moderate calorie reduction - stay away from fasts, and agressive quick fix plans with very low calories. Being that hungry is not going to do you any favors and may make you less able to control your impulse to binge, which will likely just sabotage you in the long term.

I definitely encourage you to seek some sort of support - a professional counselor, a close friend or family member - someone you can really talk to honestly about what you're feeling. Or look for a group if you find that more helpful.

Also, work on stress management skills. Different techniques work for different people - some people like yoga, or breathing exercises, or art, or headbanging to loud music. Find something that allows you to take time out and reassess what's going on around you, and helps you feel less overwhelmed.

Last but definitely not least - love yourself, and forgive yourself. It's not hopeless. You are not a bad person. You have not done yourself irreparable damage. You *can* eat healthfully, and attain a healthy body composition. It's okay to make mistakes - in fact, it's inevitable. You don't have to be perfect to meet your goals, you just have to keep trying. And keep trying new things - it's a learning process. No one knows everything. It's not going to be easy right out of the gate, but if you keep moving forward you will eventually get there.

Best of luck!

GertrudeHorse

Wow um, what impels you to eat so much?
I'd really think about what you want in life, I'm a week into a vegetarian lifestyle and though it's hard, the most I intake a day is 1200-1300 calories. My recommended is 1900. Low carbs, low everything. It's hard but think about what you want in life ~ I wanna be healthy and fit, I wanna be able to do things without my knees hurting.

Wow um, what compels you to be such a ignorant douche? I'd really think about what you want in life. I'm about thirty years into my "not be an outright douchenozzle to other people" lifestyle, and though it's hard mostly I manage not to be an awful person. My recommendation is you should try harder to live your life without hurting others. Go back to just hurting your knees. That was a simpler time.

Good God! You have way too much time on your hands. Get busy with friends and family and why are those things at your reach in the first place?

Good God! You have way too much judgement for just one person. Get busy with not being awful. Who taught you to be mean in the first place?

That is a lot of food. I'm impressed. How can you afford it?! My housekeeping would be horrendous if I ate that much.

Now I'm just tired of being snarky. Now I just have the bleakest expectations for the human race. No wonder people struggle in silence with mental illness. No wonder people don't know how to treat themselves kindly. No wonder people never ask for help. The reactions of a few nasty and despicable people more than counteract any helpful and supportive comments received.

OP - *offers some hugs if you would like them*. Go well with your recovery

rachel4304

The comments on this post make me weep for humanity. :noway:

OP: I dont have any advice. I just wanted to offer some support. Dust it off and start over tomorrow.

Amanda_Tate28

I'm not going to do this ever again.

Then don't sweat it.

agreed. Just take a deep breath and get a big glass of water and get out your notes.

I am a college student and I know all about the test binges. Just eat normal tomorrow but only when you are hungry.
This isn't the end of the world. It will get better.

Please add me if you ever want to talk or anything.
Im in the same boat of college anxiety. :] We got this.

AliD5679

I'm in the same boat/recovering and I understand exactly how you feel right now. You've eaten because your nervous about studying or you just didn't feel like doing it or once you started you just couldn't stop. For right now: you still have to study. You'll feel like crap the next day from hardcore overeating and staying up late, but at least you'll be able to get by on your exams. Eat however you feel like eating the next day. If I binge on that many calories, I normally don't get hungry until like 3 in the afternoon and just eat normal meals from then on. Long term: Obviously, I would recommend talking to someone, but as I haven't managed to do that yet, I have a suggestion that has helped me out after some getting used to it. I have a calendar and I write everything that I'm going to do on it, cross of the days as they come, pretty normal, but I also highlight the upper corner of the day in bright yellow if I binge. Something about looking at month full of yellow or counting the longest period of days between it helps. I also track other things like overall happiness rating and workouts, but if binging is your problem, it's good to be accountable to something, even if you are the only one who knows what it means. Hope you feel better and do well on your finals!

Zdehni

WE ALL HAVE HAD OUR WORST DAYS! Its fine. Its in the past now One motivational phrase the I repeat to myself everyday is: "Look in the Mirror, That is your competition" Don't let yourself defeat yourself! Get up, stand up, and kick your own weak *kitten* to the ground and walk away like a star!

bheathfit

Looks like you are doing awesome now. Passed your test and your in control. Remember that Guilt does not serve you. Guilt makes you a slave. Do not allow it in your life again...

Look at all of the things you are learning right now. All of this will allow you to help other people in the future. I'm actually proud of you. This is a process, not a destination. One step at a time...:flowerforyou:

lambchoplewis1

Remember that Guilt does not serve you. Guilt makes you a slave. Do not allow it in your life again...

I love this about guilt!! In the movie Baby Boom (yes, I am showing my age) Diane Keaton says "Guilt is not a word in my vocabulary!!"

Love it!!

Cathalain

Hang in there, OP. I can relate to the school/busy thing. I'm working full-time, going to grad school part time, writing papers, doing exams, and trying to fit the gym in on top of that (as well as navigate a new marriage). If I had kids, I think I'd need a cape with an S on it! :laugh:

18k for one day is a lot, for sure, but I myself have done a LOT worse in the past! (You don't get to be 343 pounds at 5'3" by eating a salad, right?)

Don't sweat it. The beauty of this is that you can always, ALWAYS start again. It's never too late.

You need to take time out for yourself - I think that's what I'm seeing here. Think of the exercise/eating thing as taking time out to do something nice for YOU, no one else. My time at the gym now? No one DARES interrupt it - not school, not work, not my parents or my husband or anything. That's MY time. That's when I reconnect with my body and my emotions. Without it, I am a COMPLETE and total *kitten*. :flowerforyou:

Proud of you for realizing the misstep, and owning it. Just make sure that you make your SELF a priority, along with school and everything else.

You can do this.

otter090812

Wow um, what impels you to eat so much?
I'd really think about what you want in life, I'm a week into a vegetarian lifestyle and though it's hard, the most I intake a day is 1200-1300 calories. My recommended is 1900. Low carbs, low everything. It's hard but think about what you want in life ~ I wanna be healthy and fit, I wanna be able to do things without my knees hurting.

Wow um, what compels you to be such a ignorant douche? I'd really think about what you want in life. I'm about thirty years into my "not be an outright douchenozzle to other people" lifestyle, and though it's hard mostly I manage not to be an awful person. My recommendation is you should try harder to live your life without hurting others. Go back to just hurting your knees. That was a simpler time.

Good God! You have way too much time on your hands. Get busy with friends and family and why are those things at your reach in the first place?

Good God! You have way too much judgement for just one person. Get busy with not being awful. Who taught you to be mean in the first place?

That is a lot of food. I'm impressed. How can you afford it?! My housekeeping would be horrendous if I ate that much.

Now I'm just tired of being snarky. Now I just have the bleakest expectations for the human race. No wonder people struggle in silence with mental illness. No wonder people don't know how to treat themselves kindly. No wonder people never ask for help. The reactions of a few nasty and despicable people more than counteract any helpful and supportive comments received.

OP - *offers some hugs if you would like them*. Go well with your recovery

:flowerforyou:

gagatcu

I cannot recommend you to fast!
I'm in recovery for bulimia now, so I know abou those kind of binges as well. Don't fast, otherwise there is a high risk that you are getting into a vicious cycle where you'll binge again, starve again etc. ..
Listen to your body. Treat yourself in a nice manner.
I know you are angry about what happened, but it happened anyway and you cannot change it anymore. And there is no reason to punish yourself in any way for this.

Try to move on and to continue. Try not to compensate it too hard.
If you actually don't feel hungry at all, it's okay to eat something light only. But if you feel hungry (and I can confirm, that after >10000 kcal you still can feel very hungry the next day), treat yourself right. Don't fast, don't hunger.

Eat normally. Try not to focus on food too much. I know it's a welcome excuse not to focus on studying which is the real trigger for your stress. But if you tomorrow again can't focus on studying, instead of food, try to do some yoga or go out for a walk. Or even paint something. I know it seems contraproductive after you have so much to do, but you won't learn too much if you stare at your books for an hour and start your binges after that.

It's better to actively encourage yourself to do something nice (and food unrelated!) and maybe you can find the strength to start studying afterwards again.

Don't worry, you will overcome that

Completely agree with this!! Beating yourself up and starving yourself will only lead to another binge. I understand what you are going through and it is so hard to move on from a binge especially when you have been doing well and worked hard.
My favorite quote is from Ralph Waldo Emerson. It really holds true for those of us with binge/starve/purge/ED tendencies.

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

Hold on to this quote as you go through today. You are strong! You've got this!

azyzzam

You guys are so awesome, thank you for standing up for me!

So yesterday I got done about half of my studying and fell asleep. I did overall end up eating more food than I usually do and didn't workout but I purposely ate whatever I wanted to because I didn't want to binge again. I overate a little, maybe 2,000-3,000 calories total, but thats way better than 20,000 calories. I felt kind of bad, but I do think I need to fix my relationship with food before anything. I can't binge everytime I eat something with sugar or excess sodium or food that is not "clean". I need to learn moderation, as well as to put aside studying and all my other problems when eating. Eating intuitively felt good, I wish I could do it more often without it leading to bingeing though.

I'm alone at the moment and almost binged on granola, but I just ended up have a single serving of yogurt and fruit. I just kept thinking IF I start eating the granola I know for sure I will end up eating buffalo wings in the freezer, cookie mix, etc and wasting all my time on eating food instead of studying.

For anyone that did read my other post, the bingeing isn't really super recent. I've had it since the end of high school when I got comments about my weight from my family (I was maybe 120 lbs, not even fat) and became super selfconscious. I know there is more to me than just my weight or how I look, but I've become extremely critical of myself as a result of living with them. They mostly believe fat people are disgusting, they "shun" them, think they have no chance at life. If you're fat, you're "ugly". No one will hire you, you'll never get married, you're lazy, you'll die of disease, you probably are prediabetic etc. And growing up, I always thought this was soooo wrong! Its not even true (atleast in my experience) When I was first called "fat" is when my food issues started, I hid food, ate it at night, but also counted calories. I never probably ate over 3,000 calories total at that time but it escalated to maybe 4/5,000 cal, then dieting back and forth and they're just getting bigger and bigger. I went a couple months w/o bingeing and got my a super low weight of 114 (my family loved me more than ever even though my ribcage showed, its sick) and then I started bingeing again 1 time per week, then 2x per week etc...You would not believe how much I go through to eat the food though. I get shouted at when its gone, my entire family points fingers at me, hold grudges etc. When I go out and binge, its even worse though b/c I can eat way more junk (ice cream, pizza). There are none of these things at home, my family is made of health nuts. The junk that is there is "for" my underweight brother, and its "hidden". But there are days where I call in sick from being too stuffed to the point I cannot even move. I spend the entire day eating and reading.

Anyways a couple hours of studying, and plan to work out after exam! And will respond to you guys, thanks for all the support

Jade0529

OP move out and far away from your family as soon as you can. They have a seriously distorted view regarding food and health. My mother has that view of "I will love you if you are thin" mentality and it is so wrong and hurtful. I really feel for you. Get away and life you life for you! Work on learning to love yourself, get that team of support professionals and good friends to be your support network. Family in theory SHOULD be your support network, but alas it doesn't always happen. So you make your own family of all the people who appreciate and love you for who you are right now as you are!

You are an amazing person and perfect just the way you are. If they don't appreciate that, then it is their loss. Their messed up thinking.

I am 39 and I am struggling to get rid of my own "good food" "bad food" thinking. It's all just food. Some is more nutritious that others but it's also okay to eat some of the not so nutritious in moderation, fit it into your calories and enjoy life. It's a struggle for me, as I know it is a struggle for you.

I am telling you my story not to make this a "me me me " moment but to illustrate for you not to waste years beating yourself up and hating yourself and your food choices.

msf74

Wow, that's a pretty toxic home environment you have there. It's ironic that you say your family are "health" nuts when there is relatively little that sounds healthy about their thinking.

Geneen Roth says that for every diet there is an opposing binge and there is a lot of truth in that statement. You have a situation where you have a ruthlessly enforced diet - binge - shame - despair - diet - binge - shame - despair cycle going on. You're not abnormal, in fact you are exhibiting a normal human reaction to your environment.

If you have a little time look up Ancel Keys Minnesota Semi Starvation experiment and see what happens to mentally well adjusted, healthy men when you impose severe restrictions on their eating and how quickly that happens. You have been dealing with something similar from high school!