Tell me your secret...

hmoser370

Ok Ladies, I need help! How do you juggle work, family, household chores and getting in your exercise daily? My day starts at 5:10 am, I get up get myself ready (shower and all that jazz) then I head down to get my husbands lunch together, get my lunch together get our coffee and it's back upstairs to get my munchkin ready for the sitter ( she goes to a family members for the day) This takes me until about 7-715 every morning, we leave the house around 730 ( if the weather isn't great we leave a little earlier to give myself time to get her to the sitter) I work from 8-5 M-F by the time I pick her up and get home we are going on Six O'clock, I get home get dinner ready, spend some time with my daughter and then it's time to eat. We eat later because my husband's work schedule is horrible an he usually doesn't get home until 7-730. Then it's time to clean up everything from dinner dishes, putting away leftovers and then bath time for my daughter and trying to pick up the house and get some laundry done I usually don't stop until 8:30-9 at night.

My daughter isn't one to let mommy get a workout in and just hang out and watch ( she's 19 months old) and by the time my husband gets home from work eats and it showered he's ready to sit down and just relax. I'm at a loss for when to get my workouts in! Do I suck it up and wake up earlier 4:30 am or do I do them at night once everyone is asleep 10pm. Granted once the weather finally breaks here ( Pittsburgh) which I hope is soon I CAN'T take this white stuff anymore, I will be spending more time outdoors with my daughter so I can fit some in there. Am I making excuses? I don't know I'm at a loss. I know plenty of other mothers have more children work longer house and they still manage to do it, PLEASE share you secrets!!

thelowcarblady

Sounds to me like your husband should help a little more in either the afternoon or the morning so you can get in some work out time without the kiddo around!

It may be easier at night -- but why can't he give your daughter a bath? Something like that -- so you can take a good at least 25-30 min chunk out of that time to do some exercise?

Or if you cooked -- he could clean the dishes and put away the leftovers?

I definitely think having him help with some things would free up some time for you to do what you want!

OR you could try to have lunches and whatnot done the night before, and that way in the morning when you wake up you can workout, then shower, then leave for work like normal...

just throwing some suggestions out there!

beanrider

I second phoenix's suggestion of putting lunches together the night before. Perhaps while you are fixing dinner or cleaning up you could fit that in and free up some time in the morning before everyone else gets up? I don't know what type of work you do, but I slip out of my cubicle for a 10 minute walk twice a day. I walk around the building and up and down stairs, that is 20 minutes of activity each day. I am in the same boat as you weather wise (central IN), but when the weather is fair, I go for a walk on my lunch time. We get 45 minutes for lunch, so I can eat my lunch and still take about a 15-20 minute walk. It may not be the intense focused workout you would like, but moving is moving and it helps. Best of luck!

lauly101

I would agree also with previous posters in that you should perhaps ask your husband for more support/contribution to the housework side of things. You both obviously work outside of the home so it would be more fair on you for him to say wash the dishes or bath your daughter. In a completely unfeminist way of looking at things, and I don't mean this coarsely, but he has a lot to gain from your being more healthy/losing weight. Not only a wife who loves herself and looks and feels better but also someone who is not at so much of a risk of burning out in a few years' time. Hip Hop Abs has some work outs which are only like 25 mins long so if he bathed and put your daughter to bed that would be a similar time frame. I know he's is ready for a rest after coming in from work but so to also are you - you get up earlier than he, make his meals and still manage to work a full day whilst being a mummy too. I don't want to sound as if I'm making your husband into a monster (I understand traditional male-female roles as was brought up in that way and I actually like playing the role of house wife at points too to be honest) because I'm not but I think it will be helpful for you to have a word with him. If this is not something you are happy about (or you like your roles at present or if you know he wouldn't be up for bathing or any of that jazz) I would suggest to cook a long meal (if that makes sense) and then use the time it's in the cooker to do a quickie workout. I think home workouts are going to be your secret to sucess! Good luck!

allikat399

I've started cooking all my lunches for the week on Sunday afternoons after our weekly grocery store run. Or when putting away leftovers, I automatically separate the leftovers into single serve containers so I can just grab tomorrow's meals, stuff them in a lunchkit and head out the door. It gives me a little wiggle room to fit in some exercise in the mornings.

Also, you could maybe fit in some walking on your lunch hour? Walking is not as effective as running as far as burning calories in a given time but any exercise is better than no exercise and you wont sweat in your work clothes. There are also some exercises you can do at your desk during the day. You look a little silly but you're getting something in...

I agree about maybe trying to coax your hubby into helping a little bit more but in the event that doesn't work, maybe the above can help a bit?

allikat399

http://www.aturtleslifeforme.com/2011/06/freezer-meals-on-cheap.html

This blog post has a lot of meal prep suggestions for prepping ahead of time and freezing pre-made meals to save time during the week.

DoctahJenn

If your daughter is 19 months, that's a year and a half - you can make some of your "together" time chores like putting away her toys, folding laundry... kids LOVE to "help" around the house. Sure, she may not actually be helping, but you can sing songs or play silly games together while you work, which frees up a little time later. 30 Day Shred and such takes less than 30 minutes - if you can free up just that much time by making chores part of your time with your daughter, you're golden!

(All that aside, I totally agree your husband should be doing the laundry or something to help, and make his own darn lunch for the next day. My husband works 9-7 every day in a high-stress job and still does his own laundry and makes his own lunch.)

Lastchancelj

Even though my kids are grown and gone, I do work full time as does hubby. And it seems I am busier than before. We all have the same amount of time in a day and it's up to us to manage it to our benefit.

One thing that has worked for us and I believe another person had posted similar - but I prepare most of our meals on Sunday afternoon. If the baby is a year and a half and will still take naps, that could be a perfect time to get the food prep/cooking done. I shop on Friday nights or early Saturday so I have everything I need. I will grill/cook 6-8 chicken breasts or pork. Cut up into bite size pieces and use for our lunch meals (salads and pasta combos). I chop and grill our roasted veggies for the week on Sunday as well as prepare a pot of quinoa, beans, pasta and/or rice (all are refrigerator friendly and quick to reheat). These are the most time consuming items. I portion out lunches so they are grab and go each day (so be sure to buy enough containers or use old product containers).

Another option is to look into preparing frozen meals. There are a lot of options out there. Even for the two of us, I will often make larger batches to freeze for those days when you just don't have the time.

Slow cookers - have everything prepared to dump and go in the morning (use the liners or spray inside very well).

If you like fish as your protein, having your veggies and grains already cooked helps tremendously. Frozen tilapia only takes 10 mins to grill or bake and salmon not much longer. I don't get home until late on workout days, so it's wonderful to only have to heat something up quickly...reduces "grazing".

With regard to exercise - Are you able to workout on your lunch hour at work? Can your sitter keep the baby 30 more minutes? Is there a gym where they have daycare?

It wasn't easy when mine were little either, but they did get used to mommy's exercise time. I incorporated the baby with my "step" videos way back in the day. Is hubby able to help with the little one more? Maybe pick her up a couple of nights a week so you can have your exercise time? Hubby could possibly help with the clean up of the kitchen while you take care of the baby or vice versa. You are a team and you will need his support to succeed, but there are some very good options being presented. I hope something works for you. Good luck!

hmoser370

Thanks everyone! I truly didn't want to make my husband sound the way I did I guess! He has a highly physical job (UPS Driver) and his "excuse" is he's exhausted when he get's home. Oh how I wish he could pick her up a couple nights a week that would be absolutely wonderful but wit his schedule changing everyday it's just not possible!! I do like the idea of having him give her a bath after he gets his shower and that would free up at least a half hour for me!! I guess I've just spoiled him doing everything for him, he will not do dishes or laundry unless I go on strike, which I have done from time to time! LOL

The slow cooker is definitely going to be my best friend once the weather gets warm enough for me to take my daughter out for walks after work!!

uncharted01

could your sitter watch your daughter for an extra hour or so a couple times a week so you can get a workout in? or when it gets warmer, take her for walks with you? it's definitely a challenge to find time for yourself, but you are important and worth it! :flowerforyou:

jeneferphillips89

It really is a balancing game and finding out what works best for you. I start my day at 5Am for school and end my workday at 9:30pm. I workout after work because that is what works for me. If working out earlier in the morning is best for your body and schedule then I would say yeah, suck it up and make it an early morning. If nights are better then do your workout then. I also agree with the meal planning and preparing the night before. I actually pick a day on the weekend and fix my weeks meals then. Good luck and hope this helped a little :-)

Lizzy622

I sang "Head, shoulders, knees and toes" with my kids while doing the movements. Find some games and activities you can do with your daughter like putting her in a laundry basket and pushing her around on the floor. A workout can also be silly dancing in the living room to a Sesame Street tape. I also try to plan my meals so I do my shopping and much of my prep on the weekend (maybe hubby can help with daughter). This makes a world of difference and frees up a ton of time during the week.

laurelthistle

I agree with others - get your hubby to help out with your daughter's bath or take care of the cleanup and dishes after dinner. Then you could have 20-30 minutes to yourself to exercise. Also, you could take the time that you spend with your daughter before dinner and do workouts that incorporate her - turn on music and dance like maniacs, use her as a weight and work out your arms and legs, do bear crawls together (crawl around on your hands and feet).

Something we do is make one big meal each Sunday that we can eat for dinner as leftovers during most of the week. It saves a ton of time during the week and it saves a lot of money too. It also makes planning/logging your meals for the week easier.

eAddict

Sounds to me like your husband should help a little more in either the afternoon or the morning so you can get in some work out time without the kiddo around!

THIS

It may be easier at night -- but why can't he give your daughter a bath? Something like that -- so you can take a good at least 25-30 min chunk out of that time to do some exercise?

We used to argue over how who take care of the kids. Bath time was always a hoot and whoever needed the stress reliever for the day got to do it.

Or if you cooked -- he could clean the dishes and put away the leftovers?

We do that now - great way to share duties and allow each other some down time.

I definitely think having him help with some things would free up some time for you to do what you want!

THIS!

Weight loss, diet, whatever, esp with a family IS a family event. I don't know how one person could do it and not include or be supported by the others.

Kita328

I am a big fan of the HELP idea. I know that that can almost cause more stress if your partner doesnt manage to be as helpful as you need. It is worth a try asking or making a list of things he should help you with like bath for the small one...or packing his own lunch and maybe yours too...that would be nice.

If not then plan ahead. I make all my food prep on the weekend when I get home from the grocery store I have prepackaged veggies and fruits for the entire week i know what my lunch will be each day either left overs or pre planned presorted meals. It saves so much time. a few min's before bed i throw it all in the lunch bag and am ready for the AM. That could help if you do want to get up earlier for a workout...

If you want to workout after work I would suggest investing in a gym that has some kind of daycare service so you can go a few times a week and have help taking care of the little one.

Its tough to change everyones routine and not feel a little overwhelmed...before you know it it will be the new routine.

JustSomeEm

Incorporate your daughter into your exercise. Dance with her. Pick her up and toss her around. Do pushups with her. Race with her. Make it fun for her, and it will be fun for you AND you'll be moving and exercising. Bonus - togetherness and calorie burning!

Side note: Get yourself a small trampoline/rebounder and put it in your family room. I get up at 4:30 every morning and start a day very much like yours, except my kids are older and my hubby helps a little more. We are all busy. But at the end of the day, if we have time to sit down and watch TV, I bounce on the trampoline/run/twist/whatever - just to move. If I can't make it to the gym, I'm at least moving thanks to the trampoline - AND I get to move while my mind is elsewhere. LOL!. And my kids love to use the trampoline too.

JG762

HA.... Sleep is a crutch!

JTick

Sounds like hubby needs to help a bit more. If he wants to sit down and relax, then make that daddy daughter time for 30 mins. Have them read a book, color, etc, something he can do sitting down that's not going to involve chasing her everywhere.

Also, when I was growing up both my parents worked, and my dad has a pretty physical job. The rule in our house has always been whoever cooks it, the rest clean it up. If my mom cooks, my dad cleaned the dished up. If he got home early and cooked, she cleaned it up. Now that I'm an adult but still live at home, I pull that trick out of my bag sometimes too. If I cook, they clean it up! :laugh:

Kita328

Oh and I forgot I have a friend that goes to the gym on weekends EARLY- so her husband can be at home with kiddo's so she could have a killer work out at least 2 days a week before anyone even notices shes gone

jahurd77

If this were me, and it was once...I sat down with my husband and told him my personal goals for well being and how important it is to me. We then worked it out together how I could accomplish my goals and he his. Supporting each other and being open about what we each want for ourselves and our family keeps us connected. I joined the local Y because they offer up to 2 hours free child care and they also have late & early classes. I had to get over feeling guilty taking the kids to the Y at 6:30 at night or leaving them with him so I could get to a 7:00pm pilates class. And he had to get used to the "MYO" nights (make your own) that I incorporated into our weekly meals twice a week. This allows me to make a great big salad full of my favorites and not worry about him, and he can make his meat and potatoes and not worry about me. If you can manage 2 workouts during the week and then shoot for 2 more on the weekend, you would be working out on a very consistent basis. I'm not going to lie, there are nights when it is -20 out and the last thing I want to do is go to the gym to work out, but I motivate myself and go knowing that the workout helps not just my body, but my mind- I always feel better! And if earlier is better for you, it's only 2 days during the week that you would be getting up before the sun (start small). You might find that you really love the peace and calm that time of the day provides and increase your workouts during the work week. Good luck- you will find a way!

jkirby02

Hello,
I need some secrets too - but one thing I'm learning is that you have to do what you enjoy doing. Your daughter is beautiful on your banner... so cute! When my kids were young, I used to put on the Wiggles and dance to all of the songs with them - I would sweat! My kids still do not like me going in my room to do a 30 minute exercise video, but they need to understand mommy needs mommy time. It's also in the mindset too. You have to think about and experiment what works for you! I understand the busy-ness - my day also begins at 5:00 - I work from 7:30-3:45 but then after work it's 5th and 2nd grade homework, lunches for the next day, dinner, dishes, laundry, showers, etc. It is very hectic, but if whatever we want, we will do what it takes. I thought this was great you asked for some secrets, I'm going to read up on some answers. Great post!!

_AwesomeSauce_

Fantastic! Are there more wonderful women like you in your State that are available? Actually, I'm only kidding. I'm happily married, but my sarcasm is intended to imply that your hubby might be able to pick up some of your tasks. In my case, I settled for doing all the laundry. Come to think of it, it was after I had a few drinks when I agreed to that. :-)

good luck!

ChaseAlder

I work 240 hours a month (that's just my scheduled time and doesn't include overtime), I'm going to school full time (online), I have two kids, two dogs, three cats, and the usual household requirements. My husband and I have equal parts in the household/children thing, though I'll be damned if I've ever seen him clean a bathroom :P

My secret is that I'm a "doer" and can't stand procrastination, so I'm almost always on top of homework and housework. It's just my nature, I'm a machine. My husband says it's exhausting watching me because I'm ALWAYS working. Working, working, working. Right now, I'm actually getting anxious because I've been sitting at this computer for way longer than I need to be. Everyone is always fed, house is always clean, getting A's in all my classes, plenty of time for a glass of wine and a bath at the end of the day. I work hard all day so I can take a couple hours off at night.

I know that's probably not what you wanted to hear, but that's the way I do it. Work, work, work.

smg219

I feel the same.....my baby is 4 months old and some days she wakes me up at 4am! Both my husband and I work full time and while my job is a office job where I am at a desk all day my husband is a construction worker and so he is usually exhausted by the end of the day which I totally understand. I am dealing with winter now and cannot wait until it is nice enough that I can take my baby outside for a walk....she literally has been cooped up inside ever since she was born in October!! Good luck to you!!

feltlikesound

I didn't read all of the thread so this may be repetitive, but we do meal pre-cooking and pre-planning on the weekends including making lunches and suppers to freeze, and generally planning the food aspect of our week. This cuts down hugely on time, and I noticed you are dedicating time to food both morning and evening. We also tackle ALL of the chores on the weekend, and plan out what will need to be done as a "supplement" throughout the week (i.e. we do lots of laundry on the weekend, but one load will need to be done on Wednesday evening, etc). Pre-planning is the only reason I have my sanity.Yes, life is busy but once you find a rhythm you can thrive on it!

I workout IMMEDIATELY at the gym after work, I do not even go home first -- this works for me because I don't sit down, I don't get distracted with tasks at home, etc. I get there, get it done, and get home. Intervals have been a godsend because I can efficiently get my calorie burn up. Obviously this isn't an option for everyone, but it may be feasible that with commuting traffic/etc. it wouldn't actually lose you much time to have a quick workout near your workplace, pick up babykins, and be home around the same 6pm. There are lots of variables in there, I know, but may be worth considering.

Holly_Roman_Empire

My husband gives me 30 minutes 3 days a week to work out. I've seen some nice results from that, and he doesn't mind doing it. It shouldn't be asking to much from your husband to expect the same.

Have you even asked him to watch the kid while you work out? I only ask because my husband would readily give me more time if I wanted it, but I feel like I take advantage of him if I do.

kits1976

I make and freeze lunches and keep them in the freezer at work so I just have to pop them into the microwave. I also keep a few tins of tuna, a jar of light mayo and some rye crackers in my desk drawer so that I have a variety to choose from for lunches.

As far as getting exercise goes, are you able to share the load of dropping baby off with your husband?

I have 3 kids - one is 16 and the twins are 6. On Tuesday and Thursday mornings, I get up at around 5:45 and get the kids up and dressed and eating breakfast. Then I take the 16 yr old to the bus and go onto gym, where I workout and shower and get dressed for work. My dad lives with me and he helps out with my twins in brushing their teeth and taking them to school on those days.

He also watches them on Saturday mornings and Sunday afternoons so that my other son and I can go to gym.

You should try and see if you can come to some sort of compromise/duty sharing with your husband

Good luck =^..^=

chelsea801

My husband gives me 30 minutes 3 days a week to work out. I've seen some nice results from that, and he doesn't mind doing it. It shouldn't be asking to much from your husband to expect the same.

Have you even asked him to watch the kid while you work out? I only ask because my husband would readily give me more time if I wanted it, but I feel like I take advantage of him if I do.

Wow, are you serious? He "gives" you a whole 90 minutes a week, huh?

Me and my husband both work out of the home (me part-time). Intuitively, we also take care of our 3 young children TOGETHER. I probably do a bit more around the house but only because some things bother me more and because I'm home 2 days more than him.

I don't understand some of these comments. Having a family is a partnership. If you are the breadwinner of the family that doesn't mean your duties are exclusively to foot the bill. Are the woman taking on everything by choice or are the men expecting everything to be done?

seasonsanna

One day a week, usually Sundays, I cook. I pull out a loaf of bread, make as many sandwiches as I can make from the loaf, wrap em up, throw them back in the bread bag and into the freezer for easy lunch packing for the week. Same thing with breakfast burritos or egg and sausage busicuts. Then I make spaghetti sauce and meatballs, soup, a casserole, maybe a pizza or enchiladas. Whatever sounds good. Huge time saver. Huge!

HBombaMama

Thank you for posting this. I feel like I am taking on family responsibilities from 5am-11pm some days and wonder how other mothers actually do it. This was really helpful to read through. I think the take home message is meal prep and a good working PARTNERSHIP with your partner. For some odd reason I am a strong minded, confident woman in all aspects of life but when it comes to "women's" work I fall so miserably short of sticking up for myself. I wish you all the best of luck with this because hearing your concerns and others observations justify my own inner knowledge that I just need to stick up for myself at home more often too.

When I read your first post asking how can you find more time, my initial answer was: You can't! There are only 24 hours in each day and you have to sleep for a minimum of 6 of them. When everything else is already being allocated you don't have 30 minutes to do a damn thing except collapse. Then again, as many pointed out, it may not be a matter of you finding that 25th hour in the day, but of you reclaiming 30-60 minutes throughout the day. Also, in our position of feeling overwhelmed by the daily expectations and being under-supported by our hubbies (who we still love!) it might get our exercise commitment and our partner's willing help to start small. Maybe think of it as a success if you two can coordinate efforts for 3 days a week of Mom/Gym time. That would still be a physical fitness accomplishment for a lot of adults, myself included.

Sorry for the long winded "I hear ya!" but this was really what I needed to hear. The only real advice I can offer is I found some free apps for my kindle: 10 minute workouts for arms, abs, butt, legs, and cardio. If I go to bed at 11:30pm or midnight it doesn't make much difference. 10 minutes is almost so quick there is NO excuse and can be fit in if the kids scream all day and the husband does nothing. Anything you ignore for 10 minutes (dishes, etc.) will not matter and the best thing: THESE APPS REALLY WORK!!! I am shocked to say that I am actually sore the next day from these every time I do them. These help me stay motivated because I can do them consistently which is an accomplishment, and because when I feel them the next day I don't think it was a waste of my time. Maybe you could find some short interval freebie workouts to try at home. I play with the kids too but it just doesn't feel as satisfying as some intentionally dedicated me time.

GOOD LUCK! You could friend me if you want. I would love to know how you progress with this hurdle.

SLE0803

www.flylady.net has helped me get my life more organized and balanced (no i dont work there).

Also, I just except the fact that nothing will be perfect. i may have to let things slide sometimes. Somethings I give my 110% to, others I give 70% bc it is 'good enough'. Once I realized that not everything needs to be perfect my life seemed to be less chaotic.