Tell me your secret...

_AwesomeSauce_

Fantastic! Are there more wonderful women like you in your State that are available? Actually, I'm only kidding. I'm happily married, but my sarcasm is intended to imply that your hubby might be able to pick up some of your tasks. In my case, I settled for doing all the laundry. Come to think of it, it was after I had a few drinks when I agreed to that. :-)

good luck!

ChaseAlder

I work 240 hours a month (that's just my scheduled time and doesn't include overtime), I'm going to school full time (online), I have two kids, two dogs, three cats, and the usual household requirements. My husband and I have equal parts in the household/children thing, though I'll be damned if I've ever seen him clean a bathroom :P

My secret is that I'm a "doer" and can't stand procrastination, so I'm almost always on top of homework and housework. It's just my nature, I'm a machine. My husband says it's exhausting watching me because I'm ALWAYS working. Working, working, working. Right now, I'm actually getting anxious because I've been sitting at this computer for way longer than I need to be. Everyone is always fed, house is always clean, getting A's in all my classes, plenty of time for a glass of wine and a bath at the end of the day. I work hard all day so I can take a couple hours off at night.

I know that's probably not what you wanted to hear, but that's the way I do it. Work, work, work.

smg219

I feel the same.....my baby is 4 months old and some days she wakes me up at 4am! Both my husband and I work full time and while my job is a office job where I am at a desk all day my husband is a construction worker and so he is usually exhausted by the end of the day which I totally understand. I am dealing with winter now and cannot wait until it is nice enough that I can take my baby outside for a walk....she literally has been cooped up inside ever since she was born in October!! Good luck to you!!

feltlikesound

I didn't read all of the thread so this may be repetitive, but we do meal pre-cooking and pre-planning on the weekends including making lunches and suppers to freeze, and generally planning the food aspect of our week. This cuts down hugely on time, and I noticed you are dedicating time to food both morning and evening. We also tackle ALL of the chores on the weekend, and plan out what will need to be done as a "supplement" throughout the week (i.e. we do lots of laundry on the weekend, but one load will need to be done on Wednesday evening, etc). Pre-planning is the only reason I have my sanity.Yes, life is busy but once you find a rhythm you can thrive on it!

I workout IMMEDIATELY at the gym after work, I do not even go home first -- this works for me because I don't sit down, I don't get distracted with tasks at home, etc. I get there, get it done, and get home. Intervals have been a godsend because I can efficiently get my calorie burn up. Obviously this isn't an option for everyone, but it may be feasible that with commuting traffic/etc. it wouldn't actually lose you much time to have a quick workout near your workplace, pick up babykins, and be home around the same 6pm. There are lots of variables in there, I know, but may be worth considering.

Holly_Roman_Empire

My husband gives me 30 minutes 3 days a week to work out. I've seen some nice results from that, and he doesn't mind doing it. It shouldn't be asking to much from your husband to expect the same.

Have you even asked him to watch the kid while you work out? I only ask because my husband would readily give me more time if I wanted it, but I feel like I take advantage of him if I do.

kits1976

I make and freeze lunches and keep them in the freezer at work so I just have to pop them into the microwave. I also keep a few tins of tuna, a jar of light mayo and some rye crackers in my desk drawer so that I have a variety to choose from for lunches.

As far as getting exercise goes, are you able to share the load of dropping baby off with your husband?

I have 3 kids - one is 16 and the twins are 6. On Tuesday and Thursday mornings, I get up at around 5:45 and get the kids up and dressed and eating breakfast. Then I take the 16 yr old to the bus and go onto gym, where I workout and shower and get dressed for work. My dad lives with me and he helps out with my twins in brushing their teeth and taking them to school on those days.

He also watches them on Saturday mornings and Sunday afternoons so that my other son and I can go to gym.

You should try and see if you can come to some sort of compromise/duty sharing with your husband

Good luck =^..^=

chelsea801

My husband gives me 30 minutes 3 days a week to work out. I've seen some nice results from that, and he doesn't mind doing it. It shouldn't be asking to much from your husband to expect the same.

Have you even asked him to watch the kid while you work out? I only ask because my husband would readily give me more time if I wanted it, but I feel like I take advantage of him if I do.

Wow, are you serious? He "gives" you a whole 90 minutes a week, huh?

Me and my husband both work out of the home (me part-time). Intuitively, we also take care of our 3 young children TOGETHER. I probably do a bit more around the house but only because some things bother me more and because I'm home 2 days more than him.

I don't understand some of these comments. Having a family is a partnership. If you are the breadwinner of the family that doesn't mean your duties are exclusively to foot the bill. Are the woman taking on everything by choice or are the men expecting everything to be done?

seasonsanna

One day a week, usually Sundays, I cook. I pull out a loaf of bread, make as many sandwiches as I can make from the loaf, wrap em up, throw them back in the bread bag and into the freezer for easy lunch packing for the week. Same thing with breakfast burritos or egg and sausage busicuts. Then I make spaghetti sauce and meatballs, soup, a casserole, maybe a pizza or enchiladas. Whatever sounds good. Huge time saver. Huge!

HBombaMama

Thank you for posting this. I feel like I am taking on family responsibilities from 5am-11pm some days and wonder how other mothers actually do it. This was really helpful to read through. I think the take home message is meal prep and a good working PARTNERSHIP with your partner. For some odd reason I am a strong minded, confident woman in all aspects of life but when it comes to "women's" work I fall so miserably short of sticking up for myself. I wish you all the best of luck with this because hearing your concerns and others observations justify my own inner knowledge that I just need to stick up for myself at home more often too.

When I read your first post asking how can you find more time, my initial answer was: You can't! There are only 24 hours in each day and you have to sleep for a minimum of 6 of them. When everything else is already being allocated you don't have 30 minutes to do a damn thing except collapse. Then again, as many pointed out, it may not be a matter of you finding that 25th hour in the day, but of you reclaiming 30-60 minutes throughout the day. Also, in our position of feeling overwhelmed by the daily expectations and being under-supported by our hubbies (who we still love!) it might get our exercise commitment and our partner's willing help to start small. Maybe think of it as a success if you two can coordinate efforts for 3 days a week of Mom/Gym time. That would still be a physical fitness accomplishment for a lot of adults, myself included.

Sorry for the long winded "I hear ya!" but this was really what I needed to hear. The only real advice I can offer is I found some free apps for my kindle: 10 minute workouts for arms, abs, butt, legs, and cardio. If I go to bed at 11:30pm or midnight it doesn't make much difference. 10 minutes is almost so quick there is NO excuse and can be fit in if the kids scream all day and the husband does nothing. Anything you ignore for 10 minutes (dishes, etc.) will not matter and the best thing: THESE APPS REALLY WORK!!! I am shocked to say that I am actually sore the next day from these every time I do them. These help me stay motivated because I can do them consistently which is an accomplishment, and because when I feel them the next day I don't think it was a waste of my time. Maybe you could find some short interval freebie workouts to try at home. I play with the kids too but it just doesn't feel as satisfying as some intentionally dedicated me time.

GOOD LUCK! You could friend me if you want. I would love to know how you progress with this hurdle.

SLE0803

www.flylady.net has helped me get my life more organized and balanced (no i dont work there).

Also, I just except the fact that nothing will be perfect. i may have to let things slide sometimes. Somethings I give my 110% to, others I give 70% bc it is 'good enough'. Once I realized that not everything needs to be perfect my life seemed to be less chaotic.

Holly_Roman_Empire

My husband gives me 30 minutes 3 days a week to work out. I've seen some nice results from that, and he doesn't mind doing it. It shouldn't be asking to much from your husband to expect the same.

Have you even asked him to watch the kid while you work out? I only ask because my husband would readily give me more time if I wanted it, but I feel like I take advantage of him if I do.

Wow, are you serious? He "gives" you a whole 90 minutes a week, huh?

Me and my husband both work out of the home (me part-time). Intuitively, we also take care of our 3 young children TOGETHER. I probably do a bit more around the house but only because some things bother me more and because I'm home 2 days more than him.

I don't understand some of these comments. Having a family is a partnership. If you are the breadwinner of the family that doesn't mean your duties are exclusively to foot the bill. Are the woman taking on everything by choice or are the men expecting everything to be done?

Selective reading much? I said he would readily give me more time if I asked for it, but I do just fine with my strength training just 90 minutes a week. Working out more would mean that I sacrifice more family time, and that is something I am not willing to do. And yes, I take on most of the duties by choice. He doesn't do chores the way I like them to be done usually, so I just do it myself. :laugh:

jtarmom

Same situation as you (except with 3 kids). Lunch hour has become my friend when I can. Also, due to an earlier dinner time, I usually have everything done and kids in bed by 9. Then it's not a problem to work out.

((hugs)) Good luck! It's not easy, but will get easier as time goes on!

ChaplainHeavin

I think husbands/dads need to help out as well. My wife works really long hours and has to grade tests at home. So I basically do 90% of the house cleaning or it just couldn't get done. On the flip side, she's the "fix it upper" in our household.

ripzone13

Here is what I do...I am a single mom with a full time career. SO- I workout 5 days a week on my lunch breaks (i get 1hr break). It's fast and furious and I have to come back to work sweaty (yuck I know), but to me it's worth it. I hurry to the gym, quickly change, run/walk/elliptical/ or stairstepper for half hour, and then quick change back into work clothes and fly back to work. People just have to deal with me looking like a hot mess in the afternoon. I do have an awesome boyfriend who watches my daughter for me on the weekends so I can go to the gym too. He usually hangs out at the house during nap time and I go to the gym Sat and sometimes Sunday for an hour or so. I know that by 8:30/9 I feel like falling on my face from going going going all day...so I know that I have to get my workout in during the day.Good lucky lady! It is a tough balance, but if you want it bad enough you figure out a way to make it happen

CJisinShape

Your husband does a very exhausting job. And that is all I have to say about the previous suggestions.

wonderwoman234

People will treat you the way you allow them to.....meaning that if you allow your husband to do nothing other than live like he's single with no family, that's what he'll do. No, wait.....he's not even living like he's single because if he were, he'd be getting his own meals, cleaning his own apartment, and handling his business. He is living like a child.

I find it depressing reading how so many married women are happy to take on all of the child rearing, house cleaning, cooking, etc. while working full time. You are living like a single mother unnecessarily. This isn't the 1950's when most women stayed at home. Your husband is surely capable, even with a delivery job, to take on some things as a member of the family. He's not the only one working hard. You are, too.

Your husband is not incentivized to help out. That's partially on you for treating him like another child. I strongly believe that marriage should be an equal partnership and studies show that those are the strongest marriages. And I can tell you that your husband will not love you more for taking on everything....in fact, he may respect you less. Just a thought....

kellymac518

maybe find out if you can leave your kid at your relatives house for an extra bit of time and get a workout in between work and picking her up?