Putting a child on MFP

Jacwhite22

As far as foods go, we monitor what they eat at home... but I have a problem with my in-laws and snacks. Pretty much, anything goes. We actually had to journal all my eldests foods for a month trying to see if she had a food allergy. The doc saw the "crap" journal entries and asked who allowed it. My mother in law was pretty sheepish. She told me after she was not taking the kids to the doctor again. They know it is bad and they are playing the grand parent card. However, my father-in-law also plays the "why do you need to watch what you eat" card whenever we go to their house or we talk to them on the phone. He is actively trying to derail our diets. Not really sure why. I also found out schools will allow kids to go back for seconds or thirds if they ask. I found out because a month worth of lunch money on the school account was gone in about 2 weeks. They can also buy snacks off the accounts (which is not regulated by the schools food mandate and can have all sorts of crap in it). I tried to put a stop to it but "it is not the schools job" to monitor that. So I told my kids they get one month of money and that is all they get. If they expend it early, sack lunches for the rest of the year.

I am not shirking responsibility for them. I was complacent about being fat, dumb and happy... and that extended to my kids. I am almost two months into the new me and I am not going back. I am not going to see my children be the "fat kids" at school either. My eldest is seeing how mean other kids can be, and being fat is just an easy target. My youngest is still pretty innocent of these matters but I know she sees how kids can be on the playground... even if she is not the target. Both of my kids also see the physical changes in me and my wife (she is on MFP too and doing great). They see me go out for my C25K and I try to get them to come walk with me, or even take their scooters/bikes along. I get a partner about 1 request in 3.

BTW, both of my girls are pre-teens. I was never going to allow them to hit the forums and was just going to use the "diary" portion of the program. I wanted to use it as a tool with guidance. For instance, I ate a 1/2 cup of refriend beans and had zero clue they were 200 cal?!?! A 1/2 cup of Blue Bell does not have 200 cal That mistake won't happen again. They need to have these sorts of epiphanies with their food too. However, if the TOS say NO and the site is not designed for children... then it is a no. I had never heard of Sparkteens, so thanks for the many recommendations.

As far as the negative replies go, meh. I was asking for advice on your thoughts... not damage control for pulling the trigger and wonder what happened. If a lot of people have these sorts of questions, then you have to look at the why. What is more important though is they are looking for a solution. However, so many people see a question as an easy target. Someone asks for help with a thoughtful opinion get flames in reply. To the trolls, shame on you. To the thoughtful replies, I give you my thanks.

You didn't answer ANY of my questions........

spikrgrl503

My son could stand to lose some weight. He is almost 14 so I can't be in total charge of what he eats and he spends a lot if time at school. I would never put him on here to count calories. I am mentally counting some of his meals cause its coming second nature to count. I am starting to measure and weigh some of his portions to keep them the right size. He can out eat me but being I weigh 25 lbs more than him I am not sure he should. You can help your children make healthier food choices and be aware of calories without getting them counting. If your children are overweight then your most likely giving them too much food. The younger they are the easier it should be able to fix. Even though my son is bigger than what he should be I know we are doing right with our choices based on that he isn't out weighing me like I have seen some other children doing.

My husband and I eat almost the same amount (MFP calculates 2200 cals for me and 2500 cals for him). We are the same height and he's got at least 60-65 lbs on me. The difference is activity level. If your son is running around outside or plays sports he will definitely outeat you (unless you are very active as well)

deksgrl

You keep leading as the parent, serving them healthy foods. Don't keep junk in the house. Do fun active things as a family. Make their lunches for school.

Your journey into weight loss and a healthy lifestyle is new. It WILL trickle down to them. They don't need to be counting calories. They are going to be changing a lot with their growth cycles, and hormonal changes, etc. Give it time.

DamePiglet

As far as the negative replies go, meh. I was asking for advice on your thoughts... not damage control for pulling the trigger and wonder what happened. If a lot of people have these sorts of questions, then you have to look at the why. What is more important though is they are looking for a solution. However, so many people see a question as an easy target. Someone asks for help with a thoughtful opinion get flames in reply. To the trolls, shame on you. To the thoughtful replies, I give you my thanks.

I didn't see any troll replies. Seriously.

The people who said "no, it's against TOS" - why would you want your children to think that they are "above the rules" and that TOS doesn't apply to them? I hope you would not.

The people who said, "Calorie counting might be harmful to young kids" are giving you an opinion.

The people who said, "calorie counting might not be harmful, but sparkteens is a better way to go" - still helpful.

Even me, who said, "I don't want to be mindful of your kids" is being helpful.

don't want to use Sparkteens? then use excel or access programs to log it. You'll be teaching them valuable computer skills.

Derpes

McGruff thinks that putting kids on here is an awful idea.

Calliope610

You mention that your son is out eating you, even though he weighs less, as a concern. I think it's really important to remember that he is still growing--in fact a boy that age typically does the majority of growing and muscle building. So, it's healthy for him to out eat you (since i'm pretty sure you don't want to be growing!). I think it's key to make sure that kids that age are eating healthy whole foods (not too much refined carbs and junk), but don't restrict how much healthy food they eat. Understanding that you can't always control his eating, you can at least make sure that he's eating healthy whole foods at home. Just my two cents! :-)

This is EXACTLY why a site geared for growing adolescents is preferable.

LishieFruit89

You mention that your son is out eating you, even though he weighs less, as a concern. I think it's really important to remember that he is still growing--in fact a boy that age typically does the majority of growing and muscle building. So, it's healthy for him to out eat you (since i'm pretty sure you don't want to be growing!). I think it's key to make sure that kids that age are eating healthy whole foods (not too much refined carbs and junk), but don't restrict how much healthy food they eat. Understanding that you can't always control his eating, you can at least make sure that he's eating healthy whole foods at home. Just my two cents! :-)

This is EXACTLY why a site geared for growing adolescents is preferable.

That's fine and dandy for that poster's 14yo son.
But the OP has 2 daughters under the age of 10.

jshay295

I agree with the posts about having the kids prepare their own lunches (obviously the younger one will need your direct supervision and guidance).Even as adult , when I went to college I found eating healthy from the cafeteria to be both expensive and hard to do. I'm sure being younger makes it even more challenging to eat a salad while all your friends are washing down hamburgers and fries with soda.

Getting them into preparing lunches will allow you to gently guide them into healthier, more filling options, and get them into the habit of doing it themselves. Maybe as a treat once a week they can buy a cafeteria lunch?

Honestly, I can't see my mother ever justifying wasting money on cafeteria food, especially when I was so young. Fortunately my public school didn't have a cafeteria, but I know without a doubt she wouldn't have given me money to buy lunch there every single day. Save yourself the money and prepare lunches at home, thats my best advice.

I know you probably don't like hearing this from a younger person, but I would honestly sit down your interfering grandparents, and full out tell them they are interfering with their own grandchilds' -not to mention, your own- health, and ask them why they purposely continue to do so even when they see how much effort your family is putting in to becoming healthier. Sometimes blatantly asking a family member why they are exhibiting the negative behavior they are doing is enough to make them stop and think. Perhaps if they can't resist giving them fatty foods, don't allow them to visit as often around meal times. Send the kids over to their grandparents with a few Tupperware containers of relatively healthy snacks and let them know that if they're hungry, food is already provided.

Mia_RagazzaTosta

I think putting your child on a site nutritionally designed for adults, where they can be creeped on by who the f knows (perverts, proana/mias) is one of the worst parenting ideas ever.

HEY leave me outta this!

LeGaCyGiAnT124

I think putting your child on a site nutritionally designed for adults, where they can be creeped on by who the f knows (perverts, proana/mias) is one of the worst parenting ideas ever.

HEY leave me outta this!

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Cameron_1969

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Jacwhite22

How about getting them involved in some other sports......active family activities (hikes etc? What are your meals like at home? Do you have soda/juice/sugary drinks in the house? How long do they dance for and what forms? What do they do when they come home? i.e. what are they doing when they are not at school or dance?

rjmwx81

Giving them access to the forums is probably not a great idea. (Think about all those HCG diet posts in the last year...now picture a 14-year old, weight-conscious girl reading those posts. Hellooo, anorexia!)

I must confess a little annoyance at everyone saying "oh, don't get your kids involved in counting calories, they'll get an eating disorder." Kids need to be educated. I *wish* someone had introduced me to calorie counting at that age. Perhaps then I wouldn't be in the position I'm in now. It's not an all-or-nothing scenario. Teach them, guide them, and make sure they don't get obsessive about it.

firelight4321

Just remember, your kids depend on you for food. The food they eat was purchased by you. Maybe a good first step would be reevaluating your grocery list.

deksgrl

I must confess a little annoyance at everyone saying "oh, don't get your kids involved in counting calories, they'll get an eating disorder." Kids need to be educated. I *wish* someone had introduced me to calorie counting at that age. Perhaps then I wouldn't be in the position I'm in now. It's not an all-or-nothing scenario. Teach them, guide them, and make sure they don't get obsessive about it.

These children are less than the age of 10. They don't need to count calories yet. If they were 13+ then yes. Not now, they are still little kids. Can they learn about healthy eating and exercise at this age? Certainly, and they should. But they do not need to count calories at this stage.

auddii

I must confess a little annoyance at everyone saying "oh, don't get your kids involved in counting calories, they'll get an eating disorder." Kids need to be educated. I *wish* someone had introduced me to calorie counting at that age. Perhaps then I wouldn't be in the position I'm in now. It's not an all-or-nothing scenario. Teach them, guide them, and make sure they don't get obsessive about it.

These children are less than the age of 10. They don't need to count calories yet. If they were 13+ then yes. Not now, they are still little kids. Can they learn about healthy eating and exercise at this age? Certainly, and they should. But they do not need to count calories at this stage.

What do you mean a 5 year old shouldn't count calories?! Cause, you know, they can count and all... Uh, yeah.

Losing_Sarah

No. I think since you are now making positive changes in your diet you just need to show them how to eat right. Kids learn by example. You didn't say how old they are, but any changes when ever they start will make some kind of impression. You could dish up your kids plates with appropriate serving sizes if that is the issue. If they are volume eaters just make sure they get lots of low calories/high volume foods. If not, just find new recipes for the high calorie favorites and serve that up.

I may be obese (though shrinking), but my daughter who is five is not. She is very active & fit, and has been taught since she's been eating solids to make healthy choices. She chooses apples, carrots, or celery, etc. for snacks because that is what is in the house. She drinks white milk, and water (no juice in our home). She knows these things make her healthy, and that the alternatives are only "sometimes" foods that usually are only given to her outside of our home. She also eats what we eat always. No special meals of mac n cheese or nuggets or hot dogs or whatever. We also never talk about weight or being fat or skinny, etc. When I talk about my ongoing weight loss I never say weight loss, but say things like "mommy's working on making herself healthy" and similar statements when she brings it up. I also never make her finish her meals. When she says she is done she is done. My mom used to make us eat all of our food and I'd sometimes get sick from that. I have caught my mom telling my daughter to eat all of her food and have to tell her over and over again that she is not allowed to do that.

No criticisms here or anything. I don't know what you're doing in your household, or saying my way is the only way or the right way. I'm just saying what I'm doing.

Good luck and congrats on taking steps on your own health and getting your children involved, too!

Alex

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