Mum not approving of my muscles, A bit of advice..Please x

2013sk

Hi Everyone,

A bit of background information about me, I have always been slim at 5 ft 9, Pretty active and I love my food. I am quite lucky, I can sort of eat what I want and get away with it, But don't get me wrong, I do work out - So if I have had a naughty day - I go to the gym and burn it all off : ) Just like most of us do.......

Now for some time I have been lifting weights into my cardio, and for some reason I have one of them bodies that will respond and change quite quickly, For example..... if I want to lose weight, I will lose it quite quickly. If I want to get bigger, I can etc.

So from doing the weights, but body composition has changed completely. My shoulders and back has got bigger/broader. The muscles on my arms are starting to show, Just lik the muscles on the top of my thighs. I am toning my legs, and slowly trying to work on my abs now.

Now this week I took a picture of myself in my gym clothes before I was off to do one of my workouts on my mobile phone for a progress picture for myself (The one you can see on my front profile)

Last night I thought I would show my mum my picture - And to be honest I got quite upset : (

She started to say she doesn't like how I am looking, That how I am looking so much bigger these days.... So straight away, I got paranoid and said so do you think I am getting fat? And she said 'No No No'!!!! But you never used to look like this.

'Your shoulders have got a lot wider, Arms are bigger etc. I just don't like it. Your going to end up like that Jodie Marsh girl' Basically my mum doesn't like the muscles on girls - That's fine... That's her opinion, Also my mum just isn't into fitness, and doesn't understand macros, carbs, protein, BMR, TDEE etc...!!!!!

Anyway - My whole point of posting this forum is - I said to her last night, Shall I stop it all and get back to how I was before? And she said 'YES' if you could that would be great!

Ok before (If you go through my pictures on here, sorry don't know how to post on this forum) You will see I am slimmer/skinnier - But now I am a lot more toned, and of course I weigh a lot more now. As I have built up a far bit of muscle. I think I am currently around 146/147lbs.

To be honest I don't really care what I weigh - The number means nothing to me anymore. I am obviously trying to bring down my body fat % and build muscle!

So my question to you guys are:

1) Has the same thing happened to you with your family commenting on your toned and defined look and wanting you to look slimmer like you did before?

2) Do you think I should go back to how I was before? So basically lose my muscle and get back to the scales being lower?

3) Shall I just carry on with my lifting?

I'm really confused today, and feel a bit crappy to be honest! So any good advice would be greatly appreciated.

(Ps) The only thing that bothers me is my bra's have got tighter... Has this also happened to anyone else? Ok yes my back has got bigger obviously as my shoulders are, but how do I get this down. I was a 34b, now I have brought a 36b. Also skinny jeans are tighter on the legs - But obviously this is from them being a lot more toned and bigger now - Shall I slim them down!

Please have a look at my pics - And the one on the front page is of me now!!! Any good advice would be great!

Or if this has happened to you - You can relate etc???

Where shall I go from here.................Stop it all, Carry on etc???

Sorry if I am rambling on and on.....!!!

Thank you all very much............ xxx

fredgiblet

I'm still in the losing weight phase, but I'll tell you my perspective.

Women with a little muscle are sexy.

Granted the female bodybuilder in competition form look isn't so good, but a little bit of biceps and abs looks GOOOOOOOOD. That being said, BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE, don't worry about your mom's opinion, have the body you want to have, if you want some muscle, go for it, if you don't want muscle then stop, it's as simple as that. Make you own choice about how YOU want to look.

VBnotbitter

Your profile says you are 27, so it really has nothing to do with your mum.

Building/maintaining muscle is not just about looks but about how you function especially when you get to your mums age and older.

Keep at it you look great

whitebalance

Make you own choice about how YOU want to look.

And about how you want to feel.

KatherinesRiver

Absolutely. This change is all up to you and yes, muscles on a woman are sexy. A lot has to do with your attitude. Go for it.

glenelliott5872

Women need more fat then Men to function properly after that it is up to you. I personally find the women bodybuilder look unattractive but toned and healthy is fantastic.

Toms_healthish_food

Aslong as your happy with the way you look thats all that really matters at the end of the day, keep on lifting I say.

workout_ninja

I totally get why you are upset. Mums have a huge influence on us and no matter what age we are, we still value their opinion.

However, in saying that, looking at your old pics, i think you look fantastic now. much more tones and defined and you should be proud of your accomplishments

Omar_USAF

I think you look fine. along as you enjoy working out, and your satisfied with the results thats all that matters. I know she's your mother but you have to live your life not hers. (If it makes any sense) Good luck with your decision.

Dewymorning

It is your body, what do you prefer?

I think that is the answer on what you should do in terms of your body.

As for your mum I can understand why you are upset, and parents will have their opinions. So far my mum has been really supportive of my changes, but if I ever get to the stage of bulking it will be interesting to see how she reacts. :O

TavistockToad

if your mum hadnt said anything, you would never have posted this as you were happy with your progress, right? yes she's your mum, so you asked her opinion, but you are an adult, you can make you own choices, its your body...

stop caring so mcuh what other poeple think!

Monty_P

My mum is Thai and she likes the petite look. I will never be petite. I'm 5'8. And I like a toned, fit body. So I've told her on many an occassion that I do not give two s**ts what she thinks!

So do what you want and feel comfortable with!

Omar_USAF

Lol Preach ^

jr235

I think some people just don't get that no one makes a woman crazier than her mother, no matter her age.

The most important thing is how you feel about you look. If your profile picture is you currently I think you're hot (heterosexual female here, so no creeping happening). Carry on how you like and see how feel!

Natmarie73

The most important thing is that you are happy with how you look. If your mum has issues that is her problem, not yours. Perhaps you can explain that muscles are healthy and you have no intention of looking like Arnold Swarchnegger which is probably what she is afraid of.

Therealobi1

I think you look great. Mum's do know how to say things that upset us the most it is just the way it is.
Not everyone understands woman and weights and woman and muscles. One of my friends asked me last year if i wanted muscles just because I picked up a pair of dumbells.

Am glad you posted as I read the bit about bra getting tighter. that has happened to me and I havent gained any weight. I thought that was weird.

Keep up the hard work. x

2nd_Coffee

There is nothing wrong with the way you look, just the way your mum thinks...

It's her opinion but it doesn't make her right.

DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY!:drinker:

nenshali

I know this is kind of hard to handle.

This is not about the age, your mom stays your mom and in some way, we always want our mom's appreciation, don't we?
And even though this journey is not about her, of course it is upsetting if she says something like this.
If I were you, I would feel extremely hurt, to be honest.

But I can only agree, think about what YOU really want. This is not about "what does the majority here find attractive"
if I were you, I would definitely continue. I love toned woman bodies, they're awesome. And in my opinion, YOU look awesome. And I personally prefer the "toned" you over the "skinny" you.

But this is about what YOU feel and what YOU want to reach, to gain, to have. Even if you follow her advice and give in, you might satisfy her; for a short time. She'll find something else she would do different if she were you. And maybe your current/next partner tells you that s/he prefers toned bodies more. What to do then?

Your feelings have priority. :flowerforyou:

Chopstheduck

I think you look fantastic!

There are lots of people who feel that muscles on women are not feminine and don't like it. My husband prefers the skinny look, and hates my muscles. I constantly get comments about mine. BUT it is MY body and I feel sexier with tone and definition.


Don't let your mum dictate to you over your body, but maybe keep photos where you are flexing to yourself

Chadomaniac

Phuk what people say

OverDoIt

It is your body. Nobody on the earth has the right to tell you what to do with it.