Severe Depression AFTER Large Weight Loss....

ninerbuff

This isn't uncommon which is why now we in my Wellness Center really emphasize that parents get their children to learn immediately how to control their appetites and have better eating choices.
Lots of people who gain a lot of weight use food as comfort, so just losing the weight didn't address the initial issue of why they were eating so much. And now the problem is compounded by low self esteem because of their bodies not looking the way they thought it would.
See a professional. It's important that you identify on what's the cause of your depression.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Trophywifey28

Hi Michelle,

I can relate. I lost 105lbs in just under a year in 2007. It has taken me this long to finally be okay with my body. I got pregnant in 2009 and gained back 80lbs, and have lost 50ish of that again. It take a while to get your mind caught up with your body. For me, it's a constant battle. Gaining back the weight will not make you feel better, it will make you feel like a failure. Get your behind to therapy ASAP.

XO

jimmyduyon

Hi Michelle,

I am right there with you. After 18 months I've lost close to 145 pounds. I thought everything would change for me also, but it's as if I don't even recognize who I am anymore. Same problems with the excess skin, which has left me feeling disgusting and even worse than I did when I was over weight. Relationships with girls is non existent because I am subconscience about my looks.
I do journal some my feelings and thoughts but feel there is very few people that relate to me and embarrassed to talk about it since all of my friends are "in shape" of fit. I am looking into body contouring surgery which the skin can be removed but the costs are great along with the pain and recovery time. I encourage you to find someone to talk to and know that you aren't alone. I don't have an answer for you, but hope you can find some comfort in knowing there are others in your situation. Hang in there!

ohtobe140

It's very normal to have these feelings after losing a lot of weight. I have been through it myself and over time your head will adjust, I can't guarantee everyone else will also. Just keep moving forward, if you have to, in 15 minute increments. Use kind words when you think of your body, use kind words when you think of yourself. Be gentle. If only one kind word a day is all you can do, then do that, start small. It is so very difficult for people to accept change of any kind, when it our self or when it's someone else.

There are weight specific therapists out there, body image and self image are two things that are difficult to deal with.

Keep moving forward. My favorite line from The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is "Everything will be alright in the end, if it's not alright, it's not the end" hugs. This is hard, but it will be okay.

neandermagnon

You need to learn to love yourself for the person you are. A lot of people when obese, lose the weight in the belief that it will make them like themselves more, or that people will respect them more, and so on.... but in reality it's not like that. You're still the same person, and if you couldn't love yourself before, then you haven't suddenly learned to love yourself now that you're lean. No-one has the perfect body, even the top models and actresses, their pictures are photoshopped, sometimes an awful lot. They don't even look like the image you see of them. When you were fat you didn't like yourself because you're fat, now you don't like yourself because of things you see as imperfections in your lean self. Learn to love and accept yourself for who you are, imperfections and all, because we all have them. Even the celebrities whose imperfections are photoshopped away, their real bodies still have those imperfections.

You described yourself as the "scared fat girl" - you said you still feel that way and are still not respected.... maybe some assertiveness training will help. Being confident does not come from how your body looks, it comes from how you feel about yourself and also some tricks you can learn to get your point across, or get your fair share in negotiations, without coming across as either scared and timid, or aggressive and domineering. Some of the most confident people I know have really out of shape bodies, but that's not what you notice about them, what you notice is their personality and what they have to say. Learning to love and accept yourself for who you are will help you to be more confident, but some assertiveness training would help as well.

With the exercise, it seems to me like your sole motivation to exercise was to lose weight, so you lost it now, you don't have any motivation to continue.... find new reasons to exercise. Make your health a priority and exercise to be healthy. Find an exercise you enjoy and exercise for fun. Exercise to have skills you didn't have before, or achieve levels of fitness and/or strength you've never achieved before. Focus on what you can do, not what you look like. this article is good: http://articles.elitefts.com/training-articles/a-lion-in-iron-ladies-measurements-dont-matter/ Also, you mentioned depression, I've had a lot of issues with depression and anxiety in the past, and I find exercise to be the best thing after therapy and counselling that has helped to reverse it and give me my life and mental health back. It's really hard to still believe that you're a weak and scared person when you can deadlift more than your bodyweight. That's my experience.

And if you find it hard to make these changes in how you think on your own, or you feel like the depression is getting the better of you, then find a really good therapist/counsellor that you can relate to, and get to the root of it and tackle it.