Is it easier....

sijomial

I think the food intake side comes down to self-control and habit but definitely agree enjoying exercise and activity makes the calorie output side easier.

I've always been sporty and goal driven so having the time and opportunity to train made weight loss much easier. In the past although I was very active and fit I stayed fat - I simply ate more to match any increase in calories burned.

That's why calorie counting worked like a charm for me, it became a simple choice of choosing to stay fat or choosing to hit my calorie allowance. Having an extra 4000+ exercise calories to eat every week is a big help as well in not feeling restricted.

I've a lot of respect for people that dislike exercise but still make themselves do it for their health but fear that longer term continuing to force yourself to do something you don't enjoy is much less likely to be sustainable. For people like that I wonder if incorportating more "activity" is a better long term solution? Less sitting down, more walking, less driving, always taking the stairs - all these things add up.

MagJam2004

the psychological side affect/impact of this business is far greater than most people are willing to admit.

I see some folks saying he just isn't fed up enough and that isn't always enough. I was both pretty fed up and very ashamed of myself whenever I had to get in the shower and had to see that fat guy in the full mirror looking back at me. But I was equally as mired in my frustration and confusion as I was in my shame and anger. I had no clear path in front of me and it took A HUGE first step to reach out and ask for help. Now I find myself drowning in ignorance and still as lost as before, only I understand now that the trail must be made, it isn't clear and laid out. I believe for some like me that have been big their whole life, it is in fact a bit harder. Not just the physical hurdles that have to be overcome, but the mental and emotional ones as well. Those are the beastly ones.

Jenn842512

This is an excellent topic for debate but one that I think is so circumstancial, with sooo many factors to consider, that you could never say definitively one way or the other.

I was a high school athlete. Kickboxing, tennis, softball, horseback... Went to college and got a F&B job and gained a LOT of weight. But once I'd "had enough" and really got back in it, my body felt like coming home. The muscle memory, the joy in movement and competition, they were all still there right below the lazy surface. Once an athlete always an athlete.

BUT, I truly truly believe that anyone can create their body and life to be ANYTHING if they are determined enough. They just may not have the same resources as someone with our past.

kickivale

I never played sports as a kid. I read a lot of books alone at recess
I never danced or liked swimming or climbed trees because I was too shy to get out there and join the group.
But I also never wanted to eat more than a fistful of food in a sitting…never craved piles of candy or more than one piece of cake or pizza…
And to this day I've never been technically overweight, not by a long shot.
I do think it's easier for me because my body seems very inclined to hover right in the realm of lean. That's how I am built.
My older sister on the other hand was an athlete a ballerina a voracious eater…she had some real weight problems in her teen years and really has to kick *kitten* to maintain the weigh loss she achieved.
I totally agree with your friend, some people are this way, some people are that way. It's deciding what one really wants that matter sthough. There's no excuse to live in a body you don't love, right?

cwolfman13

I've a lot of respect for people that dislike exercise but still make themselves do it for their health but fear that longer term continuing to force yourself to do something you don't enjoy is much less likely to be sustainable. For people like that I wonder if incorportating more "activity" is a better long term solution? Less sitting down, more walking, less driving, always taking the stairs - all these things add up.

That's definitely something I've been talking to him about and I think he's taken it to heart. He no longer waits for the "rock star" parking at the store but rather he finds a spot further away. He says he takes the stairs at work and parks further away from the building. As the weather improves and when day light savings arrives, hopefully he'll get in a few more rounds of golf...he doesn't use a cart anymore for 9 holes or the Executive 9 (I used to give him major **** for that one) which is a step in the right direction.

cwolfman13

I wish there was some way for me to convey that feeling of awesomeness to him...but it only comes from making it a habit by which your level of fitness actually improves. I can get him out on the bike with me maybe once per month...dude is strong as hell, so I tried to get him into the power rack with me as well...if he wanted to, he could rock some power lifting...pretty much a no go there. Forget running, he won't even entertain the notion. He does like golf and fishing....So at least he moves a little, but he only does one of those things about once per week.

You're only looking at one part of the fitness/health equation. I know that getting active becomes self rewarding because most of us start eating better. This reminds me of a mean article on T-nation.
http://www.t-nation.com/powerful-words/merry-christmas-bob

love this...this was great....

"We do it because we absolutely and totally get off on it. We do it because what we do in the gym transfers over into the rest of our lives and changes us -- physically, mentally, maybe even spiritually. We do it because it beats watching celebritards on TV.

"When we're in the gym, we're in this indescribable, euphoric zone. It's a feeling of being on, of being completely alive. Within this haze of pleasure and pain, there's knowledge and power, self-discipline and self-reliance. If you do it long enough, there's even enlightenment. Sometimes, the answers to questions you didn't even know you had are sitting there on those rubber mats, disguised as iron plates and bent bars.

DopeItUp

Well, of course it's easier or harder for some people, but that doesn't really change the facts any.

At the end of the day, it all comes down to you leaving a 300lb corpse, 20 years too young or not. If it's harder, it's harder, but it still has to be done if you don't want to be that guy.

husseycd

I think it does help to be a naturally active person, or someone who enjoys active hobbies. I've never been one to sit still, so even when my diet was horrible, I was never overweight. The idea of sitting around all day sounds dreadful to me.

Now, I was never one to exercise just to exercise either. I had to change my goals to start really hitting the weights in gym. But my hobbies are almost always exercise based.

That being said, I still have to find activities I enjoy. You will never find me on the treadmill for longer than 10 minutes (and that's pushing it). So it still takes a level of dedication.

rybo

Great topic, very thought provoking and meaningful.

Wolfman, I am from a very similar back story as you. Always active & athletic. Viewed an AYCE buffet as and "average" meal, but was so active it didn't matter. Then I hit a period in my life where activity ceased (or dramatically slowed) but the eating didn't. I got chubby for a few years (at least compared to what I was) Then decided to lose it...started back to running & working out, created better eating habits and lost the weight fairly easily. Yes there were times I didnt want to run or whatever, but I still just did it, because that was how it had to be. there's always days where you don't feel like working out but you do. I see people that lose LOTS of weight and they to me are the truly inspirational ones because they created a whole new person, where as I just got back to who I always was.

msf74

So what do you think, is it easier?

Yes, I do especially with regard to fitness and exercise.

I think it is much easier to pick up exercising when you have been formerly athletic, especially as a child, than to learn to achieve it as an adult.

I don't think we ever truly forget, either body or mind, the skills we learn. Those habits are there lurking in our unconscious minds, our neural connections and encoded into our muscle memory. Learning these skills as children tends to be much easier as we have less barriers to overcome (particularly mental), less fear of injury or failure. Then as adults when we seek to pick them up again we get back into the groove quicker. You know when you have mastered something? When you don't have to think about it and it seems effortless to get into the zone. That state comes much quicker to the formerly athletic than the never been athletic.

bachampion04

So what do you think, is it easier?

Fast honest answer...no it isnt easier. Reading your stories and the journey from past to present i truly can say i understand both sides of your fitness universe. In my youth (im 27 and 1/4 btw) i was just like you, active in almost every sport possible, biking, hiking, balling, chasing cousins and running from the rabid dog in the neighbor (still have nightmares). So saying that is my body is naturally small and use to constantly being moved in some manner. But when i moved away from my family and home to pursue my career about 4 years ago, i fell into a deep depression that i never realized until it was too late. I became an emotional eater, i stopped working out, and i became a huge homebody. When i finally realized what i did to myself, i wanted out and to get back to the man i once was. I started doing all the things i did when i was younger since that was all i knew and i could barely do it. I was so winded and exhausted from a simple run down the street and that made my depression much worse because i thought i lost my life. So during my 3 year journey of going back and forth losing weight and gaining it right back i finally found my spark and i decided to pursue another career path that i wanted badly and that was to join the military. So i pushed myself daily even when it hurt me the most just to past TAPES so i could get in, then when i finally made it through Basic training i had regained my old self again. All the energy i had prior if not more, my strength my metabolism, everything! The morale of the story is that it took many many years for me to see results and then it took an even more extreme step as going to basic training in a structured environment secluded from EVERYTHING for me to get back to a stable life again and by all means i REFUSE to go back to the depressed me. The best thing you can be for your friend is his biggest cheerleader as well as his greatest judge. When you see him falling off, rush to him and get him moving. Never allow him to become unmotivated. He is making valid points but never say never. No one is destined to be a big person he just needs the extra push to keepg going and make the life change. He can still enjoy his video games and relaxed way of life because i am doing it currently. But i always slot time for me to workout and stay fit and when im home playing games and enjoying time the best way i know how i control what im putting in my body so that i dont fall backwards.

Sorry for the dissertation thesis but i take this subject very very very close to heart and am very passionate about helping others pursue their dreams the way i did.

If you guys need anything please dont hesitate to ask, im definitely here for you both.

- James

sydkel29

Great Post. Love reading the thoughts and opinions from everyone.

cwolfman13

thanks guys, this all really helps. I'm just going to keep helping when and where I can and when he asks me. I'm going to keep emphasizing to him that he can't compare his weight loss to mine and that his 20 Lbs thus far is great and point out all of the little things he's changed over this last year or so and push him to continue to make those incremental changes. I'm going to try to keep him focused on the bigger picture...that he's creating a new lifestyle and that takes time, especially when you're doing it from scratch. I just have to keep emphasizing the positives with him.

kris727ta

it is easier for you because you want it more. People who have weight issues have to forget about their old habits and learn to eat new things on a regular basis. Exercise needs to be added to the calendar and do it like it's something you have to do like going to work or to a doc appt. It's important. No excuses. New Habit, new you. Keep giving inspiration and support.

MagJam2004

thanks guys, this all really helps. I'm just going to keep helping when and where I can and when he asks me. I'm going to keep emphasizing to him that he can't compare his weight loss to mine and that his 20 Lbs thus far is great and point out all of the little things he's changed over this last year or so and push him to continue to make those incremental changes. I'm going to try to keep him focused on the bigger picture...that he's creating a new lifestyle and that takes time, especially when you're doing it from scratch. I just have to keep emphasizing the positives with him.

That is the kind of stuff my family has been doing for me, and it is what I lean on when I feel like falling over. Great stuff Wolfman.

breeshabebe

I kind of sound like your friend.

I think that most limitations are just mental. Sometimes you feel a bit trapped trying to stay true to the person you have always been, but still trying to become someone completely different. Weightloss changes your interests.... your likes and dislikes. If I am the person that always makes the best dish at the potluck or the person that dominates at video games then it can be hard trying to live up to both.

Especially when you don't know what the end result of your weight loss might be. I've never seen myself at a healthy weight.... so looking forward I'm excited to see how much more attractive/healthy I might be... but there is a possibility that I could lose weight and still find myself unattractive or have certain health limitations. It's like that saying "Hey... I may be fat but you're ugly. I can always lose weight....but you will still be ugly." What if its both?! Yikes!

It's not that its less work... just a bit different on the mental side of things.

Hearts_2015

Interesting thread, glad you posted it. I'll be back around to catch up!:drinker:

Ninkyou

I'm pretty much the same as your friend. Outdoor activities meant going to the beach once a summer and sitting my butt down in the beach chair reading the afternoon away. Or playing video games all day. I'm inherently lazy. I also did terribly in PE in high school. I've never been athletic, or at least not since I was a kid.

When I finally decided to do something about my morbidly obese weight, my body really rebelled physically.... or at least I thought it did. I was in pain, could barely withstand a handful of minutes of exercise and I felt very down about the whole thing. I went to my doctor, because I was obviously concerned. She told me to take it slower, way slower. I was trying too much too soon. It was really hard to reconcile with that advice. I started by walking to the 1 mile marker at my local park. Of course I was happy to make it there (plus I had to walk all the way back), but I felt like a schmuck when other people would keep going. You really begin to question yourself in those kinds of moments. Why can't I go all the way? Why can't I be that person jogging the whole 4 mile trip? Why can't I be that skinny b**** running along the side of the road when I drive to the gym (see my profile about the skinny b****, lol) Why, Why, Why? And then it struck me. All of these people started somewhere. Did they start at the same exact spot as me? Maybe, maybe not. But the point of it is, to START and keep going. There's no reason I can't be just like one of them. I just have to work my way there. Will it take me longer than it did them? Probably. But if I get there, will it really matter to me how long it took? No, it'll matter that I got there to begin with.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is, it doesn't matter if it's easier to start from nothing or a little. As long as you start and keep going. As long as you focus on you, it doesn't matter. No one is the same, and we can't compare. But as long as I reach *MY* goal, I'm happy. If a friend of mine makes *HIS/HER* goal, I'll be happy. How long it takes is irrelevant.

cwolfman13

I started by walking to the 1 mile marker at my local park. Of course I was happy to make it there (plus I had to walk all the way back), but I felt like a schmuck when other people would keep going. You really begin to question yourself in those kinds of moments. Why can't I go all the way? Why can't I be that person jogging the whole 4 mile trip? Why can't I be that skinny b**** running along the side of the road when I drive to the gym (see my profile about the skinny b****, lol) Why, Why, Why? And then it struck me. All of these people started somewhere. Did they start at the same exact spot as me? Maybe, maybe not. But the point of it is, to START and keep going.

That's great...and it's good that you realize that everyone starts somewhere and that you just keep going because really, you're never done. I'm pretty fit at the moment and I'm training for a metric century right now...and I'm like "dammit...why am I bonking at 32 miles?" For other cyclists, that's just a "well it's Saturday, better get out for a ride."...for me, it's a long ride right now...in a few months, it'll be more or less child's play.

moral of that is, as awesome as you are...you can always be more awesome and there will always be someone more awesome than you...which is what is the thing that drives me even greater heights of awesomeness.

JesterMFP

I don't know if it's easier, but I do think it's different. When you've always been fat, you do have to kind of reinvent yourself a bit, there is a shift in identity.

I was a sedentary kid, teenager and adult. I was never any good at sports and was actively discouraged from them at school. All the hobbies I naturally lean towards are sedentary. However, I've found the exercise part surprisingly easy. I discovered I love running, and I just love the way my body feels being more active. I'll never willingly go back to being sedentary and wish I could convince everyone I know of how great exercise is.

The food stuff, well I think that will always be a challenge. I've been an emotional eater since childhood, and I'm not sure that'll ever completely go away. It's under control now, but I have to fight mini battles just about every day. I have a close friend who was always fit and healthy. As she's got older, her weight has yo-yoed a bit in the last couple of years. She struggles because she's just a bit less active than she used to be, loves food, and wants to eat as much as she always did. She finds it hard to keep the weight off, but not in the same way I do. She can't relate at all to the way I struggle with food. In a way, it's harder for her to maintain a healthy weight, because she doesn't like calorie counting, and doesn't want to do any more vigorous exercise than walking. I have been far more successful at weight loss/maintenance than her. I'm not sure she'll ever get there. I love exercise and calorie counting has become second nature. So, in that way, it's easier for me. But not over-eating is a near daily battle in a way that it will never be for my friend. Over-eating has been my number one coping mechanism since I was a child, and it hasn't been easy to give it up. That will always be the sticking point for me, the one thing that will make regaining the weight a possibility.

Most of the people I know at work are overweight and trying to lose weight, unsuccessfully. To them, I've cracked it, I'm now someone who doesn't have a weight problem. And yet, I probably think about food and calories and worry about it far more than they do.

Overall, I don't think it's really easier for anyone. I think when you reach a point where you want it badly enough, you no longer have those creeping doubts where you allow yourself to think maybe you're not cut out for it. You start acknowledging that it's hard but that you're going to do anyway. No going back. And when you reach that point, everyone is on the same playing field.

This is what I feel too. I know that no matter how hard it feels sometimes (and despite what I said above), I'm not going back. It's too important, my health's too important to go back to where I was. So, in that sense, it feels easy, and I feel more fortunate than those who don't get it yet.