Is it easier....

bachampion04

So what do you think, is it easier?

Fast honest answer...no it isnt easier. Reading your stories and the journey from past to present i truly can say i understand both sides of your fitness universe. In my youth (im 27 and 1/4 btw) i was just like you, active in almost every sport possible, biking, hiking, balling, chasing cousins and running from the rabid dog in the neighbor (still have nightmares). So saying that is my body is naturally small and use to constantly being moved in some manner. But when i moved away from my family and home to pursue my career about 4 years ago, i fell into a deep depression that i never realized until it was too late. I became an emotional eater, i stopped working out, and i became a huge homebody. When i finally realized what i did to myself, i wanted out and to get back to the man i once was. I started doing all the things i did when i was younger since that was all i knew and i could barely do it. I was so winded and exhausted from a simple run down the street and that made my depression much worse because i thought i lost my life. So during my 3 year journey of going back and forth losing weight and gaining it right back i finally found my spark and i decided to pursue another career path that i wanted badly and that was to join the military. So i pushed myself daily even when it hurt me the most just to past TAPES so i could get in, then when i finally made it through Basic training i had regained my old self again. All the energy i had prior if not more, my strength my metabolism, everything! The morale of the story is that it took many many years for me to see results and then it took an even more extreme step as going to basic training in a structured environment secluded from EVERYTHING for me to get back to a stable life again and by all means i REFUSE to go back to the depressed me. The best thing you can be for your friend is his biggest cheerleader as well as his greatest judge. When you see him falling off, rush to him and get him moving. Never allow him to become unmotivated. He is making valid points but never say never. No one is destined to be a big person he just needs the extra push to keepg going and make the life change. He can still enjoy his video games and relaxed way of life because i am doing it currently. But i always slot time for me to workout and stay fit and when im home playing games and enjoying time the best way i know how i control what im putting in my body so that i dont fall backwards.

Sorry for the dissertation thesis but i take this subject very very very close to heart and am very passionate about helping others pursue their dreams the way i did.

If you guys need anything please dont hesitate to ask, im definitely here for you both.

- James

sydkel29

Great Post. Love reading the thoughts and opinions from everyone.

cwolfman13

thanks guys, this all really helps. I'm just going to keep helping when and where I can and when he asks me. I'm going to keep emphasizing to him that he can't compare his weight loss to mine and that his 20 Lbs thus far is great and point out all of the little things he's changed over this last year or so and push him to continue to make those incremental changes. I'm going to try to keep him focused on the bigger picture...that he's creating a new lifestyle and that takes time, especially when you're doing it from scratch. I just have to keep emphasizing the positives with him.

kris727ta

it is easier for you because you want it more. People who have weight issues have to forget about their old habits and learn to eat new things on a regular basis. Exercise needs to be added to the calendar and do it like it's something you have to do like going to work or to a doc appt. It's important. No excuses. New Habit, new you. Keep giving inspiration and support.

MagJam2004

thanks guys, this all really helps. I'm just going to keep helping when and where I can and when he asks me. I'm going to keep emphasizing to him that he can't compare his weight loss to mine and that his 20 Lbs thus far is great and point out all of the little things he's changed over this last year or so and push him to continue to make those incremental changes. I'm going to try to keep him focused on the bigger picture...that he's creating a new lifestyle and that takes time, especially when you're doing it from scratch. I just have to keep emphasizing the positives with him.

That is the kind of stuff my family has been doing for me, and it is what I lean on when I feel like falling over. Great stuff Wolfman.

breeshabebe

I kind of sound like your friend.

I think that most limitations are just mental. Sometimes you feel a bit trapped trying to stay true to the person you have always been, but still trying to become someone completely different. Weightloss changes your interests.... your likes and dislikes. If I am the person that always makes the best dish at the potluck or the person that dominates at video games then it can be hard trying to live up to both.

Especially when you don't know what the end result of your weight loss might be. I've never seen myself at a healthy weight.... so looking forward I'm excited to see how much more attractive/healthy I might be... but there is a possibility that I could lose weight and still find myself unattractive or have certain health limitations. It's like that saying "Hey... I may be fat but you're ugly. I can always lose weight....but you will still be ugly." What if its both?! Yikes!

It's not that its less work... just a bit different on the mental side of things.

Hearts_2015

Interesting thread, glad you posted it. I'll be back around to catch up!:drinker:

Ninkyou

I'm pretty much the same as your friend. Outdoor activities meant going to the beach once a summer and sitting my butt down in the beach chair reading the afternoon away. Or playing video games all day. I'm inherently lazy. I also did terribly in PE in high school. I've never been athletic, or at least not since I was a kid.

When I finally decided to do something about my morbidly obese weight, my body really rebelled physically.... or at least I thought it did. I was in pain, could barely withstand a handful of minutes of exercise and I felt very down about the whole thing. I went to my doctor, because I was obviously concerned. She told me to take it slower, way slower. I was trying too much too soon. It was really hard to reconcile with that advice. I started by walking to the 1 mile marker at my local park. Of course I was happy to make it there (plus I had to walk all the way back), but I felt like a schmuck when other people would keep going. You really begin to question yourself in those kinds of moments. Why can't I go all the way? Why can't I be that person jogging the whole 4 mile trip? Why can't I be that skinny b**** running along the side of the road when I drive to the gym (see my profile about the skinny b****, lol) Why, Why, Why? And then it struck me. All of these people started somewhere. Did they start at the same exact spot as me? Maybe, maybe not. But the point of it is, to START and keep going. There's no reason I can't be just like one of them. I just have to work my way there. Will it take me longer than it did them? Probably. But if I get there, will it really matter to me how long it took? No, it'll matter that I got there to begin with.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is, it doesn't matter if it's easier to start from nothing or a little. As long as you start and keep going. As long as you focus on you, it doesn't matter. No one is the same, and we can't compare. But as long as I reach *MY* goal, I'm happy. If a friend of mine makes *HIS/HER* goal, I'll be happy. How long it takes is irrelevant.

cwolfman13

I started by walking to the 1 mile marker at my local park. Of course I was happy to make it there (plus I had to walk all the way back), but I felt like a schmuck when other people would keep going. You really begin to question yourself in those kinds of moments. Why can't I go all the way? Why can't I be that person jogging the whole 4 mile trip? Why can't I be that skinny b**** running along the side of the road when I drive to the gym (see my profile about the skinny b****, lol) Why, Why, Why? And then it struck me. All of these people started somewhere. Did they start at the same exact spot as me? Maybe, maybe not. But the point of it is, to START and keep going.

That's great...and it's good that you realize that everyone starts somewhere and that you just keep going because really, you're never done. I'm pretty fit at the moment and I'm training for a metric century right now...and I'm like "dammit...why am I bonking at 32 miles?" For other cyclists, that's just a "well it's Saturday, better get out for a ride."...for me, it's a long ride right now...in a few months, it'll be more or less child's play.

moral of that is, as awesome as you are...you can always be more awesome and there will always be someone more awesome than you...which is what is the thing that drives me even greater heights of awesomeness.

JesterMFP

I don't know if it's easier, but I do think it's different. When you've always been fat, you do have to kind of reinvent yourself a bit, there is a shift in identity.

I was a sedentary kid, teenager and adult. I was never any good at sports and was actively discouraged from them at school. All the hobbies I naturally lean towards are sedentary. However, I've found the exercise part surprisingly easy. I discovered I love running, and I just love the way my body feels being more active. I'll never willingly go back to being sedentary and wish I could convince everyone I know of how great exercise is.

The food stuff, well I think that will always be a challenge. I've been an emotional eater since childhood, and I'm not sure that'll ever completely go away. It's under control now, but I have to fight mini battles just about every day. I have a close friend who was always fit and healthy. As she's got older, her weight has yo-yoed a bit in the last couple of years. She struggles because she's just a bit less active than she used to be, loves food, and wants to eat as much as she always did. She finds it hard to keep the weight off, but not in the same way I do. She can't relate at all to the way I struggle with food. In a way, it's harder for her to maintain a healthy weight, because she doesn't like calorie counting, and doesn't want to do any more vigorous exercise than walking. I have been far more successful at weight loss/maintenance than her. I'm not sure she'll ever get there. I love exercise and calorie counting has become second nature. So, in that way, it's easier for me. But not over-eating is a near daily battle in a way that it will never be for my friend. Over-eating has been my number one coping mechanism since I was a child, and it hasn't been easy to give it up. That will always be the sticking point for me, the one thing that will make regaining the weight a possibility.

Most of the people I know at work are overweight and trying to lose weight, unsuccessfully. To them, I've cracked it, I'm now someone who doesn't have a weight problem. And yet, I probably think about food and calories and worry about it far more than they do.

Overall, I don't think it's really easier for anyone. I think when you reach a point where you want it badly enough, you no longer have those creeping doubts where you allow yourself to think maybe you're not cut out for it. You start acknowledging that it's hard but that you're going to do anyway. No going back. And when you reach that point, everyone is on the same playing field.

This is what I feel too. I know that no matter how hard it feels sometimes (and despite what I said above), I'm not going back. It's too important, my health's too important to go back to where I was. So, in that sense, it feels easy, and I feel more fortunate than those who don't get it yet.

Ninkyou

I started by walking to the 1 mile marker at my local park. Of course I was happy to make it there (plus I had to walk all the way back), but I felt like a schmuck when other people would keep going. You really begin to question yourself in those kinds of moments. Why can't I go all the way? Why can't I be that person jogging the whole 4 mile trip? Why can't I be that skinny b**** running along the side of the road when I drive to the gym (see my profile about the skinny b****, lol) Why, Why, Why? And then it struck me. All of these people started somewhere. Did they start at the same exact spot as me? Maybe, maybe not. But the point of it is, to START and keep going.

That's great...and it's good that you realize that everyone starts somewhere and that you just keep going because really, you're never done. I'm pretty fit at the moment and I'm training for a metric century right now...and I'm like "dammit...why am I bonking at 32 miles?" For other cyclists, that's just a "well it's Saturday, better get out for a ride."...for me, it's a long ride right now...in a few months, it'll be more or less child's play.

moral of that is, as awesome as you are...you can always be more awesome and there will always be someone more awesome than you...which is what is the thing that drives me even greater heights of awesomeness.

Exactly. I don't even bat an eye at that 1 mile marker anymore. It was such a big deal then, but now it's a thing of the past. It's a great feeling. You just have to keep going and keep challenging yourself. It doesn't matter how athletic you are, just keep going and keep building it up, and before you know it, you ARE that athletic person.

Natmarie73

I definately think it is easier for someone who has had a lifetime of doing and enjoying excersise and knowledge of nutrition etc etc to lose weight than for someone who has not. It would be the same if a skinny person had to gain X kilo's in X timeframe by overeating and not excersising - I imagine someone who has been overweight and inactive previously would succeed a lot quicker than someone who has always been fit and thin. Mainly because they have had the experience before and it is familiar to them in both cases. Reinventing yourself and changing your whole lifestyle would be so much harder than just going back to what you once were.

cwolfman13

After giving this a bit more thought last night, I think "easier" or "harder" is incorrect verbiage. To say it's "easier" sort of says that not much work was put into it...which in my case isn't true at all. Someone who is sedentary might say to me, "it's easy for you to ride your bike 30 miles."...but it's really not that simple...I didn't just get on my bike and ride 30 miles easily...I had to start somewhere and I had to put in the work along the way. I think saying it's "easier" discounts that effort.

I do concede that there are certain advantages that I may have given my background. Given my background I know how to train and I know how to eat to support that training and have always had a pretty good grasp of proper nutrition and the kind of nutrition I needed to fuel my training. Mentally I don't have to conceptualize what it feels like to be healthy, fit, and strong...I've been there...I know exactly what it feels like. Same can be said for my body and aesthetics...I don't really have to guess at a goal BF% or weight...I know that I'm most comfortable in the 15-16% BF range and I know from prior experience just how that looks and what it feels like.

So, definitely certain advantages to having a past that involved a great deal of activity and sport...but it doesn't really make the work easier...work is still work...you still have to get 'er done.