"Oh, so you're starving yourself?"

SillaWinchester

So my mother just informed me that they are having Chinese take out for dinner and since I just had Red Robin for lunch (and was hoping to have a semi healthy, filling, yet not completely bulky meal for dinner) I told her I was planning on having yogurt, granola and a ton of fruit for dinner. She replied, "Oh, so you're starving yourself?" I said, "No! I'm not starving myself! I ate a lot of food today and since I'm still full, I don't feel like eating a bulky dinner." She proceeded to run outside and yell to my neighbors (there were 5+ of them outside,) "She is starving herself tonight!"

I'm not really embarrassed or anything like that because I know that I am not starving myself by choosing this meal. I have been craving yogurt, granola and fruit for a while now and I am not in the mood for a bulky meal so I am mainly eating just to eat haha.

I am a bit mad about this, though. This isn't the first time she's criticized my eating choices. It seems if I am not eating the junk food she wants me to eat, I am not eating "correctly" to her.

What can I say to her? I've tried, "I'm doing this for my health, please support me." and it obviously doesn't help.

Anyone been through something like this before?

dakotababy

Maybe direct her to the nearest psych ward?

DP325i

Have to say it, and no offence, but that was really childish of her to do that, eat how you want, and don't feel pressured by her or her bad eating habits, you're doing this for you! Not her.

LessthanKris

That would be really annoying. Especially since you did go eat Red Robin which is not usually a place one goes for a light meal. I would tell her that eating like that is what got you to a place where you wanted to make a change. This is how you make that change and since you are 30lbs down you are doing something right.

MissLCWolff

Maybe try sitting down with your mother and telling her that you're serious about trying to eat better and be healthier, so instead of her just buying junk food and takeout and getting offended when you don't eat it, you'd like it if the two of you could collaborate on meal plans so both of you could eat what makes you happy, even if that sometimes means that you have yogurt and she has egg rolls.

19TaraLynn84

Show her your food diary and prove to her that you aren't starving yourself.

donyellemoniquex3

So my mother just informed me that they are having Chinese take out for dinner and since I just had Red Robin for lunch (and was hoping to have a semi healthy, filling, yet not completely bulky meal for dinner) I told her I was planning on having yogurt, granola and a ton of fruit for dinner. She replied, "Oh, so you're starving yourself?" I said, "No! I'm not starving myself! I ate a lot of food today and since I'm still full, I don't feel like eating a bulky dinner." She proceeded to run outside and yell to my neighbors (there were 5+ of them outside,) "Prescilla is starving herself tonight!"

I'm not really embarrassed or anything like that because I know that I am not starving myself by choosing this meal. I have been craving yogurt, granola and fruit for a while now and I am not in the mood for a bulky meal so I am mainly eating just to eat haha.

I am a bit mad about this, though. This isn't the first time she's criticized my eating choices. It seems if I am not eating the junk food she wants me to eat, I am not eating "correctly" to her.

What can I say to her? I've tried, "I'm doing this for my health, please support me." and it obviously doesn't help.

Anyone been through something like this before?

My advice would be to punch her in the head a few dozen times... but that's just me.

weightxlossjourney

Ignore her, when you hit your goal weight, maybe she'll want to "starve" herself as well. Your mother doesn't understand your choices and that's perfectly fine, you started this journey for yourself not her. You got it girl!

DP325i

jenilla1

Your mom is one of those manipulative types, huh? That's OK. Recognize it for what it is and IGNORE any attempts at manipulation. You are a grown adult now. Just laugh it off and do what you need to do. :drinker:

MissBlunts420

Honestly, there is nothing that you can say to her if she doesn't want to hear it. You don't have to prove yourself to your mother or anyone else. Just keep doing what works for you!

cheripugh1

So my mother just informed me that they are having Chinese take out for dinner and since I just had Red Robin for lunch (and was hoping to have a semi healthy, filling, yet not completely bulky meal for dinner) I told her I was planning on having yogurt, granola and a ton of fruit for dinner. She replied, "Oh, so you're starving yourself?" I said, "No! I'm not starving myself! I ate a lot of food today and since I'm still full, I don't feel like eating a bulky dinner." She proceeded to run outside and yell to my neighbors (there were 5+ of them outside,) "Prescilla is starving herself tonight!"

I'm not really embarrassed or anything like that because I know that I am not starving myself by choosing this meal. I have been craving yogurt, granola and fruit for a while now and I am not in the mood for a bulky meal so I am mainly eating just to eat haha.

I am a bit mad about this, though. This isn't the first time she's criticized my eating choices. It seems if I am not eating the junk food she wants me to eat, I am not eating "correctly" to her.

What can I say to her? I've tried, "I'm doing this for my health, please support me." and it obviously doesn't help.

Anyone been through something like this before?

I don't think there is any way to stop her but maybe tell her or ask her if she'd like to run outside and tell the world that she wants to kill you... which is what not losing wt. will do...

OK maybe tell her what you are doing and why and tell her you love her so much you want to stay healthy to be around a long time and tell her all you want is for her to love you too... or when she says she loves you then look her in the eyes and say then back me up mom on this journey...

I think you have to ignore her until she sees what you are doing is the best...

Marcia315

WTF? Running out and telling the neighbors? That's just whacked.

tmauck4472

Honestly your never going to make her understand so just stick with what you are doing and what you know is right for you and let her do what she thinks she has to do. As long as you never give in to her demands and her way of trying to bend you to her will then you'll feel better. Take pleasure in knowing your driving her batty, hey that's it make it a game so you will get a kick out of seeing what she'll do next. Laugh in her face (or behind her back) and score 1 for you 0 for Mom. :laugh:

crsawinton

She sounds like an enabler, and like she doesn't "get it" either. Her behaviour with the neighbors also sounds quite childish. I suggest showing her your logs, maybe it will help her see what you are going for? maybe not, some people are people are perfectly happy with their head in the sand.

I would try to reach her, explain what you are not happy with, and tell her your goals! Ask for her support, but explain to her if she can't be supportive you would prefer that she at least kept her opinion to herself. If she is genuinely concerned she should discuss it with you like a sane, rational adult, not try to shame you into eating take-out!! grrrr.

TX_Rhon

You've just described my mother. Welcome to my world! I ignore and move on, I also tell her very little. Do what's best for you. :flowerforyou:

SillaWinchester

That is the most fantastic thing ever!

19TaraLynn84

So my mother just informed me that they are having Chinese take out for dinner and since I just had Red Robin for lunch (and was hoping to have a semi healthy, filling, yet not completely bulky meal for dinner) I told her I was planning on having yogurt, granola and a ton of fruit for dinner. She replied, "Oh, so you're starving yourself?" I said, "No! I'm not starving myself! I ate a lot of food today and since I'm still full, I don't feel like eating a bulky dinner." She proceeded to run outside and yell to my neighbors (there were 5+ of them outside,) "Prescilla is starving herself tonight!"

I'm not really embarrassed or anything like that because I know that I am not starving myself by choosing this meal. I have been craving yogurt, granola and fruit for a while now and I am not in the mood for a bulky meal so I am mainly eating just to eat haha.

I am a bit mad about this, though. This isn't the first time she's criticized my eating choices. It seems if I am not eating the junk food she wants me to eat, I am not eating "correctly" to her.

What can I say to her? I've tried, "I'm doing this for my health, please support me." and it obviously doesn't help.

Anyone been through something like this before?

My advice would be to punch her in the head a few dozen times... but that's just me.

Ummmmmmmm........wow. Must be some other issues going on there.

SillaWinchester

So my mother just informed me that they are having Chinese take out for dinner and since I just had Red Robin for lunch (and was hoping to have a semi healthy, filling, yet not completely bulky meal for dinner) I told her I was planning on having yogurt, granola and a ton of fruit for dinner. She replied, "Oh, so you're starving yourself?" I said, "No! I'm not starving myself! I ate a lot of food today and since I'm still full, I don't feel like eating a bulky dinner." She proceeded to run outside and yell to my neighbors (there were 5+ of them outside,) "Prescilla is starving herself tonight!"

I'm not really embarrassed or anything like that because I know that I am not starving myself by choosing this meal. I have been craving yogurt, granola and fruit for a while now and I am not in the mood for a bulky meal so I am mainly eating just to eat haha.

I am a bit mad about this, though. This isn't the first time she's criticized my eating choices. It seems if I am not eating the junk food she wants me to eat, I am not eating "correctly" to her.

What can I say to her? I've tried, "I'm doing this for my health, please support me." and it obviously doesn't help.

Anyone been through something like this before?

My advice would be to punch her in the head a few dozen times... but that's just me.

Ummmmmmmm........wow. Must be some other issues going on there.

Yeah, I don't think I'm going to punch my mom.

DP325i

So my mother just informed me that they are having Chinese take out for dinner and since I just had Red Robin for lunch (and was hoping to have a semi healthy, filling, yet not completely bulky meal for dinner) I told her I was planning on having yogurt, granola and a ton of fruit for dinner. She replied, "Oh, so you're starving yourself?" I said, "No! I'm not starving myself! I ate a lot of food today and since I'm still full, I don't feel like eating a bulky dinner." She proceeded to run outside and yell to my neighbors (there were 5+ of them outside,) "Prescilla is starving herself tonight!"

I'm not really embarrassed or anything like that because I know that I am not starving myself by choosing this meal. I have been craving yogurt, granola and fruit for a while now and I am not in the mood for a bulky meal so I am mainly eating just to eat haha.

I am a bit mad about this, though. This isn't the first time she's criticized my eating choices. It seems if I am not eating the junk food she wants me to eat, I am not eating "correctly" to her.

What can I say to her? I've tried, "I'm doing this for my health, please support me." and it obviously doesn't help.

Anyone been through something like this before?

My advice would be to punch her in the head a few dozen times... but that's just me.

Ummmmmmmm........wow. Must be some other issues going on there.

Yeah, I don't think I'm going to punch my mom.

Me and my mother being well versed in martial arts..... spar with each other, so...... I have punched mine, then I was promptly knocked out by a well placed right hook.

And is it bad I always lose to her yet I out rank her?

SillaWinchester

So my mother just informed me that they are having Chinese take out for dinner and since I just had Red Robin for lunch (and was hoping to have a semi healthy, filling, yet not completely bulky meal for dinner) I told her I was planning on having yogurt, granola and a ton of fruit for dinner. She replied, "Oh, so you're starving yourself?" I said, "No! I'm not starving myself! I ate a lot of food today and since I'm still full, I don't feel like eating a bulky dinner." She proceeded to run outside and yell to my neighbors (there were 5+ of them outside,) "Prescilla is starving herself tonight!"

I'm not really embarrassed or anything like that because I know that I am not starving myself by choosing this meal. I have been craving yogurt, granola and fruit for a while now and I am not in the mood for a bulky meal so I am mainly eating just to eat haha.

I am a bit mad about this, though. This isn't the first time she's criticized my eating choices. It seems if I am not eating the junk food she wants me to eat, I am not eating "correctly" to her.

What can I say to her? I've tried, "I'm doing this for my health, please support me." and it obviously doesn't help.

Anyone been through something like this before?

My advice would be to punch her in the head a few dozen times... but that's just me.

Ummmmmmmm........wow. Must be some other issues going on there.

Yeah, I don't think I'm going to punch my mom.

Me and my mother being well versed in martial arts..... spar with each other, so...... I have punched mine, then I was promptly knocked out by a well placed right hook.

And is it bad I always lose to her yet I out rank her?

It's the gentleman thing to do!

BelsFitnessJourney

Love it! :P

happysummerrunner

I think when people react this way it could be more about them than about you. Maybe she's feeling guilty for her own eating choices which makes her defensive so she she criticizes your choices. Or maybe she was just mad you weren't eating the food she paid for. Or maybe she's actually worried you're developing an eating disorder because she doesn't understand eating disorders vs. healthy lifestyle changes.

Anyway, trying to understand the other person's thought process sometimes helps calm me down.

If she's actually concerned- showing her your food log and explaining how you're losing weight at a healthy rate, etc. could help.
If she's just feeling guilty and acting defensively then that's her negative choice.:ohwell: Hope you can work things out.

Nerdycurls

So my mother just informed me that they are having Chinese take out for dinner and since I just had Red Robin for lunch (and was hoping to have a semi healthy, filling, yet not completely bulky meal for dinner) I told her I was planning on having yogurt, granola and a ton of fruit for dinner. She replied, "Oh, so you're starving yourself?" I said, "No! I'm not starving myself! I ate a lot of food today and since I'm still full, I don't feel like eating a bulky dinner." She proceeded to run outside and yell to my neighbors (there were 5+ of them outside,) "She is starving herself tonight!"

I'm not really embarrassed or anything like that because I know that I am not starving myself by choosing this meal. I have been craving yogurt, granola and fruit for a while now and I am not in the mood for a bulky meal so I am mainly eating just to eat haha.

I am a bit mad about this, though. This isn't the first time she's criticized my eating choices. It seems if I am not eating the junk food she wants me to eat, I am not eating "correctly" to her.

What can I say to her? I've tried, "I'm doing this for my health, please support me." and it obviously doesn't help.

Anyone been through something like this before?

People are uncomfortable with change. It scares the bejeebus out of them! I'd ignore her. What she did was nuts but others have been there before. At another site I read about how one woman's mom cussed her out endlessly when the poster asked her mom for the recipe of a food. She asked for the recipe so she'd know how many calories were in it along with the serving size, and her mom went off saying "what kind of #$%^ing diet is this #*&@ing !@#$*&&%" it was THAT bad.

If you were starving yourself, would you even be eating? Nope. Instead you're eating protein-rich food and are going to do it in sight. It's not like you are being secretive. She's just uncomfortable, and I wouldn't give it more attention than warranted.

rduhlir

Move out?

meritage4

Ask your mom why she wants you to stay fat?

Meanwhile just keep doing what you are-It's working for you!

meshashesha2012

you're an adult and dont have to justify your food choices to anyone.

why not just respond with an "OK" and go about your business? eventually people stop trying to get a rise out of you if you dont comply

LiftAllThePizzas

So my mother just informed me that they are having Chinese take out for dinner and since I just had Red Robin for lunch (and was hoping to have a semi healthy, filling, yet not completely bulky meal for dinner) I told her I was planning on having yogurt, granola and a ton of fruit for dinner. She replied, "Oh, so you're starving yourself?" I said, "No! I'm not starving myself! I ate a lot of food today and since I'm still full, I don't feel like eating a bulky dinner." She proceeded to run outside and yell to my neighbors (there were 5+ of them outside,) "She is starving herself tonight!"

I'm not really embarrassed or anything like that because I know that I am not starving myself by choosing this meal. I have been craving yogurt, granola and fruit for a while now and I am not in the mood for a bulky meal so I am mainly eating just to eat haha.

I am a bit mad about this, though. This isn't the first time she's criticized my eating choices. It seems if I am not eating the junk food she wants me to eat, I am not eating "correctly" to her.

What can I say to her? I've tried, "I'm doing this for my health, please support me." and it obviously doesn't help.

Anyone been through something like this before?

Since you're on MFP I assume you're an adult.

As such you do not have to answer to anyone else. Stop explaining/debating/arguing with her. The end.

magerum

So my mother just informed me that they are having Chinese take out for dinner and since I just had Red Robin for lunch (and was hoping to have a semi healthy, filling, yet not completely bulky meal for dinner) I told her I was planning on having yogurt, granola and a ton of fruit for dinner. She replied, "Oh, so you're starving yourself?" I said, "No! I'm not starving myself! I ate a lot of food today and since I'm still full, I don't feel like eating a bulky dinner." She proceeded to run outside and yell to my neighbors (there were 5+ of them outside,) "She is starving herself tonight!"

I'm not really embarrassed or anything like that because I know that I am not starving myself by choosing this meal. I have been craving yogurt, granola and fruit for a while now and I am not in the mood for a bulky meal so I am mainly eating just to eat haha.

I am a bit mad about this, though. This isn't the first time she's criticized my eating choices. It seems if I am not eating the junk food she wants me to eat, I am not eating "correctly" to her.

What can I say to her? I've tried, "I'm doing this for my health, please support me." and it obviously doesn't help.

Anyone been through something like this before?

Since you're on MFP I assume you're an adult.

As such you do not have to answer to anyone else. Stop explaining/debating/arguing with her. The end.

Beat me to it. You could move out.

David_AUS

Some battles are destined to fail you cannot win this with force or a degree of diplomacy. I get that you mother is worried about you, I don't think educating her is going to solve anything as she will say OMG is that all you had to eat - you are starving yourself!

Keep doing what you know is right - compromise where you choose to For eg. For the Chinese meal you could have steamed vegetables and skip the fried noodles etc.... these will help with the family thing and is not heavy calories.

One thing we have going on at home now is shared diary events (thanks Google!) with the family - now this does go both ways if you mum wants to plan a family "take-out or eat in" dinner that varies from the norm then she can put it in the shared diary a day or so ahead - so you can plan ahead for meals (at least a little). It also helps with the "I never know where you are anymore if you are safe"...etc.... You don't need to share all the details in return but you may need to be prepared to share some details "out a the XYZ club with friends".. maybe something that may help for your situation? That way she won't be offended if you are out "with friends" etc..... as you have already planned thee events ahead. For eg. We put in when we will be at the gym so the tribe at home can co-ordinate cooking dinner when we won't be home. Adding details like "We will work out our own dinner" or "put aside a couple of portions for us later".

dickrocketjones

Drink a ****load of Jim Beam. Go out and drag her *kitten* around the front yard by her hair. Then call her a slut and punch her a few times. Then when the cops come say "that ***** started it". And then pass out. Just saying that's how we handle family bidness in Texas.