Husband eats what he wants/ I'm trying to lose weight

Lil_Northern_Light

I agree; everything is about choice. I'm trying to live a positive healthy lifestyle, my hubby does his own thing I don't sweat over it. I've given up on some certain foods before him, and still limit what I take in. I've given up alcohol and that's the one things he still tries to peer pressure me on, but I'm holding my ground and he's excepting that.
Don't let others around you effect your choice, your taste, your goal! And Don't beat yourself up if a little slip slides through, just aim again and continue....
It took practice for Robin Hood to hit the bullseye

michellewelch2010

Although we go through life alongside our spouses... We don't need to want the same things 100% of the time. Your weight loss journey is your own and you have to work through what motivates you to stay on track. This motivation shouldn't be coming from your spouse, it should be coming from you. His support can be telling you you look smoking hot as you continue to lose weight. Or giving you space to do your workouts.

I buy my husband cookies, ice cream and chips because he shouldn't have to live without them because I am watching what I eat. On top of these "treats" I force feed him protein smoothies and snacks so that he does not lose weight because he has different caloric needs than me. He is 6'2 and 150 lbs... he needs to eat way more than me, bottom line. I make dinner for both of us and modify mine to a lower carb option... I'll make myself spaghetti with spaghetti squash while making him regular spaghetti with garlic bread and ceasar salad. Oh well, this is the lifestyle I chose because I know my little body can't overeat.

Try to find some of your own treats that you can eat so you stop condemning him for eating. Get an acti-fryer and make yourself some sweet potato chips. Make meringue cookies with stevia. Nibble on some dark chocolate. If you are restricting yourself too much you won't be able to sustain this lifestyle.

SonicDeathMonkey80

Since when does eating what you want equate to being unsupportive?

Am I in bizarro land, or should I feel guilty because I run almost every day and eat like a pig?

This is a great point.

I do a lot of running, in addition to triathlons, so I eat lots of carbs according to the distances I run. My husband avoids carb, eating a low carb diet. Does make me insensitive and unsupportive? Nope! It just means I'm doing what's right for my health and body. Does it mean I'm sabotaging him when I bring home a loaf of bread? Nope! Just making my dinner!

Your sense of personal accountability is not welcome here so please alt+⇐

lisag2007

My husband eats whatever he wants too. I have asked him, though....if I am on the treadmill, please don't sit and eat a bowl of cookies and ice cream where I can see you. That doesn't help. He is all for going for a walk or bike ride whenever I want to go though, so that helps too. I don't give up anything....just measure it out and it is ok to have a cheat meal sometimes. It keeps you on track. Good luck and friend me if you would like.

jlynnm70

I get it - my husband is 5'11" and about 150# - he tries to be supportive, but sometimes without thinking he suddenly gets a sweet tooth or wants to go out for ice cream and actually says 'lets go' forgetting that I shouldn't have it.

He is really good about meals - and we can adjust and eat as a family (and my kids are little skinny minis too - thanks daddy!) So sometimes its hard when he wants to go out for a treat - or something. I've told him to try to get it out of his system at lunch when I'm not around - but that doesn't always work either.

I try to be EXTRA careful at breakfast and lunch when he isn't around, so that I can have some small stuff or make a crazier dinner when he and the kids are around.

jofjltncb6

I get it - my husband is 5'11" and about 150# - he tries to be supportive, but sometimes without thinking he suddenly gets a sweet tooth or wants to go out for ice cream and actually says 'lets go' forgetting that I shouldn't have it.

He is really good about meals - and we can adjust and eat as a family (and my kids are little skinny minis too - thanks daddy!) So sometimes its hard when he wants to go out for a treat - or something. I've told him to try to get it out of his system at lunch when I'm not around - but that doesn't always work either.

I try to be EXTRA careful at breakfast and lunch when he isn't around, so that I can have some small stuff or make a crazier dinner when he and the kids are around.

I'm curious if you understand what he has done where he now finds himself at 150#.

(Not picking on you personally...but I suspect at least a few people in this thread won't actually know the answer to this.)

wheird

I also eat what I want whenever possible.

Fit4_Life

I will fix my husband whatever he wants. I don't have to eat when he's eating. I have a goal to achieve and make myself healthy. This is ALL ABOUT ME! It's all about control. You can do this....IF...you want to be healthy and feel good about yourself.

Zayzaysmom

I'm definitely doing it for myself... he could care less if i stayed the same or if i weighed more... when we met i weighed much more.

Zayzaysmom

@Jtick - I'm not saying that he has to watch everything he eats but i'm saying it would be helpful if he were considerate of the things he brought into the house knowing that i'm trying and he could also stand to lose a few lbs

Francl27

Same thing here but, well, I just have to suck it up. Heck most nights I give my kids dessert too... couple cookies... some ice cream... and I can't have any because I'm way out of calories by then. It's pretty much all about willpower.

The thing to keep in mind is that you can't expect him to forever stop buying what he likes. This isn't a 'don't buy anything until I lose the weight thing', because you'll be in the same position once you've lost the weight too... You can't magically go back to eating everything you want once you're at your goal weight. So you can't really expect your husband never to buy what he likes again (or your kid - wait until he's older and you have to have snacks in the house!).

Temptations will always be everywhere... you just have to learn to say no... and moderation. I get it though, it would be much easier if we could not have temptations in the house, but it's too much to ask to change everyone else's habits just because we want to lose weight.

deksgrl

You have to just learn to resist those things you don't think you can eat, or leave yourself some room in your calorie goals for the day to have a small amount. (for most people, by not restricting everything severely, you can more easily stick to a sustainable plan). My bf is not currently on a diet. He has all sorts of stuff in the house in the way of snacks. It is my choice to eat them or not. If I want whatever snack, I budget into my calories for the day. I generally keep my favorite ice cream at his house, and that is my choice of snack that I usually fit in my day. I can pass on his chips and cookies and brownies and donuts and whatever else, because I have decided to. I like ice cream better. It isn't my place to tell him he can't have those things or he should be more considerate of me and avoid having them himself.

Self control, portion size, personal responsibility. If we go out to eat, it isn't his fault if I don't choose wisely. I'm a free person and I choose freely, he isn't making me do anything I don't actually want to do. If I go overboard, I log it, and I move on, I accept that I was the one who chose to do it, nobody shoved the stuff down my throat.

Zayzaysmom

To all of those who said that it's within me... i already know that. However it's helpful to have a support system even if that means cheering me on or going for a walk or working out w/ me or don't offer me the chips when you know i shouldn't be eating it. I know i can't restrict someone else just because i need to lose weight and i'm not trying to do that. There are lots of ways to support someone... In saying that by me creating this thread... i was looking for support here and i see that only a few of you were actually willing to do that ... so thanks to those few!

jlynnm70

I get it - my husband is 5'11" and about 150# - he tries to be supportive, but sometimes without thinking he suddenly gets a sweet tooth or wants to go out for ice cream and actually says 'lets go' forgetting that I shouldn't have it.

He is really good about meals - and we can adjust and eat as a family (and my kids are little skinny minis too - thanks daddy!) So sometimes its hard when he wants to go out for a treat - or something. I've told him to try to get it out of his system at lunch when I'm not around - but that doesn't always work either.

I try to be EXTRA careful at breakfast and lunch when he isn't around, so that I can have some small stuff or make a crazier dinner when he and the kids are around.

I'm curious if you understand what he has done where he now finds himself at 150#.

(Not picking on you personally...but I suspect at least a few people in this thread won't actually know the answer to this.)

Ok - not sure I totally understand the question -how come he only weighs 150#? - he has a naturally high metabolism and physical job - when I met him 12 years ago - he was severely underweight at about 130# - as he has gotten older he has gained - but is still extremely thin and fit - no outside exercise - and just doesn't eat a lot, actually some days he eats very little. He has never had a need to lose weight - more likely needs to gain.

Why can't I do that??? Well if I had his metabolism I could - mine is naturally slower than his - he burns more in his sleep than I do exercising - I swear it! I have a low resting heart rate and blood pressure. Pulse around 60 and bp of 90-60 -

If that isn't the question - let me know - I'll still answer it.

deksgrl

To all of those who said that it's within me... i already know that. However it's helpful to have a support system even if that means cheering me on or going for a walk or working out w/ me or don't offer me the chips when you know i shouldn't be eating it. I know i can't restrict someone else just because i need to lose weight and i'm not trying to do that. There are lots of ways to support someone... In saying that by me creating this thread... i was looking for support here and i see that only a few of you were actually willing to do that ... so thanks to those few!

Support comes in different forms. Developing the strength to resist is a very valuable tool. My bf supports my goal, he is always complimenting my progress and encourages me in my fitness goals. It isn't unsupportive if he offers me things that I decide whether I should eat or not. When he offers me something I don't think I should have, I just say "no thanks, I don't have room in my calories for that today".

jofjltncb6

I get it - my husband is 5'11" and about 150# - he tries to be supportive, but sometimes without thinking he suddenly gets a sweet tooth or wants to go out for ice cream and actually says 'lets go' forgetting that I shouldn't have it.

He is really good about meals - and we can adjust and eat as a family (and my kids are little skinny minis too - thanks daddy!) So sometimes its hard when he wants to go out for a treat - or something. I've told him to try to get it out of his system at lunch when I'm not around - but that doesn't always work either.

I try to be EXTRA careful at breakfast and lunch when he isn't around, so that I can have some small stuff or make a crazier dinner when he and the kids are around.

I'm curious if you understand what he has done where he now finds himself at 150#.

(Not picking on you personally...but I suspect at least a few people in this thread won't actually know the answer to this.)

Ok - not sure I totally understand the question -how come he only weighs 150#? - he has a naturally high metabolism and physical job - when I met him 12 years ago - he was severely underweight at about 130# - as he has gotten older he has gained - but is still extremely thin and fit - no outside exercise - and just doesn't eat a lot, actually some days he eats very little. He has never had a need to lose weight - more likely needs to gain.

If that isn't the question - let me know - I'll still answer it.

I think you got to the answer I was looking for. He isn't overweight (or is underweight, depending on how you look at it) because he eats enough calories to support his activity level/weight. He doesn't need to try to eat less now to compensate for having eaten too much previously. (I'm not sure how you would know that he has a "naturally high metabolism" though as it would seem that his activity during the day would completely confound any visibility into that...but I'm still giving you full credit for the overall answer nonetheless. =P )

Many times, it would seem that there are people on MFP who seem to think that their spouses are "doing it wrong" (however it is they're doing it) when they are the ones who are not currently dealing with a weight problem...because they are eating an appropriate amount to support their activity level and are not having to compensate now for having the equation messed up previously.

I'm currently cutting and am at a calorie level that prevents me from eating as much of (or sometimes, any of) the food I would like to eat...and my family is not, so there is a slight disparity in our current approach to food, but that's the result of my decision to restrict calories and has nothing to do with them. (I still fix bacon and eggs and pancakes and pasta and etc., I just simply eat less of it than I wish I could.)

JTick

@Jtick - I'm not saying that he has to watch everything he eats but i'm saying it would be helpful if he were considerate of the things he brought into the house knowing that i'm trying and he could also stand to lose a few lbs

Believe me, I'm not saying I don't get it. I'm still at home with my parents while I get through the rest of my college classes, and my dad is quite heavy and eats without thinking of consequences. I totally understand that it can be hard, but you just have to learn to deal with it. You just have to. If my dad isn't ready to lose weight, that's his problem. I am though, so now it's up to me to actually do it. I've never once even considered asking him to not buy the things he eats...because it's his body, his business, and I don't have to eat it.

revans558

Hey,
I had this problem and tried so many things. Different things work for different people and I was lucky enough to find one that worked for me. I lost 18 pounds in one month without much exercise and it's been a life changer.

I'm a little embarrased to post my before and after photos here but if anyone actually cares to hear what I've been doing then I'd be happy to help in any way.

TwirleySlims

You really have to want to do this for yourself, you say he is eating what he wants but that doesn't mean he doesn't support you. Do this for you! and we are all here to support each other! How can you be alone on MFP!

sillyvalentine

You can't expect him to get on board with it just because you are doing it.

My husband eats what he wants too, and sometimes that includes take-out/fast food which I despise, even before the diet. I am also the cook, so I have to make him all the same foods that made me fat.

But that doesn't mean he doesn't support me. He just isn't in the same boat as me and he shouldn't have to suffer my health foods just because I decided to change my ways.

We keep a plethora of "bad" foods and trigger foods (candy, chips, sweets) in the house because he wants them. It took me a long time to realize that I had the will power to say no to them. Now I can live in peace with these treat foods, I even treat myself to them sometimes.

For me, it all comes down to willpower. Do I want it bad enough? The answer is YES! That, and I remind myself that this low calorie lifestyle doesn't have to be forever. I just need to lose the extra weight, find my maintenance calories and everything will be fine!