Can't stop bingeing and hate myself :(

Lesa_Sass

Contact the following:

http://eating-disorders.org.uk/

And they should be able to help.

If you want to try and deal with the issue yourself then "Brain Over Binge" by Kathryn Hansen or other self help books along those lines will help.

(edited: as saw you are in the UK rather than the US)

This, very much this!

lamps1303

I'm so sorry you're stuck in such a rut. Someone very close to me is on anti-depressants so I know how hard it can be.

Have you ever thought about what triggers your binges? Is it a life event or certain situations, for example, when you get stressed or anxious?? If you can work out the triggers you can take steps to either avoid those situations, or find alternative coping mechanisms. For example, if stress makes you eat, rather than reach for the fridge, put on some of your favourite music and go for a walk to clear your mind and remove yourself from the situation. Also, have a think about you feel after your binges, like you feel now, and ask yourself if it's really worth it. You seem to be in a viscious cycle where you binge, get more depressed, which causes you to binge more.

It may be nothing to do with above, and may be more to do with your diet. Do you allow yourself 'treats'? Maybe a day where you don't log or go to your favourite restaurant, or eat that slice of cake you've been craving? You may be depriving your body and you get to the point where you can't take it anymore and binge on everything and anything.

Take some time out for yourself and think about it. You obviously want to change, hence why you posted on here, it's just taking that step. Do you have any friends or relatives that are also trying to lose weight? Having a good support network around you will help massively.

Good luck and I hope you come to a good conclusion :flowerforyou:

TheBrolympus

Keep it simple at first. Do one thing. Just log your food. That's all.

Counting calories is just about being honest with yourself. Knowing what you're putting into your body. It's a tool.

So for right now don't worry about what you're eating, making big changes, anything. Just log it. It's for you, so you know what you're doing to your body. Once you see what you're eating you'll feel ready to start making changes all on your own. You'll have motivation and you'll want to make better choices for yourself.

So for right now, just log your food. One step will naturally lead to another. You just have to take that first, serious step.

:flowerforyou:

^^^^ This. When I long my binges it will slow me down and sometimes even stop me before I get to far.

livelaughlove384

I too suffer from binge eating. I am starting to grasp saying no but I am still struggling. I received a huge sense of power when I was reading "Brain Over Binge", I have been side tracked with school recently and haven't been able to pick the book back up. I suggest reading this book it has awesome reviews from people who suffer from eating disorders (which binge eating is considered). Seriously pick up the book!

Do not hate yourself, like a fellow member said, being a binge eater is an addiction to food. We all have something we struggle with, you are not alone in this. Fell free to add me and I would be happy to offer support!

mamadon

It is such an addiction for some of us. When I binge eat, (and I still struggle with it) it fills a hole inside, kind of like scratching an itch. Another poster said you needed to try and stop hating yourself and that is so true. It can become a viscious cycle. A lot of us will binge because of self loathing. It has really helped me to realize that if I do slip up, its not the end of the world. I just carry on. If I slip up, and then give up, thats where the real problems starts.

EtainS

Don't give up! Find something physical that you can do when you hit that wall, like a quick walk or a short yoga routine. Builds endorphines to help your mood and changes the direction that your brain is going. I've been on antidepresants for about 18 years, but the real difference in my moods happens when I get some exercise. Hang in there!:flowerforyou:

snowflake954

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter! Now for you. I looked at you diary and, as someone has mentioned, perhaps your calories are too low. With all you've got on your plate (forgive the pun), Losing .5 lbs a week would be a challenge. It's important that you don't slide backward--go slower. You might find it easier to control your hunger. This will be a long term thing. Then, and this will probably be hard--find time to exercise. Join a group if you can, even dancing, any movement is better than none. I suggest a group because usually friends will give you support. Please don't feel bad about this since we've all needed it at some point. If you can exercise it will be easier to meet your calorie goals. Then drink alot of water and try to get your rest. Best wishes and remember you're doing this for your family too--I hope they'll be supportive.

trophywife24

I suggest seeing a therapist as well. You need to figure out WHY you're binging or you're never going to stop. Food is not just food to people who binge or have food additions. You need to dig deep and figure out what your food really is to you and your brain.

MinMin97

I keep trying to keep up with myfitness pal and I had lost just over 9lb but then something happens and I start bingeing and then I have triouble stopping I really hate the way I look and am and yet even that doesn't inspire me to carry on

I went to the docs and said I had a problem with food and wish something drastic would happen to force me to change my eating habits like getting a life threatening disease (please don't hate me for thinking like this I was jus so desperate) but he just offered to up my anti-depressants

I keep reading about people who have lost a lot of weight and wish I could do the same but I just don't seem to be able to - I guess I'm lazy.???

Can anyone please HELP as I just can't seem to help myself and even when I turn to the professionals they just don't seem bothered

I've got three beautiful children and a loving husband and so want to get back to being fit and healthy and looking better for it but something inside just won't seem to let me

You go from one extreme to the other mentally. It comes out in what you say:
"I hate my condition, but even that doesn't make me want to change"

"I want to be healthy, but need a fatal disease in order to make a change."

"I am different than anyone who has lost weight.....I can't lose weight."

"Losing weight takes effort, but I am lazy."

"Even professional help doesn't work."

Today, make progress. NO EXCUSES ALLOWED TODAY. Do this: Log your food. Drink water and log it. Do some form of exercise, anything. Log it.
You have to start somewhere and then make progress from there.

GlitterrMagpie

I know the last thing you want to do when you're depressed is exercise but after I started regularly I found my depression and anxiety both lessened. Start with walking or if your kids have any of those computer dance games they can be fun and great for getting your heart rate up. Don't restrict too much, make sure you eat enough that you feel full and don't feel deprived of your favourite foods, set your calories to a 1 pound or half a pound a week loss. You can do it, and you are worth the effort x

sheltony

I can SO relate to your desire to stop and lack of ability to do it. Sometimes, the siren song of food is incredibly strong and you can be eating and telling yourself all the right things, but nothing stops it. I started going to OA (overeaters anonymous) last year and it made all the difference in my life. Something causes you to "use" food. It's different for each person, but coming together with others who struggle and sharing those difficulties is a form of healing. The steps guide us to deeper understandings about ourselves and our place in this wonderful world. Gradually, I've been able to lose weight (steady, not fast by any means). But more important to me now is the sense of serenity about living that has come from following the steps each day. You could try it out and see if it works for you. If it does, your life will change in a positive way. Whatever you do, be sure to get help because there's no one else like you and no one deserves hate. Loving your human imperfect self is what will get you to a better place and it will translate to your relationship with food. Wishing you the best! You're worth it.

kellymac518

find a therapist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy or one who can help with your relationship with food... they may be able to help you change the way you use food as a crutch. sound's like you were just talking to your prescriber about your problems instead of a therapist.

specky4eyes

Wow thanks to you all so so much for your replies - I feel overwhelmed by the time you have all taken and so many kind words. I've only just had the chance to read through all the replies and thanks to all,of you who have invited me to be friends.
I thought I would just explain a bit more about my situation as it does make a huge difference to how my life has changed and, whilst I know I am still making excuses, some of them are genuine I promise!!

Firstly I have been on anti-depressants for years and I've had various bouts of counselling of differing types including CBT and unfortunately for me I just seem to come full circle so many times and nothing really changes. My GP (a different one from the surgery) did say I'd I've had counselling several times it would be pointless to go again.

Ok so I know exercise is key - I used to be a gym junkie. I now do not work due to the birth of my daughter and neither do I want to but this does mean that money is tight and I feel I cannot justify paying for gym memberships,etc. I do try to go for an hour's walk once a week with two of my friends who also want to lose weight. I would love to walk more but I live in a remote area and would never see anyone if I didn't go out with my daughter to baby group or to see my friends. I do think I am lonely and, whilst I love my daughter dearly, I do miss adult company.

I SHOULD go out more with the buggy I know. I cannot go out once my son comes home from school or at the weekends if my hubby is working as my son does not like being outside and hates any exercise as he has Asperger's Syndrome and has very poor gross motor skills. My son also has issues with food and drink and, unfortunately and despite my best efforts to wean/raise him on good wholesome healthy food, he will eat mainly processed food but does like my cakes - since not working I have enjoyed baking.

I do think my son's condition does play a part in my binge attacks as he is often very rude to me, is very testing in his behaviour which can include being physically violent towards me.


I cannot exercise other than walking as I have a bad back (and hip at the mo) and I hate swimming and fall off a bike. Also I' e and to have surgery for women's things and I've still got problems which has had an impact on my self-esteem and also exercise issues . OMG I really am useless aren't I? I cannot exercise at home unless the baby is in bed and then I try to catch up with housework etc. Even typing this Imfealise I am the queen of excuses.

I know a lot of you have said about my calorie level. That is set by MFP for my height, weight and with the intention of losing a pound a week as I wanted to do things slowly. I think the fact that I have lost 3 - 4 pounds some weeks just shows how much I eat on a "typical" day for me.

I did buy a book about binge eating but it was totally uninspiring so I'll look at the book so e of you have recommended. I did have a look at a group for binge eaters but there are none in my area . I have also read quite a lot online. The thing is I am not stupid - I
just can't seem to get my brain to practice what I know I should do.

Tomorrow is weigh day and I'm sure I will have put on again but I'll try to use it as a fresh start and try to stick to it.

Thanks again to you all x

TheVattz

It might not be a matter of laziness.
If you clearly have depression, it is very difficult to stick to good habits, or any habits that take effort for that matter.

I too suffer from depression. So just getting up in the morning can be challenging, on top of that it's often accompanied by really negative thinking. "I'm so fat," "I'm never going to lose the weight," "Nothing is ever going to get done," "I'm a failure." It goes on and on.

However, if you're on antidepressants, at the very least you have a chance. Another possibility might be that you aren't on the correct dose or even meds. It takes a long time to figure out just the right combination. Also, when you said that your son's behavior is contributing to your binging, you pretty much hit the nail on the head. Often times, stress and a negative atmosphere makes us binge. I have the same problem. I stress eat.

Sometimes you just have to say to yourself "I don't really want to eat this much, it's the stress causing the hunger. I am better than this." Or something like that, just something that helps you remind yourself that this binge-eater isn't you, it's the stress, depression or even possibly a food addiction (not a laughing matter.) It's really hard and takes a lot of nerve, but this is how your body responds and like any addict, staying away will be a challenge.

Though my situation isn't exactly the same as yours, I too have to deal with a difficult person sometimes daily. It's not as bad as what you have to go through, but has its own difficulties. So I share some of your pain.

The other thing to keep in mind is KEEP BUSY. It's important. Clean, work-out, play games, read, write, draw...doesn't matter. Any activity that keeps the cravings away. Make no mistake, when you've lived like this for so long, the craving for food is incredibly strong. It's like all those zombie movies where they just can't stop themselves. But strive towards something. If you enjoy cooking, figure out ways to cook delicious meals that are both nutritious and relatively low in calories/carbs/etc. It's probably stuff you've heard before, though.

I've heard people tell me "just eat less" or "just work out more" which is great if you're a regular person who's always been at normal weight and doesn't have depression. But if you're me, who's been overweight almost his whole life, it's just not as simple and it takes a hell of a lot of work. I have problems with diet, and not as much with exercise I usually work out 3-4 times a week. But being overweight makes it hard to work out, did ya know that? It does. my goal is to hit the gym 6 days a week, only done that once. So it's a vicious circle that can only end in two ways; you either lose the weight and live healthy, or die from obesity-related complications.

We're here for ya, and most of us here have a good idea what you're going through. Stay strong, stay positive and watch your stress levels. I'm not gonna lie, your situation will make it incredibly hard, but you CAN do this. Losing the weight is the hardest part. Once you drop it, you just have to monitor and maintain (keep a scale and weight yourself every week.)

Hope this was helpful. Be cool!

CelebrityStatus

I might get flamed by some for this ... I didn't read everyone else's advice.

Don't worry about how much you are eating right now. But LOG it. Weigh it and log it. If you ate 5000 calories, that's okay, because you logged it and MADE yourself accountable. Once you log it for a little bit, see what times of day you eat the most/what you eat at that time, and really look at WHY you're eating then? Do you feel sad then? Why? Do you feel stressed? Why?

Losing weight is as simple as calories in vs calories out, from a physical perspective. But it is anything but easy from a mental perspective. You have to look inside of yourself and find out why you're eating what at the times that you do.

You sound like you are coming from a place of depression (please don't take offense to that, I suffer from depression myself and you sound a lot like me at times) and the world can seem like a crushing place. You have a job, a family, responsibilities, and probably little time for yourself. Sit down with your husband and figure out a time each day that is dedicated to YOU. Maybe he takes the kids to the park at that time, or entertains them with a book or game or something. It's a time where you can go for a walk, clear your head, write down your feelings. Anything that is centered around doing something for YOURSELF.

Once you are logging your food and having your "you" time... begin to cut back slowly. Take out that extra couple cookies, take out the extra helping of dinner. If you feel like you need to eat something, snack on veggies. Use your you time to do some sort of physical activity, or half activity/half relaxation.

Get your family involved. Swap out the kids sugary granola bars for apple slices, take the family for a walk every night, go shopping just to walk around the mall and window shop (depending on how young your kids are this might not be a very relaxing or fun activity lol)

Losing weight and stopping the binge is a process where you have to be dedicated to finding yourself. It's not easy. But it can be done! And this is the absolute best place to be reminded of that and to find support from the thousands of members who are willing to help

MinMin97

When I started trying to get fitter, healthier, etc...I had to fix everything about myself.
I got rid of stresses and stressful people (the unnecessary ones).
I dealt with issues in my home and my relationships.
I changed my habits and patterns.
It's not all about the food. Of course you know that.
Just keep making progress!

PcchioRun

:< All you have to do is go "Well binge-ing was in the past and tomorrow I WILL start anew!" - the moving forward attitude.

That's what I do when I binge-eat.

You could write up little notes and say what you have to stick to and eat up to And log on here regularly to check up to calories count!

mch2829

I know this will be unpopular, but I stopped eating for a few days to show myself that food didn't control me. It was very hard for the first 2 days...then I did it for a couple more. Now I'm fasting every other day and eating what I want every other day. For some reason, after fasting for several days..my appetite has went down drastically. I no longer feel the impulse to eat everything in sight.

I have tried working with doctors and dietitians...and all of that is great if it works for you. It didn't help me. I still struggled every day with minimal results..and eventually couldn't sustain it. I did tell my doctor what I'm doing and he suggested that I take a multivitamin and make sure I'm getting potassium and other nutrients on the days that I eat.

I know that a lot of people worry about your metabolism crashing and they think you should eat 1200+ calories a day to live...and it's simply not true. Research shows that metabolism decreasing on a calorie restricted diet is minimal and shouldn't affect your weight loss. Also keep in mind that people who have bariatric surgery only eat 300 calories a day for the first several months.

levicrouch

Didn't read the other posts. But, whenever i feel i can't do anything right or doomed to be unsuccessful in whatever. I watch this video:

http://www.wimp.com/rulessuccess/

And keep working at it.

edwardkim85

take it one step at a time. take one binge group out at a time and replace it with veggies or fruit.

then two

then three

then four

eventually you'll just binge on fruits and veggies