I need some help here. Anybody?

amethyst70

I am not crying in front of my kids. They are already off to school.

I am not perfect but I also don't do a lot of things that have been suggested, such as make comments to my kids, or talk or obsess about my weight in front of them.

Sometimes things just roll down to the bottom of the hill, and that is where I am at. I am discouraged at this point in my journey and having a really low morning.

I asked for responses. I have got them. I will start tracking my food and open it for all. I really just put myself out there to let you all know where I was coming from this morning, and I really do appreciate ALL responses although some really don't apply here.

I am really frustrated at this point but I will just dig in my heels and keep trying. Eventually the benefits will show. There really is nothing a good cry and some good cyber hugs can't help cure. Thanks all!

SusanL222

Dear OP,

The answer to your question is yes, of course, others have days when they feel overwhelmed by life. I believe that you are doing the very best that you can. Wanting the best for our children can feel like a huge responsibility. I think the advice in first response you received is very good and one that could maybe lighten the load for everyone in the family.

As far as your desire to firm up and show some progress for all your hard work in your home gym, there are several groups on MFP that could help. Some groups specifically addressing weight training, hypothyroidism, PCOS, etc. Explore on your own or ask for links.

I think it's great that you were willing to bare your soul and ask for help. I do not see your post as negative at all. We all at times need to vent our feelings. And just know it can be difficult to "hear" some of the feedback you may get, but know it is mostly coming from a compassionate and caring place. Best of luck to you on this journey! Hugs!! :flowerforyou:

MarKayDee

I'm going to tell you my thoughts on your children's actions, and I want you to know that I am in no way blaming you.
When I was young my mother (and aunts and grandmother) would constantly talk about how fat she was, about how she was going to try this or that to finally get the perfect body, even at a very young age it resonates with me. I wasn't a fat kid, just maybe a bit funnily proportioned, my mother was the size I am now, and to a small kid she was perfect. I remember being so aware of all of the women I loved thinking they needed to be thin to be pretty that I would restrict what I could eat for as long as a week as young as six. Your girls look up to you, and your youngestis going to emulate not just you, but your daughter. No one means for their kids to pick up thoughts like it seems yours have, but lucky for you it is also pretty easy to fix them by changing how you talk about yourself and your body with your kids. Your son may be being bullied, or afraid of failing on the scale like you have in your opinion, your 10 year old is still too young to understand how to be healthy and lose weight, she probably doesn't know why you are getting upset with her, take her to see a nutritionalist or a personal trainer at a gym who can explain that even when you aren't working out you burn calories.
Then do something special for yourself, lock up that damned scale and hide the key because it seems to be a trigger for both you and your family. Tell them you're switching your focus, from losing weight to getting healthy, and you want all of them to join you. Tell your four year old there is no such thing as a fat kid at her age, she's just getting ready to get taller, ask your son to be your lifting buddy, and have your ten year old help you plan and cook meals, a lot of the time that helps get kids interested in eating.

As for your husband losing more than you, it's been three weeks. Men lose easier than women, and if you've been pushing yourself too hard a lot of it can and will be water weight that you're seeing on the scale not actual fat. Don't let it get you down just because you haven't hit the ground running, take things slow and try and fix your negative view of your body, and help show your children that the most important thing is self love and health, cause take it from me, your kids want you to be happy with yourself no matter what even if you don't wear the "right" size jeans they need and love you.

Good luck sweetheart, you can do it.

EDIT: sorry, didn't see the bit where you said you didn't talk to your kids directly about your wanting to lose weight. It isn't necessarily the directness of the comments, or even fully discussing things like that with/in front of them that can be bad though. Simply putting a strong focus on it quietly can have the same affect.

wilsoje74

So seems my venting opened a complete different avenue of where I was going.

1. I don't tell my son he is overweight. I encourage healthy eating AND balance.

2. I do feel it is important to let my daughter know she isn't going to go try to lift weights at her age, or work out on the gazelle with no food in her system.

3. I don't sit around and talk about my body, my weight, or fitness in front of my children. What happens is they offer me something they have, like a snack, and I politely decline, and they get upset, so I just state I am not hungry or that my body doesn't handle that particular snack well. Such as an orange, or cereal. Any amount of carbs puts me under the table.

4. My kids are all involved in recreational sports and we talk a lot about just overall health.

I don't mean to come across as defensive in anyway. I don't have a diary done, and haven't tracked my intake as of yet. Going to buy a scale this weekend.

For the most part I stay under 20 carbs a day and usually try to stick to 10 or under. No Dr has been able to tell me why, but if I eat carbs, I can't keep my eyes open. I do not have diabetes. I am insulin resistant. My endo swears that I should be able to eat a complex carb and not have problems. If I eat a 1/2 cup of oatmeal, or a slice of whole wheat bread, 30 min later I am so tired I can't keep my eyes open and have been known to fall asleep sitting up.

I suppose it could be a unique case. It is difficult for me to find things to eat without this problem which is why I tend to lean towards LC and Atkins.
For the most part I have been eating, chicken salad. (Baked chicken, celery and 2 tbs mayo)
egg salad. 2 boiled eggs chopped with 1 tbs mayo.
1 cup salad with 2 tbs ranch dressing.
an avocado.
green beans.

Coffee with heavy whipping cream and 1 tbs torani sugar free syrup.

Most days is a combination of these items.

Without any carbs I'm surprised you can stay awake, you should be losing weight but you need to track cals. Your kids get upset if you don't want a snack? That seems odd, my kids could care less what I eat.

kellykopp

Ok, first off, I love this post!! And the reason is, I started my journey on Jan 20th 2014. And about 3 weeks in I posted an almost identical thread!! Not so much about the kids, but about me busting my *kitten* working out with no results and how discouraged I was about it...

I was overwhelmed with the amazing support and motivation I got from this site! Everyone was so quick to tell me not to give up and giving me all sorts of advice. Before that post i had lost only 3-4lbs. Literately a day or 2 after, i was down 10! Now Im down 19lbs!

DO NOT GET DISCOURAGED!!!

The scale can be quite the jerk sometimes! And it may feel like you are working so hard and getting nowhere, but I PROMISE, you are getting somewhere!! Just keep going!! Eventually the scale will give in. Its a game, who is gonna win, the scale, or YOU!?

I started taking pictures of myself. And trust, that is no fun. I was 355 when I started so pics was not fun, but now because of the pictures, i keep comparing, and im seeing big changes!!! Let that be more of a motivator than the scale!!

You can so do it!!!

I have 3 kids as well, and Im constantly learning and failing, and learning... Kids is tough. I have a 13, 10 and 9 year old. And mine may not have the same issues as your kids, but they do have issues! All kids do, just keep being patient and loving and be diligent in training them in the right direction. As you better yourself, i know they will start seeing changes and that may be a big boost. I dont know... I just want you to know you are not alone, and You will make it through this!

THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!

Keep up the good work!!

ronah_t

I agree, you and your husband need to have a discussion about how and why you want to include fitness into your family lifestyle, but you also need to have a discussion, a deep, honest discussion with yourself. Ask yourself if your obsession with fitness and weight loss is healthy or is it sparked by media hype of what is the new "in" look for women. Take a look at yourself and see what it is you dont like about the image in the mirror, then look further into you and see what it is you do like. What others like about you and what your husband and kids like about you. Often we bring unhealthy thought patterns into our lives from places that are no longer serving us. We all had awkward teenage years, so if you were bullied or made fun of for yours, then its time you put them in their proper place, And that means you heal from the inside out by loving the parts of you that arent imperfect and accepting the parts that are imperfect.
Make fitness not so much about losing weight and being skinny, but moreso about being healthy and feeling good. Eating should be on purpose and you should start to form a relationship with your food. You do that by truly caring about what you eat and what you give your family. Start cooking healthy meals and making healthy snacks with your kids and husband so everyone can enjoy the relationship with food and learn that its purpose isnt to make us fat but to nuture us and help us be energized.
Take walks and do outdoor activities with your kids to help them learn to enjoy exercise as fun and not as an ends to weight. Remove those magazines with skinny girls on the cover and replace them with fitness, health, and hobby magazines. Reprogram the way you and your family feel about being healthy and it becomes a lifestyle change and not just about the number on the scale. And once you do this, once you begin to love yourself for who you are healthy. Your kids will start to see themselves diffrent too. And fitness will be a part of life but not the focus of your life.

Nireedk

Hey - you are in good company taking guidance from cushman5279 - she has had real success! I like her suggestion to start with yourself and let the others follow your lead - you can't live their lives for them, they have to make choices themselves and given your good example perhaps their choices will be good choices. I kind of started the same way cushman5279 did ... initially I cut out my dunkin donuts, my coke, and my beer!!!! I slowly added some beer back in after the first 3 months and recently added in an occasional donut ... both bad choices because I lost focus after the initial success and the holidays. You can do it! But you have to make a plan and stick to it. My initial success was also do do walking as my initial exercise. I didn't feel comfortable going to the gym or doing anything more than walking, but I started ... 20 min, 30 min, 35 min ... etc. eventually getting on a roll and doind 60+ min of hardcore fast walking. It works! With the winter, I joined a gym, but I am not as focused as I need to be so have had a long plateau. You have to stay at it to have it work. You CAN do it.