Teenagers and random room inspections

pawnstarNate

agree or disagree?

My motive for posting this is two parts. 1. curious of your thoughts and if you let them have their privacy. 2. It was funny to me and the wife made me swear I would keep it from other relatives so, I have to share it with someone.

We do a random room inspection from time to time for our teenage boy. Last night, I did one and under the mattress, I found some rather raunchy pages from a magazine and a little stack of coffee filters. lol I called him to his room and said "I know why the pages are there but, WTH(eck) are the coffee filters for?? Even though being a teenage boy once myself, I knew the answer. He must get his quick witted replies from me because he immediately said "Oragami's!" LMAO

Anywho.....do you do random inspections or let them have their privacy?

Sinisterly

Yeah... GL to my mother finding anything through the filth.
Kept it filthy to keep her out.

FemmeFatale83

I haven't done that, but I have seen everything in my daughter's room recently b/c she agreed to let me clean it and get rid of a bunch of stuff I felt was clutter. I think she's too clever to hide something serious from me in her room. I don't think I would go through it for any other reason, but who knows, maybe I would if I thought she was in danger or something like that

caroldavison332

I'm 53 and don't know what the coffee filters are for. Please explain.

AJinBirmingham

I don't think there's a right or wrong blanket answer here - it depends on the teenager.

tenathequeena

I don't go through my son's room. We have an open, trusting relationship.

hep26000

I don't but I would if I thought I had a reason to. She is only 10 so maybe in a couple years. I do however go through her phone on occasion. She only texts her parents, auntie, poppa and her best friend so all good there. (BTW- for those who judge- she walks to an after school club with some friends so her phone which is NOT a smart phone acts as my lifeline to her. She lets me know when she is there safe.

Sinisterly

I don't think there's a right or wrong blanket answer here - it depends on the teenager.

Or the controlling parent.

dakotababy

I don't think there's a right or wrong blanket answer here - it depends on the teenager.

agreed.

Of_Monsters_and_Meat

I'm 53 and don't know what the coffee filters are for. Please explain.

He is filtering the results...

1brokegal44

Mine get their privacy unless I think something is going on that's harmful. Rolled my daughter's room with damn good reason a few months back. Found things I didn't want to find...think self-harm/ED issues etc. Her issues are resolving, so I don't feel the need for a repeat inspection...besides a search party would have to be dispatched to find me in that mess.

rowlandsw

My room was a disaster so they'd do random cleanups and that's usually when stuff i had hidden got found lol. I'm a big supporter of random inspections even though i wasn't back then. Kids have way too much freedom these days so this is a good way to remind them that until they're 18 they don't get to do whatever they want.

1PatientBear

I'm 53 and don't know what the coffee filters are for. Please explain.

Either cleanup after teenager is done with the pictures or to avoid making too big a mess in the first place

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

My kids have their privacy until they have done something to lose that privilege. I knew someone who used to punish his teenagers when they did wrong by removing their bedroom doors. I've considered this, buthave never had occasion to use it.

Holly_Roman_Empire

My mom and dad went through my room on occasion. Hated them for it. Now that I'm an adult, I understand why they did it.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

donyellemoniquex3

Well as a teen my parents didn't necessarily go through my room, but they did go through my backpack a lot. I was depressed and borderline suicidal because losing my BEST FRIEND to cancer when she was 12 and I was 13, it was REALLY hard. Plus my mom was still recovering from her brain surgery and going through her psychotic stages also sent me to the edge.

navyrigger46

My kids aren't teenagers yet, so not sure how I'll address this subject when that happens, but I'd like to think I'll allow them their privacy so long as they don't give me reason not to trust them. My dad once removed my bedroom door entirely, and frankly, with good reason, though I protested severely at the time.

We'll see, I think it'll be highly situational.

Rigger

ccrdragon

I have an understanding with my kids - the wife and I pay for the roof over their heads and nothing in the house is off limits to me or their mother. I have never done a random room inspection but the possibility is and always will be there.

JoanneC1216

I know nothing about coffee filters. I would be curious.

As for snooping, I am all for it, you may be saving your child.

jUStPunkin

ba dum bump

(that was supposed to quote the "he's filtering results", but I don't know how to fix it now that I messed it up

>.<

RobsGirl_lds

As a child my room was always a mess. I let my mom clean it once and she said she would take any money she found as payment and that if she didn't like anything I had she would toss it. I lost $83 and 3 of my favorite shirts.

sewerchick93

My daughter never gave me a reason to need to do room inspections, we have always had an honest, open relationship.

data3567

I'm 53 and don't know what the coffee filters are for. Please explain.

He is filtering the results...

Now that's funny!

MizTerry

Only if I suspect something.
I occasionally would "clean their room" for them if their rooms were messy, and it gave me a chance to inspect.
They hated that.

pawnstarNate

Coffee filters are for making coffee right? That probably was pretty embarrassing for him. I'd probably search, but if I found something like that, I might just let it go. Drugs, weapons, etc. is a different story.

I just wanted to hear his quick explanation for the filters. Oragami's? lol

For others, he's had a few trusting issues over the past 6 months or so. No details and nothing like illegal but, enough to warrant a random inspection from time to time.

Kitship

My parents respected mine and my brother's privacy while we were living in their home.

That being said, we realized that they had every right to go through our rooms if they wanted to. We just never gave them a reason to do so.

I don't think I would want to ruin the relationship between myself and my child if they didn't even give me a reason to be suspicious.

OBXbound4me

I generally give privacy. My daughter is young (7) so that is not an issue anyway. My son however got it until about a year and a half ago. He is now 13 and has been caught with porn on his tablet SEVERAL times and many things in his room he had no business having. He does good most times but has now lost the privacy first mantra or the benefit of the doubt...

Dgydad

Has to be decided on a case-by-case basis, but the wife & I don't "toss" our son's room. We regularly remind him that we will enter his room whenever we deem it necessary (aquarium maintenance, dropping off laundry, etc.), but will not search the joint unless he does something to give us cause. So far, he's never done anything to justify invading his privacy.........................

Rosplosion

What is the point of this, to make your kids feel violated? No. This is a bad idea. It's only going to make them become more inclined to hide things from you. Better liars, better at hiding things from you to avoid embarrassment humiliation and shame.

The point I'm trying to make is you need to talk with your kids. If you make your home a safe environment where your children fell trusted it might work out better for you and them.

jamesalytle

OMG Coffee filters, that's original!