Do you separate meals for your kids?

shartran

Hi
I am a teacher (grade one) - no kids.
I am curious:
How many of you that have kids, create separate meals for you/your partner and then something different for your kids?

Some of my friends might say...." my kids won't eat what I prepare for dinner, and the only thing they'll eat is chicken nuggets and french fries...so that's what I give them."

I am under the philosophy of what I grew up with...this is what the family is eating tonight...period.

If it's 'crappy' food for you, then why the heck are parents continually feeding their precious family these things?? I don't get it... Who's is in charge here?? Kids will eat...eventually!

explorationerin

My son eats whatever ive cooked... I do make certain allowances for him, Ie i know he wont eat salad so i do something else as a side for him (normally roasted veg) and i also know he wont eat minced meat so no spag bol, cottage pie ect but if i make it into a burger/meatballs/meatloaf ect he will eat it so thats basically what i do.

He eats all the veg i give him, and replacing chips with roasted parsnips went down a treat and we now call them special chips....

_Terrapin_

First world potential issue, but, children have two times the number of taste buds then adults. True story. Pre-teen kiddos typically do not like vegetables due to their bitter taste so you may or may not create an issue 'forcing' foods on to kiddos. But, IMHO at the casa we provide them different options with meals. If I am making salmon though I'm the only one eating it. As for your 'precious family' and crappy foods, well, once you do have children and the time constraints of day-to-day living increase, your view may change, then again opinions vary.

rockmama72

I have three kids (16, 15, almost 5) and I don't make separate meals. I never gave them the opportunity to be picky--what we have is what we have. They are all food lovers! It makes me proud... I do many, many things wrong as a parent, but I rocked this one

Elsie_Brownraisin

Ah, I'll be one of those people who provide a caveat for that statement :laugh:

Mine has aspergers and will gag and vomit because of the texture of some foods. Though it can be hard to tell when he really doesn't like something or he just doesn't want to eat that meal - chips and nuggets are one of his favourites too. It's difficult to balance him having a real problem or when he's just being a turd. And sometimes yes, he's just being a turd.

But as far as possible, he eats what we eat, with substitutions (e.g. cheese and beans instead of meat).

It's difficult to say that's all there is at meal times as he's underweight to start with and is very reluctant to try new things, but if he doesn't eat his tea there's nothing else until supper, which, unless he's eaten tea, is always warm milk and fruit. He gets dessert and hot chocolate and biscuits if he eats, so it's not worth holding out for.

Obviously he won't starve, but I think he can hold out longer than most.

Edit to add: I was forced to eat everything on my plate, even if I detested it and vomited. It's done wonders for my relationship with food! If there's something he consistently loathes, such as pasta, I won't serve it to him and he gets rice instead.

katz6910

I have 2 children with texture issues so I cater for them separately. One can't eat meat and the other cannot eat slippery foods (pasta, mashed potatoes etc). It's hard work trying to make one family meal that everyone will eat. I keep putting different textured foods on their plates as I know one day it will change (like my eldest who will pretty much eat anything I make)

I'd love to be able to cook one meal for us all and for everyone to eat it but I'd rather not have to deal with the vomit every day. So for now I pick my battles and know that it'll be better one day :bigsmile:

Elsie_Brownraisin

First world potential issue, but, children have two times the number of taste buds then adults. True story. Pre-teen kiddos typically do not like vegetables due to their bitter taste so you may or may not create an issue 'forcing' foods on to kiddos. But, IMHO at the casa we provide them different options with meals. If I am making salmon though I'm the only one eating it. As for your 'precious family' and crappy foods, well, once you do have children and the time constraints of day-to-day living increase, your view may change, then again opinions vary.

this too, is it really your business to judge what parent do for their kids?

No most of us dont succumb to chicken nuggets and french fries every night but I know there is no way in hell they would eat a plant based diet like I do.

As parents we do the best we can with what we have. You also need to pick and chose your battles with your kids. I myself prefer to battle and make sure he has good grades, is respectful when he is outside my home, and is generally a decent thoughtful person with good hygeine. If I have to make him a side meal because I dont want to eat the lasagna that I know he likes I think of this as the least of my worries from a parenting stand point.

I am trying to raise someone to be a decent contributing member of society. He will eat what I make him, but I wont force him to eat to the extremes I do, unless he ever wants to try then I would love to show him my ways.

Picking battles - yes!!

shartran

First world potential issue, but, children have two times the number of taste buds then adults. True story. Pre-teen kiddos typically do not like vegetables due to their bitter taste so you may or may not create an issue 'forcing' foods on to kiddos. But, IMHO at the casa we provide them different options with meals. If I am making salmon though I'm the only one eating it. As for your 'precious family' and crappy foods, well, once you do have children and the time constraints of day-to-day living increase, your view may change, then again opinions vary.

You speak of 'time restrictions'...which I totally get. How is fixing separate meals for each family member saving you time?
P>S>
NOT a judgement...just curious!!

hookemhorns2013

My kids eat what I cook most of the time. My 5 year old is in an odd phase right now with food so I try to cook what she likes just so she will eat but my older kid goes with the flow so it works out. I eat totally different from them most of the time because I don't want them to be forced to eat health food so they do not eat what I eat mostly. I do cook healthy food for them just not as strict as I am on myself by far with my food restrictions.

brynnsmom

Sometimes. I grew up having family dinners, and ideally that's what we want to do. My daughter is three and luckily not picky - she'll go for zucchini or broccoli before a chicken nugget any day. However, during the week it can be difficult to get a sit down meal ready for three people with so many other things going on - especially with a hungry, impatient toddler. I turn to frozen fish sticks and canned greened beans or mac and cheese when I have to for her. On weekends I have more time to cook for all of us and we try to eat earlier, together. I guess it's not so much that my child eats differently, just at different times. People have to find out what works for them. No judgement here.

ninja8tofu

In general, no, my kids eat what I eat or they can fix themselves something (except for the 4 yo whom I will help make a sandwich for). Once in a while, though, if I am having something that only I like or is leftovers and there isn't enough for everyone else, I will usually make them something else that they really like or I will order them pizza (I don't like pizza). There are really only a couple things they don't care for.

ChrysalisCove

My son is only a year, but we are making a focused effort now to introduce him to as many whole & nutritious foods as possible. Our "house rule" (which applies to my husband as well) is that you can have what I make for dinner, or you can have leftovers from a previous night. You can pick & choose what you like from that night's meal, but those are your options. I also will intentionally add only one "new / different" item per meal & ensure to include one thing I know my son likes (or at least liked recently - kids' tastes are all over the place)!

Chezzie84

I don't have kids but I would like to think that when I do have them, they will eat what I eat.

From listening to my mom and watching my sister with my 18 month old nephew, my understanding is that children will eat pretty much what you "train" them to eat. Given them chips and chicken nuggets and that's what they come to expect. If you pamper to their whims then they will take advantage of that.

Please correct me if I am wrong as I said I have no practical experience only theoretical.

Edit: Plus the rule in my house is when you do the shopping and the cooking then you can dictate what we eat lol
My bf is quite happy with this btw.

_Terrapin_

First world potential issue, but, children have two times the number of taste buds then adults. True story. Pre-teen kiddos typically do not like vegetables due to their bitter taste so you may or may not create an issue 'forcing' foods on to kiddos. But, IMHO at the casa we provide them different options with meals. If I am making salmon though I'm the only one eating it. As for your 'precious family' and crappy foods, well, once you do have children and the time constraints of day-to-day living increase, your view may change, then again opinions vary.

You speak of 'time restrictions'...which I totally get. How is fixing separate meals for each family member saving you time?
P>S>
NOT a judgement...just curious!!

Salmon 3 minutes microwave; other tools at hand, immersion blender, a stove, the grill, sammich(just hands needed really), prepping meals like Dream Dinners. We also will eat at different times, some nights it is left overs, and some nights we eat as a family. Are you asking me if I prepare and make separate meals for each family member? No. Do they make their own meals sometimes....yes.

Again though, first world problems. Both our kids are self-sufficient, meaning, they'll make what they want if we do not have something prepared. Children, like adults, vary on their ability to be self-starters. And remember, the taste buds are really at the core of what kids may or may not like, not what you want them to eat.

rockmama72

And remember, the taste buds are really at the core of what kids may or may not like, not what you want them to eat.

Sometimes. But a lot of times kids will decide they don't like something without trying it, and sometimes they pick up on the parent's cues (and expectations) that indicate they won't like something. I've had many parents say stuff like, "my kids would NEVER eat ____." Of course they won't! They won't even get to try!

Ninkyou

Only if what I'm cooking is considered "spicy". My 5 year old and spicy don't go well together. Otherwise, she gets what we're having. She doesn't get the option of having something different. Not like she complains about it either, she's only 5.

_Terrapin_

And remember, the taste buds are really at the core of what kids may or may not like, not what you want them to eat.

Sometimes. But a lot of times kids will decide they don't like something without trying it, and sometimes they pick up on the parent's cues (and expectations) that indicate they won't like something. I've had many parents say stuff like, "my kids would NEVER eat ____." Of course they won't! They won't even get to try!

True, I try to avoid exacts on the threads, as I said 'core'. Sure, having a kiddo try something is part of the process, cues and/or expectation are part of the day-to-day. Good points.

VastBreak

We all eat mostly the same thing. We all have things we don't like and we try to work around that. My littles don't like lettuce so if we have salad with dinner they will usually just have olives and cheese and cucumbers and not the entire salad mix. One child doesn't like green beans, one doesn't like broccoli so usually we will slice n apple to replace that.

I think for us it is important to have options available. We try not to force food but also make sure that they try things. We all drink water so that is not much of an issue. We also walk as a family, go bike riding together when the weather is nice and also like to play tennis. The littles come with us and each have a racket but they mostly run around and play with balls and we bring them scooters and things.

Our over all goal is to be healthy and we can do that together.

katz6910

I don't have kids but I would like to think that when I do have them, they will eat what I eat.

From listening to my mom and watching my sister with my 18 month old nephew, my understanding is that children will eat pretty much what you "train" them to eat. Given them chips and chicken nuggets and that's what they come to expect. If you pamper to their whims then they will take advantage of that.

Please correct me if I am wrong as I said I have no practical experience only theoretical.

Edit: Plus the rule in my house is when you do the shopping and the cooking then you can dictate what we eat lol
My bf is quite happy with this btw.

When I first introduced my children to solids it was all healthy home cooked meals but there seems to be a point at which it changes for some kids. My 5 year old would eat anything I cooked, he loved bolognese, every fruit and every vegetable, varied meats. Now when he tries to eat meat he gags and heaves until he's sick. I still put it on his plate if he wants to try it, for a long long time vegetables would also make him gag but he would eat fruit all day long if I let him. He can now eat any vegetable (except cauliflower) so it is sometimes something they grow out of. I hope he grows out of the meat thing soon. My 3 year old is incredibly fussy but as a baby she ate everything. She will eat spicy food all day long but won't touch potatoes in any form and fruit makes her gag and often sick.

Every child is different, maybe before I had kids I thought they'd eat what I made too. I can't really remember. I know one thing though, I won't feed them anything I wouldn't be prepared to eat myself. We regularly buy something new to try as well and I include them in that decision as much as I can, one week it may be a new fruit or vegetable the next it may be a new biscuit :bigsmile: